by Robin Roseau
“I want the truth.”
“I’ve given you the truth.”
“Perhaps you’ve given me a portion of the truth.”
“Well, I’d admitted that.”
“I want the truth.”
“Let’s go back to those scenarios again,” I said. “Give me the benefit of the doubt. I have not lied. I do not know what conversations you have had with Nan in the past, so I cannot vouch for what she may have told you while I wasn’t here. I have not heard her lie, although she at times may offer brief explanations where longer would offer greater clarity.”
“Scenarios,” said Mrs. Wu.”
“List the scenarios that, if true, would not result in Nan being disowned from this family.”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“What if she’s dating a mafia boss.”
“She’s not.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know my daughter. She has better taste than that.”
“I’m not dating a mafia boss,” Nan confirmed.
“What if she were?”
“Then we would have a long discussion about making better choices,” Mrs. Wu said. “Would you blame me?”
“No, because she and I would already have been talking about it, and I wouldn’t be helping her keep it from you.”
“Try again.”
“Perhaps she is dating a westerner.”
“Is this man or woman polite with a good job?”
“Does that matter?”
“Yes.”
“To the best of my knowledge, Nan is not dating anyone who is less polite than I am.”
“That is an interesting way to state it.”
“Isn’t it?” I agreed. “I would offer only slightly more leeway on jobs, but to the best of my knowledge, she is not dating a professional musician. What if she were?”
“I do not want my daughter to date someone with no prospects.”
“How much higher than her own prospects do you require?”
“I am quite satisfied with Nan’s prospects.”
“Well then. And if she were dating a western man of somewhat lower prospects, but not to the point of living in his car?”
“I would question her choices, but it is ridiculous to suggest I would disown her.”
“Hmm. Maybe we’ll see. And if your suspicions are correct, and she is dating a western woman?”
Her lips tightened. She looked up at her daughter. “That would not be my preference.”
“What if she were a Chinese woman?”
“That is not my preference, either.”
“Well then, I can only imagine what you think of me, as we spoke to my lover a few minutes ago.”
“You called Mary?”
“Yeah,” I said. “She’s smart. I’m sure she figured out why.”
“Do you want me to drive you home?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t been kicked out yet. She even stopped calling me a liar.”
“My preference,” said Mrs. Wu, “Is for my daughter to marry well and have a good life.”
“My preference,” I said. “Is for Nan to be happy. Currently, she isn’t. She has moments of happiness, but in general, she is miserable, and I blame you, Mrs. Wu.” I stood and turned to Nan. “Now I want to go home. I’m sorry. I’ve made this worse. I can’t stand bigots. You were right, and I don’t know who I am to suggest I knew better than you.”
Mrs. Wu climbed to her feet. “So you’re going to run away?”
I spun to her. “I have not lied to you. You had no right to accost me with this conversation.”
“My daughter is not miserable! She has a good job and good prospects, but it is past time for her to marry!”
“You have part of it right. She has a good job, one she’s quite good at. But I have very western ideas about marriage, and progressive besides. And in my view, the time to get married is when you’ve found someone who makes you happy.”
“I found someone,” Nan said. “I found someone who made me happier than anyone has ever made me happy. I found someone who literally worshipped at my feet. I found someone who would have done almost anything for me to make me happy. I found someone who I think loved me, and who I loved. But I knew you wouldn’t approve, and I waited too long, and I lost my chance.”
I turned back to her, and when I offered, she came into my arms. I held her as she buried her face. “Maybe I’ll drive,” I whispered. “And I know for a fact the person who you found loved you.”
She gave a little sob.
“Nan?” said Mrs. Wu. I could hear the concern in her voice. At that moment, I realized she loved her daughter, even if she expressed it differently than I would appreciate. She spoke Mandarin and this time, I didn’t chastise her for it.
Nan didn’t answer her, and Mrs. Wu shifted her gaze to me. “Who?”
“None of your business.”
“Tell her,” Nan whispered. “I can’t. Tell her, Selena. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Yes, Nan, it does.”
“No. Please tell her.”
“Are you sure?”
“No, but once said, it can’t be taken back, and I’ll be free.”
I nodded. “Mrs. Wu, your instincts actually aren’t that bad. I haven’t lied to you, not once. Nan was quite clear that she would never introduce this person to you. And so she finally accepted love somewhere else.”
“You,” she whispered.
“Me.”
“Take me home,” Nan said.
We didn’t stop on the way out of the house.
* * * *
Nan turned her phone off, and she stayed with us for a couple of days. At work, we told Leah, the receptionist, that if any angry Chinese women came looking for Nan, to get me instead.
On the following Wednesday afternoon, Leah rang my desk. “Selena, there’s a Mrs. Wu here.”
“I’m on my way,” I said. “Don’t ring Nan.”
“She’s asking for you.”
“Really. On my way.”
When I reached Reception, I found Mrs. Wu dressed in a business suit. RealSoft was a casual work place, although I tended towards blouses and skirts. I came to a stop five feet from her. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Wu. Welcome to RealSoft.”
“I would like to speak with you, Selena. Is there somewhere we may speak?”
“Leah, is there a conference room available?”
“Hopper is free.”
“Thanks. This way, Mrs. Wu.”
I led the way, then gestured her into one of our modest conference rooms. I closed the door and waited until she was seated before I took my own. “What can I do for you?”
“You are being quite formal.”
“What can I do for you?” I echoed.
“I owe you an apology.”
“Probably several,” I said. “And I couldn’t care less, but I would be quite ecstatic if you told your daughter you love her unconditionally, and that you will support her in whatever decisions she makes. I would be over the moon and the stars if you told her you would welcome a daughter-in-law into the family with the warmest of open arms.”
“I’m working on that,” she replied. “It would be easier if she took my calls. I don’t even know where she is. She hasn’t gone home.”
“She’s currently at her desk, or she was five minutes ago. She’s been staying with Mary and me.”
“Why?”
“She’s at her desk because that’s where she does her job. She’s staying in our guest room because we’re offering her a new family.”
“She has a family.”
“Our mothers are arranging to come for a visit,” I continued. “I haven’t met Esmee yet, but we’ve spoken via Skype, and I think I’m going to love her. Mom was deeply welcoming to Mary. I think the two of them intend to mother the hell out of Nan.”
She waved a finger at me but then dropped it – and her gaze. “Thank you for taking care of my daughter, but she doesn’t need a replacement
family.”
“We’ll see,” I said.
She looked up. “I wasn’t entirely wrong.”
“No. You properly detected a notable relationship. If dinner had been two months earlier, your accusations would have been entirely accurate. However, if I couldn’t have honestly told you I was in a committed relationship with someone else, we wouldn’t have been as comfortable with each other.”
“Yes, well. I should not have accused you of lying, I am sorry.”
“Accepted,” I said. “Will there be anything else?” She didn’t get up from the chair. I waited a moment then softened my tone. “Was coming here difficult?”
“Coming here wasn’t at all difficult. Asking to speak to you was.” She lifted her gaze. “I love Nan.”
“I have no doubt.”
“I want her to be happy.”
“I think you want her to fit into certain expectations that are never going to happen, but would make her entirely miserable if they did.”
“You’re right. I would have wanted her to marry a successful doctor and give me several grandchildren.”
“That could still happen, although I’ve never heard of her dating a doctor.”
“And how do grandchildren happen? I imagine not in the usual way.”
“Not in the fashion you imagine is usual. Some couples adopt. Some seek help from medical professionals. Some make arrangements, but that’s not a choice I would personally take, and I don’t think Nan would, either.”
“What kind of arrangements?”
“The usual way, in a temporary arrangement.”
“People do that?”
“As I said, it’s not a choice I would make. Adoption and visiting a clinic are ‘the usual ways’ for lesbians now. I don’t know if Nan wants babies. We haven’t discussed it. And even if she does, and she visits a clinic, it may be her wife would be the one to carry the children. And it may be the children would not carry a Chinese appearance.”
“I’d say I don’t care about that, but I do. Is that wrong of me?”
“It’s wrong if you can’t love your granddaughters, regardless of how they look. It’s wrong if you ever, ever, ever say anything negative about it. Ever. If you need to get it out of your system, I recommend you do it with me. Even more wrong is if you play favorites, treating the one with a Chinese appearance as your grandchild, and any others as unwanted. Tell me, Mrs. Wu, are you capable of accepting all your grandchildren, regardless of appearance?”
“I don’t know. How am I going to know?”
“Are you capable of hugging your daughter-in-law and making her feel like she is welcome to the family?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, until you decide the answer is ‘yes’ to both of those, then yes, Nan needs a replacement family. Because my mother is more than willing to adopt Nan.”
“I forbid that!”
“You can forbid all you want, but you have absolutely no authority, and you know it.”
“You are almost as big a meddler as I am.”
“I think that might be a compliment.”
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I would like you to call me Fan.”
“Do you say it as Wu Fan, or Fan Wu?”
“In America, it is Fan Wu. In China, it is Wu Fan.”
“At home?”
“At home, we only use our personal names. I imagine it would depend upon which language we were speaking.”
“Your English is very good, by the way, Fan.”
“I have lived in America for nearly four decades, and I am a successful businesswoman. I would hope my English was good. I am here making an effort. I am not here trying to force my daughter into a life of misery.”
“And the rest of your family?”
“Will take their cues from me.”
I nodded. “I don’t know what I can do. I was pretty sure I burnt half the country down before leaving your home, not just a bridge or two.”
“There were flames,” she said. “You only lit some of those fires.”
“Fair enough.”
“I would like the rest of the story.”
“About Nan and me?”
“And how she lost you.”
I considered. “All right. Almost a year and a half ago, I began casually dating several women, Nan being one of them. It was casual with each of them, and they each knew not only that I was dating other women, but who those women were.”
“Very open-minded.”
“Each of them had reasons why it would remain casual. There were three that probably could have reached an exclusive commitment from me, and probably very easily, but each of them told me, in one way or another, it was going to remain casual. It is not my fault the relationships remained casual.”
“Your Mary was one of these three.”
“No. She is more recent, but that is the next progression. Mary also knew who I was seeing, but she asked me out as well. This was approximately four months ago. Mary told me she would share me until we reached the point of admitting love.”
“Ah.”
“We’d barely begun dating when she invited herself to meet my mother, and after that, everything else was inevitable. She could have demanded an exclusive relationship, and I probably would have agreed, but I think she was wise to wait.”
“So you were dating Nan while also dating these other women, including your current partner.”
“Yes, but if our conversation had been a month ago, I would not have claimed to be in an exclusive, committed relationship, because I wasn’t.”
“You were very careful with your words.”
“Yes, I was.”
“I believe I have most of the picture. Why did my daughter say you literally worshipped at her feet.”
“There are details I will never share with you, but she said that because it was true.”
“Is that some sort of…” She stumbled over the next word. “Lesbian thing?”
“Not particularly.” I smiled. “I’ll offer you a bribe. It’s a small bribe to you, but a fairly significant bribe from me. The day I see you treating all your grandchildren with warmth and love, I’ll tell you more of the details. You’ll probably enjoy the story, but you might be shocked. I think, two years ago, I would have been shocked.”
“How about the day you see me warmly treating my daughter’s partner?”
“With a promise for the grandchildren?”
She inclined her head. “Yes.”
“Will you be able to keep that promise?”
“Yes.”
“All right.” I held out my hand. We shook, but then I said, “It’s almost a certainty I’ll know Nan’s partner, and I’ll probably have already heard if it’s an act.”
“That’s fair, but if we begin rough but warm up to each other over time, I consider this a binding agreement.”
“That is fair. I will be satisfied if I believe your behavior is genuine.”
“You mean it literally. You worshipped at her feet.”
“Yes, and it’s not some sort of word game. I was not praying to god, and we’re not playing games with you.”
“That didn’t occur to me, but it might have.”
“You won’t feel cheated by the story.”
“Did Nan also worship your feet?”
“No. That part of our relationship was unidirectional, but she treated me exactly the way I wanted, barring the entire keep-it-casual, hidden-from-my-family thing. That was the only problem in our relationship, and because of it, we were both careful with our emotions. And I dated other people to make it easier to be careful.”
“I’m sorry for that, although I wonder how much we would fight.”
“We wouldn’t, if you accepted me,” I said. “I’m tough when defending myself or my friends. Otherwise, I’m a pushover.”
“Are you?”
“Yes. We wouldn’t have fought if you were accepting, but if I’d seen you playing favorites with grandbabies, that would have
been a fight.”
“A mother should defend her children.”
“On that, we’re definitely agreed.”
“I would like you and your Mary to come to dinner. I would like to meet her.”
I considered. “You can meet her right now. She works here, too.”
She nodded. “I’d like that.”
I fished out my phone. “Hey. I’m in Hopper with Mrs. Wu. Would you like to meet her?”
“I bet that’s been an interesting conversation. Sure. Do I need to don armor?”
“No.”
“Two minutes.”
I set the phone down. “Fan, I don’t know how to help you get through this.”
“You can take care of my daughter for a few more days, and then help arrange a meeting.”
I grabbed a pad and pen and wrote my cell number and email address down, then tore off the sheet and handed it to her. She glanced at it, then folded it and put it in her purse. There was a knock at the door, and then Mary opened it enough to slip in. She came to a stop, her back to the door, then pushed off and walked around the table to me. By the time she arrived, I was on my feet.
I held out my hand to Mary in a stop gesture. She offered a look, but she didn’t say anything. I looked at Fan. “I’m trying to decide if we should shock you.”
“Yes,” Mary said. “We should.” She brushed my hand away and then pushed me up against the nearest wall, sliding a leg between mine, then launched us into a soul-wrenching kiss. I let myself enjoy it, and I gave a little whimper of pleasure long before Mary released me. Then she stepped back and turned to Fan. She held out her hand. “I’m Mary. We spoke on the phone.”
Fan said nothing for a moment. Mary continued to hold her hand out, then Fan stepped forward and clasped for a moment. “Fan Wu,” she said. “Call me Fan.”
“Of course. A pleasure, I hope. Shall we sit?” Mary grabbed my hand, and we found ourselves back in the chairs.
“I presume that’s not your normal work behavior.” She gestured to the wall.
“It happens,” Mary said. “Have you ever seen two women kiss like that?”
“No.”
“I wasn’t watching. Did you avert your eyes?”
