Mercy

by Debra Anastasia

  “Ms. Stiles, glad I’m still here. Can I walk you through your new system?”

  I was pretty sure my landlord had been in the military, just based on how formal he was. After I unlocked my front door, I got a lesson on my new alarm. He’d written down all the instructions and passcodes. He told me to expect a few mistakes, and that he was totally okay with me accidently setting it off from time to time while I adjusted. The window in my bedroom was new. I was guaranteed that he’d had my place cleaned and that there shouldn’t be any glass left. It took me reassuring him a few times before I could actually close the door behind him and set the alarm. It reminded me of the one we had in the bar, and it didn’t intimidate me too much. My blinds were all secured. As the sun started to set, I was back in my place. Alone. I knew I wanted to get my shower over with first. I listened hard over the spray for any off noises. I didn’t let my hair conditioner have its normal amount of time to steep, but when I was wrapped in my towel, I felt proud of myself.

  I chose comfortable workout clothes for my pajamas in case there was another brick. Henry texted me a few times, offering to FaceTime, but I let her know I was okay.

  My claw machine app was down for maintenance and that made me sad. I was hoping it would take my mind off worrying about bricks and thinking about Nix. I put my TV on. I was restless. It was usually the time I was at work. Now I would just wait the night out. Alone. And a little bit afraid. Okay, a lot afraid.

  ~Fenix~

  The whores recognized us. The one called Helena pasted a professional smile on her face. The one that called herself Debra started making fart jokes. Animal and I showed no emotion.

  “I remember you, gentlemen. The one in the hood and his friend. You didn’t pick us then, but it looks like you found us now.” Helena inched backwards in her tall heels to the second exit. She grabbed Debra by the upper arm and started pulling her along.

  I had to respect that they at least seemed to care about each other. Helena wasn’t tossing Debra to the proverbial wolves just to save herself.

  “You boys can get the repeat offender price, if you want.” Debra wanted to deal.

  Helena had situational awareness. We were bad news on what was working as their front steps right now. It was early in their night. The bathroom was a ghost town. These were some hard up whores.

  Animal gave them a smile. He was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. Helena wouldn’t crack as quickly as…

  I grabbed Debra around her throat. “Where’s my sister, Ember?”

  Her eyes went wide. “Helena?”

  There were fear and rasp in her voice.

  Animal piped up, “Excuse my friend. He’s got a new girlfriend so he’s immune to your substantial charms. Bones, maybe let the woman breathe?”

  I couldn’t see her lip color through the thick lip-gloss, but her eyes were starting to bug out. I let go. I could see my fingerprints on her pale skin. I regretted it and stepped backwards. When I did, a phone clattered to the tile floor. It had a sparkly case. I reached down and snatched it. I pressed it and pounded in my sister’s lock code. I knew everything I needed to about her. Her wallpaper was a picture of her and two guys about her age. She had her hair streaked with light purple in the picture.

  “Where’d you get this?” I advanced on Debra.

  Her voice was graveled. “I bought it. Fair and square. From a teenager. She wanted money.”

  It was clear the hookers weren’t hiding Ember in the men’s room.

  Helena snapped her fingers in my direction. “Listen. She was with two friends. They were trying to get scalped tickets to the MusicFestStock. That’s what I heard them talking about. The girl, your sister? She was safe, but seemed like she was sneaking around with those boys. Just an observation. If I were you, I’d look over on 19th Street by the Ticket Tutor box office.”

  Debra inched further from me, looking at my hands like they were poisonous snakes.

  Maybe I was more like my father than I let myself acknowledge. I’d put my hands on this woman without an ounce of regret. I shuffled backwards and let Animal take the lead.

  He’d reached into his pocket and pulled out two hundreds. “Can we take this phone?”

  Debra nodded and took the cash. I pocketed Ember’s phone.

  Helena stepped next to her friend and put her maple-scented arm around the woman. “You okay, Deb?”

  Her kindness made me feel even worse. I put my fist to my mouth.

  Debra touched her neck. “I’ve had worse.”

  I closed my eyes. My mother had said the same so many times after my father was done with her. I was a garbage person right now.

  A man walked into the bathroom. I turned and pushed my hood back a little. He narrowed his eyes at the scene. One man holding money, the women dressed like they were in a men’s room. He left without doing anything, but our time was limited.

  Animal thanked the ladies. I pulled up Ember’s latest calls. Finn Vespers and Jet Livid. I wasn’t able to run their backgrounds because Animal was clicking his tongue. We jogged back to the vehicle. Animal drove to the address Helena had suggested.

  “We got us one missing sister. And she looks like she’s not under duress.” Animal pointed at a line of teenagers in various stages of boredom and excitement. There were tents set up and clusters of kids in canvas chairs playing with gaming systems. I rolled down the window a crack and I could hear three different songs playing at once. Ember was tall, thin, and gorgeous. Her long brown hair had highlights of lavender—just like her picture on her phone.

  “Let’s park and see what we’ve got.” I cracked my knuckles. “What the hell is this they’re waiting for?”

  Animal hummed a little tune, obviously relieved that our mission had come to a happy conclusion. I was already onto the next hurdle, which was Ember selling her phone to hookers on a corner and hanging with two boys at seventeen years old.

  After the Hummer was off the road, Animal started laughing at me. “Sweetness, seriously, you look like you’re going into a war zone. You’ve got to understand this is nothing like what we were into at seventeen.” He got out of the Hummer with the suaveness of a movie star. I was grumbling under my breath as I adjusted my hood to make sure it covered my face.

  “Your sister is trying to get into a three-day music festival. It’s pretty famous. The girls all wear flower crowns and bikini tops. The music is usually hit-or-miss and the concessions are expensive as fuck. We didn’t find Ember working the pole in the bad part of town. Your ass should be celebrating.” Animal’s white teeth were on full display as we walked. I heard the girls in line going nuts over him. They were fanning themselves and snapping pictures on the down low.

  “You’re causing a scene,” I complained and teased him with the same comment. He was right. Ember was okay. I had her phone. I needed to keep it in perspective. Having my father in my house was cracking my confidence. Control was essential.

  We reached the spot in line where Ember was and I was all of a sudden at a loss for words. This was us meeting. I had no idea what my aunt had told her about me. We’d been face to face when she was five—but we’d both grown in that time. And I’d changed considerably.

  Animal was all over it. “Hey, princess. You sell your phone a little bit ago?”

  I watched as Ember looked Animal up and down and smiled. Her two friends seemed intimidated.

  “Who’s asking?” She put her shoulders back. “You a cop?”

  I rolled my eyes, but no one could tell. I was taller than Ember, but this close to her, watching her face move—I saw so much of my mother it was disarming.

  “You can spot cops, Sunshine? What kind of little girl are you? You been living the tough life on the streets?” He moved forward a few steps, crowding Ember.

  One of her friends moved to put his body between Ember and Animal. “We’re all friends here. Love, friendship, and music, right?”

  Ember put her hands on the teen’s shoulders. “It’s okay, Jet.
” She looked in my direction and squinted. She was trying to see into the depths of my hood. “Yeah. I sold my phone. I was looking for scalpers, but we haven’t found any yet.”

  “That so?” I had Ember’s phone and I knew Animal was waiting for me to produce it. But I wanted to meet her, now that I was in front of her. She was so much like our mother—I wasn’t sure what she would say about a brother who looked like a skeleton.

  I slipped off my hood. I heard gasps around me as the teenagers in line saw my ink.

  “Shit.”

  “Damn.”

  “Ouch.”

  Ember was startled, but looked more interested than scared. “You come talk to me across the street? I’ll get you tickets.” I held out her phone.

  I heard Animal clear his throat. I was going off the playbook. And the playbook had always been that I was in the shadows. I was an off-stage player.

  She looked from her phone to my face and back again.

  The boy who had stood up to Animal spoke up, “Ember, you should stay here with us.”

  He was right. That was exactly what she should do in the situation. It still angered me.

  I tossed Ember’s phone to him and he caught it with snake-fast reflexes. He handed the phone to Ember with a twirl of his wrist that told me he thought he was hot shit.

  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted Ember.

  I’m ur brother. Did our aunt tell u about me?

  Her phone sounded a tone and she looked at the screen. I watched her read my message. She looked from her phone to me and back again.

  “Fenix?” Her sandaled-feet took tentative steps in my direction.

  It was like I could feel the ink with her name burn on my chest. I dropped my head.

  “Yeah. Let’s talk.” Ember snagged my elbow and turned to the people behind her. “I’m still in line so don’t get any ideas.”

  There was a peppering of complaints offered.

  Animal stepped to where Ember had been. “I’ll hold your spot, princess.”

  The complaints ceased immediately.

  I escorted Ember across the road so she could still see her two companions but we could have a bit of privacy to talk.

  “You’re my brother? No fucking way!” Ember clapped. She had French tipped nails and jean shorts on. And she was very excited. “How badass are you and your boyfriend? My friends are going to die. They will be so jealous.”

  “My what?” I looked over to Animal who was occupying Ember’s space in line like he’d just bought the sidewalk. He winked at me. “He’s not—we’re not dating. I’m straight.”

  Ember pouted at me. “Too bad. He’s a catch.”

  I started chuckling at the places her mind was going. “Do you have any questions? I mean, I don’t know what Dorothy told you…”

  “Not much. That you and your dad left town after Mom died in the car accident. Are you both back? Can I meet your dad? Do you know who my dad is? Aunt Dor won’t tell me. Says she doesn’t know, but I think she does.” Ember started nibbling on her nails and then pulled them out of her mouth. “Can’t screw up the manicure. I eat my nails. Trying to stop. Where do you live? Why are you all inked up? Why do you have my phone?” She waved her hands at her side.

  I held mine up in an effort to get her to slow down. “Wow. Wait. I have your phone because I can track it. I found it and got it off the two hookers you sold it to.”

  “They were hookers? But I loved their shoes.” I watched as recognition washed over her face. “Oh, those were hooker shoes. And they probably thought Jet and Finn were looking to get laid. It all makes sense now.”

  I attempted to answer a few of her questions. “I like tattoos. I live about ten minutes from here. Your dad’s a mystery to me, but I have a suspicion. Aunt Dorothy might know. Our mom lived with her before her death, and they might’ve talked about it, I’m not sure. My father is an asshole. I want nothing to do with him, and I want you nowhere near him.”

  Her mouth made the shape of an O, but she said nothing.

  “That’s a lot of information for a sidewalk. I’m sorry to dump it all on you like that.”

  “I have a brother.” Her grin peeked out from the circle her lips had been in.

  I returned her smile. Acceptance was not something I expected from Ember, least of all a spark of joy. “You do.”

  She threw herself into my arms. I hugged her back, patting between her shoulder blades.

  “When can I move in with you? Do you have a place? Do you have good speakers? I love music and I can’t wait to get away from Dorothy.” She bounced away from the embrace on the tips of her toes.

  A Charger pulled up to Animal and he waltzed over to it, bending low. I had no idea who it was. I felt a pulse of danger. Ember was making plans to move into my house as I watched Animal retreat from the window. The Charger pulled away. Animal had what looked like five tickets in his hand. He spoke to the two boys and they high-fived and seemed elated. The entire crew of them left the line and began crossing the street.

  I grabbed Ember by her elbows. “Listen to me. My father? He looks just like me, but without the tattoos. He’s a bad guy. Don’t even go with him or trust him. Do you understand?”

  Instead of responding, she pulled out her phone and took a selfie with me. “There. I have a brother.”

  I told her not to post the picture she’d just taken as one of the boys interrupted by grabbing Ember up in a hug. “This guy’s the best!”

  Animal held out a ticket to Ember with a little bow. She took it and her expression went to straight jubilance. “These are VIP tickets! Holy shit!”

  She and her friends started dancing on the sidewalk. Animal clapped loudly while laughing.

  “Don’t you miss that childhood innocence, baby?”

  I scratched my nose with my middle finger. He and I both knew our childhoods were piles of shit. We had nothing to miss because we’d never had it.

  It was good to see Ember happy. I had a ton more to tell her. About sneaking out. About selling her phone. About finding friends that were girls. But first, I needed to get back to Becca.

  I called the three of them an Uber and they were more than willing to do as we asked after getting the expensive tickets to the music festival.

  Ember seemed reluctant to leave, but I insisted. I told her I was watching and we’d get together soon. She kissed me on the cheek, and then offered the same treatment to Animal’s cheek.

  Once they were in the Uber, Animal was clapping me on my back. “You’re in trouble. She’s gorgeous, has a mouth on her, and isn’t scared of shit.”

  “She wants to move in.” I was shocked by the whole situation. Then I felt my mood darken. Ember looked so much like my mother it was eerie. My concerns for her were ratcheted up to straight urgent.

  “Hey, T wants more jobs. You think we can have her tail Ember?” Animal tapped on his phone.

  “For now. Tell her I’ll kill her if she screws up.”

  I looked at my phone. Becca was home. She’d tried to access the app twice. My heart flopped around in my chest. I wanted to be in her arms. I needed a quick shower and to grab my bike. Then I could go to her.

  31

  PEACE OF MIND

  Becca

  I checked my app a few more times. It was always under maintenance. I tried watching some reality TV. I texted Henry. It was no use. I was keyed up. I stared at the ceiling finally, knowing that I needed to just make the time pass. It was a whole lot of waiting. I thought about all the things Nix had said. The whirlwind of how I went from a field of dandelions to his shower, to his bed.

  I searched pictures of skulls on the Internet. They settled me now. I sketched a few skulls at my desk. Then, I got up and looked in my winnings’ room. I touched a few of my prizes. If my regular schedule held true, I would have tomorrow off too. We were closed on Mondays. If I still had a job. After thinking about it for a while, I’d call Bossman and see where I stood. I snapped the light off in the guest room. Fig
uring on renting a movie from my phone, I walked toward my bedroom again when I heard the first jiggle on the front doorknob.

  It felt like my whole body stopped. Like the blood just paused in my veins while I held my breath. I was about to tell myself my mind was playing tricks on me when the handle jiggled again. My phone was on my bed. I stood paralyzed as the door was successfully opened despite the fact I had checked it three times to be sure I had turned the little button to the lock position.

  The alarm began blaring the second the door left the magnetic contact in the frame.

  It didn’t occur to me to scream, because the alarm was so loud—there was no point. A man rushed in the front door, slamming it behind him. He was wearing a hood.

  It was…

  Nix. He flipped his hood off and put his hands in the air. I pointed at the alarm panel in the hallway. He went to it and I met him there. I blanked out on the alarm code. I had nothing but the noise filling my ears.

  Nix waited for a beat before pushing the numbers in a straight line down the panel. It turned off the noise.

  “That’ll make it quiet, but I need the code to make sure the police don’t come. You have that?” He was calm despite the fact that the cops were supposed to be en route.

  I found the cheat sheet my landlord had prepared and held it out. Nix pressed the right combination two times. The panel beeped.

  “They may still call, so keep your phone handy and do you know the all-clear phrase? Oh, wait—here it is.” He pointed to the word “peanuts”. “That’ll work.”

  Sure enough, my phone started ringing. Nix coached me on the password. When all the urgency was over, this guy was standing in front of me. I felt the stress leave my shoulders. “You gave me a goddamn heart attack. Did it ever occur to you to just knock?”

  “I thought it’d scare you.” He winced. “I’ll knock next time.”

  “Or text. Or call. Or literally anything other than breaking in.” My heart rate had been so high that I felt like I had pounding blood everywhere.

  “I’m sorry. I just wanted to get to you with the least resistance.” It was like he was hesitant all of a sudden.