by J. L. Wilder
“Thanking you.”
“If you hadn’t insisted on prying, you wouldn’t be worrying about this at all.”
Wes sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Can we have a civilized conversation about this?”
“You, civilized? I thought your whole thing was anti-civilization.”
“You don’t need to be like that,” he said. “I’m not asking for anything more than to talk with you.”
“Are you going to keep showing up at my house?”
“No,” he said. “I want one conversation.”
She hesitated. “I’m naked in here.”
“I’ll get you something to wear.”
“Fine.” Maybe giving in and speaking to him once would get him off her back. And it would make raising her children easier if they could come to some sort of agreement—if he would promise to stay away so that she didn’t always have to be on the lookout for him around town.
He turned and ran off, disappearing into the trees.
For a minute, Lauren considered taking advantage of his absence. She could shift and start running back toward the city.
But he was faster than she was. She was certain of that. He was more experienced with his bear form, and he was stronger too. Even with a head start, she wouldn’t be able to outrun him. He would catch up to her, and then they would be right back in this same predicament.
He returned after only a few minutes, carrying a t-shirt. He held it up, and Lauren could see that it would be big enough to fit her like a loose dress.
She nodded. “All right,” she said. “Hang it on that tree branch and turn around.”
“I’ve seen you naked, you know,” he said.
She waited, unwilling to bend.
He sighed theatrically and turned his back to her.
Lauren swam to the bank and came up out of the water. She went to the tree branch and pulled the shirt over her head. She was soaking wet, and it clung to the curves of her body in a way she didn’t love—this wasn’t much better than being naked.
Still, it was the best she was going to get. And he was right—he had seen her naked before.
“All right,” she said. “Let’s get this over with.”
He turned toward her, letting his eyes linger over her body for just a little bit too long. Lauren felt a strange combination of anger and heat, her body responding to the knowledge that he was drawn to her.
For a moment, she remembered how powerful that afternoon in her mother’s kitchen had been. How unable she had been to resist him, and how she hadn’t even wanted to.
I need to be careful not to let this go too far. The last thing I want is to start things up again.
He turned and led the way into the trees, and Lauren followed.
Chapter Sixteen
WES
Don’t look at her. Don’t.
It was all but impossible. He felt as if he could feel the energy coming from her body, radiating toward him. Calling out to him.
Was she always this sexy?
He thought back. He remembered being taken aback by how drawn to her he’d been that day at her mother’s house. But it wasn’t that weird. She was a good-looking woman, and Wes had always had a weakness for that sort of thing.
But Lauren?
She’d always been pretty, of course. But when they were growing up together, he had never looked at her that way. Even when he had reached the age where girls had been at the forefront of his mind, he had never considered her.
Of course, he would never have consciously pursued Lauren, simply because of the fact that she was Jessica’s best friend. There could be no cutting her out of his life. Even if she hadn’t been carrying his children, she would always be connected to him through his sister.
But that shouldn’t have mattered. She was going back to her job in the suburbs. We should never have had to see each other again.
She had accused him of following her. But in fact, wasn’t she the one who had set the stage for this confrontation? She was the one who had moved back to the city, much closer to his territory than her own. She had to have known there was a chance of running into him here.
She was the one who had chosen to let Jessica—and the whole den—know that she was pregnant. Had she thought he would never hear about it? Had she thought he was incapable of doing the math?
And now she was the one in the forest, where she knew he lived. She must have realized he would be out here. If she really wanted to avoid him, why wouldn’t she stick to the city?
They’d reached the trailer, and he reached out and tugged open the door.
“You don’t keep that locked?” Lauren asked critically.
His temper flared. Who was she to criticize his life? “Don’t get a lot of visitors out here,” he said. “I’m more concerned about animals than people.”
“Fair enough, I guess,” she admitted.
He went inside, not bothering to hold the door for her, aware that he was being rude. To be honest, he was reveling in it a little bit. She might have been incredibly hot, but he was still angry at her for lying to him.
He strode to the fridge and pulled out a beer for himself. “Want one?” he asked Lauren, holding the bottle up.
Her eyes flashed. “Are you serious, Wes?”
“What?”
“I’m pregnant,” she enunciated as if he might have somehow failed to understand the meaning of the word. “No, I don’t want a fucking beer. What are you thinking?"
“Oh, right,” he said. “Sorry.”
“You forgot already.” She folded her arms across her torso. “I don’t know why I’m surprised, to be honest. I should never have worried about keeping this from you. It’s no problem at all that you know. You’re way too self-centered to even remember that this is happening from one day to the next.”
“Okay, enough,” Wes snapped. “Of course I didn’t forget, Lauren, Jesus. I haven’t had time to think through all the nuances of it yet, that’s all. You’ve been walking around for at least two months, knowing that you’re pregnant, knowing what it means for your life, thinking about what it’s going to mean for your future. I’ve had a few hours. Lay the hell off.”
“Sorry for inconveniencing you,” she shot back.
“You inconvenienced me by not being honest,” he said. “What did you think was going to happen, exactly? Did you think I would try to force my way into your life if I knew the truth? Did you think I was going to steal your children away from you or something?”
She had the decency to look abashed. “Of course not,” she murmured. “I know you wouldn’t.”
“So then what? Why couldn’t you just tell me? Why couldn’t I be allowed to know?”
“Maybe that’s easier for me!” she cried. “Maybe I’d rather not give you the choice to be a part of this than watch you choose to run away!”
“And you’re so sure I would run away.”
“God, Wes. Of course you would. What in your life have you not run away from? You ran away right after we had sex.”
“I didn’t run; I left. You didn’t ask me to stay then, either.”
“You ran away from the den.”
“So did you! I come home a hell of a lot more often than you ever did, and you know that.”
“You ran away from Jessica,” Lauren said.
He fell silent. She had him on that one.
Lauren pressed on. “She’s your sister,” she said. “You’re the only family she has. “I know she was heartbroken when you left.”
“You’re her best friend,” Wes said. “You left her too. Don’t forget about that. You act like I’m the only one who ever puts what I want ahead of what other people might need. But we’ve both done that. We’ve both turned our back on den life and on the people we love.”
“Is this why you asked me to come in here?” Lauren demanded. “To call me out? To criticize my life choices?”
“No,” Wes said.
The conversation had gotten away from
him. He had been angry, yes, but he hadn’t intended to pick a fight.
But she was glaring at him from across the trailer, and his anger spiked.
She moved, and the shirt she was wearing shifted slightly. It clung to her breasts as her chest heaved with outrage.
Oh, hell.
He crossed the trailer in two short steps and pulled her into his arms.
He expected resistance. What he didn’t anticipate was how quickly she submitted to his kiss. How quickly she leaned into his body, and how passionately she kissed him back.
What the fuck are we doing here?
Chapter Seventeen
WES
Lauren panted, bowing her body against his so that they were as close as they could possibly be.
Wes’s head was spinning. They had just been yelling at each other. How had they gotten from there to here?
He thought maybe he should stop things. Maybe he should talk to her, try to find out if she had thought this through.
But he knew the answer to that question, didn’t he?
Of course she hasn’t thought it through. How could she have? We didn’t plan on this.
And he didn’t want to stop.
He wasn’t sure he even could. Not with Lauren pressed up against him like this. He could feel every inch of her body through the thin cotton of the t-shirt she was wearing.
There was no graceful way to remove the shirt—it stuck to her body—so they broke apart for a moment and worked together to peel it over her head. Even as they did so, her hand found its way to his cock, massaging, and he felt himself straining against his pants.
“You’re killing me,” he moaned.
She tossed the wet shirt aside. It landed with a slap on the floor behind her. Then she climbed back into his arms. Sensing what she wanted, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up, holding her so that she was sitting just above the bulge in his pants.
He could feel the heat of her right through the denim. He thought he was going to lose his mind.
Lauren caught his lips with hers again, and Wes gave himself over to the taste. After a moment, he noticed that she was grinding slowly, rolling her hips toward him and then away.
He broke the kiss and looked at her. Her eyes were closed and her face was shiny with sweat. She looked as though she had lost herself completely to impulse and instinct.
We’ll do it in a bed this time. It was the most coherent thought his mind could put together.
He carried her to the little bed at the back of the trailer and sat down so that she was astride his lap. She groaned in relief at the better angle this gave her and began to rock her hips against him in earnest.
“Wait,” he said.
She shook her head, gripping his shoulders.
He rolled over, dumping her off of him, and she cried out in surprise and indignation.
Quickly, he unzipped his jeans and took them off. Then he was on top of her, between her legs, and now it was his turn to rub himself against her.
She was so hot. So wet. There was no mistaking her reaction.
Still, he had to be sure. He didn’t want more unpleasantness between them later.
“You want me,” he said. It came out a growl.
She nodded quickly. “Yes.”
“Because I can stop.” It was difficult, but he forced himself to still, to put the slightest distance between them. “We don’t have to do this.”
She moaned.
“I don’t want you to have regrets.” He hesitated, and then he couldn’t help being a little unkind. “I don’t want you to wish you weren’t involved with me.”
“Damn it, Wes.”
“What?”
“You know what you’re doing to me.” She was actually reaching for his cock now. Her hand closed around him and tried to pull him closer, to guide him into her, but he held himself back. “It hurts. I want you so bad it fucking hurts.”
He held out for a few moments longer, enjoying the fact that he was torturing her.
She deserves it.
Then, unable to resist anymore, he thrust his long shaft into her.
The noise she made in response was more animal than human. Her legs wound around his hips and her hands came up to grip him behind his neck, and Wes had the impression that even if he had tried to pull away, he probably wouldn’t have been able to.
That was just as well. He had no desire at all to separate himself from her.
He bent down and tasted the skin at her neck, at her collarbone, at her breasts. She still tasted a bit like river water, but it was a taste he associated with pleasant, sunny days, and it just drove his enjoyment to new heights. He let his lower lip run over the underside of her nipple, and she whined and arched her back into his mouth.
Fuck. She is so insanely hot.
Then, suddenly, he remembered again that she was pregnant. She was carrying his children.
It should have taken him out of the moment. He would have expected it to. Half an hour ago, that fact had been a strange and disturbing distraction.
But now, with her body spread beneath him, it spurred his desire to new heights.
She was pregnant. He had made her pregnant. And he would get to watch her body swell and grow round as her babies grew—
The thought was enough to send him over the edge. He let out a satisfied roar as he came, his fingers digging into the flesh on her shoulders.
He rolled off of her and reached for the box of tissues he kept near the bed, meaning to offer it to her so that she could clean herself up if she wanted to.
But she was already on her feet, moving away from him.
“Hey,” he said, frowning. “What’s going on? You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
But she wasn’t looking at him.
She moved toward the discarded wet t-shirt, hesitated, and then apparently thought better of it and left it where it was.
“Hang on, Lauren.” Wes got to his feet. “Let’s talk.”
But her hand was on the doorknob. She opened the door, slipped outside, and slammed it closed behind her.
He stared in shock.
What’s up with her?
She had wanted this. He had been sure of that. He was still sure of that. And hadn’t she just finished upbraiding him for always running away from things?
Now she was running away.
“I was right about her,” he murmured. “She’s not any better than I am. She has no right to judge me."
Chapter Eighteen
WES
I’m not going after her.
That was the thought that ran through Wes’s head on repeat as he ran. He had left the trailer moments after Lauren had, and he’d assumed his animal form. But he wasn’t going to follow her.
Lauren had made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want to be followed.
So now Wes was running in the opposite direction. Away from the city. Human life was too complicated right now.
As a bear, I won’t have to deal with that.
He wouldn’t have to face his sister and see the hurt and reproach she was no doubt feeling after the way he had used her to get information about her best friend.
And he wouldn’t have to see Lauren. He wouldn’t have to wonder, with every passing day, why she hadn’t trusted him with the news of her pregnancy.
She would get her way. It would be as if he had never known about it at all. That would make her happy.
What about you? the human voice in the back of his head, which was never quite silent, asked. Will it make you happy to be away like this?
He hushed the voice, leaning into his bear instincts instead. He didn’t want to think of that last moment with Lauren, of the primal satisfaction he had felt at the idea of her being pregnant with his children.
If he thought about that, he would have to admit the urge he’d felt to involve himself. He would have to admit how badly he had wanted to see her pregnancy progress.
It was an urge he didn’t
understand, and one that frightened him badly. It was so powerful. It felt stronger than any compulsion he had ever faced before, as if he needed to be by her side.
The only sane thing to do was to get as far away as he could.
Fortunately, he was used to this life. He was as ready for this as anyone had ever been. It felt, suddenly, as if his entire existence had been leading up to this moment, conditioning him for the day he would need to go off on his own.
He dug his feet into the dirt and ran.
After the complexity of being with Lauren, being a bear was a relief. The things the bear wanted were simple. He wanted fresh air. He wanted food and water. He wanted to feel the slight pain in his muscles as his body worked hard, trying to run faster.
He had gone away before, lived wild for lengths of time. But this time would be different.
He didn’t know when he would return to his little trailer.
Maybe he never would.
Maybe he would live as a bear forever. It would be so much simpler. So much more straightforward.
He didn’t slow his run until he had crossed the big river that ran about twenty miles north of his trailer site. This river was much wider and more powerful than the little stream in which he’d found Lauren swimming, and even Wes didn’t dare to try to face the current. Fortunately, a fallen tree spanned the breadth of the river, and he was able to make his way across.
Once on the far bank, he turned and looked back.
He would not be followed here. He knew that. It was extremely rare that anyone even came into the woods near his trailer. Jessica never visited him there—he always went to her—and the other members of the den tended to confine their runs to different parts of the woods.
But even if someone was looking for him, when they saw that the trailer was empty, they would give up. They wouldn’t search further. Because Wes had built a reputation over the years as someone who was unreliable, who was just as likely to be ranging around as a bear as he was to be at home. No one would be surprised that he was gone.
