by Kaylee Ryan
When I woke up this morning, my head was pounding and my heart ached. I declined breakfast with Emily and Caleb and headed home. I barely remembered the drive, too lost in the memories of last night. As quietly as I could, I went straight to my room and climbed back in bed. I wanted to sleep the day away.
“Wake up, sleepy head,” Tabby says from her perch on the edge of my bed.
“What time is it?” I ask her.
“One.”
I groan, knowing that I have things to do today to get ready for work this week. “I guess I need to get my lazy ass motivated.”
“Rough night?”
“You could say that.”
“I heard you come in early this morning.”
“Yeah, Caleb and Emily were too damn chipper. I needed more sleep.” It’s not a complete lie.
“Well, your phone’s been going off like crazy. You should check it. I’m heading out to Mom and Dad’s, I’ll see you later.”
“Later,” I say, reaching to the nightstand and grabbing my phone. I have four missed text messages from Grady from various times throughout the morning.
Grady: Morning, beautiful. How are you feeling?
Grady: I guess you’re still sleeping. Call or text me when you wake up.
Grady: Caleb said you left his place hours ago. Are you okay?
And the last one.
Grady: If I don’t hear from you in thirty minutes, I’m coming over.
Looking at the time on my phone, I see it was sent twenty minutes ago, I’m quick to type out a reply. The first I’ve given him since he waltzed back into my life.
Me: I’m fine. Fell back asleep.
Grady: I was worried.
Me: Don’t be.
Grady: I’ll always be.
Gah! Why does he have to be so damn charming? I toss my phone and throw the covers off. Grabbing some clothes, I head to the bathroom to take a shower. I let the hot spray wash over me, massaging my sore muscles. I must have slept wrong. When the water starts to run cold, I shut it off and climb out, and that’s when I hear the knock at the door. Shit. Rushing, I tie my hair up in a towel, slip into my robe, and open the bathroom door. My wet feet drip on the carpet as I rush to the door. Pulling it open, my mouth hangs open when I see who it is.
“Hey,” his deep voice greets me.
“Grady, what are you doing here?”
He holds up a bag. “I brought lunch. I thought we could eat while you fill me in about the apartment next door.”
I groan, remembering that I told him we could talk today. Stepping back, I motion for him to come in. “I’ll be right back.” I rush back to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. I brace my hands on the counter and take a deep breath. I don’t know how long I’m standing here, but it must have been a while because Grady knocks on the door.
“Collins, you okay?”
“Yeah, be out in a minute,” I call through the door. Rushing, I get dressed, sliding into a pair of athletic shorts and a tank top. I remove the towel from my head and brush out my long hair. Instead of putting any effort into my appearance, I tie the still wet strands in a knot on the top of my head. It’s not my best look, but what do I care? It’s not like I’m trying to seduce him or catch his eye. With one more deep breath, I open the door and slowly make my way back to the living room.
“Hungry?” he asks as soon as he sees me. He points to the white bag on the table. “Burger and fries, perfect hangover cure.”
“Thanks, you didn’t have to do that.” I take a seat on the couch on the opposite end.
“I wanted to.” He grabs the bag and passes out our food. He then hands me a bottle of water. “Found it in the fridge,” he explains. I nod.
We eat in silence. When I’ve finally taken my last bite, I have to admit I feel better. “So, you’re in the market for an apartment?”
“Yeah, living at home with Mom and Dad is not what it’s cracked up to be after living on my own all these years.”
“And you want to live here?” It’s a stupid question, but I ask it anyway.
“Sure, I mean, it’s a nice place, right?”
Grabbing my phone from the coffee table, I pull up the landlord’s information. I take a screenshot and then text it to him. His phone beeps, but he makes no move to check it. “I just sent you the landlord’s information.”
“Thank you.” He still makes no move to check it. “Is now good?” he asks.
“Good for what?” I’m playing dumb, but I don’t know if I’m ready to have this conversation. I’m still reeling from last night.
“Collins, I’m not sure how much of last night you remember, so I’ll say it again.” He takes a deep breath, looks down at his hands that are clasped together, then back up at me. What I see has me sucking in a breath. Remorse is clearly written in his eyes. “My biggest regret in life is walking away from you that night.” He pauses but never takes his eyes off me. “I don’t know when it started, but before I left for college, I noticed you. Noticed you as not just the girl next door or my best friend’s little sister. I knew you were off limits, so I let it go and went away to college. Not to mention, you were underage.”
He takes a drink from his water bottle, screws the lid back on, and sets it on the floor, next to his feet. “Then I came home, and you were even more beautiful than I remembered. It was as if my being away and not seeing you, then seeing you again, made me want you even more,” he confesses. “That first night, we had dinner with our families. It took everything I had not to just stare at you. I could feel you watching me. I knew that those gorgeous blue eyes were taking me in. I told myself to ignore it, to ignore you. But that next night, nothing could have kept me away from you.”
I want to tell him to stop, that I don’t want to hear it. Tell him that my fragile heart can’t take it, but I don’t. Because my fragile heart wants to hear it. Every single word.
“I never thought it would go that far. When you dragged me by the hand and out to the backyard, I told myself that I just wanted a taste. I wanted to know if your lips were as soft as they looked. I needed to know if they were as sweet as I imagined.”
I can see the night so vividly in my mind. He’d been watching me, I’d been watching him. Caleb was distracted by his new girlfriend, our parents were playing cards, and I wanted some time with him. Just to talk to him. I’d always crushed on him, but the attention he was giving me that night set my blood on fire. I remember grabbing his hand and leading him out onto the deck.
“It’s such a nice night.” I wrap my arms around myself to ward off the chill. It wasn’t freezing, but it was far from warm.
“You’re shivering.” He leans in and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “Better?”
Grady Carmichael has his arm around me! “Yeah, thanks.” I take advantage and burrow a little closer.
“I have an idea. Come with me.” He laces his fingers through mine and leads me across my backyard into his. Behind their garage is his parents’ camper. Grady opens the door and holds the door open for me. Cautiously, I step into the camper. “The heat isn’t on, but it will keep us out of the night air.”
I turn to thank him, and he’s there, standing so close I can smell him, a musky scent that’s completely Grady. And his eyes, even in the dark of night, I can tell they’re focused on me. I have all of his attention. “Thanks,” I whisper.
He places one hand on my hip, the other reaches up and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “I needed to keep you warm.”
Having his eyes on me all night, combined with lusting after him for years makes me bold. “You think maybe if you kissed me that might help?” I ask shyly, yet it’s bolder than I’ve ever been. I know he knows I like him. How could he not? This though, this is altogether different.
“You want me to kiss you?” His voice is soft. His large hand cups my cheek, and he traces my lips with the pad of his thumb.
“Do you want to kiss me?” My voice is shaky but not from the cold; it�
��s from the adrenaline racing through my veins. I can’t believe I’m here with him, like this.
“More than anything,” he confesses.
The next thing I know, he’s leaning in and pressing his lips to mine. I gasp, surprised that it’s happening, and he slides his tongue past my lips. Slowly, his tongue duels with mine. I grip his shirt and hold on for the ride.
“Collins,” he murmurs, pulling away from the kiss.
“Please, don’t stop,” I beg. I’m aware that I’m begging, but that’s what he does to me. I’ve never been kissed like this before. Like he needs to mold his lips with mine, as if kissing me is the only way he can gain oxygen. It’s a heady feeling, and I want more.
“They’ll know we’re missing.”
My shoulders fall, knowing what that means. My time with him is over. “Yeah,” I reluctantly agree. I know he’s right, but that does not mean that I like It.
“Can you meet me out here later?”
My head pops up to look at him. “Later?”
“Yeah, after my folks come home, and yours are in bed. We could meet out here. If you want.”
“I want.”
“Come here.” He pulls me into him and kisses me again. Just as deeply and just as caring as the one before it. “Text me when you’re ready. I’ll meet you.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” With one more quick kiss to my lips, he takes my hand and leads me out of the camper and back over to my yard. We take a seat on the back deck, just as Caleb comes out of the house.
“Hey, man. I’ve been looking for you.”
“Just getting some air,” Grady says.
“You want to ride with me to take Sara home?”
“Nah, go ahead. I’m going to head home soon. I’m tired.”
“All right, man, I’ll see you tomorrow then. Later, sis,” Caleb says with a wave, and then he’s gone.
Once the door shuts, Grady stands. “Text me, Collins. Even if you change your mind, text me to let me know.”
“Okay.”
“I clutched my phone in my hand that night, waiting for your text. I told myself that I was just going to kiss you some more. I knew it was wrong, sneaking around with you, but I couldn’t seem to help it. I wanted you, Collins.”
My fucking hands are sweating, but I keep pushing on. I have her full attention, and I have no idea how much longer she’ll give me. I need to get this all out.
“I wanted you,” I say again. “I never meant for it to lead to making love to you.” Her beautiful blue eyes mist with tears, but I keep going. “That’s what I did that night, Collins. I made love to you. It wasn’t something I’d ever done before.”
“Yeah, right,” she scoffs. “I know it wasn’t your first time.”
“I’d had sex before you, yes. But I’d never made love. That’s what it was for me. When I finally got your message, I was nervous because we were sneaking around, but I didn’t care.” She’d been all I could think about, the taste of her sweet lips. I was already addicted.
“Hey,” I whisper into the night.
“Hi,” she says shyly.
I quickly open the camper door and usher her inside out of the cold. “I brought some extra blankets out. I didn’t want you to get too cold.”
“I just assumed you would keep me warm.” Her voice is soft and unsure.
I growl and pull her into me. My lips crash down on hers, and she doesn’t hesitate to open for me. Her taste explodes on my tongue, and I know already that she’s different. I know that this night is different from any other night, from any other girl. She pulls at my shirt, and it’s a tight space standing in the little walkway of the camper. Breaking the kiss, I guide her to the bedroom in the back. That’s where I left the extra blankets. I climb onto the bed and pat the empty space beside me. No hesitation, she takes her place right next to me.
“You want me to keep you warm?” I ask, placing a hand on her hip and pulling her as close as I can get her.
“I’ve wanted that for a long time,” she confesses.
“Your brother is my best friend.”
“Should we call him and get his permission?”
“No.” My voice is firm, and so is my decision. I don’t want anyone to break this bubble that we seem to be in tonight.
“I don’t either.”
I cup her face in my hand. “Can I kiss you?”
“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”
Tilting my head, my lips meet hers. My mind is scrambled, and all I see, all I can think about is her and her soft sweet lips. I kiss her like she’s the air I breathe. When she pulls away and sits up, I want to beg her to come back to me. Instead, I watch as she pulls her shirt over her head and tosses it on the camper floor.
“Collins.” I breathe her name as I take in the creamy, flawless skin. Her breasts are spilling out of a light pink lace bra. I can see her hard nipples through the thin fabric. She lies back down beside me, snuggling close. Slowly, so I can gauge her reaction, I trace the swells of her breasts with my index finger. “Beautiful,” I murmur.
Her hand slides under my shirt, and she lifts it. I know what she wants. Sitting up, just as she did a few minutes ago, I reach behind my head, grab the back of my shirt, and lift it over my head. I don’t know where it falls when I release it. All I can think about is getting her skin on mine. When I lie back down, she’s sliding her bra straps over her shoulders.
“Collins, I just wanted to kiss you,” I say lamely. Hell, I need to just keep my mouth shut. I’d be a damn fool to pass up anything that she’s willing to offer.
“Kiss me here,” she says, taking my hand and resting it on her bare breast.
My hands shake as I run the pad of my thumb over her tight nipple. I don’t understand it. Why is she affecting me like this? She releases what sounds like a sigh and a moan mixed together, causing my dick to throb in my pants. Sliding down the bed so I can get a better angle on her, I close my mouth around her nipple. She buries her hands in my hair as I suck, nip, and lick at her as if she’s my last meal. My heart gallops in my chest, so much so that she has to be able to hear it. My fingers tingle from the feel of her soft skin. My senses are on overload, and I can’t seem to control it. This is new, she’s new, but she’s more. I never want to stop this high that I’m on right this minute. Collins is consuming me, tilting my world on its axis. I want more.
Shaking out of my vivid memories, I keep going. “Every experience before you, before that night paled in comparison. It rocked me to my core, scared the living hell out of me, the way my body reacted to yours. The way my heart was hammering in my chest. I was holding you while you slept, thinking about when I could make love to you again. When I got a text message from Caleb asking if I wanted to go to the batting cages the next day.” She wipes at her tears, and I want to pull her into my arms, but I know she’s not ready for that, no matter if I am or not. “I was holding you so close I wasn’t sure where I ended and you began, thinking about doing it again, and then it hit me that Caleb was not just my best friend but your brother. I panicked, Collins. I panicked and ran.” A sob breaks, and I stand to go sit next to her on the couch. Reaching out, I lace her fingers through mine, surprised that she lets me. “I laid there for hours trying to come up with a solution. The only one I could think of was running. I didn’t want to lose my best friend. I didn’t want you fighting with your brother. Our families were close, and it was all crashing in. I couldn’t explain this pull I felt toward you, and that scared me even more. So, I ran. I slid out of that tiny bed and quietly got dressed. I took a picture of you because I knew that leaving was going to destroy anything we might have been able to have. That picture got me through the last three years.”
She’s quiet, her tears silent as they coat her cheeks. I wait, my hand in hers, giving her all the time she needs. Finally, she looks up at me, her blue eyes wet and filled with sadness and pain. “What do you mean, about the picture?”
With my free hand, I reach into
my pocket and unlock my phone. I scroll to the picture I took that night three years ago. The night I broke both of our hearts. I take a long look, even though I no longer have to actually look at it to see her. I’ve studied it so much it’s a permanent memory. “This one.” I hold my phone so she can see it. “Every day for the last three years, I’ve looked at this very picture. I’ve fallen asleep looking at this picture. Anytime something good or hell, even bad, happened I would tell this picture, as if I was telling you. It made no sense because, before that night, we were never close, not really. But that night changed me. It changed us.”
“Grady, I—” She stops, closes her eyes, and sucks in a deep breath. When her eyes open again, they’re still sad. “I don’t know what to think, or what to say. I just… need some time I guess.”
“I know, baby. I’ll give you all the time you need, but I need you to know something. I want you, Collins. I don’t care who knows it. I don’t care how much time you need. I’ll wait for you.”
“How can you say that? It’s been three years. It was one night, and you ignored me after. Three years, Grady,” she says again.
“I know exactly how long it was. I also know that my heart has been yours since that night. Like I said, I can’t explain it, but, Collins, I don’t want to. I just want to prove to you that I can be the man you deserve. We can call Caleb and our parents and tell them what I did. I don’t care. I know I could lose my best friend, but, baby—” I cup her face in my hands. “—you’re worth it. You’re worth that and so much more. All through medical school, I kept my nose in the books. I never went out. I told myself I was doing it not only for Jared, but for you, too. I needed to be a man you would be proud of.”
“You were!” she yells. “Don’t you get that? You were everything.” Her voice breaks on a quiet sob. “I need you to go.”
“Collins, please,” I beg. I’m not above that when it comes to her.
