A Sky for Us Alone

by Kristin Russell

  That made her smile just enough to give me some hope that she wasn’t completely disgusted with me. I waited for her in my room, bouncing a ball against the top of the bunk. My door opened, and I sat up, excited to kiss her again.

  “Did you talk to them?” Mama asked, and I jumped.

  “About what?”

  “They need to go home.”

  I wanted to scream at her that she couldn’t take away the one thing that made me feel good, especially with how much stress she was causing everyone. “I thought you’d find it in your heart to let them stay a little longer.”

  “This has nothing to do with my heart. More to do with the laundry I did today.” She nodded at my closet.

  I swallowed hard.

  She shook her head and closed her eyes. “I told you—not in my house. No room for grandbabies you can’t take care of.”

  My face burned more with frustration than embarrassment. “That wasn’t what you think it was.”

  “Don’t. I have to look out for my own, and you’re making that mighty difficult these days.”

  “Why don’t you ever take notice of the good things I do? I’d say I’m doing a pretty fine job of keeping shit together around here. And I care about them. They’re almost like family to me now.”

  She glared into my eyes. “Listen to me good. They ain’t your blood, they ain’t your kin. You might think you already love this girl, but, Harlowe, there will be others. You’re young and you don’t know better. That’s all.” She reached for my shoulder.

  I slapped her hand away. “You can’t tell me what to feel!”

  “If you want to break your own heart open, there’s nothing I can do to stop you from doing it. Their daddy’s out of the hospital now. Coming for them tomorrow.”

  “You called him?”

  “Didn’t have to. Suppose your own daddy took care of that.”

  “You have no idea what that man is like or what he might do to them.”

  “It’s none of my business. Not yours, either.”

  “It’s my business who I care about! Have you noticed I seem to be the only one you have left around here?”

  “You expect me to treat you like a grown-up when you talk that way? Better get your head on straight real quick or you can find somewhere else to live.” It was the hardest punch she could throw and she turned to leave before I could even answer. Tennessee stood behind her in the doorframe.

  “Dad’s coming for us tomorrow?”

  Mama nodded. “He called today while y’all were gone.”

  “I guess that’s best for everyone,” Tennessee said, and looked back and forth between Mama and me, reading what had been said before she appeared.

  “Things will settle,” Mama said. “But right now, I’m worn out. You two leave the door open, if you’re going to visit any. I’ll see you both in the morning.”

  “Sorry about that,” I said to Tennessee after Mama went to her bedroom.

  “No, I’m sorry I put you in a tough spot with her. It won’t help if you keep arguing with what she says, you know,” Tennessee said. “We’ll just both have to find time when we can meet together at Mama Draughn’s.”

  “I’ll meet you wherever you say, as much as you’ll let me. You’d think Mama could see how much better you are for me than anything else around here.”

  “You know she’s just scared and lonely, don’t you?”

  I looked into her eyes and took a deep breath. “Yeah. But everyone feels that way. Promise you’ll come back here straightaway if you ever think he’s going to hurt either of you.”

  She nodded. “We’ll be okay. I watched Mama learn how to keep him calm. I can do the same, but not forever.”

  “I gotta tell you something,” I said. “I wasn’t sure when it would be the right time, and I still don’t know if this is it, but it’s starting to feel like a lie if I don’t say something soon.”

  Her eyes widened and she set her jaw, waiting to hear what I was going to say.

  “I didn’t do anything bad.” I rushed my words to ease her worry. “Thing is, I met your daddy before the other night. Well, kind of met him.” And I told her about what happened at the station.

  She squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh God,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”

  “He didn’t see me when they took him out of your house, but once he comes here to get you, I’d be surprised if he doesn’t put it all together.”

  “I’ll take care of it,” she said.

  “How?”

  “I don’t know, but what other choice do I have? I just need to keep things steady enough with him for me to graduate from school, and then I can take Omie and go somewhere else. That’s the game I have to play right now. You’ve already seen what he’s like. And that’s not even the worst of it.”

  “Please don’t talk about leaving.”

  “We have much bigger things to worry about,” she said. “I hate it, but neither one of us can pretend our lives are simple.”

  “Take care of Omie and yourself. You’re right, that’s all you can do, and I know that already feels like more than you can handle.”

  She raked her fingers through her hair like she wanted to pull it all out. “What a freaking mess. Do you ever wish some of your family would disappear?”

  “Yeah, seems like both of us lost the ones we needed most.”

  “Time for bed!” Mama yelled at us from her room.

  “Do you think she heard what we said?” Tennessee whispered.

  “No.” I shook my head.

  We heard Mama’s door open, and she leaned across the hall. “Now,” she said.

  “We’re not done talking,” I told her.

  “Doesn’t matter. Time for sleep.”

  I knew she hated that she couldn’t control what the two of us said and thought, and that she felt I was the last thing she was trying to keep from slipping through her fingers. I also knew that if I didn’t get away from her right then, I might say some things that none of us would recover from.

  “We’ll talk about everything tomorrow when we have more time at Mama Draughn’s,” I told Tennessee but didn’t look at Mama. “Would you be okay here if I stepped out for a minute? I need to get some air.”

  “Where are you going?” Mama said.

  “He’s just got summer fever,” Tennessee said. “We’ll be fine. I need to get some good sleep before tomorrow.”

  “Thanks,” I said, “I got my phone if either of you need me,” and walked between them and out the door before Mama could argue.

  Chapter 27

  I WANTED TO PUNCH something, but instead of using my fists, I walked as fast as I could away from our trailer and everything that had just been said. Tennessee was the one thing I looked forward to. If she moved away, everything else would be unbearable. I couldn’t move fast enough to get rid of the frustration that had built up inside of me. I was almost running down Kinley Road when I heard a voice yell, “Lowe!” and I looked down into the field where it came from.

  “Over here!” Red called.

  “What are you doing?” I asked once I reached him through the thick weeds.

  “I don’t know. Just needed to get out of the house. Mama has the quilting bee over. This seemed as good a place as any.” He held up his mini cooler.

  I swatted the mosquitoes and aphids hitting my face. “Come on,” I said. “We can do better than this.”

  “I’m game.” He made sure the cooler was closed. “Lead the way.”

  “You got liquor in there? Otherwise I might need to go find some right now.”

  “Yep. Shine. Bourbon too.”

  “Were you planning on meeting someone else?”

  He kicked the road. “Josilyn said she would come. But that was hours ago.”

  “You don’t need her,” I said. “Glad I found you. I’m feeling restless myself.”

  “It’s been too quiet with Jacob gone, and you always off with that new girl. Heard anything from him yet? I sent him some messages
but got nothing back.”

  “Nope,” I said. “But I’m not giving up. If you talk to him, you can tell him that.”

  “I thought he’d be back by now. I’m sure Tommy’s long since moved on to something else, anyway.”

  “If neither of us hears soon, we need to find him. Or at least I do.”

  “I won’t be going anywhere in the next week except to work,” Red said.

  “Shhh!” I heard voices behind us and clicked off the flashlight. We weren’t too far up the trail, and could still see Kinley Road from where we were.

  “You see that?” one of the voices below us said. A cell phone light glowed in our direction.

  “Think you’re imagining things,” the other voice answered. “You have to pull it together quick, you almost already fucked things up beyond repair.”

  There was no mistaking Amos’s hoarse but high-pitched voice. I wished Red would stop breathing so loud, but then I realized it was my own breath I heard, and slowed it, hoping it would do the same for my racing pulse.

  “Is that why you wanted me to meet you? There won’t be any more problems. There wasn’t one in the first place. Stupid kid called the ambulance. I was fine.” Bob Moore’s voice wasn’t one I wanted to hear again, and now it was even more loaded than the first time he’d spoken.

  “That’s not what the report said. You don’t get high on my goods or my time. I’m taking you off the mine and putting you on clinic runs. But if you get busted driving and using, I won’t bail you out,” Amos said.

  “Shit,” Red whispered. “Let’s go.”

  I motioned for him to stay put and quiet. They were too close. Even if we ran and got away, Amos would see who we were and know what all we’d heard.

  “I’m better off at the mine than driving with this leg,” Moore said.

  “Nah, there’s less chance of you getting pulled over if you drive slow. I need someone now, and it’s you.”

  “What about Tommy?”

  Amos laughed. “You argue with me one more time, and I’ll send you right back to Chatham, but we know they won’t have you anymore. Only thing my family runs is business, especially after that mess in Woodvale. You begged me for a foot in the door. So far, the only thing you’ve brought in for me is trouble.”

  “Mr. Prater, we made a deal before I came that I’d be above ground until you taught me the books, and then I’d take them over.”

  “That’s the last word from you,” Amos said, and must have gripped Moore’s throat because the most pitiful sound came from it, muffled and strained. “Understand? One more and I’ll do your other leg in, give it to my dogs, and leave the rest of you on Kinley for varmint.”

  A squeak escaped Moore’s throat and we heard the sound of leaves slipping under his feet.

  “I asked if you understand, damn it,” Amos said.

  “Yes.” Moore barely got the word out.

  Neither one of us breathed while their feet rustled and then padded away. It was hard to tell which direction they were going, and for a second I feared they were coming toward us. Red shook so hard, he lost his footing and gasped before he found balance again. I closed my eyes and prayed they hadn’t heard the sound. Soon their steps faded, but neither Red nor I moved until the trail was silent again and there was no doubt they were gone. Then Red’s breath came out in a whimper followed by a flood of tears.

  “It’s all right, they’re gone,” I said, and put my hand on his shoulder.

  He opened the cooler and pulled the cork off the bourbon, took a long draw, and then handed me the bottle. The sting in my throat couldn’t slow the questions firing fast in my mind. Amos had said something about Woodvale and Tommy. Nate must have found out about their pill run schedule, and for some reason told Jacob about it.

  Red grabbed the bottle from my hand and drank again. “Clinics,” he said. “They were talking about pills, I guess?”

  “Yeah, that’s what I took it to mean,” I said. “Have you been in the office at the mines yet?”

  “No, they don’t let just anyone in there. You have to have a special badge, I think.”

  “Amos is like the yellow boy. Poisons everything.”

  “Huh?” Red said.

  “Never mind. I guess we can head on now.”

  We didn’t talk on our way out. There was a feeling that Amos or Moore could reappear any second, or someone else we weren’t expecting. At the end of the trail, we each turned to go in opposite directions.

  Except for the floodlights on the outside of our trailer, everything was dark when I got home. I was still a little buzzed from the bourbon, but sober enough to be mindful of my noise and footing. Tennessee and Omie were asleep on the couch, her arm draped over him, keeping him close. I envied that he never had to fear her leaving him the way I did. I knelt on the floor beside her so I could see her face better. Part of me wanted to wake her up and tell her everything I’d heard, but that would only be to unburden myself and wouldn’t help her at all. Instead, I promised that I’d do everything I could to keep any harm from coming to her or Omie, no matter what it took. When I went to my room, I left the door open for her, just in case.

  Chapter 28

  MAMA WALKED THROUGH MY open door in the morning and said, “Thought you’d want to have breakfast with them before they leave.”

  My thoughts still couldn’t catch up from all I’d heard the night before. Knowing that Tennessee was going home that day only made everything more frustrating. The smell of food came from the kitchen, and the sound of Tennessee’s and Omie’s voices singing together. I put on a shirt and jeans and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

  “Everything okay last night?” Tennessee whispered when I sat down beside her.

  My stomach turned. “I’ll tell you about it later. Did you get some sleep?”

  “Not as much as I should have, but some.”

  Mama took biscuits out of the oven and then set one of the jars of pie filling on the table beside them.

  “We going fishing today?” Omie asked after he took a big bite and left blueberry smears all over his face.

  I saw that the look on Tennessee’s face already said No and guessed she and Moore had decided on a pickup time. “Not today,” I said, to give her a little break on being the bad guy. “But like I promised, I’ll take you again real soon. Maybe Gary has an even bigger brother, you never know.”

  “Whoa,” Omie said, and looked a little scared.

  I reached for Tennessee’s hand under the table, and she squeezed my fingers.

  “Aren’t we glad Harlowe showed up that day to welcome us with Mama Draughn’s pie, Omie?”

  “Yeah! And took us to Mr. Draughn’s too!”

  “You going to eat, Harlowe?” Mama asked, sounding a little annoyed with all the talk about the Draughns. “I made those from scratch.”

  “Of course,” I said. “Can’t remember the last time you cooked biscuits.” I didn’t have an appetite, but wanted to keep the mood as light as possible for everyone at the table.

  There was a knock on the door and we all turned toward it, even Omie. Mama wiped her mouth and went to answer.

  “Daddy!” Omie called when Moore walked into the room, leaning on a cane that seemed to beg more sympathy than use. There were three purple marks on his neck and I knew they were from Amos the night before. Those and the scar on his face must have been what made Mama take a step back right after she’d let him in.

  Omie got up from the table and ran into his daddy’s arms. Tennessee looked me in the eyes, inhaled deep, and walked over to join them. Still hugging Omie, Moore took Tennessee’s hand and pulled her closer to him. My body tightened watching him touch them. I wished he’d leave us all alone. He hadn’t seen me yet, but I figured it’d be better just to get it over with, so I walked over to them and stuck out my hand to introduce myself. The smile on his face slid right off and I knew he recognized me from that day at the gas pump. His jaw muscles tightened beneath his skin and the scar turned white a
gainst the red of his face.

  Tennessee cleared her throat and said, “Dad, this is Harlowe.” Only then did he take my hand, but he wouldn’t shake it. He clasped it once and dropped it just as quick.

  “Thanks for your hospitality to my children,” Moore said to Mama, looking away from me.

  “It was no bother. I’m glad to see you’re back to health.”

  “Oh, it was more a misunderstanding than anything,” Moore said.

  I looked at Mama, thinking they shared more in common than she cared to admit.

  Tennessee ran her hands along her arms like she was chilled, even though sweat shone on all our faces. Omie was the only one who didn’t seem to feel the friction in the room. He stood on top of his daddy’s good foot, holding his hand. I watched Moore’s eyes narrow and his mouth tighten a little like he might push Omie off his shoe. He caught my look and forced a cold smile. I could tell that he could only hold the polite act a little longer, just enough to get them back out the door.

  “Well,” he said, “thanks again for your thoughts and care. I told the doctor it was just stomach troubles, but these days they want to milk you for every penny.” He turned from Mama to stare daggers at me again.

  “Good thing for the miners’ insurance, right?” I couldn’t stop myself from saying. The way he looked, acted, talked—it was so clear to me that there was nothing in him but spite. I wanted to scream right there that I knew what he was doing with Amos, and if he cared about Tennessee and Omie at all, he’d let them stay with us. Even though our home wasn’t without its dangers, I felt I could take better care of them than Moore ever could.

  “True, it’s a mighty good thing,” he finally answered me. “Don’t know what any of us standing here would do without it.”

  Mama narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. I could tell she’d also heard the poison in his voice. “The Lord sends plenty of lessons our way, doesn’t he? Just a matter of listening. These two are a joy to have around. Special children you have,” she said.

  “And don’t I know it. Their mother and me used to say they might be the only things we ever did right. I’m real glad we got this whole mess behind us, now. Not that I blame you, son. I know you were only trying to do the right thing.” His eyes never blinked whenever he fixed them on me. They said: Watch out. I hurt you once, and I’ll do it again, as clear as if he’d said the words out loud. I held my breath and imagined pushing him out the door. Then I looked over at Tennessee. Her eyes were so tired but resolved. I didn’t want to make it harder for her to manage him. She took Omie’s hand and helped him off Moore’s foot, a sign that they were about to leave. My heart sickened.