The Summer Guest

by Emma Hannigan

  ‘Amélie, wait! I don’t want to be a mum but that doesn’t mean I don’t love being an auntie. I adore you and I thought you knew that.’

  Amélie was striding up and down balling and unfurling her fists. Lexie could almost see the anger emanating from her.

  ‘I used to think you loved me. I adored the fact I have a room in your house. I saw you as my ally when Mum and Dad were getting on my wick. But now I realise you hate kids, hate being disturbed and probably resent me for bursting in on top of your perfect life. You’re not the person I thought you were, Lexie.’

  ‘Amélie!’ Lexie cried, rushing towards her.

  But Amélie had fled.

  Lexie grabbed the landline phone and stabbed at the buttons with anger-fuelled speed.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Mum! What did you say to Amélie?’

  ‘Oh, Lexie, it’s you.’ She sounded dismissive.

  ‘What did you say to her?’

  ‘I told her the truth, that’s all,’ Penelope said.

  ‘Expand,’ Lexie fumed.

  ‘Amélie popped in. She’s feeling blue right now. I asked her why she ran away. Nothing seemed to be getting through to her about how precious she is and how much she means to your father and me. So I told her how heartbroken I am right now. I felt we could relate to one another. We’re both sensitive creatures, Amélie and I.’

  ‘What did you say to her, Mum?’ Lexie shouted.

  ‘Don’t shout, Lexie. It’s coarse and unladylike. Not to mention horribly aggressive.’

  ‘Cut the shit, Mum,’ Lexie said.

  ‘Well, that’s just charming. Foul language too.’

  ‘Mum, tell me what you said before I hang up.’

  ‘I only told her the truth, Lexie. How you practically ripped our hearts out when you called with Sam to tell us that not only were you not pregnant, as you’d led us to believe, but you were never having children and couldn’t think of anything worse.’

  ‘I never said that and you know it,’ Lexie exploded.

  ‘Didn’t you?’ Penelope asked. ‘I thought you said you had enough going on in your life and children were superfluous to requirements.’

  ‘Oh, my God, Mum, that is so unfair. You’re really twisting this.’

  ‘Am I?’ Penelope shot back. ‘So are you phoning to tell me you’ve changed your mind? Are you finally going to admit that you’re wrong and you regret your selfishness?’

  ‘Are you for real?’ Lexie asked. She could feel the tears coming. Her stomach was churning. Fearing she might say something she’d regret, she hung up. Crumpling forwards onto her desk, she sobbed.

  A group of six tourists walked into the gallery.

  Lexie tucked her head under the desk, blew her nose, fished a small makeup compact from her bag and did her best to patch up her blotchy face. As she surfaced she realised the group were waiting for her beside one of Agata’s larger paintings. ‘Can I help you?’ she asked.

  ‘How much, if you please?’ a man asked.

  Lexie smiled through her pain and went into sales mode. Thankfully, their enthusiasm and apparent obliviousness to her misery spurred her on. She knew she was winning when they agreed to take the painting. Her mood was levered further when they chose two more. As soon as the payment had gone through, she took their details. ‘I’ll have them shipped immediately so they should arrive within two weeks,’ she explained. Knowing her customers might not understand, she plucked a diary from her bag and began to point at dates.

  They nodded, looking delighted.

  By the time they left, Kate had arrived.

  ‘That was a great sale,’ Lexie said enthusiastically. ‘Agata’s largest one is gone too. I must give her a quick call. She’ll be thrilled.’

  ‘Eh, before you do, can I have a word?’ Kate asked.

  ‘Sure. Is everything all right?’ Lexie asked. Her smile faded as she noticed how drawn and pale Kate looked.

  ‘Everything’s fine. It’s just …’ Kate looked her straight in the eye. ‘You know your parents were suggesting you go on a cruise?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Well, I took out a Credit Union loan and I’m going travelling for a year. If I don’t do it now I never will.’

  ‘Wow,’ Lexie said. ‘I admire your impulsiveness.’

  ‘I know you’re probably a bit miffed with me, Lexie. I know the gallery is your main priority so I’ll do my best to help you find a new assistant.’

  ‘Don’t worry about me. And please don’t think I’m more concerned about the gallery than I am about you.’ Luckily the landline rang, so she went to answer it. After that she needed to go to the bank, so she skipped around the corner.

  ‘Hello there, Lexie,’ said Larry from the fishmonger’s. ‘I’m headed for the bank, not that there’s a massive wad of cash in my man bag.’ He chuckled.

  ‘I’d never have pictured you with a man bag, Larry,’ Lexie managed.

  ‘It’s not really my style, is it?’ He grinned. ‘Or so I thought. I didn’t want to say this in front of the other customers in the shop earlier but I met a lovely lady at Caracove Bay bingo hall a few weeks back. She went on holiday to Turkey and brought this for me as a present.’

  ‘Swanky!’ Lexie giggled, as he paraded around in a circle. ‘So is this a special lady in your life?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m afraid to jinx it all, but I think so,’ Larry said shyly.

  ‘That’s wonderful. I’m thrilled for you,’ she said. ‘Good for you, Larry.’

  ‘I’m biding my time on this one,’ he confided. ‘I’m going to wine and dine her a little bit longer before I pop the question.’

  ‘Wow! You really are smitten.’

  ‘Ah, I’m not sixteen any more, Lexie, and Pauline isn’t either, so what’s the point in hanging around?’

  ‘There isn’t any,’ Lexie said. ‘You gotta grab life by the horns, Larry.’

  ‘Too true!’ he said, and trundled on past. It was the most hysterical sight, Larry in his white shop coat with the smart black satchel-style man bag hanging off one shoulder. His overweight waddle made it swing precariously as he headed for the bank.

  Instantly Lexie thought to call Sam and fill him in. He’d love to hear Larry’s good news. Her smile faded as she remembered Sam’s irritation. Sighing, she waited a moment, not wanting Larry to notice her sudden sadness. Once she knew he was inside going about his business, she followed on into the bank and lodged her money.

  Lexie felt as if a weight had landed on her shoulders, one that was becoming too much to bear. Her once simple and happy life had been tossed into disarray. As she walked back to the gallery it occurred to her that she had the power to change it. She just wasn’t sure if her idea was the right one.

  Kate was dealing with a customer but she glanced over her shoulder and waved. Lexie put the paying-in book away, let herself into the small back office and closed the door.

  Dialling Sam’s number, she hoped he’d pick up.

  ‘Hello,’ he answered, sounding hassled.

  ‘Hi,’ she said, a lot more forlornly than she’d intended. She cleared her throat and tried again. ‘Hi, I’ve gone through things here and I really can’t up sticks and leave. I’m sorry. But we need to talk this evening before you go.’

  ‘I understand. It’s fine. I know I was being a bit unreasonable earlier on. I’m just stressed and I hate this feeling of strain between us lately. I wanted to smooth things over, that’s all.’

  ‘I know, Sam, and I love you for it,’ she said. ‘I’ll talk to you this evening. I’ll pop into Larry and get us some fresh fish and we’ll have a nice supper before you go away.’

  ‘That sounds like a plan.’

  Lexie had butterflies in her tummy as she hung up. She was well aware that her marriage was hanging in the balance right now. She was incredibly nervous of how Sam was going to react. She felt cold inside. This was the first time the warm cocooned feeling of their marriage had left her feeling so exposed and Lexie hated
it.

  Chapter 36

  Kathleen was delighted with her plans. She’d been to Connemara as a child but all she could recall were the vast mountain expanses and never-ending fields. Her sense of purpose was invigorating. When her phone rang, she answered cheerfully. ‘Hello, Agata!’

  ‘You sound happy,’ said the younger woman. ‘Do share the good mood!’

  ‘I’m off for a little break in the west to visit an old pal,’ Kathleen said.

  ‘How lovely for you. As it happens I was calling to ask you a massive favour.’

  ‘Sure,’ Kathleen said.

  ‘I need to get some art materials and visit a few places in Dublin city. I was wondering if by any chance Britta and I could stay at your apartment for a night?’

  ‘Of course you can!’ Kathleen said. ‘I’d be delighted. You can come and use the place while I’m gone, or if you wanted me to mind Britta, I can be home by Monday.’

  ‘Well, I had thought of coming on Sunday, spending the night and going into the city centre early on Monday morning.’

  ‘Well, why don’t you do that and spend Monday night with me too? That way we can have some dinner and share our news.’

  ‘That sounds like a lovely idea,’ Agata said. ‘You don’t think Lexie will mind me staying there with Britta, do you?’

  ‘I shouldn’t think so, dear. Besides, it’s my place for the moment. Britta won’t bother Sam and Lexie.’

  ‘All right, then,’ Agata said. They chatted for a while longer as Kathleen explained about Betty and how long it had been since they’d seen one another.

  By the time they said goodbye, Kathleen was even more excited about her little trip.

  ‘I won’t be coming home to an empty house now, Jackson,’ she said. ‘I know I can tell you things all the time, but it’ll be great to have a two-way conversation for a change.’

  It occurred to her as she was packing her suitcase that she hadn’t heard from Rodger, so she called him. ‘How are you today?’

  ‘Better, thank you,’ he said. ‘I’m finding each day easier. I certainly need to move around. Sitting seems to be the worst thing. I have to remember to mobilise the hip as often as possible.’

  ‘I feel your pain, Rodger, but you’re doing exactly the right thing.’

  She filled him in on her trip and promised to call him when she returned.

  ‘Maybe you’d come to Howth on the DART again towards the end of the week when Agata and Britta have gone. We could have lunch together, if you’d like.’

  ‘That would be wonderful, and it’s my turn to come in your direction,’ Kathleen said.

  ‘Can I ask you to do something for me?’ Rodger said.

  ‘Sure, what is it?’

  ‘Any time Claudia went away, she sent me a postcard. You know the sort, a cheesy one with idyllic pictures of the area. I haven’t had any since she passed away. My children think they’re a waste of time and money so I don’t bother asking them.’

  ‘Rodger, I’d love to write you a postcard!’ Kathleen said. ‘Text me your address.’

  He laughed. ‘We’re mixing it up, as my son would say. A bit of old-world with the new. I’ll gladly text you my address. Thanks for saying you’ll do that. I’ll look forward to getting something that isn’t a bill or a begging letter.’

  By early evening Kathleen was nicely tired. She’d given the already clean apartment another quick once-over to make sure it was shipshape for her guests. She was glad she’d had the foresight to buy the sofa-bed. She’d told Agata on the phone that she was most welcome to stay in her bed, but the younger woman had insisted she’d be happier in the spare box room.

  ‘I’ll bring my own duvet and I have Britta’s travel cot. That way you don’t need to fuss about changing sheets. Such a waste of time, if you ask me.’

  Remembering she hadn’t told Lexie about her visitors, Kathleen decided to pop upstairs and fill her in. She rang the bell and waited patiently. Seconds later Lexie pulled the door open. Kathleen had to stop herself gasping. Lexie looked drawn and exhausted.

  ‘Hello, honey,’ she said. ‘I won’t disturb you.’

  ‘Please, come in,’ Lexie encouraged her, standing back to make way.

  ‘I don’t want to appear rude, but I’ve a few things to do and I’m aiming for an early night,’ Kathleen said firmly. ‘I just want to let you know that Agata and Britta are spending the night on Sunday. I won’t be here, so I was wondering if you might give them my key. I’ll post it in your letterbox when I leave in the morning.’

  ‘Sure,’ Lexie said. ‘It’s kind of you to invite them.’

  ‘You’re not annoyed, are you?’ Kathleen asked, anxious that Lexie might think she was taking liberties.

  ‘Of course not. I’m delighted you and Agata have struck up such a lovely friendship.’

  ‘It is lovely,’ Kathleen agreed. ‘I’ll be home on Monday. They’re going to spend that night with me too.’ Kathleen wriggled her shoulders in glee. ‘I’m sure she and Britta won’t disturb you.’

  ‘That’s brilliant,’ Lexie said. ‘As it turns out, Sam is going to London for a few days so I’m more than happy to have the company downstairs. In fact, I might see if the girls will join me for an early supper.’

  ‘Good plan,’ Kathleen said, relieved that Lexie wasn’t cross. ‘I didn’t know Sam was going away.’

  ‘Neither did I,’ Lexie said, rubbing her temples. ‘It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.’

  ‘I see. Well, I’ll let you get on with making your dinner. Something smells divine.’

  ‘Fish pie. It’s Sam’s favourite.’

  ‘Yum,’ Kathleen said. ‘I’ll see you when I return. Enjoy your evening.’

  Lexie had just put the finishing touches to the table when Sam arrived home.

  ‘I’m in here,’ she called from the kitchen. ‘Dinner’s just ready.’ She poured him a glass of wine.

  ‘Hi,’ he said, tossing his jacket over the back of a chair. ‘Cheers.’ He clinked glasses with her and tasted the wine. ‘Delicious. Is that fish pie I can smell?’

  ‘Certainly is,’ she said. She knew her voice sounded ever so slightly too high. Her smile was probably too bright and she’d already had more than enough wine, considering she’d barely eaten all day. ‘Sit down and I’ll get it out of the oven.’

  Before Sam could even loosen his tie and stretch out his legs, she’d banged the pie onto a mat and was digging a serving spoon into it. ‘This is lovely,’ she said loudly. ‘Amélie is at the cinema and won’t be home until later. She hates me, but that’s fine. I’m sure she’ll get over it.’

  Sam put his hand on hers. ‘Chill, Lex,’ he said.

  ‘Pardon? Uh, yes … Of course … I’m fine. I’m actually starving, that’s all. I haven’t eaten much today so I’m at that stage where I can barely talk I’m so hungry.’

  She began to tuck into her pie, blowing on the steaming fish and attempting to eat.

  ‘What’s going on, Lexie?’ Sam asked, ignoring the food and clasping his hands at the side of the table.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You’re like a cat on a hot tin roof. You’re so wound up I’m afraid you’re going to self-combust there.’

  She put down her knife and fork and closed her eyes for a moment. ‘I think we need to reassess things, Sam,’ she said. ‘I’m not happy.’

  ‘I know that,’ he said sadly. ‘In case you hadn’t noticed, neither am I.’

  ‘I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching lately,’ she said. ‘I think we’ve been too rash. Well, I have … I’ve come to the conclusion that we should probably have a baby after all.’

  ‘I see,’ Sam said calmly. He didn’t move a muscle. He simply stared directly at her and waited.

  ‘Is that all you have to say?’ she asked. ‘What do you think? Are you happy or sad about it? Do you think it’s a good plan? What?’

  ‘I’m not surprised you’re saying it,’ he said. ‘In fact, I thought this might be comi
ng.’

  ‘And what do you think?’

  ‘That you’re knee-jerk reacting. You’ve had a face full from your mother and me. I think you’ve slipped into panic mode and you don’t know what you want any more.’

  ‘There’s a grain of truth in what you’re saying. My mother has shaken me. There’s no denying that. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe she’s right. I need to realise I’m on the cusp of being too old to change my mind.’

  Sam took a slow sip of wine and put down his glass gently. Looking out of the window, he swallowed and remained silent.

  ‘Sam, talk to me,’ she said, throwing her chair back and standing up.

  He stared up at her. ‘Sam, please!’ she yelled.

  He didn’t budge. He still didn’t speak.

  Hurt and humiliated, Lexie stormed out of the room and upstairs where she threw herself face down onto their bed.

  Back downstairs, Sam sat in silence, staring out at the beautifully manicured park with the pretty flowerbeds. Tiddles was sitting on the windowsill taking it all in too. Momentarily Sam envied the cat. Oh, for a life of eating, sleeping and purring like Tiddles, he mused.

  He’d arranged to meet Josh for beers this evening, but when Lexie had phoned and said she needed to talk, he’d cancelled. Yet again he wished he wasn’t at home. He’d felt like that a lot lately. He used to rush home but now he’d do anything to avoid being there. He’d put himself forward for all the foreign trips at work. Most of the others had children and were angling for time off, never mind junkets abroad, so he knew he’d be away quite a bit for the foreseeable future.

  The trip to London would be stressful, hot and rushed. But anything would be better than the walking-on-eggshells existence he had here right now. He filled his glass and took it to the living room. He knew he ought to follow Lexie upstairs and try to tease out what on earth they should do to ‘fix’ the rest of their lives so they could live happily ever after. But he simply hadn’t the energy. Kicking the living-room door shut, he sat on the sofa and stared into space. He knew Lexie better than anyone. He wanted a baby. But he was certain she didn’t. If he went ahead and said they should have one, who knows what sort of a mess they’d end up in down the line? At least this way, if they split, no small people would be hurt in the process.