Friends with benefits: Erotica

by Walker, Kelli

  Friends with benefits

  Erotica

  Kelli Walker

  Bookify.shop

  Copyright © 2018 by Kelli Walker & Bookify.shop

  All rights reserved.

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  Blurb

  To some, it may seem as though Lily Farr has a great life. But behind closed doors, she’s struggling with her self-worth and her alcoholic husband. When she runs into an old friend, Sean Mitchell, she realizes what life could be really like.

  Sean Mitchell had no choice when he left all those years ago. Now that he’s back, he’s determined to win Lily’s heart. After all, she’s been the only woman who ever truly got under his skin.

  Lily must decide between her husband, Chris, or the guy she never could quite stop thinking about.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

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  Chapter 1

  Lily

  “Come on, babe. It was just a joke,” my husband Chris called through the white bathroom door. Once again he’d made an off-hand joke about my weight and I just couldn’t do it this time. I used to sit and take it, silently agreeing with everything he said. That there was something wrong with me, that I needed to lose a few pounds, or I would look better if I dyed my hair a lighter shade. In the end, nothing was ever enough for him.

  “Some joke,” I muttered before blowing my nose. “I’m fine. I just need a minute,” I said loudly through the door. I wasn’t going to debate it all with him again. He was always telling me it wa my fault for taking things the wrong way. Maybe he was right, but I wasn’t doing it today.

  Standing in front of the full length bathroom mirror attached to the back of the door I took a long look at myself. I knew I wasn’t as thin or as pretty as I used to be but that was over ten years ago and I’d had a baby since then. Cesarean sections weren’t known for making your body better. I sighed and turned on the cold water before pulling my long blonde hair back in a messy bun. My eyes went around the bathroom as I tried to calm myself. The soft yellow walls were a color I had picked to brighten up the small room. The only decoration was a photo of my daughter, Avery and I at the park. My mother had taken it just about two years ago now.

  He doesn’t know what he’s saying, I told myself. He thinks that he’s being funny. Don’t let him get to you.

  Even though you’ve told him time and again how self-conscious you are about your looks? Another voice whispered in my mind.

  It wasn’t the first time I had hidden in the bathroom so that I could cry in peace. If he knew I was crying, he’d tell me I was just being emotional. This time, I hadn’t been able to hide my hurt look before disappearing, which was why he had come to the door. From the sound of it, he’d returned to his 30-pack of beer and his show. No doubt his phone was in front of his face, as well.

  I was just grateful that our daughter, Avery wasn’t home this time. Last night she’d spent the night with my parents. She was a bright little girl who was far too smart for her own good. She always seemed to appear when I was trying to hide. I knew she meant well, but nothing made me feel worse than being consoled by my young daughter because my feelings were hurt by her dad. I didn’t want to hurt their relationship.

  Washing my face, I reapplied my eyeliner and mascara before running a brush through my hair. All I needed was some fresh air and something to occupy my mind. Maybe a trip to the store would give me that. I needed to get a few things for dinner, anyway.

  Feeling better, I stepped from the bathroom, determined to not let Chris see he’d gotten to me again. We lived in an older home in a town so small the only thing here was a post office. Personally, I loved the quiet life. I could let Avery play outside without worry and our dogs Walker and Hank would keep her safe. The floor creaked as I entered the living room where the tv was loudly playing the tv show Chris was binge watching.

  “I think I’m going to head to the store,” I said as I collected my purse and keys.

  “Oh, well, I’ll go with you,” he said dropping the footrest of the recliner.

  “You don’t have to,” I said, silently hoping he’d change his mind.

  “No, it’s fine. I need to get some more beer anyway,” he said.

  The car ride was fairly quiet. Not uncomfortably so. We had been together for far too long to not be able to quietly enjoy each others company. After a while, I started thinking that maybe I had just been feeling sensitive that morning. I allowed my pain to slip away and instead chose to focus on the here and now.

  At the store, I had picked up the supplies needed for dinner and to make cookies for dessert with Avery. Chris was following behind me, complaining about how much everything cost. I turned down one more aisle, trying to hurry when I almost ran into a tall man who was trying to come out.

  “Excuse me,” he said absently before locking eyes on me.

  “Lily Farr?” he said in surprise.

  I looked at him closely. He looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t place him.

  “Yes?” Chris was standing next to me, silently watching the exchange.

  “It’s me, Sean. Sean Mitchell?” he said, beaming.

  “Oh!” I said as recognition washed over me. “Sean!”

  “How have you been?” he asked, clearly happy to see me. “It’s been forever.”

  “Yes, it has,” I said. “This is my husband, Chris DeSoto,” I said introducing them. “He worked at F & S, too. But I think he showed up after you left.”

  Sean shook Chris’ hand. “Actually, I think I remember you. Just a bit. We weren’t in the same department.”

  Chris nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re right. So you and Lily were friends?” he asked.

  “Oh, yeah,” Sean said, beaming. “We ended up working a lot together when I was there.”

  “You should come over,” Chris said. “Lily’s making her chicken alfredo tonight. There’s always plenty left over.”

  “I don’t want to impose,” Sean began.

  “It’s no trouble,” I said. “If you aren’t busy it would be great to catch up. You can meet our daughter if she’s home by then.”

  Sean nodded. “Sure, that’d be great. Let me give you my number and you can message me your address and what time I should be there.”


  I entered his number into my phone. When I looked up he was smiling at me with a sparkle in his eye.

  “It’s great seeing you,” I said before we parted ways with the promise of him joining us for dinner.

  “What happened to him, anyway?” Chris asked after we had walked away.

  “What do you mean?” I pushed the shopping cart through the aisle absently picking up the rest of the things I needed.

  “I thought I remembered something about him. Like people talking about him after he left.”

  I knew what he was talking about. “Oh, he ended up going to jail,” I said.

  “Seriously?” Chris asked in disbelief. “For what?”

  “It was manslaughter, but he didn’t do it,” I insisted. “I talked to him about it before he’d left. He told me how he was going to be going away because he refused to rat out the person who really did it.” We were quiet as we walked through the store, headed for the checkout line. I couldn’t believe after all this time we had run into him again. I wasn’t going to tell my husband, but Sean had asked me out when we had worked together. He was known then for being a bit free-spirited. He would be dating one woman while seeing another. I didn’t want any part of that. It wasn’t that I hadn’t found him attractive, but I wasn’t in a position that I wanted anything like that. I wanted a man that would be committed to me, not one I would have to worry about.

  “I don’t remember him being that big,” Chris said after we’d paid for our groceries and made our way to the car.

  “He was a scrawny thing back in the day,” I said. “That’s probably why I didn’t recognize him at first.” All those years ago, Sean had been a thin guy. Now, he was a much healthier size. He had filled out in a good way. I didn’t think he looked overly muscular, but he was definitely much bigger than before.

  “I bet it’ll be nice for you two to catch up,” Sean said absently as his phone made yet another noise.

  “Yeah, I’m kind of looking forward to it,” I said as we reached the car. Occasionally Chris would had me a bag but for the most part I was loading it all myself. At least he was nice enough to put the cart away for me this time.

  My cell phone began to ring in my purse. Looking at the caller ID, I saw it wa my mother.

  “Hi, Mom,” I said as I answered the phone.

  “Hey, honey. How was your night without Avery?” she asked.

  “Not too exciting. Chris passed out in his chair and I ended up binge watching a new show. How’d she do?” I watched as Chris made his way back to the vehicle. I turned the key in the ignition.

  “She did wonderful,” my mother exclaimed. “I was going to ask if she could stay one more night. We talked about going to the movie later and by the time it gets out it will probably be getting late.”

  “That works out for us. I have an old friend coming over for dinner tonight,” I said. In a way, I was missing my daughter but glad I wouldn’t have to pick up after her before Sean arrived. My mind was already racing with all the things I wanted to get done before he showed up.

  “Okay, I’ll swing her by in the morning. You have a nice evening,” Mom said before hanging up.

  Chris climbed in the passenger side of the car and began to buckle himself in.

  “Avery’s staying with Mom another night,” I said.

  “Good,” he said. “Not that I don’t miss her, but maybe we can fool around tonight,” he winked at me. Years ago, I would have felt giddy at the thought. Now, all I feel is tension.

  “Maybe,” I said, trying to match his enthusiasm. In reality, I wasn’t looking forward to it. As I pulled out of the parking space I began to replay the last time we had tried to be intimate in my mind. Chris would rub his hands all over my body until finally pushing his hand between my legs. He would poke and prod, despite the fact that there was no moisture down there. I used to verbalize how much it hurt but I learned long ago he’d just throw it in my face and say I was unwilling to sleep with my husband. After roughly fondling me, he’d roll me on my back and tug down my pajamas. He’d force himself in me and rut until he was finished. I used to try. I really did. But after years of the same thing over and over, I had all but given up. He would be completely oblivious as to if I was enjoying any of it. There were times I had to bite back tears because it hurt. I knew it wasn’t something I should allow, but this was my husband. He had needs, too. If I didn’t give it to him, where else would he get it? I sighed and gave him a watery smile as we headed for home.

  Chapter 2

  Sean

  I couldn't believe I managed to almost run into Lily, literally. Seeing her at the grocery store was like a blast from the past. She still looked amazing, even after all these years. Yeah, she’d changed but hadn’t we all. If anything, I thought she looked even cuter with the extra weight.

  I’d noticed how she kept tugging on her shirt, probably something she didn’t even realize she did. Most people weren’t as observant as I was. I tried to chalk it up to my nature, but I knew when it came to Lily it was more than that.

  All those years ago, I had never admitted it to anyone, but I had it for her bad. I had a girlfriend at the time but that didn’t matter to me back then. All I knew was she was beautiful and I wanted to have her. I was a young punk so it stung when she’d turned me down flat. Didn’t keep me from thinking of her, though. If anything, it made me want her even more.

  After seeing her, I went to the checkout and quickly paid for my items. I wanted to go find her again and kiss her. I wanted to see if I could change her mind. I didn’t give a damn about her husband. He didn’t impress me all that much from what I’d seen. Besides that, if I had to I was fairly sure I could take him.

  Outside, I took a deep breath of the humid, warm air. Forcing myself to think about something other than Lily and going to see her tonight was almost impossible. I found my lifted red truck and tossed my groceries in the bed before climbing behind the wheel. I sat there, thinking about the way her eyes lit up when she saw me. I saw a sparkle of the girl I used to know before it promptly faded into the background.

  What had happened to her? She looked like a wounded deer, begging for help. Did she know it? Or was she just so broken now that she always looked that way. It made me sad to think of that light that made her who she was being snuffed out.

  I almost didn’t noticed when she and her husband came out of the store. I watched as she pushed the cart and he just followed along on his phone. What an ass. I wanted to smack the phone from his hands and shake him. I’d yell, “Look at your wife! She’s beautiful, desirable and so full of love. Now, she’s wasting away.”

  But maybe it wa his fault she was that way now. A white hot anger bubbled up inside me as I watched her put all the bags in the car. Thankfully, he took the cart for her. Otherwise, I might have not been able to resist climbing back out of my truck and giving him a piece of my mind.

  I turned the key in the ignition and my truck growled to life. I forced myself to stop watching her as I backed out and headed for home. I needed a little space to clear my head before I did something I’d regret. It wasn’t like she’d spent all those years thinking of me like I’d been thinking of her. And I had. I’d missed her so much some days…

  She was one of the only people that helped keep me sane when I was locked up. I had no way of knowing where she was or if I would ever see her again, but she still had brought me comfort. I had countless conversations with her late at night while I lie on my bunk. I’d imagine her coming to see me, telling me how much she missed me and how she would be waiting for me when I got out. I knew it was just wishful thinking, but it still helped. She had been the most beautiful and smartest woman I’d ever known. To be honest, she was part of the reason I wasn’t in any relationships. I’d been out for a couple years now but I hadn’t had anything close to serious. I would always end up comparing them to her, and they never measured up.

  Finally pulling up in front of my one bedroom apartment I climbed out of my t
ruck. For now, I was living in an apartment above a local business downtown. I unlocked the door and climbed the stairs. Once to my door, I had to unlock it, as well. Inside, my dog came running to greet me.

  “Hey, Cash. What’s up, buddy?” I said as I scratched behind his ear. “You been good while I was gone?”

  I took my bads to the kitchen where I saw the trash can tipped over again.

  “Cash,” I said in a low voice. “What have I said about digging in the trash?”

  Cash, my Australian Shepard had the decency to look ashamed and whine.

  “Well, guess I need to figure something out,” I finally said as I grabbed the broom and started cleaning up. “Can’t just keep going this way. I have no intentions of cleaning up trash every time I leave the house.”

  My phone began to ring. I pulled it from my pocket as I continued to clean up the trash.

  “Hello?”

  “Son, this is your father,” a gruff voice said over the phone. I chuckled. It was like he always forgot there was caller ID.

  “Hey, Dad. How’s it going?” I said as I picked up the last of the trash.

  “Have you talked to your mother recently?” he asked.

  “Last week. Why? What’s going on?” I was worried. My dad never called. It was always Mom.

  “Did she say anything about going to the doctor?” he asked, still not answering my questions.

  “No, Dad. Come on. You’re freaking me out,” I admitted.