TRUSTING JAKE: MONTGOMERY HEROES OF ALASKA

by Becca Monroe

  She shook her head. “I can’t talk about it. Please don’t ask me to.”

  I lifted off her and watched her surround her body in the comforter.

  “You think it will change how I feel about you? Because it won’t. Nothing will change what I feel for you, or what is happening between us. Trust me,” I assured.

  “This was a mistake,” she whispered, climbing out of my bed.

  I stood and pulled her into me. “Delaney, it’s a scar. Look,” I turned my back to her and removed my shirt, displaying the large scars on my lower back.

  “See, I have them too. There are also two scars from bullets on my upper right thigh, and my right hamstring area has a pretty burn on it from some shrapnel after being too close to an IED explosion. They riddled my body with scars, and my mind has moments when its scars become visible. Do you not want me because of them?” Her eyes found mine as I turned around to face her. “Am I ugly to you now that you’ve seen I’m no longer a physical picture of perfection?”

  “God, no, I would never think of you as anything other than handsome. The scars don’t change that.”

  I reached for her hand and pulled her close to me. “Neither do yours, but I want to know how you got it. I’m assuming that is a scar from a burn. Please tell me. It won’t change anything.”

  Her eyes diverted from mine. “We have a busy day tomorrow, I think it’s best to just call it a night and get some rest.”

  Watching her walk out of my bedroom almost killed me. I didn’t want her to leave, didn’t want to lose the closeness we were discovering together, but her eyes held fear and uncertainty. Her fingers trembled as she held the surrounding comforter, almost like a shield to protect her from my touch.

  “Delaney, I’ll give you a few moments to get to your room, get dressed in your nightclothes, and into bed. Then I’m coming in and holding you, just as I’ve done every night for the past week. I won’t push for more, but I won’t let you run away from me, from us.”

  She left without a glance or word in my direction. Delaney was running. Everything about her was screaming fear, and I wasn’t about to let that happen.

  Delaney

  Jake was perfect to me. Yes, there were physical scars and sometimes he would wake from a dream, that I knew was more of a nightmare for him. He struggled with the losses he’d seen in the war and losing his old girlfriend. He never spoke about her, but in such a small town, gossip was easy to come by.

  I pulled on my nightshirt and panties and crawled into bed, hoping Jake would change his mind and stay in his bedroom, but also praying he wouldn’t. He made me want to trust in him and want to experience intimacies with him I had forgotten about for far too long. Crossing that line would be dangerous and could lead him into something that he didn’t deserve.

  My eyes squeezed shut a few moments later when he entered the room and climbed into bed next to me. His face was at the back of my neck when I felt his breath on my skin and his quiet words in my ear. “Can I hold you? I promise, no pushing for anything else. Just let me show you you’re safe with me.”

  I turned to face him and couldn’t stop the tears from forming in my eyes.“I don’t want you to get hurt,” I confessed to him, as a sob tore through me.

  “Hey, that will not happen,” he said, pulling me into his arms. “Baby, tell me what has you so scared. Please, I want to help.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t.”

  His hands stroked my hair as he let me lay in the safety of his arms. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a good day,” he said, and I drifted off to dream that his words would ring true.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Jake

  Delaney tossed and turned all night, unable to get much sleep. She finally passed out about four this morning, and I wasn’t about to wake her up to worry about cooking for everyone, so the guys were handling it.

  Josh spent the last fifteen minutes studying me, and it was annoying.

  “You alright today? You seem a little tense,” he finally asked.

  I glanced between Mike and my baby brother and shook my head. “Delaney has a scar on her left hip. It’s a large one, looks like a burn. Only a year old, maybe even less, from my personal experience.”

  Mike did his signature low whistle to voice his concern. “You ask her about it?”

  “Yes, and that didn’t go well. She completely shut down and wouldn’t share anything with me, said she didn’t want me to get hurt.”

  “You? Hurt? She doesn’t realize what a badass you are,” Josh said, laughing.

  Normally I would laugh at his humor, but worry filled my mind. “She’s scared. I mean, fear that I haven’t seen in someone’s eyes since my battles overseas.”

  Josh’s eyes fell to the floor with worry. “I put a call into Captain Monahan. He is checking around for me and said he should have something in a couple of days. He said the agency’s resources are busy with a missing agent so could be longer than normal.”

  “Let me know as soon as you hear from him.”

  “You know I will, but until then. I don’t think we should leave her alone,” Josh said.

  I looked at Mike. “If you’ll allow me to use your cabin, I’d like to take her up there for the weekend. Get her out of here. If someone shows up, she won’t be here and anyone asking around about her will raise flags for you guys.”

  Mike peeked down the hall, keeping his voice low.

  “You can have use of the cabin whenever you want, you know that, but I don’t feel good about you two being up there all alone. Badass that you are and all,” he joked. “The person who has her running scared doesn’t seem harmless. If shit goes south and you two are fifty miles away, we can’t help. I’d feel better if Josh, and I were up there with you. We can take Josie, make it look like friends heading up, but still give you guys the master suite for privacy.”

  “I agree with Mike,” Josh said. “You can’t be out that far alone.”

  “David and his deputies can cover the restaurant and monitor things in town, but until we know who we’re dealing with, we need to keep her safe and sound. You two don’t mind doing this? I’m not sure about putting Josie in danger by having her with us,” I said.

  Josh smiled when the doorbell rang. “Ah, that has to be her. I called her and asked her to bring the chips and dip early so I can have some before everyone else hogs it. And, I would rather she was with us, so I know she’s safe,” he said. We couldn’t help but raise our eyebrows at each other, curiosity getting the best of us.

  “It’s six-thirty in the morning,” Mike said.

  I laughed, knowing the real reason he called Josie. “He missed her. Cut the kid a break, old man.”

  Josh laughed. “Whatever. I like chips and dip.”

  “Uh-huh,” Mike said, laughing as Josh went to the front door.

  He turned his attention to me. “You guys getting serious? I’m guessing so since you saw her scar. You think that’s a good idea until everything’s out on the table?”

  Mike wasn’t wrong for asking the question. I laid awake most of last night, wondering what the hell I was doing. If I continued down this path with Delaney and she left, my heart would never recover, but if she stayed and something happened to her, that would be just as devastating.

  “I don’t know when it shifted or how, Mike, but yes, I’m falling in love with her and she wants to be mine. She wants to tell me the things she’s running from, but she’s scared. I can’t lose her. Losing Callie almost killed me, losing Delaney would shatter me in a way I’d never be able to put back together. I won’t lose two women I love in my lifetime.”

  Mike sighed and leaned against the counter. “Jake, Callie lied to you for a long time. She didn’t cheat on you the way you think. Callie married that guy.” Mike said it as though he was telling me the weather report.

  “What?”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but it’s been years and you’re still treating the memory of her like she
was Joan of Arc and she wasn’t. That girl cheated on you and married that guy three days after you left for your last deployment. She was pregnant with his baby, one of the many facts she kept from you when you were home on leave. Callie Marks was a lying, manipulative human being who used the love you had for her to get her bills paid, a roof over her head, and all she had to do was fake how she felt for a couple of weeks a year when you would come home. They were seeing each other the entire time you were in the military, and yes, she was his wife and pregnant when they died.”

  Josh and Josie walked into the kitchen as I grabbed Mike’s shirt in my hands and pushed him against the wall. “You’re lying.”

  “Whoa, hey now, it’s Thanksgiving. What’s this about,” Josh said, getting in between us.

  “I just told him the truth about Callie and Dakota,” Mike said.

  “Today?” Josh asked.

  “He won’t hear it otherwise and he loves Delaney, thinks she’s the same as Callie. She’s not heartless like Callie. Delaney is a far better human being than she was,” Mike said.

  I shoved my finger in his face. “Watch it, Mike, I loved her.”

  Mike nodded. He knew how much I loved her, everyone knew. “Yes, you did. You loved her more than anyone ever could have, probably should have, but she didn’t love you back. She used you. You deserve to know the truth. If you don’t believe me, ask Josh, or hell, ask Josie. She knows the truth too. Everybody does. You do too, but you just don’t want to see it.”

  I turned to Josh. “Was she married to him when she died?”

  He nodded. “I tried to tell you right after it all happened, but you wouldn’t hear anything bad about her. She was a horrible person. That doesn’t mean she deserved to die, but it doesn’t mean she was a saint either and you’ve kept her on a pedestal for years. One she didn’t belong on.”

  Everything in my world shifted to something I didn’t recognize. “The woman I was engaged to was pregnant and married to someone else and nobody told me.”

  “We tried. Hell, mom even tried to tell you on the last phone call you made home, but you told her not to talk bad about the woman you loved. Anytime we tried to tell you the truth about what was happening with her, you’d shut us down,” Josh said.

  He was right, I knew he was right because I’d always held a blind spot for Callie. I saw what I wanted to see, not the reality of how things were.

  Delaney walked into the kitchen.

  “Nobody woke me?” She whispered.

  My eyes went to hers, and I wondered if I was doing the same thing with Delaney.

  “Excuse me for a moment,” I said and walked out the front door, toward the garage.

  Delaney

  I watched Jake walk out the front door, upset. “Did something happen?”

  Mike shook his head, looking a little sad. “Nothing recent.”

  “I’ll go talk to him,” Josh said.

  Josie shook her head no. “I think we should give him a few minutes. It’s a lot to take in.”

  My heart told me he was hurting.

  “Is he okay?” I asked, my anxiety growing at the thought of him being hurt.

  Josie took my hand. “The boys told him the truth about Callie.”

  “Oh, and it upset him. She died a while back, right?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Josie said. “She wasn’t a wonderful person and lied to Jake about a lot of things, he is just realizing the reality of it.”

  Mike took my hand and led me over to the kitchen island. “Jake said you were restless last night so we let you sleep, but we did your herb rub on the bird just like the instructions said and put it in the oven. Now, what do you need us to do?”

  I glanced out the window to the garage where the music was blaring.

  “He’ll be okay, just give him a few,” Josh said.

  By noon, Mary, David, and a few other friends arrived. Two televisions moved into the family room and were showing a football game and the Thanksgiving Day parade. Laughter danced through the house. People who cared about each other were having a great time. The afternoon was moving along in every way I wanted, except Jake had gone into his bedroom thirty minutes ago and hadn’t come out.

  All the food was as ready as it could be, and the bird would be ready in an hour. Mike was carving up the one we deep-fried earlier. I would only need to finish the sweet potatoes and dressing. I wanted him here, cooking with me. “Mary, can you monitor everything for a moment? I want to check on Jake.”

  “Sure, sweetheart, go ahead,” she said.

  I knocked on his bedroom door, with no response, so I let myself in. The shower in the bathroom was on, steam pouring out from the open door. The thought of Jake naked, under the running water, did things to my insides I didn’t want to admit.

  I stepped into the steam-filled room, uncertainty filling my voice. “Jake?”

  He opened the shower door and looked directly at me.

  “I’m sorry for interrupting you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  His eyes held mine for a moment, then looked me up and down.

  “I like the dress,” he said. “It suits you.”

  I smiled. “Thanks. Are you okay?”

  “Yes, can you hand me a towel from the cabinet behind you?” He asked, shutting off the water.

  He stepped out of the shower and grabbed the towel from me, wrapping it around his waist. My eyes raked over his body like a wolf staring down its next meal. The muscle and definition of his chest and abs made me want to run my fingers down them and follow with my lips. What was it about this man that struck everything so feminine in me? He made me want to explore all my secret desires and fantasies. I wanted all of them to come to life with him.

  He ran his hands through his hair, then caught me staring, a smile crossing over his face “See anything you like?”

  I stepped towards him, nodding, but unable to speak.

  “Do you want anything from me, or are you just looking?” He asked, his eyes on my lips.

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  He leaned his head down, bringing his mouth to my ear. “Yes, you want something from me. Or yes, you’re just looking?”

  The strength of his body was enveloping me, like the steamrolling through the room. “I want to touch you,” I admitted.

  He smiled again, taking my hands and placing them on his damp chest. “Then touch me, Delaney. Take what you want. Take anything.”

  The intensity in his gaze deepened as my fingers stroked over his wet skin, and I loved the way goosebumps appeared on his chest when I circled my fingers around his nipple. I scratched my nails down his stomach, until they reached the edge of the towel, then traced the thin line of material near the perfect V his abdominal muscles formed there. His breath caught, and he gasped when I placed kisses on his chest.

  “Delaney,” he whispered. It wasn’t a tone of passion, but of warning.

  My kisses continued until I made my way down to where the towel hung low on his hips. His arms came under mine and he lifted me up, carrying me out into the bedroom and laying me on his bed. Jake’s hands went under my dress and pulled my panties down to my ankles, his gaze staring into mine the entire time. I let him. There was nothing I wanted more than his hands on me, and to feel close to him. He was hurting, and I wanted to take that away, even if only for a few moments.

  He kneeled between my legs as they dangled off the bed. “I want my dessert before dinner,” he whispered, a devious look in his eyes. His arms wrapped around my thighs, and he pulled me down closer to him until my ass hung off the edge of the mattress. Embarrassment washed over me, at the realization that he was staring at the most private part of my body. I moved my skirt to cover myself up.

  “No baby, let me see you.” He took my hands in his and threaded his fingers through mine. His mouth kissed the skin on my inner thigh, and I felt the heat between my legs increase.

  “Jake,” I moaned, wanting more of his mouth on me.

  “I’m givin
g you what you want, baby,” and with those words, his mouth came down on my sex. The heat I experienced moments before evaporated into a raging inferno building inside of me. His tongue circled my little bundle of nerves, as one of his hands’ released mine, and his finger teased my opening. He lifted his head for a moment, and I watched in hunger, as he licked his finger wet from tip to knuckle, then slid it inside me. His eyes lit up when my back arched, and I bucked under the feel of his finger deep inside my tight channel. “More, Jake, more,” I begged.

  “As you wish, baby,” he said, as his mouth covered my nub again, teasing me until my walls tensed around him. I needed this moment with him. No matter what happened, I needed to share this with Jake. His tongue continued to lap at my juices as they flowed over his fingers. “Yes, baby, come for me. God, you’re perfect,” he whispered.

  I bit my lip and cried out to him softly, as my hands held his head securely between my legs.

  Jake

  Her body shuddered around me as I tasted her sweet nectar on my tongue. Nothing could have prepared me for this time with Delaney. She differed from anyone I had been with before. Being with her made everything real and brought a sense of purpose to everything I had gone through in my life. Finally, everything made sense.

  Her hands and thighs were shaking when I crawled up her body and pulled her close to me, kissing her lips. “You are so beautiful.”

  “That was surprising,” she said, trying to catch her breath.

  “I would say I’m sorry, but it would be a lie,” I confessed.

  She laughed and swatted at my chest playfully. I caught her hand and placed a kiss on the inside of her palm. “Can we kick everyone out and just stay right here for the rest of the day?” I asked.

  Her eyes went wide, and she smiled. “Absolutely not, Jake! We invited them.”

  My lips found her neck, then her lips again, and my hand found the perfect mound between her thighs once more. Her moans grew and my cock responded. My fingers teased the lips at her opening, feeling her wetness there.