The Summer Guest

by Emma Hannigan

  Lexie felt as if she was going to vomit.

  ‘I still have your christening robe. Of course, Amélie wore it, but Dee kindly had it cleaned and gave it back. Just imagine, your flesh and blood is going to wear it too!’

  ‘And now that I’m practically retired I’ll be delighted to take the little ’un for a walk in the pram any time you need a moment,’ Reggie said.

  ‘You never did that for our children,’ Penelope said, pouting.

  ‘I was at work, Penelope. Morning, noon and night, I was slaving away to keep you in the style you were accustomed to. Can you imagine if I’d told you there was no money for a holiday or that you’d to cut back on the groceries?’

  ‘All right Reggie,’ she said, sniffing and shifting in her seat. ‘I don’t suppose I can complain.

  ‘The other thing is,’ Penelope turned to Lexie and lowered her voice to a whisper, ‘Dee is faultless as a daughter-in-law and I adore her, but it’s not the same as your own daughter having a baby. She does things the way her mother taught her. And that’s only right. But you’d be more like me. So it’ll be marvellous in every way.’

  ‘But I—’ Lexie began.

  ‘The other thing is,’ Penelope went on, ‘I never wanted to revisit the whole sorry situation, but it was a veritable nightmare for me when Amélie came along.’

  ‘Pardon?’ Lexie looked stunned.

  ‘Well, all that business with Dee and Billy not being married. It was awful. I couldn’t tell anyone at the golf club or the yacht club that we were about to be grandparents. I had to hide it, rush into organising their wedding and then pretend the child was premature.’

  ‘It was very stressful for your mother,’ Reggie confirmed.

  ‘But that’s preposterous!’ Lexie said. ‘I knew Dee was pregnant and so did everyone at the wedding. She had a bump, for crying out loud!’

  ‘She was only four months gone. I told my friends she’d simply put on weight with the stress of the wedding. Comfort eating was what I said.’

  ‘Who cares if they were married or not?’ Lexie exclaimed.

  ‘I did,’ Penelope said, eyes like steel. ‘Lexie, it was almost eighteen years ago. You may not remember the attitudes people had then, but I do. We wouldn’t have been able to show our faces at the golf club. It may have been accepted by some, but not our circle.’

  ‘Oh, I remember the attitudes only too well,’ Lexie said. ‘But I think the worst one was yours. You played a very dicey game marching Dee and Billy up the aisle. It was pure luck their marriage stood the test of time.’

  ‘Nonsense.’ Penelope sniffed. ‘It’s stood the test of time because they knew it was the right thing to do. People these days are too quick to throw in the towel and walk away. If they have a hard five minutes, they yelp, “Divorce!”’

  Lexie’s head dropped into her hands. ‘Mum,’ she said, through gritted teeth, ‘I don’t know anyone who gets divorced for the fun of it. People do try to make things work. Sometimes that’s not enough. Couples grow apart, circumstances change and often there’s no other way for them to find happiness unless they call it a day.’

  ‘I don’t agree,’ her mother said, with her nose in the air.

  Lexie thought she was going to cry she was so angry. She caught her father’s eye and he winked.

  ‘So when is the baby due?’ Penelope asked.

  ‘What?’ Lexie said. Her brain was numb. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

  ‘Ah, she’s all in a muddle, bless her,’ said Reggie. ‘All that negative talk about something that happened years ago is not what Lexie needs right now, love. Let’s stop with the upsetting and argumentative talk, eh?’

  ‘I’m merely explaining to Lexie why I’m so pleased about her news. We can finally rejoice in this pregnancy. I’ve waited my whole life for this moment. If you two think that’s wrong of me, then I apologise. But I’m going to be able to hold my head up and tell our friends we’re going to be grandparents!’

  ‘You already are grandparents!’ Lexie flared. ‘Or do you not tell your narrow-minded fossil friends that Amélie is your granddaughter?’

  ‘Let’s calm down, please, pet,’ Reggie soothed. ‘This isn’t good for you or the baby. Mum didn’t mean to upset you like this. I think it’s just the emotion of your news that’s bringing buried hurt to the fore. Am I right, Penelope?’ he said, eyeballing her.

  ‘Yes, Reggie,’ she said, dabbing her eyes and looking like an injured small furry animal.

  ‘Mum, I’m sorry to be such a killjoy but I need to go home and have a lie-down.’ Lexie felt faint. She started to cry. ‘I need to go home to Sam.’ As she ran out of the door she glanced back at her parents, who were waving like two goons, looking all sympathetic.

  ‘Drive carefully, won’t you? Be aware you’re carrying two precious cargoes at once now!’ her father shouted.

  Terrified to stay a second longer, Lexie started the car and zoomed away. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the steering wheel. When she screeched to a halt outside the house, she made it as far as the front door.

  Sam was waiting there for her and caught her in his arms. ‘Hey! What happened, babe?’ he asked, as she buried her face in his chest. ‘Did they freak out and say awful things?’ The previous animosity that had hung between them was wiped out.

  ‘No,’ she managed. ‘The opposite. Before I could even say all the stuff I’d rehearsed, they put two and two together and came up with five.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘They think I’m pregnant, Sam.’

  ‘They what? How? What did you say?’

  ‘They went off on a tangent. It was horrendous. I couldn’t interject and tell them they had it all wrong. I hadn’t the heart to say I was there to tell them the opposite.’

  ‘Oh, Lex.’

  ‘They’re so happy, Sam. I’ve never seen them so delirious. Then my mum was talking about christening robes, and Dad took over, saying we were in for a treat with all the unconditional love thing …’ Puffing out her cheeks, she tried desperately to control herself. ‘I feel such a fraud.’

  ‘Hey, it’s not your fault,’ Sam soothed.

  ‘Yes, it is!’ she shrieked. ‘I should’ve stopped them in their tracks. I should have pushed my chair back, stood up and told the truth. But I didn’t. I sat there like a lettuce and now they think they’re going to be grandparents again.’

  Sam blanched. ‘Did you manage to tell them to keep it to themselves?’

  ‘I didn’t even tell them anything in the first place. It’s all a bloody shambles.’

  Sam scratched his head. For once he didn’t seem to have a solution.

  ‘Maybe you could phone them tomorrow and say you lost it,’ he said eventually.

  ‘What?’ Lexie was horrified. ‘I can’t do that to them. That’s two lies instead of one. Then what do we do? Pretend to be shattered and smile bravely and say things like “Ah, well, it was God’s will. We can try again”?’

  ‘You’re shouting,’ Sam stated.

  ‘What do you expect, you making suggestions like that?’

  ‘Fine, it was stupid. I’m just trying to help.’

  ‘Well, don’t!’ she yelled. ‘I’m doing really well making a total pig’s arse of everything without any help from you or anyone else.’

  ‘Well …’ Sam hesitated, ‘… what if we were to try and make a baby for real? We could work out the logistics at a later stage, but if you got pregnant really quickly your folks would be so delighted it wouldn’t matter.’

  ‘Are you clinically insane?’ she shouted. ‘No way, Sam.’

  Lexie ran up the stairs. Their room didn’t seem like the right place to seethe, so she went to the spare room.

  She sat on the floor, staring at the space where the bed used to be. Since it had been moved to the basement, the need to sort the room was even more apparent.

  ‘Can I come in?’ Sam said, minutes later, knocking on the door.

  ‘Yeah,’ she said sheepishly.<
br />
  ‘How’re you doing?’

  ‘Oh, God, Sam! I’m sitting here trying to see if my body clock is ticking. But the truth of the matter is that I don’t think I have one. It would be so much easier if I was longing for a baby, but it’s such a big deal when my heart isn’t in it.’

  Sam sighed sadly. ‘I think the best policy is to let this sit with your folks until tomorrow. It’s time to go to Calvin’s party now.’ She nodded. ‘Lexie, I’ve been feeling you’re slipping away from me lately. I’m starting to think we both want different things.’

  ‘No, Sam,’ she cried. ‘I want you. I want us. I want things to stay the same as they’ve always been.’

  ‘But what if I don’t?’

  Lexie hoped to God her face didn’t betray her shock as she looked him in the eye. Instinctively she hugged him tightly and waited for the moment to pass. As she inhaled his familiar scent and rubbed her cheek against the soft fabric of his T-shirt, she felt sure she could take on the universe, if Sam was with her.

  Lexie knew in her heart of hearts that she didn’t want a baby. But seeing Sam so tortured, and knowing how much it meant to her parents, she was beginning to question things. Her mind flicked back to France. Shaking her head, she forced herself to block the images. She couldn’t afford to look back. She wondered what the future held. Should she go against everything she had decided in order to make others happy or was it okay to follow her heart? Lexie longed for a crystal ball to glance at the future. She had no idea which direction her life was about to take, and that scared her beyond belief.

  Chapter 17

  On the way to Maia’s house Sam hit the speed limit. Lexie would normally have called him Jenson Button and told him to slow down, but the atmosphere was too strained.

  ‘Have you remembered Calvin’s present?’ Sam broke the silence.

  ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘I got him the truck with the small cars to go on the back. The one he wanted.’

  When they pulled up at Maia and Josh’s detached five-bedroom mock-Victorian new build, Lexie gasped. ‘Oh hell, what has Maia done?’

  A massive inflatable assault course was poking its head above the roof from the back garden. The front porch was festooned with helium foil balloons, and a clown on stilts was welcoming people while blowing bubbles.

  ‘This is insane, even for Maia.’ Sam slammed the car door and marched inside with Calvin’s present under his arm.

  ‘Sam! Sam!’ Calvin said, running forward with his arms out. Lexie’s anger totally dissolved as she watched her husband hugging the little boy.

  ‘For me?’ Calvin asked, pointing at the gift.

  ‘All for you,’ Sam said. ‘Happy birthday, Calvin. You’re a big boy now!’

  ‘It’s my burr-day,’ he said, clapping.

  ‘Sure is, dude,’ Sam said, and helped him unwrap the truck.

  Calvin reacted brilliantly when he saw his present – Josh appeared in the hallway just in time to see his son jumping up and down with delight.

  ‘Hey, Sam, how’s it going? Hi, Lex. Maia’s in the kitchen.’

  ‘Look, Daddy,’ Calvin said, clapping some more and pointing. ‘It’s my burr-day.’

  ‘Wowzers, Calvin,’ Josh said, bringing his hands to his mouth dramatically. ‘Lucky you!’ He held his hand out and Calvin went to high-five him.

  ‘Good job, Calvin!’ Sam said. ‘When did you learn to do that?’ Calvin clapped again.

  Lexie hugged and kissed Calvin before striding to the kitchen to find Maia.

  ‘Hello!’ Maia tottered over to her on six-inch heels.

  ‘Where are you off to?’ Lexie said, looking her friend up and down. ‘Are we all moving on to a nightclub or something? Look at the get-up on you, Mrs Sex Kitten.’

  Maia whispered, in Lexie’s ear, ‘All the neighbours are coming so we’re having the works, hence my rocking it in my Louboutins, skinny jeans, and showing my painfully worked-on abs.’

  ‘You’re a basket case,’ Lexie said, laughing.

  ‘Whatever,’ Maia said. ‘Right! Get ready to show off. Here’s Lauren from down the road. She thinks she’s the cat’s whiskers, and her son is a little shit. He pushed Calvin over when they were playing on the green last week. Josh says it was an accident. I know he did it on purpose.’

  Lexie watched Maia saunter out of the kitchen towards the other woman with saccharine greetings.

  ‘The place looks astonishing,’ said Lauren. ‘I’m amazed you went to so much trouble for Calvin. I mean, he’s only four, and would he understand any of it anyway?’

  ‘Pardon?’ Maia towered over her and stood with a hand on her hip.

  ‘Oh, I mean, it’s all just lovely …’ The other woman was plainly scared.

  Within half an hour all of the children had arrived. A puppet show had begun and some of the kids had had their faces painted.

  ‘Will I bring Calvin to the face-painter’s table?’ Lexie asked Maia.

  ‘Jesus, no!’ she hissed. ‘He’ll go ballistic if you put anything near his head or face. I only booked the woman because Lauren said she couldn’t be got. She’s the in-thing at the moment. She does balloon animals and magic tricks too.’

  ‘Well, Calvin loves animals,’ Lexie said positively.

  ‘Yeah, and he adores the bouncy castle. Did you see his trampoline? We got it for him as his present.’

  ‘Cool,’ Lexie said.

  ‘I’m going to do two hundred bounces on it every day – it’s meant to be amazing for your pelvic floor. Nobody wants to be weeing down their leg by the age of forty-five, eh?’

  Lexie helped herself to a glass of bubbly from a table set up in the garden and handed one to Maia. They sipped as the children rushed to the front garden to get an ice-cream from the truck that had just pulled up.

  At the opposite end of the back garden, Sam was chatting and laughing loudly with a group of fathers as they tossed burgers on the barbecue. Lexie tried to catch his eye but he was studiously ignoring her.

  She guzzled the rest of her drink, then topped it up.

  Three hours later the younger children and parents had gone home. Lexie had polished off the entire bottle of champagne.

  ‘Christ almighty, thank goodness that awful Lauren woman is gone,’ Maia said, peeling her shoes off. ‘I know these shoes are a fashion must-have but possibly not for a children’s party. I should have worn my trusty Crocs.’

  ‘You look amazing, though,’ Lexie said. ‘I’d say she hates you. She’s about two foot shorter than you and has very bulgy eyes.’

  ‘Ha.’ Maia laughed. ‘I stood on her son’s toe too. I apologised profusely and made a song and dance of how awful I am, but I managed to hold his gaze. He won’t push Calvin again.’

  ‘Way to go, Mummy Tiger,’ Lexie said. ‘You’re evil.’

  ‘If anyone messes with my boy, they mess with me,’ she said. ‘Now fill up my glass before I fall over.’

  ‘Eh, I’ve kind of drunk it all.’ Lexie grimaced.

  ‘Not to worry, there’s plenty more in the fridge,’ Maia said, walking gingerly to the kitchen. ‘Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?’ she called. ‘You and Sam have been edging around one another like opposing gang members all afternoon. Has he shagged his secretary or something?’

  ‘No!’ Lexie said. ‘And be careful or he’ll hear you.’

  ‘They’re all busy finishing off the barbecue,’ Maia said. ‘So,’ she prompted, ‘have you shagged Larry from the fish shop, then?’

  ‘Ugh, no!’ Lexie grinned.

  ‘What, then?’

  ‘Is it that obvious?’

  Maia came back into the sitting room, flopped onto the sofa and set about opening a fresh bottle of bubbly. ‘I know you too well. Spit it out. Tell Maia.’

  Over the next half-hour Lexie offloaded the whole baby saga in hushed tones. Calvin bobbed in and out with a little boy called Simon. But the men remained in the garden.

  ‘Well,’ Maia said, glancing around to make sure
Josh wasn’t within earshot, ‘there’s a similar hassle going down in this house.’

  ‘Really?’ Lexie asked.

  Maia nodded. ‘Josh wants us to have a brother or sister for Calvin.’

  ‘And you don’t?’

  Maia shook her head. ‘It’s been a long road, Lex,’ she said. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change Calvin for anything in the world. He’s my soldier and I love every hair on his little head, but it’s not easy. This isn’t fun all the time. I know being a parent to any child is tough, but I’m terrified of having another.’

  ‘In case it has Down’s too?’

  ‘I guess. But there’s the guilt. What if the new child resents us for bringing him or her into the world and feels he or she has to look after Calvin in years to come?’

  ‘Then you make provision. You said you were going to do that anyway,’ Lexie said.

  ‘Yes, and we will. It makes things more complex, though, and there are far more considerations.’

  ‘But?’ Lexie encouraged.

  ‘But there’s nothing like the feeling of having your own child. I’d love Calvin to have a sibling. It would bring him on and show him a whole different aspect to our home life.’

  ‘Whatever you decide I’ll support you,’ Lexie said, hugging her.

  ‘Thanks, honey,’ she said. ‘You and Sam were so amazing to us when Calvin came along. We’ll never forget that. Josh and I still marvel at how lucky we were to have you guys. We’ve shed so many friends since Calvin’s diagnosis … On the flip-side we’ve met new people who are wonderful and we couldn’t live without them. It’s been eye-opening for sure.’

  Lexie was silent. She had only ever kept one secret from Maia. Christophe. She needed to get it off her chest. But it wasn’t the right time. It never seemed like the right time to tell anyone what she’d done. Instead she filled her in on the awful mishap with her parents that morning.

  ‘Cripes! You really know how to mess up big-style.’ Maia grinned.

  ‘Thanks for the support,’ Lexie said, sticking out her bottom lip. ‘I’d be offended but I’m mildly anaesthetised with champagne. I’m exhausted by being in the wrong all the time.’

  ‘Hey, who says you’re wrong?’ Maia asked. ‘You’re entitled to your feelings and opinion. It’s just damn hard when nobody appears to agree with you.’