Head Over Tentacles

by K. L. Hiers

  “This is a ghoul copy made by Miss Fields.” Loch slid into the passenger seat and clapped his hands. The car door magically reattached itself, though it was still at an odd angle. “She’s a very talented witch, and yes, she’s my sister in a sense.”

  “Aww! That’s so nice!” Galgareth gushed. “You finally have another sister!”

  “One who knows all about necromancy,” Sloane said. “She’s raised at least one ghoul I know of, a friend named Fred. Hopefully we’ll catch her at home.”

  A quick text to Milo confirmed that Lynnette was home on her lunch break. Sloane pulled up to her house with a cringe when he saw some neighbors working out in the yard. Their heads turned when they saw the state of Sloane’s car.

  “Stay here with Jay for a second,” Sloane said firmly, jogging up to the front door and knocking. While he waited for Lynnette or Milo to answer, he glanced back at the car.

  The door had fallen back off, and both Loch and Galgareth were gone.

  He turned back to find them standing beside him, cursing, “Shit! I told you guys to stay in the car!”

  “Why?” Galgareth blinked. “I want to meet the necromancer!”

  “Waiting in the car is boring!” Loch complained.

  “Jay! Because Jay is still in the car!” Sloane almost shouted, and he groaned in frustration.

  “Uh, hello?” Lynnette opened the door, still in her waitress uniform from the restaurant she worked at and very confused. She was an attractive ginger like her brother, and her long curly hair was currently tied up in a tidy bun. “Hey, Sloane! Loch! Uh. What’s going on? Oh, by the gods! What happened to your car?”

  “We need some help,” Sloane said.

  “Hi there,” Galgareth said cheerfully. “My name is Galgareth, sister of Tollmathan, Gronoch, Xhorlas, and Azaethoth the Lesser. I am the daughter of Salgumel, he who—”

  “Galgareth?” Lynnette squealed, her eyes wide and totally in awe. As a devout Sage, she knew exactly who she was talking to. “Oh, my stars. Galgareth, your goddessness, I’m so honored!”

  “We need your assistance identifying a strange symbol, dear mortal child,” Galgareth said. “I’ve been told you’re a great necromancer?” She glanced at the uniform. “Strange robes… huh. Everything’s changed so much!”

  “Wow! Yes! Sort of!” Lynnette took out her scrunchie and frantically ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m Lynnette. Lynnette Fields. I’m more of an amateur necromancer…. Eh….” She tilted her head at Sloane’s car. “Is there someone else in there?”

  “He’s my client, Jay Tintenfisch,” Sloane replied, worriedly looking over at the curious neighbors. “He’s been put to sleep by an Asra and—”

  “An Asra?”

  “Look, he’s fine,” Sloane insisted. “But we need to move him inside without hopefully drawing any more attention. He’s in serious danger.”

  “Okay. Wait a second.” Lynnette dipped into the house and returned with a pair of bright purple sunglasses. “Come on, I got this.”

  Sloane followed Lynnette back to the car, watching her take off Jay’s glasses and slide on the shades. They pulled him out of the car as Lynnette shouted dramatically, “Wow! How much have you had to drink, buddy! Whew, smells like a brewery in here!”

  “Is this really gonna work?” Sloane mumbled, grateful for Loch joining them to help lift Jay up. They slung his arms over their shoulders and walked with him to the house.

  Jay’s head wagged like a bobblehead doll, but the sunglasses stayed on.

  “It’ll work, shush.” Lynnette raised her voice again, exclaiming, “And in the middle of the day? Who gets so drunk on their lunch break!”

  Sloane stole a glance over to the neighbors, who were definitely watching but weren’t rushing for their phones to call the authorities. Once they had crowded into the house, they moved to the couch to safely deposit Jay.

  “What the crap?” Milo popped up from the kitchen. “Babe, I heard you yelling and…. Uh… hey… everybody. Hello, your godliness!”

  “Hello, dear mortal child,” Loch said sweetly. “Good to see you again.”

  “Okay!” Lynnette planted her hands on her hips. “So, what’s going on here exactly?”

  “Sorry, babe,” Milo said with a cringe, cutting a sharp glare to Sloane. “Dude, when you texted me, I didn’t think it was gonna be a damn party!”

  “Language!” Lynnette smacked Milo’s arm. “We’re in the presence of gods!”

  “Huh? Who? I know Loch is a god, but wait, you mean the kid?” Milo stared at Galgareth awkwardly. “He’s… he’s a god?”

  “She is the Goddess of Night, come on! Pay attention!”

  Milo looked utterly helpless, and Sloane swept in to assist, quickly saying, “Listen, this is Galgareth, Azaethoth’s sister. She came to help with the wedding and—”

  “Wedding?” Lynnette squeaked, holding her hands over her mouth. “Wait, wait, who’s getting married?”

  “I am making an honest man out of Sloane,” Loch said proudly. “After all of these months of raw, undiluted, primal passion, we are going to formally commit to one another.”

  “Yes, but—” Sloane tried to interrupt.

  “When did this happen?” Lynnette rushed to embrace them both. “This is so amazing! I’m so happy for you guys! Congratulations!”

  Sloane hugged Lynnette politely, trying again to explain, “Listen, please. This has to do with Milo’s big discovery. The blue goo he’s been testing?”

  “Testing?” Lynnette arched her brows, and she eyed Milo suspiciously. “Testing where exactly?”

  “He’s discovered it belongs to another god who was down here with Tollmathan,” Sloane said, trying to keep the conversation on track. “And now I think I know what that god was doing. Sort of. Maybe.”

  “Well, what is it? I’m guessing this has something to do with the passed-out guy on my couch?”

  “Isn’t that Jay?” Milo frowned. “I knew you were going to talk to him about that weirdness with his roommate, but what the hell?”

  “Cat made the roommate disappear. I’ll explain later—”

  “What!”

  “Look, Jay is Silenced,” Sloane said firmly. “The Asra who put him to sleep has been watching over him because a god is out there kidnapping Silenced people and turning them into weapons. He said he had to protect Jay to save the world.”

  Lynnette clicked her tongue, slowly taking all of this new information in. “Right. Okay, and how is this god making Silenced people into weapons?”

  “That’s why we’re here.” Sloane reached into his pocket and brought out the piece of paper with his doodle on it. “We were attacked by a young kid who is Silenced and had these all over his arms with traces of that godly blue goo.”

  Lynnette took the paper and stared for a moment before her eyes flicked up at Sloane. “And you’re sure he was Silenced?”

  “Yes. I even tried to silence him with Galgareth’s help, and it did nothing. He was still able to use some sort of….” He struggled to describe it. “Like an energy attack against us?”

  “It was definitely godly power,” Galgareth added gravely. “There is no mortal or everlasting creature that can cast like that.”

  “At first we suspected he was using some sort of magical totem,” Sloane continued, “but that’s a binding symbol, right? For souls?”

  “It is,” Lynnette said, clicking her tongue again. She was thinking hard, her lip curled up tight. A tense silence began, and everyone was watching her expectantly.

  “What’s an Asra?” Milo asked in a hushed whisper.

  There was a collective groan from the rest of the room, and Sloane forced a smile. He patted Milo’s shoulder. “They were the first race of beings that Great Azaethoth created who now guard Xenon, the bridge to Zebulon.”

  “They’re very annoying cat people,” added Loch with a sneer. “Highly overrated.”

  “Wait,” Milo gasped. “Does this mean unicorns are real?”
r />   “Eh, sort of?” Sloane grinned. “But we call them the Eldress, and not all of them had one horn. Some of them had dozens, and they didn’t have fur. They had no skin, and they had teeth like needles, and uh, Lynnette, where are you going?”

  Lynnette had suddenly left the room, and she called over her shoulder, “I’ll be right back! Hang on!”

  Galgareth sat on the end of the couch by Jay’s feet, calmly announcing, “I’ve warded the house and set some traps to protect us in case the Silenced one returns. Huh. Seems that Azaethoth has done it here before.”

  “That’s not the only thing I’ve done here before,” Loch purred, and he leaned in to nip at Sloane’s neck.

  Sloane smothered a groan into his palm, unable to resist a bashful smile. He peeked through his fingers at Milo. “Sorry, Milo.”

  “It’s cool! It’s cool!” Milo grinned. “I guess I should be honored that a god wanted to get down in these humble digs, right?”

  “Definitely,” Loch said with a wink.

  “Okay!” Lynnette shouted. “Gods and mortals, come to the kitchen!”

  Sloane led the way, and he saw Lynnette had brought out a collection of old books and tattered scrolls. They were stretched out across the counter and smelled distinctly of must. He could feel the magic seeping right off the paper. “What are those?”

  “Collectively, they’re the grimoire of the Fields family,” Lynnette said with a proud smile. “Forbidden magic passed down generation after generation. The magic enforcement police would seriously torch this stuff in a second if they found it. Everything I learned about necromancy is in here.”

  “Is there a CliffsNotes version?” Milo peered over the ancient papers.

  Rolling her eyes, Lynnette said, “Look, the binding symbol you saw? It’s used for soul binding when you’re creating a ghoul. When someone first passes, you have to bind their soul to something to keep them from moving on too quickly. When Fred died, I bound his soul to a spoon.

  “Once it’s ready, you use the same symbol on the ghoul body to transfer the soul over and ta-dah! You’ve created your very own ghoul. But this isn’t a true resurrection.” She glanced at Loch. “When Great Azaethoth brought Lochlain back, that was the real deal.

  “Raising a ghoul is a cheap imitation. Being able to bring a soul back from Zebulon and put them into their original body and restore their natural vitality takes power that no human has held in hundreds of years. We’ve been getting by with ghoul magic because it’s all we have, and even that can fail if the binding doesn’t hold.

  “Now, some of those old resurrection spells are here, but they’re written in godstongue, and I can’t translate them.”

  “Godstongue is the language of the Sagittarian gods,” Sloane said before Milo could ask. “Some dialects were unique to specific gods. Others were a bit more broad. Most spells are cast using some form of godstongue. Lucians claim that their God of Light invented it, but the language is totally Sagittarian.”

  “There are even some versions of the language that only the god that it was intended for can read.” Galgareth reverently touched the old scrolls. “These look like Babbeth’s. Maybe his consort, Rordanus.”

  “I believe they’re from Rordanus,” Lynnette said, a twinge of excitement in her voice. “I’ve been comparing these with some works down at the museum and… anyway! The point is that soul binding is not really true necromancy. You’re kind of just moving a soul around. Now, what you’re describing, a living being with a soul bound to him? That’s a problem.”

  “Because two souls can’t share the same body?” Milo looked quite proud of himself for contributing to the discussion.

  “Exactly,” Lynnette confirmed. “Gods can visit a mortal vessel for a time if the vessel is willing.” She gestured at Galgareth. “Or if the vessel is empty.” A nod to Loch. “But knowing all those binding symbols are on this mystery guy, well, I think I know why they’re so keen on using Silenced people.”

  “Oh?” Sloane watched Lynnette flip through one of the books.

  “Silenced people are totally cut off from magic,” Lynnette went on, turning to a page that showed a bridge made of bright stars. “Even in death, they’re forced to walk the bridge in Xenon to pass on into Zebulon. No magic, no free pass over the bridge.

  “And the reason why you can’t bind a living soul to another is because the magic of two souls would be too much for one body. It would destroy them both. But a Silenced vessel…?”

  “A soul who has no magic?” Sloane’s heart sunk down into his gut.

  “With enough of those binding symbols,” Lynnette concluded hesitantly, “anything could be possible. There could actually be another soul bound to him.”

  “So we have a Silenced person who’s been bound with another kind of soul,” Sloane said, hating how insane it sounded to say out loud, “and he’s able to use that soul’s magic?”

  “Would explain why the silencing spells you tried didn’t work,” Lynnette pointed out. “The guy is already Silenced. What’s giving him power is the soul that’s attached to him, and I don’t know if your magic will affect it. Souls are already sort of halfway into Xenon once they separate from their body. They don’t fully exist in this plane.”

  “Great. So what can we do?”

  “The only thing you can do.” Lynnette flipped to another page. “You go after the bound object, which in this case is the guy. Break the binding symbols and it will free the soul that’s bound to him.”

  “Break them?” Sloane stared. “They’re, like, freakin’ tattooed into his skin.”

  “Then you’ll have to cut them,” Lynnette said grimly. “Enough to break the outer circle, but maybe not all of them. You might just need to cut through a few of them to get the soul enough wiggle room to escape and break the rest on its own.”

  “Whatever’s bound to him probably wants its freedom.” Milo frowned. “Poor ghost dude. It’s like a ghost slave, just stuck to this random guy.”

  “Maybe not so random. If I had to guess, finding a fitting Silenced vessel for this isn’t easy,” Lynnette continued, tapping her nails against the counter. “To actually pull off this kind of soul bonding and have it work is like one in a million. I guarantee Jay was the next prime pick, and that’s why they want him so badly.”

  “Based on what criteria?” Sloane asked. “Star sign? Age? Weight?”

  “Who knows!” Lynnette threw up her hands. “It could be completely random.”

  “There’s gotta be more to this. Maybe if we figure out what’s unique about Jay, we can find a pattern that will lead us to the god responsible for this.”

  “What we should go find is that pesky little Asra and wring his neck until he tells us what he knows,” Loch declared.

  “We’re still very much forbidden from entering Xenon,” Galgareth scolded. “The Asran King will start a war if a god sets foot there! You know this, brother!”

  “Fine! We will seek out this Silenced mortal and wring his neck until he tells us what he knows.”

  “He kinda kicked our asses,” Sloane reminded him glumly.

  “That is a vicious lie!” Loch gasped. “He retreated before I could claim my victory!”

  “Look, unless you’re planning on going full tentacle dragon in the middle of downtown, we can’t fight him anywhere in the city.” Sloane reached to take Loch’s hand. “We need to be careful.”

  “I think I might be able to translate some of these scrolls,” Galgareth said, her eyes fixed on the old papers. “I’m not fluent in Rordanus, but I understand a few words. With Lynnette’s assistance, we might be able to find something here that can help us.”

  “I’m going to see what I can dig up on all the Silenced disappearances,” Sloane said. “See if I can figure out something that the police have missed. Might give us a clue as to how these people are being chosen, maybe keep any potential future victims safe.”

  “Why aren’t we going after the Silenced mortal again?” Loch pouted.
>
  “Because of the ass kicking, and we don’t have enough information to make a smart move,” Sloane replied wearily. “We need a plan. Come on, you like plans.”

  “I like plans for stealing things.” Loch continued to pout.

  “How about you guys go hit the books and let Jay stay here for a while?” Lynnette suggested. “He’ll be safe with us. The warding spells are super powerful, and if anything comes up, we’ll call.”

  “Okay,” Sloane agreed, though a bit hesitantly.

  “I promise the mortal will be safe,” Galgareth soothed, a lavender tentacle moving out of her sleeve to stroke Sloane’s chin. “Fear not.”

  “My sister is a goddess of her word.” Loch’s tentacles reached over to hug Sloane’s waist. “All will be well, my sweet Starkiller.”

  Shivering from all the divine contact, Sloane found himself smiling. He took a deep breath. “Right. You’re right. We’ll figure this out.”

  “What can I do?” Milo asked. “I mean, I can’t speak godstongue, but there’s gotta be something I can do to help.”

  “Hey, what about that one guy, Ollie Logue?” Sloane snapped his fingers. “He’s a linguist, right? Does some translation work for the Archersville PD?”

  “Yeah, but he’s out of town or something,” Milo replied. “I don’t know if he can translate godstongue, but he speaks freakin’ everything else.”

  “Still might be worth trying to get in touch with him.”

  “He even speaks Klingon, dude.”

  “Well, in the meantime, do you have any more of the blue goo left to test?” Sloane asked, waiting for Milo to nod. “Maybe Galgareth can help you, see if there’s any other way to identify who it came from.”

  “I’ll be happy to assist however I can,” Galgareth chirped. “Urilith, our mother, is still coming to visit, and I’m sure she’d love to help as well.”

  Lynnette’s eyes widened. “Urilith…?”

  “Goddess of Fertility!” Milo exclaimed, pumping his fist. “Ha, I knew that one!”

  “We do still have a wedding to plan,” Loch said brightly, nuzzling against Sloane’s cheek. “Oh, I can’t wait for you to meet my mother. She will adore you.”