A Sky for Us Alone

by Kristin Russell

  Chapter 16

  THE DARK WALK HOME by myself felt too quiet, and I quickened my pace, trying not to think about where Tommy might be. When I finally reached the light of our porch, I saw that some of Jacob’s blood was still on my hands, and I wiped them on an old bag of sprouted seed.

  “How was the party?” Mama asked when I walked inside. The TV was too loud for my nerves.

  “Hang on.” I walked to the sink and washed my hands, then I checked my clothes to make sure there wasn’t anything she would notice.

  “Tennessee sure is pretty,” she said when I sat on the couch.

  I reached for the remote to turn down the volume. “She is,” I said. “And she’s really smart.”

  “Well, you say that like it’s a bad thing.”

  “No, it’s a great thing. Just not sure I’m up to snuff, as you like to say.”

  “Don’t talk like that. Of course you are. You met her daddy yet?”

  “Not yet. I guess that will happen sometime soon. It might be time for me to go by the mines, anyway.”

  “That’s a good attitude,” she said. “I know you’ve never wanted to be a miner, but it doesn’t have to be forever. Just till something else comes along.”

  I couldn’t tell her that it wasn’t a job I was looking for.

  Mama rested her head against the back of the chair and closed her eyes. I looked at the orange bottle beside her.

  “Jacob left town for a while,” I said.

  “What about baby Suzy?” She yawned.

  “She’ll be fine with Clarice, I guess. She’ll have to be.” I stood up and turned off the kitchen light and then spread myself out on the couch beside her. I lay there wondering where Jacob and Ryan had gone and if they weren’t going to answer my questions about Nate, who could.

  I jumped when the front door swung open and banged against the wood paneling. The morning light flooded in around Daddy. Mama fumbled with the handle of her chair.

  “What time is it?” Mama asked.

  “Past the time respectable people are awake.” He closed the door and stood over the two of us, hooked his thumbs in his belt loops, and watched me clear the sleep out of my eyes.

  “I’ll make coffee,” Mama said, and got the recliner down.

  “Looks like you both need it,” Daddy said. He didn’t help her up.

  Mama walked to the counter and peeled the lid off the coffee can.

  “Heard about last night,” Daddy said to me.

  “You mean the party? How?”

  “What are you two talking about?” Mama said from the kitchen. I didn’t want her to know about Tommy and Jacob or anything else that could make her want to take even more pills.

  “Let’s go outside for a minute,” I told Daddy.

  “We can talk right here. No need to keep secrets. I don’t know what you’re messing with, boy. But I’d like to think you know better.”

  “I didn’t do anything!” I yelled at him. “All I know is that Jacob and Ryan took off. Just like I told you last night, Mama.” I lowered my voice again.

  Confusion spread over Mama’s face at the coffee maker. Daddy came toward me and grabbed me off the couch by the neck of my shirt.

  “That’s not what I heard,” he said.

  “What is going on here? Don’t act like I can’t hear both of you.” Mama spilled coffee grounds all over the floor.

  “Everything is fine,” I said. “There’s no need to worry.”

  She looked at Daddy, then back at me. “One of you answer me right now.” The empty scoop shook in her hand.

  I stared Daddy in the eye. He didn’t have to deal with her every day the way I did. He’d given up trying long before Nate died.

  “It’s out of my hands,” he said. “You’re gonna do whatever the hell you want to, I can see that. But I’ll tell you this: if you hear from Jacob, you best tell him to stay wherever he is. He should have minded his own and kept his head down. Same goes for you, now.” He reached into his wallet and took out two twenties, laid them on the table, and walked out the door.

  Mama took a few steps toward me, balancing with her hand along the counter. “What was he talking about?” she asked.

  I took the can and the scoop from her hands and filled the coffee filter. “Jacob had a little trouble with Tommy at the party. Nothing too serious, but that’s why Ryan thought it’d be best for them to lay low for a spell.”

  “Was he hurt?”

  “Not bad, no.”

  “Did Tommy try to hurt you?”

  “No. Just wants to scare everyone, that’s all.”

  “You can’t tell me that after everything. I’m not an idiot. Why is everyone trying to keep me in the dark?” She leaned against the counter like she might slip into the ground otherwise.

  “I’m not, Mama. Just doing the best I can. Like you.”

  “Not one bit of this makes sense to me. I don’t know when the world went upside down and why no one else seems to notice.”

  “I noticed. I’m trying to set it the right way up best I know how.”

  She looked out over the sink window. “You know I wouldn’t make it if anything happened to you. I’m not sure I can bear it as it is.”

  And that’s why I couldn’t tell her the truth. “Nothing is going to happen to me,” I said. I gave her the answer she wanted. “I need to get some work done. Maybe Betsy could come over for a while.”

  She shook her head. “Think I need to rest after all that,” she said. “Can’t seem to catch up on it.”

  Our fake-wood-paneled walls closed tight around me, and her stale cigarette air made it too hard to breathe. I hurried to my room and grabbed the saw and box of blades.

  Chapter 17

  THE BLUE PLASTIC TARP still covered the sawhorse where Jacob and I last left it. The only good thing about the summer drought was that I didn’t have to worry about wood getting wet. Otherwise I crammed as much as possible into the shed. It would be nice to have a garage someday so I could keep several projects going at once. Better yet, a workshop. I took the padlock off the shed and found the electric cord. After I plugged it in at the porch outlet, I put on my goggles and gloves.

  The new blade sailed through the plank of cherry. It would have made Nate happy to see me using his present. A clean-edged plank fell to the ground when I sliced through to the other side. The fight at the party tugged at the back of my mind, but the sound of the saw humming through wood pushed it far enough that I could mostly ignore it. Making something real and solid felt good. I’d do it every day, but people in Strickland didn’t care about paying for the time it took to make nice things anymore. I figured if you’re going to sit at the same table for most of your life, it should look as good as it is strong. I’d been reading about some techniques some guys were using to season wood with blowtorches and then varnish. It made the surface dark and shiny, but left the grain visible everywhere else. It was on my list of things to try when I had more space and equipment to experiment.

  When I finished the next cut, I saw Red standing only a few feet away. “You can’t sneak up like that,” I said, then turned off the saw and slid my goggles off.

  “Didn’t know the best time to tell you I was here, was scared I’d mess you up,” he said. “How is it?”

  “A beast. Want to try?”

  “You know I’m no good at stuff like that,” he said.

  “That can change. Heard anything from Jacob?”

  “No. Was about to ask you the same.”

  “God, it’s hot,” I said. Sweat soaked my shirt. “Come over here to the shade.” I climbed up the side of the porch and cleared some boxes off a couple of chairs. Red sat in the one with the hole in the bottom before I could offer the other. “He ever say anything to you about Nate?”

  Red looked out over Kinley Road. “What kinds of things?”

  “Hang on,” I said, and went inside. I grabbed Nate’s notebook, his phone, and two glasses of ice water for us.

  Red sat and li
stened to me and held the glass against his neck when he wasn’t drinking from it.

  “Does this make any sense to you? Know anything about Woodvale?”

  “It’s right outside of Lexington, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, but that’s not what I mean. Ever heard either one of them mention it?”

  “No, I don’t think so.” He stared into his glass and fished out a mosquito.

  “Why do I get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me?”

  He took a deep breath and scratched the back of his head. “Did I tell you I’m skipping next year?”

  “Of school? Senior year?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “Mama blew through everything Daddy left, then bought a bunch of shit off QVC she never uses. Credit cards are maxed. I need to start working.”

  “The mine?”

  He nodded.

  “It can’t wait one more year?”

  “No. Not sure I’d graduate anyway.”

  “Does Jacob know?”

  “Haven’t had a chance to tell him. He’s been gone so much taking care of the baby.”

  I could see pushing Red for answers wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Telling me about the mine was his way of saying that he couldn’t risk poking at any questions, same as Daddy. Still, Red helped me without knowing it.

  “I should clean up,” I said. “I’ve got an errand to run.”

  “Oh, all right. Maybe we could take some beer up to the Crag later or something?”

  “Sure. I’ll text ya when I have time.”

  Chapter 18

  I LOCKED THE SAW and the rest of my things in the shed and ran inside to grab Mama’s keys.

  “Where you going?” she said from the recliner when she heard them jangle in my hand.

  “See a friend,” I said, and reached for the door.

  “You’re making me real anxious.” She put out her cigarette. “Especially after last night.”

  “Your nerves are no fault of mine,” I said.

  She turned her head toward me, away from the TV. “I have half a mind to take those from you right now,” she said, pointing to the keys, then slowly turned back to her game show, resting her chin in her hand. “But if you’re going near town, at least grab me some smokes.”

  I wasn’t, and left without saying anything else to her. I rolled down the windows before starting the car and then held my hand in the breeze while I drove. Clarice’s parents lived a few miles past Baxter Creek, in Fulton Holler. They were tucked back in a grove of old hackberries that threatened to fall on their trailer with the next spring’s storms. I wiped my face with a bandanna I’d left on the passenger seat before walking to their front door.

  Clarice looked worn and frazzled when she opened the door, balancing baby Suzy on her hip. She was a lot thinner than she’d ever been, and I guess maybe that was what made her look so much older; her shorts hung loose around her hips. “I was just about to feed her,” she said loudly over Suzy’s crying. “Come on in.”

  “Thanks, I won’t be long,” I said.

  She pointed for me to sit in one of the chairs at their plywood kitchen table, and opened a jar of green baby food. Once she’d strapped Suzy into the high chair, she fed her the mushy stuff. It smelled like old peas mixed with Beanie Weenies.

  “I can guess why you’re here,” she said. “Krystal Travis told me about Tommy showing up last night.”

  “Yeah, it was bad. Do you know where Jacob and Ryan went?”

  She rolled her eyes at me and wiped Suzy’s mouth with the back of her hand. “Fat chance of that. Asshole hasn’t talked to me in over two months.”

  “What? How’s he seen the baby then?” I asked.

  The spoon dangled in her hand when she looked at me, wide-eyed, like I was daft. “He doesn’t see her,” she said.

  “Got it. Sorry. I’m just confused because it’s not what he told the rest of us.”

  “Well, he’s a liar,” she said. “I learned it the hard way. I won’t let her go through the same with him.” She nodded at Suzy reaching for the spoon, and then gave her another bite of mush. “The only thing Jacob’s good for is a handful of cash he leaves for us every once in a while under the mat, and I can’t even count on him for that.”

  “Think I’m starting to get the picture,” I said, so many other questions bubbling up in the back of my brain. “Thanks, and I’m sorry to bring it all up.”

  “That’s okay. I’m kind of relieved you didn’t know. Means you’re not as much of a jerk as he is.”

  I wondered how much Nate had known about Jacob. “I’ll see myself out,” I said. “Mind letting me know if you hear from him?”

  “Sure,” she said. “But I wouldn’t count on that happening.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Seems to be the running standard lately.”

  Chapter 19

  THE SUN WAS ALMOST down when I left Clarice’s. I thought of all the times in the past couple of months that Jacob said he had to leave when we were hanging out, or couldn’t make it at all, because of the baby, and I wondered where he’d really gone off to instead. It couldn’t have been all of those places written in Nate’s pages. I never went more than three or four days without seeing him.

  After I started the engine, I told myself I was too close to Tennessee’s to go home without trying to see her, though I didn’t really need an excuse for wanting that. I parked just at the head of Baxter Creek, and once I reached their trailer, walked around to the back.

  The light of a TV flickered from a window, and where the polka-dotted curtains parted, I saw a bookcase, its shelves full of books and a few stuffed animals. It had to be Tennessee’s room. There was a pile of half-rotted wooden crates and old firewood against the side of the trailer, so I stacked them together and climbed high enough to peer closer through the window. Omie’s yellow hair stuck out in all directions over the edge of a sheet on the bed. Tennessee blurred past the window, and I pawed at the screen. I felt the glass on the other side, and realized she couldn’t hear me. I didn’t want to yell, so I tapped my knuckles softly against the pane. She came to the window but looked straight over my head and didn’t see me. I knocked again, a little louder. She jumped back and covered her mouth when she saw me. Then she tilted her head to the side, and a little smile appeared on her face.

  She lifted the glass separating us, leaned closer, and whispered, “What are you doing?”

  “Just wanted to see you.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. I mean, as much as it can be, anyway.”

  She moved her head, and the lamp behind her glowed bright in my eyes, making it hard for me to read the look on her face. Then she turned to the bed to make sure Omie was still asleep. “Only for a minute,” she said, lifting the screen.

  I helped her through the window frame and onto the stack of crates. Once she was on the other side, she turned and pulled the screen down, leaving it open an inch at the bottom. “It sticks sometimes,” she said.

  After I hopped from the pile of wood to the ground, I reached my arms out to her. She took my hands and jumped.

  “It’s nice to see you,” she said after she landed. “I’ve been a little worried since last night.”

  “You don’t need to worry about me, you’ve got enough on your mind already. I was scared you’d be mad that I showed up before getting word to you.”

  “Well, you shouldn’t make a habit of it, but now that you’re here . . .” A thought flashed in her eyes. “There’s something I want to show you. We have to hurry, though; I don’t want to get too far away in case Omie wakes up.” She took off toward the bushes and I followed at her heels. There was a small opening that she pushed wider, and then a narrow path on the other side. The moon was just bright enough for us to see the outline of things, and then only a few feet ahead of us. The path dipped down alongside the creek and then brought us up again to higher ground. Pine trees towering over us blocked the light, and Tennessee reached for my hand in the dar
kness. The bank steepened, and the creek below trickled softly. It was hard to hear the water at all, as it was near dried up. Tennessee started walking so quickly that we were almost running.

  “Okay back there?” she asked.

  “Yeah, great.” I panted a little to keep up with her.

  “Only a little bit farther. Oh good, there it is.” A large shadow loomed in front of us. There was just enough light for me to catch a glint in Tennessee’s eye when she smiled, but I still couldn’t tell what it was that she wanted me to see until we got closer.

  “It’s definitely not perfect, so don’t judge it too harshly,” she said.

  “Did you make this?” I asked, looking at the tent, or more like fort—fabric held together and lifted by a large wooden stake in the middle, pieces of broken crates, and the maple trunk behind as an anchor. It reminded me of the teepee Nathaniel and I made when we were little, where we spent as many nights as we could get away with.

  “I sewed all the fabric together, and then we collected as much strong wood as we could find. It’s definitely hodgepodge, but we like coming here. It’s ours.”

  “I’m impressed,” I said. “And a little jealous.” I loved seeing how proud she was of what she’d made.

  “Go on and take a quick look inside,” she said, and parted a slit in the tarp.

  I sat next to her on a quilt covering the plastic bottom and she threw me a pillow, then reached toward the back corner and clicked on a flashlight. There was a big jug of water, some books, and an unopened bag of chips together in a neat pile. Tennessee poured some water into a cup, took a sip, and then passed it to me. I wondered about the time and her hurry earlier, but then seeing her face in the glow of the flashlight, my pulse quickened, and all I could think about was how I could get even closer to her.

  My hand traveled to the top of hers and I felt her fingers flicker under mine, not like she was trying to get away, but maybe that she was a little excited too. I scooted nearer and reached for her shoulder, scared each move might send her running, but she stayed where she was this time, even seemed to lean toward me a little. I followed the line of her neck with my fingers, moving my hand up into her hair. Whatever happened, I wouldn’t let the moment get away from me this time. Before I could do anything else, she pulled my face toward hers.