Remedy

by Kaylee Ryan

  Heading to the kitchen, I grab a granola bar to satisfy my hunger before rushing to the shower. I have plenty of time, but honestly, I can’t wait to go back to him. To spend more time with him, just us. Today is going to be hard. I just hope we can get through it without spilling the beans. I’m not ready for Caleb or anyone else, well, other than Tabby, to know just yet. I want to make sure he’s really in this. Yes, I’ve forgiven him, and he’s given me no reason to think that he’s not being honest. In fact, he’s gone out of his way to make sure I know he is. I just want to keep him all to myself. Since our night together was only ever between us, I feel like I need to keep this, keep him close to my chest, so to speak.

  By the time I’m finished with my shower and ready, it’s only a few minutes after ten. Grabbing my phone, I pace across the living room debating on what I should do. I really want to spend more time with him, and since we’re both riding together, we could go grab a late breakfast or brunch or whatever in the hell you call it. Food. We could get some food. I debate whether or not I should call him. My phone vibrates in my hand, pulling me out of my mental debate. I can’t hide my grin when I see his name on my screen.

  Grady: I miss you already.

  Decision made, I grab my purse and keys and lock up the apartment. I walk down the hall and knock on his door. I shift from one foot to the other while I wait for him to answer. I don’t know why I’m nervous; we’re in this together. When he opens the door, a slow grin tilts his lips.

  “Hey.” He reaches for me. His hand lands on my waist as he tugs me close. “This is a nice surprise.” Bending, he kisses the corner of my mouth.

  “Yeah, I might have missed you, too. A little.” I hold up my thumb and index finger and show him just a little space in between the two.

  “Yeah, I’ll take it.” Both arms wrap around me in a hug. All too soon, he’s pulling away, and with his hand on the small of my back, he leads me into his apartment. As soon as the door is shut, I’m pushed up against it, and his mouth fuses with mine. He kisses me like it’s been years since he’s seen me, not hours. When he angles away, his forehead rests against mine.

  “Don’t you want to know why I’m here?” I ask him.

  “Nope.”

  “What if I’m here to tell you that this is too much and we’re over?”

  He pulls back, cupping my face in his hands. “I’d tell you that I’m going to fight for you, for us. I’m not going to let anything come between us. I’ve been down that road, Collins. It’s not one I care to travel ever again.”

  I swallow hard. “I-I just wanted to know if you were interested in grabbing some food before we went to Caleb’s.”

  “What am I going to do with you?” he asks, kissing me chastely on the lips. “Yes, to food. We have to go somewhere local. We won’t have time to go far.”

  “Yeah, maybe we can, I don’t know… hit a drive-thru or something.”

  “Or we could go wherever you want and not worry about who sees us.”

  “One day.”

  “One day soon, Collins. You’re not a dirty little secret.”

  “I know. Just… come on, Grady, it’s been what, a minute since we agreed to see if whatever this is between us is going to withstand our past?”

  “It’s been longer than a minute, and it will. I’ll make damn sure it does.” He kisses me again, a quick peck on the lips. “Let me grab my phone and keys, and we can go.”

  Fifteen minutes later, we’re sitting outside a small deli not far from my brother’s place. “They’re going to know we rode together, so stopping to grab something to eat is normal, right?”

  Grady chuckles. “Come on, you.” He reaches for the handle and climbs out of his SUV. He meets me on the sidewalk and reaches for my hand. I pull away as if I’ve been burned and a frown mars his gorgeous face that was just seconds ago covered in happiness. “I don’t like it,” he grumbles.

  “I think I’ll get the turkey,” I say, walking toward the deli door. I don’t answer him because what can I say? I’ve forgiven you, but I’m still scared this is a dream, so no one can know about us? Today is going to be a hell of a lot harder than I first thought.

  At the counter, I order my turkey while Grady orders roast beef. I find a small booth in the back corner and slide into my seat. Grady slides in across from me. “Sorry,” he says, handing me my sandwich. “I just hate this, baby. Maybe we should tell him today?”

  “N-no,” I say, and even I can hear the panic in my voice. If that’s not a good indicator, the way my heart is thundering would be a dead giveaway.

  “Collins,” he sighs.

  “Please.”

  He gives me a soft smile. “You’re lucky I love you.”

  I freeze, my sandwich in midair, halfway to my mouth. My mouth moves, but no words come out. I place my sandwich back on my wrapper and still nothing. Did I hear him right?

  Without missing a beat, Grady reaches over the table and places his large hand over mine. “Not exactly the way I wanted to tell you, but I refuse to take it back. I love you, Collins.” He’s looking into my eyes, and I want to crawl across the table and attach myself to him for life, but I don’t. I can’t. I need to process this. He loves me? “Eat, baby.” He smiles. “We’re going to be late.”

  Just like that, the heart-stopping conversation is behind us. I pick up my sandwich and take a bite, but don’t taste anything. I can’t get his words out of my head. The worst part is that I didn’t say it back. I didn’t say it, but I do love him. I love him with everything in me, and I have for years now. I’m just shocked, I guess. I spent our time apart being angry with him, and now he’s back and everything I thought he felt for me is wrong. Now he’s telling me he loves me and… it’s overwhelming.

  “What’s your schedule like next week?” he asks, changing the subject.

  Taking a sip of water, I gather my wits then answer him, “Same old, Monday through Wednesday. Yours?”

  “Tomorrow, I’m off Tuesday then work the rest of the week. Off Saturday work Sunday.”

  “Crazy schedule.”

  “Yeah, but it’s nice, you know? After busting my ass in medical school all these years, I finally get to see patients. Makes all the hard work, all the distance from you worthwhile.”

  “Yeah, you needed to be there.”

  “I did, but hindsight is twenty-twenty. I could have brought you with me. The house we rented, you could have lived there with me.”

  “I would have,” I admit. I would have gladly changed schools to be with him. Sure, Tabby and I had a plan, but plans change, and my best friend would have understood.

  “I couldn’t have asked you to do that. Not after one night. Not to mention, I was a chicken shit. I should have, but I didn’t.” He takes the last bite of his sandwich. I should be eating mine, but instead, I can’t tear my eyes away from his chiseled jaw and the five o’clock shadow he seems to always be sporting.

  He loves me.

  “I’m ready,” I say, wrapping up my half-eaten lunch in the wrapper and placing it on our tray. Grady adds his trash and slides out of the booth, taking our tray to the trash. I follow him to the door he holds open for me. I want to remind him we can’t act this way; we have to just be two friends going in the same place, but I can’t find my words.

  He loves me.

  He pulls onto the street, and I find my voice. “Can you turn right here?” He doesn’t question me, just turns right like I asked. “Left,” I instruct. I continue to give him directions until we come to a deserted parking lot. It’s just before noon, and we have to be at my brother’s soon, but I need to do one thing first. “Park over there.” I point to the back of the building. Once the SUV is parked, I take off my seat belt and turn to face him.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Nothing at all is wrong.” I climb over the console and straddle his lap. My hands cradle his face. “Grady Carmichael, I love you, too,” I whisper. “I’ve loved you for so long, that when you said it, I t
hought maybe I was hearing things. I know it sounds crazy,” I ramble on, “I just… had to process it, but I love you, too.”

  His green eyes are shining brightly. One large hand slides behind my neck as he pulls me into him. His lips hover over mine. “You are the love of my life,” he says before his lips mold with mine. This kiss is soft and slow, and I can feel everything he’s trying to say. Leaning out of the kiss, he keeps me held close. “You can trust this, Collins. Trust my love for you.”

  “Baby steps.” I smile. This sounds crazy, it feels crazy that we’re in this place, both admitting our love for each other. I want to keep this, keep him to myself just for a little longer. I want to enjoy this time with no complications, no drama. All of which will be front and center in our lives as soon as my brother finds out about us.

  “Yeah, we can do that.” With a chaste kiss, I climb off his lap and back into my seat. “They’re going to see right through me,” he says once I’m buckled in.

  “Who?”

  “Caleb and Emily. They’re going to be able to tell how I feel about you. It’s not something I can just hide away.”

  “Come on, it will be like a game, just between us.”

  “I’m going to lose.” He laughs.

  “We’ve got this. I just want some time with you before the drama takes root. He’s not going to be happy, and I want this time with you.”

  “Okay, baby.” He kisses the corner of my mouth before he settles back in his seat and drives us to my brother’s.

  We pull up to Caleb’s, and I have to wipe my sweaty palms on my shorts. Collins wants to keep us a secret and I respect that for now, but honestly, I’m not sure I can do it. She’s like a magnet, and I’m unable to resist her pull. I know that I have to, but fuck, it’s going to be a challenge.

  When I hear the door shut, I realize Collins is already on her way to the door. Grabbing my phone and keys, I hop out and jog to catch up with her. I want to wrap my arm around her, place my hand on the small of her back, pull her to the side, and kiss the hell out of her. Fuck, all of the above, but I can’t.

  “Hey,” Caleb says, answering the door. He looks over at me, then back to his sister.

  “We rode together,” Collins says, reading the question in his eyes. “Grady was leaving his apartment the same time as me and offered for us to drive together.”

  Caleb sticks his hand out for me to shake, and I take it. “Thanks, man.”

  I feel like the world’s biggest asshole for lying to him, but I want my girl to feel comfortable, and she’s right; we are too new. The last thing we need is to be fighting. I’m just going to have to grin and bear it. At least, it’s just the four of us.

  “Hey, guys,” Emily greets us as we enter the living room. “Collins, I have everything set up in the kitchen.”

  “Great. So are you all set?” Collins asks her.

  “I think so.” Her grin is huge.

  I glance over at Caleb, and he’s looking at her like she’s everything that is good in his world. I know that feeling. It’s the same one I get when I look or even think about Collins. I’m trying damn hard to not give her that same look while we’re here. “Where’s this desk?” I ask, pulling his attention away from his fiancée.

  “Spare bedroom. You need me, Em?” Caleb asks.

  “Nope. We’re all set.” She turns to Collins. “I have a ton of books and things you can save for when you get married.”

  “Hold up.” Collins laughs. “You have to have a fiancé to get married. Hell, even a boyfriend. I have neither.”

  I notice she keeps her eyes locked on Emily when she says that. Not able to resist, I pull my phone out of my pocket and fire off a text.

  Me: You have a boyfriend, and the other can be arranged. Love you.

  Sliding my phone back in my pocket, I slap Caleb on the shoulder. “Let’s go do manly things,” I say, causing him to laugh. I follow him down the hall to the spare bedroom, and we get to work on the new desk.

  We have the pieces laid out on the floor. Caleb is reading the directions when my phone vibrates in my pocket.

  Collins: Do I?

  Collins: I love you, too.

  Me: What do you mean… do I?

  Her reply is immediate.

  Collins: Have a boyfriend?

  Me: Collins.

  Me: What would you call what we’re doing?

  Collins: Dating.

  Me: YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND

  Collins: I’m pretty sure I’d know if I did.

  Collins: I can’t recall being asked.

  Me: I can ask you now. In fact. I’ll be right there.

  Collins: No!

  Me: Say it.

  Collins: We have enough lies going on right now.

  Me: We will talk about this later.

  Collins: What if I have plans?

  She’s toying with me on purpose. I want nothing more than to leave this room, march into the kitchen, and kiss the hell out of her.

  Me: My girl’s got jokes.

  Collins: Love you!

  Me: Love you, too.

  Me: This isn’t over.

  Collins: I have no doubt. Get back to work.

  I’m grinning like a fool when I slide my phone back into my pocket. We are definitely going to talk more about this tonight.

  “Who’s got you grinning like you just won the lottery?” Caleb asks.

  “My girlfriend.” I realize my mistake as soon as the words leave my lips. Shit. I knew this was a bad idea.

  “Girlfriend? Since when?”

  “It’s recent.”

  “Someone I know?”

  “Not ready to talk about it. You know, don’t want to jinx it and all that.”

  “You must really like her. I’ve never heard you say you have a girlfriend before.”

  Here goes nothing. I turn to look at him. I wait until he’s holding my stare. “I’m really into her. She’s everything that’s good, and no way do I want to do anything to fuck it up.”

  His eyes widen as he nods his understanding. “Fair enough. Hey, why don’t you bring her to the annual Fourth of July party the ’rents throw?”

  Our parents, being best friends and neighbors, always throw a combined Fourth of July bash. It started years ago. Hell, it’s been going on as long as I can remember. Our houses sit next to each other on one acre lots. A huge tent is set up between the two properties. The Wards have an in-ground pool, while we have a small pond. Swimming, fishing, volleyball nets are put up. We both have hot tubs, Dad and Roger man the grill, while Mom and Monica take care of the sides. It’s a blast, and I realize I’ve missed it the last three years.

  “She has plans with her family,” I lie. Well, not really. Collins does have plans with her family, mine, too. He just doesn’t realize her family is him. What a fucked-up mess this is.

  “Sure, she does.” He laughs. “Why are you hiding her? Being so secretive?”

  “I’m not,” I say, way too defensively. “It’s new, like I said. Well, not so new, we’ve uh, just reconnected.” Son of a bitch, I need to keep my mouth shut.

  “Who is she? From around here? You doing the long-distance thing?” he presses.

  “What’s with the third degree? I thought we had a desk to put together?”

  “I need another wrench, and a beer. Come on.” He stands, and I follow him to the kitchen. I should have stayed there and got my shit in order, a good internal pep talk to shut my big-ass mouth, but Collins is in the kitchen so yeah, I’m following him.

  “How’s it going, ladies?” Caleb asks, kissing first his fiancée and then his little sister, my girlfriend, on top of their heads.

  “Great. I think we’ve been through it all. For all my planning, it’s really not that elaborate.” Emily laughs.

  “As long as you’re happy.” This time he leans over her and kisses her on the lips, upside down.

  It’s wrong because he’s my best friend, but I’m jealous as hell right now. I want to pull Collins into me, kiss her op
enly. Fuck, if I’m honest, I’m ready for it all. The white picket fence, the dog, the bills, the kids, the minivan, whatever she sees for us, I’m ready for it.

  “Oh, guess what?” Caleb hands me a beer, smirking. “This guy,” he points to me, “has a secret girlfriend.”

  I watch Collins closely, and her eyes widen, but otherwise, she keeps her cool. “Come on, man. I told you we’re just reconnecting.” I then turn to Collins. “You good to drive home?” I hold up the beer, showing her, and she nods.

  “Awe, I love it,” Emily coos. “What’s her name?”

  “Yeah, Grady, what’s her name?” Caleb taunts. “Oh, that’s right, she’s a secret.” He turns his attention to Collins. “I tried to get him to bring her to the Fourth bash, but apparently, she has plans with her family.”

  When Collins’s eyes find mine, I shrug and she grins. “Yeah, Grady, you should bring her.”

  I can hear the humor in her voice. “You think so? I mean, she wants to keep things on the down low for a while, just until we see where this is going.” I pause, letting my audience of three soak in my words. It’s time to go in for the kill. “Honestly, I’d bring her. I’m in love with her, and I don’t care who knows it. I’m trying to respect her wishes.”

  Collins chokes on the drink of water she was taking. Emily reaches over and pats her on the back.

  “You’re in love with her?” Caleb asks, surprised.

  I tip the bottle to my lips. “Yep,” I say, popping the p before taking a long drink.

  “No shit?” Caleb comes over and gives me one of those bro hugs, you know one of the lean in, back slap, handshake things that us guys do.

  “No shit.”

  “Have you told her?” Emily asks with hearts in her eyes. She’s all about the love connection with their upcoming nuptials.