Head Over Tentacles

by K. L. Hiers

  Sloane left them to their reminiscing, stepping into the kitchen to set up his laptop. He found Lynnette in the midst of cooking a great feast. “I’m guessing you aren’t going back to work?”

  “Not when I have three gods to cook for!” Lynnette declared. “This is the chance of a lifetime! Oh, I bet Lochlain and Robert are gonna lose their crap when they hear about this!”

  “They’ll have their chance.” Sloane chuckled, sitting down at the kitchen table and booting up his laptop. “Urilith and Galgareth will be around for the wedding we still have to plan… if we can get this case figured out first.”

  “Lemme guess,” Lynnette teased, dropping some herbs into a bubbling pot and stirring the mixture. “Silenced guy kicked your ass again?”

  “Something like that. Alexander is still set on getting Jay, but I’m starting to get the idea that he isn’t doing this of his own free will.”

  “Alexander?”

  “That’s his name. I know it sounds nuts, but I hear things when I’m around him. It happened again when he hit me earlier. I saw, I don’t know, I guess they were memories.”

  Pausing her stirring, Lynnette turned to eye Sloane curiously. “Memories?”

  “Bad memories,” Sloane said, trying to recall the frantic images. “He was in some room with white walls, looked like a hospital. And there were these needles, stabbing him constantly… it may be how they made the marks.”

  “Gross.”

  “Yeah. I want to try to reach out to him, but I don’t even know where to start. The spell to break the bindings was working, maybe too well, but then he just disappeared again.”

  “Well, what are you gonna do now?” Lynnette nodded at the laptop.

  “Still gonna try to find a pattern with all the missing Silenced people. If I can figure out how they’re being chosen, maybe we can catch Alexander in the act.”

  “You don’t think he’s gonna keep coming after Jay?”

  “Maybe. He might eventually give up and move on to an easier target. You know, one that isn’t being guarded by a bunch of old gods.”

  “Unless there is just something super special about Jay that they want,” Lynnette mused, licking her spoon.

  “That’s what I need to find out.”

  “Hey, guys!” Milo announced, bustling into the kitchen with his arms full of groceries. “Holy crap, our house is turning into a freakin’ immortal convention!”

  “Hey, babe!” Lynnette greeted. “Just drop those off on the table.”

  “I got everything you asked for,” Milo said, obediently setting the bags down next to Sloane’s laptop. “Even the goat cheese curd!” He paused, adding quietly, “But it’s the store brand….”

  There was a loud thwack as Lynnette smacked the counter with her spoon, her spine going rigid and her jaw clenching.

  Milo’s eyes went wide and the air tensed instantly.

  “Store brand is fine,” Lynnette said with a deep sigh, slowly relaxing and picking up her spoon again.

  “I can totally go back,” Milo offered, approaching her side now that the fear of being smacked with a spoon had passed.

  “This is fine. Thank you, baby doll.” Lynnette rewarded Milo with a kiss on his cheek before returning to the stove to check on the food.

  “So! Any luck?” Milo asked.

  “With?” Sloane said dryly.

  “Well, anything!”

  “I’ve just started.” Sloane pulled up the city police department’s website. “I’ll let you know as soon as I do!”

  “Good luck, dude!” Milo patted Sloane’s shoulder. “If you need any help, just holler!”

  Sloane found the missing persons section on the police department’s webpage and began to compile a list of everyone missing who was also Silenced.

  From there, he searched missing persons in the state and then all the neighboring states. The list was growing fast, and he still couldn’t see a pattern emerging. He kept going, tuning out the noise of Lynnette’s exuberant cooking and Milo nervously fussing over their godly guests.

  He declined to join them when it was time to eat, far too focused on his research. There had to be a commonality between all the missing people, and Sloane was determined to find it.

  By the time Lynnette was cleaning up the dining room from her grand feast, Sloane had completely lost track of how many hours had gone by.

  “Still at it?” Loch asked, kneeling beside him with a fond smile.

  “Yeah,” Sloane said, finally taking a break and stretching his arms. It was dark outside, and he’d barely noticed. He was stiff from sitting in the same position for so long. “Crap, what time is it?”

  “Time for you to pay attention to me.” Loch took Sloane’s hands and pulled him up to his feet. “You’ve been ignoring me for hours, and I simply won’t have it.”

  “I’ve been working.” Sloane lazily draped his arms around Loch’s shoulders. He kissed Loch’s pouting lips, teasing, “Aww, I’m so very sorry for offending the mighty god of thieves.”

  “As you should be,” Loch fussed.

  “I’m sure I can think of a way to make amends,” Sloane offered, leaning in for another kiss.

  “Mmm,” Loch hummed pleasurably. “So can I. Several in fact, and none of them involve clothing.”

  “Oh? Tell me more.”

  “Me, you, a tub of ice cream, and a new episode of Hell’s Kitchen,” Loch replied with a salacious eyebrow waggle.

  “That sounds amazing.”

  “The contestants have to taste test all different types of meat on this episode.”

  “All different types, huh?” Sloane grinned, loving how excited Loch was. “Mmm, that sounds really great. Probably make them try to identify alligator or ostrich or… huh.” He stopped, the gears in his head slowly turning. “Types.”

  “Yes?” Loch cocked his head. “Different types. As in, not the same.”

  “Wait…. Holy crap! That’s it!” Sloane exclaimed, jerking out of Loch’s arms and scrambling for the laptop. “Loch, you’re a genius!”

  “Well, obviously.” Loch paused for a moment. “And I’m a genius in this particular instance because…?”

  “Type! Blood type!” Sloane typed as fast as he could, rapidly explaining, “All the Silenced people who were reported missing have the same blood type!”

  Milo poked his head into the kitchen, calling out, “You guys okay?”

  “I’m a genius!” Loch called back happily.

  “The missing Silenced people all have the same kind of blood!” Sloane brought up the list of names he’d compiled and pointed. “They’re all AB negative.”

  “No shit?” Milo came over to look and scratched his head. “Well, I’ll be damned. What about Jay and our Silenced buddy?”

  “According to his donor card from the Hazel Medical Research Institute, Jay is also AB negative,” Loch said, holding up a card he’d just pulled out of a slim wallet. “Hmm, or it could be a plus sign. Whoever wrote this has atrocious penmanship.”

  “You stole his wallet?” Sloane snatched the wallet away.

  “Yes, but it wasn’t much fun.”

  “Yeah, stealing from a man who’s been put to sleep by a crazy cat person isn’t very sporting!” Sloane griped, looking over the donor card.

  “Well, this pretty much confirms your theory, right?” Milo asked.

  “I would need to test their blood to be sure.” Sloane reached into his pocket to show Milo the samples he’d taken earlier. “This is Alexander’s, and I can get some from Jay to confirm what his card says.” He smiled innocently, saying, “Now, if only we knew someone who had access to laboratory equipment….”

  “Sloane,” Milo warned.

  “It’s just a little type-and-screen test,” Sloane pleaded.

  “Oh no!” Milo turned to flee the kitchen.

  “Oh yes!” Sloane sprang up to his feet and followed him into the living room.

  Urilith and Galgareth were sitting on the couch with Jay’s uncon
scious body stretched out over their laps, Urilith mindlessly petting his hair. Lynnette was perched on a nearby armchair, all of them sipping wine and chatting.

  The conversation came to a halt as Milo came running in with Sloane and Loch hot on his heels.

  “Oh my stars!” Urilith blinked in surprise. “What is going on?”

  “Come back here, Milo!” Sloane yelled, trying to corner him between the couch and the wall. “All the times I helped you out! Every time I saved your butt at work!”

  “This is exactly what you got fired for, dude!” Milo ran around the other side, scrambling to stay out of Sloane’s reach. “You can’t be serious right now!”

  They circled each other like wild animals, Sloane keeping Milo trapped behind the sofa with nowhere to go. Every time Milo tried to escape from one side or the other, Sloane was there to meet him.

  “Look,” Sloane pleaded, “I just need one little tiny test! Okay, maybe two to make sure Jay’s blood type on his donor card is correct because we can’t read it, but I swear that’s it!”

  “Dude!” Milo argued. “Not only could I lose my job, but did you forget that we got some crazy Alexander guy out there looking for Jay?”

  “So?”

  “How the hell do you think he’s looking for him? There’s no tracking spell on Jay, so he’s probably trying to divine his location! Once we take his blood outside of these wards, it’ll fuckin’ ping! Blood that you want me to carry into the damn police station!”

  “Come on!” Sloane argued. “Divining doesn’t always work anyway, and the signal from a little tiny bit of blood will be really weak! Isn’t Jay your friend?”

  “We’re not that friendly! I could get into so much trouble! And that’s only if I survive!”

  “Oh?” Loch asked excitedly as he hovered behind Sloane. “Is this illegal?”

  “Definitely,” Sloane replied with a grin. “Very illegal.”

  “That’s it!” Loch confirmed. “We’re doing it. I’m a trickster god, and it is my desire to partake in illegal mischief.”

  “Oh, come on!” Milo whined helplessly. “You can’t play the god card on me!”

  “What illegal shenanigans are you guys getting into?” Lynnette reached for the wine bottle to refill her glass.

  Urilith shook her head, a yellow tentacle reaching out to still her hand.

  “I need Milo to run one teeny, tiny little test on Alexander and Jay’s blood to confirm my theory,” Sloane explained. “There is a very small risk of Alexander coming after us, but we’ll be in and out of the lab before anyone even notices!”

  “This sounds like fun!” Urilith exclaimed, patting Lynnette’s arm and turning her attention to Sloane. “May I accompany you?”

  “Like, like for protection?” Milo perked up.

  “Of course, Mother,” Loch said sweetly. “It’ll be a field trip! Mortals take those to places of education to stimulate their minds when they’re young.”

  “Okay, it’s not that I don’t love the idea of having an epic godly entourage to protect my precious, vulnerable mortal body,” Milo said, “but two gods? Really? You know you guys kinda… stand out.”

  “Come here, fuzzy one,” Galgareth said, beckoning for Milo to lean over the couch. “If you’re so worried….”

  Milo tilted his head in, cautious but obedient.

  One of Galgareth’s tentacles unraveled from her arm, reaching out and bopping Milo right in the middle of his forehead.

  “Ow!” Milo cringed. “What was that?”

  “My blessing!” Galgareth said cheerfully. “I’m a goddess of serendipity! Happy accidents! Trust me, you’ll all be fine!”

  “Right!” Milo was miserable. “Your blessing is gonna help me sneak two gods and a formerly terminated employee into one of the most highly secured areas of the department while they try to protect me from a Silenced dude with the power of another god who might try to kill us, all while I’m carrying a sample of said Silenced dude’s blood and the guy he’s trying to kidnap to test. What could possibly go wrong?”

  “Sweetie pie?” Lynnette cooed, her voice strained with obvious impatience.

  “Yes?” Milo blinked owlishly.

  “Trust in the gods.”

  Chapter 7.

  TRYING TO coordinate sleeping arrangements with three old gods, three witches, and one sleeping Silenced mortal in a very small house was challenging, to say the least.

  Lynnette and Milo tried to give Urilith their bedroom, but she declined the generous invitation. She opted to stay in the guest bedroom with Galgareth and share a small futon. After all, she said, neither of them really needed to sleep, and they were going to stay up talking.

  That left Sloane, Loch, and Jay.

  The couch pulled out into a full-size mattress, and Loch’s offer for all of them to snuggle together wasn’t sitting well with Sloane. The obvious awkwardness of Jay’s unconscious body in the mix was just too damn weird.

  “What if we made a little blanket nest for him?” Loch suggested, gesturing to the rug.

  “It seems mean to just dump him on the floor.” Sloane frowned. “I really want to sleep in our own bed, but I don’t think it’s safe to go home right now.”

  “Well, what if we take a little trip?” Loch left Jay on the couch and took Sloane’s hand. “Somewhere… else? Somewhere special?”

  “Where?” Sloane asked suspiciously.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Eh. Most of the time.”

  “Close your eyes.”

  Sloane groaned dramatically but closed his eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He suddenly felt as if he was falling, squeezing Loch’s hand and hanging on tight. The world spun, his head got light, and a faint breeze moved over his body.

  The vertigo departed, and his feet were back on solid ground, his eyes quickly opening to find they were now standing in a lush garden. It was in full bloom, all the flowers colorful and fragrant, and the air was cool. Despite the late hour, there was a blueish glow that illuminated the sky and cast everything in a dreamlike hue.

  “Where are we?” Sloane looked all around in awe. “Is this another one of your little god hideouts?”

  “Mm-hm.” Loch walked through the garden, leading Sloane alongside him. “There used to be hundreds of places like this, you know. Little bits of paradise hidden between our worlds for gods and mortals to play in.”

  “Like that waterfall made out of wine?” Sloane chuckled, recalling their adventures there quite fondly. Since the conclusion of their first case, Loch would often whisk Sloane away and show off these secret places. It was usually—no, always—to entice Sloane into having sex with him. “Oh! Or how about the old temple with all the erotic paintings? That place was fun.”

  “Exactly so.” Loch laughed, parting some bushes and ushering Sloane forward.

  Sloane stepped through, but he stopped short when he saw a large bed in the middle of a field of luminous flowers. It was surrounded by tall trees whose leaves formed a canopy above, the branches draped with strings of glowing blue orbs.

  The flowers seemed to shift and light up at Sloane’s presence, and he swore that the bed looked happy to see them.

  “Loch,” Sloane gasped. “It’s… it’s beautiful!”

  “Do you really like it?” Loch asked eagerly, taking Sloane’s hand and kissing his wrist. “I was going to give it to you as a surprise….”

  “Give it to me?”

  “As a wedding present.” Loch smiled shyly. “Your very own little world. I can teach you a spell that’ll bring you here whenever you’d like.”

  “Oh, Loch! I love it! Thank you!” Sloane hugged Loch’s neck and kissed him sweetly. “Thank you so much. It’s gorgeous. It’s just… I don’t even have the words.”

  Loch’s eyes turned dark, sparkling with stars as he swung Sloane up into his arms. “Of course, my beautiful Starkiller. I would give you a thousand worlds just like this one to see you smile.”

  “Just one is
more than enough!” Sloane promised.

  The flowers turned and moved toward them as Loch carried him to the bed. The sheets were soft as silk, the pillow perfectly fluffed, and it was big enough to host at least a dozen sleepers.

  Sloane stretched out across it, groaning happily. “Oh, this is the most comfortable bed ever! Mmm….” He suddenly lifted his head, narrowing his eyes and accusing, “Wait, did you guys have weird orgies here? Is that why the bed is so freakin’ big?”

  “Probably,” Loch replied, lying down beside him and whisking their clothes away with a thought. “I can’t say that I ever participated in any orgies here, but I did change the sheets.” He winked. “Just for you, my love.”

  “You’re so thoughtful.” Sloane snuggled close and pressed their bare bodies together. He traced the line of Loch’s tentacles as they unfurled from his arms to wrap around him. “Thank you. Really. This is amazing.”

  “I love you,” Loch said, his eyes still dark and sparkling. His tentacles glided down Sloane’s body, a slitted one rubbing between his cheeks. “Mm, now I have to think of something else to give you as a wedding present.”

  “No, you don’t.” Sloane’s breath hitched as the tip of the thick tentacle pressed against his hole. His face was getting hot, and the warmth quickly traveled south, his cock growing hard between them. “Mmmph, I don’t have anything for you yet, and I don’t think I’m ever going to top a private little world as a gift.”

  “You’ve already given me everything I could possibly want,” Loch promised, some of his smaller tentacles curling around Sloane’s thighs.

  “There has to be something.” Sloane gasped as Loch rolled him onto his back. He could feel himself getting wet, and his pulse climbed as the tentacle at his ass pushed inside of him.

  “Only you,” Loch said, bowing his head down for a soft kiss. “All I want is you.”

  Sloane moaned, the kiss lingering as the tentacle slowly thrusted. It was so impossibly thick, throbbing as it pushed farther into his body. His cock was aching, leaking against his stomach and flexing when the tentacle curled deep within. “Oh, fu… oh, Loch….”

  Loch kept Sloane’s legs firmly parted, kissing along his chest and beneath his chin, murmuring, “My love… tell me what you need.”