Win Some, Lose Some

by Shay Savage

  I looked up at her face, not even bothering to withhold my grin. She echoed my expression as she pulled me back up to her lips, which were warm and wet. As my tongue tangled with hers, I felt her hands on my back again, sliding down to my waist and then around to my stomach. Her fingers traced a line from my navel up to the center of my chest, and I rolled more to my side to give her better access.

  All of this was a lot more comfortable on my bed.

  With one hand on the back of her neck, I brought her mouth back to mine. I kissed her softly as she fingered the slight grouping of hairs in the center of my chest and ran her hand farther down. She outlined my stomach muscles and then ran her finger down the thin line of hair above the button of my jeans, stopping right at the hem.

  “Can I touch you?” Mayra’s lips moved to my jaw and kissed up the side. I turned my head to give her better access while I tried to figure out what she was asking.

  “You are touching me,” I told her, snickering.

  Mayra’s breath puffed out against my neck.

  “I mean…lower,” she said. She pressed her fingertips against the skin at the base of my stomach for emphasis.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to keep myself from hyperventilating. My hips kind of rose up on their own, and I wasn’t even going to try to hide how excited my body was at the very thought. How many times had I imagined it? Mayra’s hands on me…her mouth. I’d lost count.

  “Please,” I gasped, keeping my eyes screwed shut.

  My hand tensed on her neck as I felt her fingers leave the bare skin of my stomach and slowly move over the top of my erection. I held my breath and tensed the muscles in my thighs as Mayra gripped me through my jeans.

  A moment later, some of the pressure was relieved as she opened the top button and tugged at the zipper.

  “Mayra…” I moaned.

  “Too much?” she asked.

  I could only shake my head.

  “I want…I want you to…” I couldn’t have formed a coherent sentence if someone had told me my life depended on it. My head was swimming in a big bowl of stew, and I still couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes. I was quite sure if I actually watched her with her hand on my dick, I would just come all over the place.

  She started touching me through my boxers but couldn’t really get her hand inside. She pushed the fly of my jeans open and shoved both them and my boxers slightly down my hips as my cock sprang out from the cloth. She was quick about it, and I didn’t have time to think, react, or protest.

  I was far beyond protesting at that point anyway.

  With the tip of one finger, she circled the head and then followed the path of a vein down to the base.

  “Your skin is so soft,” she said with a whisper that almost sounded reverent.

  My skin burned under her touch, and I could feel sweat gathering at the base of my neck and the small of my back. I still couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes, but the feeling of her fingers on me was really quite enough as it was. Her fingers slipped around me, and she slowly stroked upwards.

  “Like this?” she said softly.

  I couldn’t move or respond at all. I was sure if I did, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself, and I was also pretty sure I was supposed to be able to last longer than twelve seconds.

  But it felt so…fucking…good.

  Warmth from her hand moved from the base of my cock to the tip and back down again. I couldn’t stop my hips from rising off the bed and pushing against her fingers as she moved up and down. The tension in my legs and back was incredible, and the tingling sensation from deep in my stomach dropped abruptly to my balls.

  I grunted, gasped, and tried to form a sound that resembled Mayra but totally failed. Her hand gripped me a little harder as I bucked against it and felt the rush of sensations cascade over my body in a shudder.

  My eyes flew open as I realized what the hell had just happened and that I had come all over Mayra’s stomach. Before I had a chance to panic over it, Mayra giggled and shoved herself up and over me. She dashed off to the hall bathroom and came back rubbing a hand towel over her belly. She crawled back over me and quickly wiped me down with the damp cloth, her cheeks turning pink in the process.

  I might have been embarrassed if I hadn’t suddenly realized my mistake.

  “Shit, shit, shit,” I muttered.

  “What’s wrong?” Mayra asked.

  I could hear the alarm in her voice, and I cringed.

  “What is it?” she asked again.

  “I fucked up,” I whispered.

  “What do you mean? Matthew, it’s fine. Just needed a towel; that’s it.”

  “No,” I said with a shake of my head, “it was all out of order.”

  “What’s out of order?”

  “I was supposed to make you come first.”

  “What?” Mayra’s eyebrows knitted together. “What are you talking about?”

  “The book,” I said quietly.

  “What book?”

  “The book that…um…that said I’m supposed to make you come first.”

  Mayra’s eyes stayed narrowed.

  “What is the name of this book?” she demanded.

  “Oh…um…” I stammered. “It’s…um…called She Comes First.”

  I couldn’t believe I actually told her what I had been reading, so I shoved my head under my pillow to hide.

  “Stop that!” Mayra laughed and tried to pull the pillow away from me, but I held tight. “Now you are just being silly!”

  She dug her fingers into my sides, which made me break out into a fit of laughter. Being ticklish is not something I had really thought about. Tickling me wasn’t the sort of thing anyone had ever tried to do before. My mom had tried when I was little, but it never produced much of a reaction. But like everything else, it was different with Mayra.

  I twisted around and grabbed for her hand, which is when she grabbed my pillow and tossed it across the room. I reached up to catch it, but I missed. Instead of catching the pillow, I got tangled up in my pants, which were still half way off my hips, and nearly fell off the bed. Mayra held tight to my forearm to keep me off the floor and continued to laugh her ass off.

  Once I had righted myself again, I yanked up my pants so I was at least mostly covered and grabbed Mayra around the waist. I pulled her over the top of me and began to tickle her sides. Mayra started to shriek and try to get away, but I held tight to her and attempted to not be totally obvious about watching her boobs bounce around as she struggled.

  Everything inside of me felt energized and tight. It wasn’t unlike the feeling I sometimes got right before going into a panic attack, but at the same time, I couldn’t stop smiling. Mayra continued to laugh; her boobs continued to bounce, and I felt incredibly, incredibly…

  Happy.

  Pulling her against my chest, I tucked my head into the space between her shoulder and her neck and pressed my lips to her throat—a silent announcement to the end of tickles. Her arms draped around my shoulders, and she pressed her lips against my forehead. With a deep inhale, I snuggled against her skin and just held her—still and quiet.

  With my eyes closed and the scent of her skin in my nose, I felt calm and warm. Different things Mayra had done for me—everything from the first ride in her car and the haircut to cakes and hand-jobs—flowed through my head and added to the warmth I felt just under my skin. It wasn’t just that she had enough patience to wait for me to get my shit together when she was ready for anything and everything now, and it wasn’t just that she did things for me without really wanting anything back or expecting me to figure out the right words to express my gratitude. It wasn’t just her apparent desire to see and touch me or her willingness to reciprocate.

  The warmth came from somewhere else.

  As I sat on my bed and held her close to me, I knew what it was. It was different than what I felt for my parents or Megan, Travis or Bethany—more intense, tangible, and undeniable.

  “I love you,”
I said aloud as the realization came into my head.

  Mayra went completely still, and for a moment, I was sure I had fucked up in some kind of major way, but I wasn’t sure how. Expressing anything was often uncomfortable and strange, but expressing emotion was more difficult than talking about anything else. It was too abstract, too conceptual. What if someone asked me why? Or wanted further explanation or description, and I couldn’t supply one?

  I was starting to wish I hadn’t said anything and was even thinking about how I could take it back or make it sound like I had said something else or even how quickly I could retrieve my pillow and hide when Mayra spoke.

  “Do you mean that?” she asked. “You’re not just saying that because I got you off?”

  I knew I had screwed something up. Something in one of the books said declaring love right after orgasm was rarely seen as sincere. I took a deep breath and raised my head to look into her eyes for a moment.

  “I mean it,” I said emphatically. “You…what you’ve done for me…you…you’re…you’re everything to me. Everything good in my life is about you. You make me want to try harder and do things I never would have considered before, and I know even if I fail, you’ll still be there to help me get back up afterwards.”

  I had to look away, and it was very difficult not to go back to staring at her breasts again.

  “I will,” Mayra promised. “I’ll always be there to help you. I love you, too.”

  “You do?” I looked at her and tried to figure out if she meant it or if it was the kind of thing you just said because someone else said it first. As soon as our eyes met, I knew she was serious. Hers were too dark, too intense for anything other than the absolute truth, and the nod of her head was just redundant.

  “You’re my hero,” she said quietly as she looked into my eyes. I had to look away—the intensity of her eyes and everything boiling around inside of me was too much.

  “You’re my heroine.” I nestled once more against her throat.

  Within minutes, we were kissing and touching again. Mouths on mouths, skin against skin. For a while she was on top of me, straddling my waist and kissing down my chest. It was intense and wonderful. We rolled, enjoying the freedom of movement the bed allowed, and I gave her breasts more attention before moving down her stomach.

  My mouth brushed slowly and lightly over her skin as I kissed across the edge of her jeans. I had to stop and inhale frequently because the scent of her was different here—deep, musky, and raw. It was addictive, and every time I inhaled, my cock responded.

  Mayra reached down and unbuttoned her jeans. She nodded to me, and I slowly pulled them over her legs, leaving her pink panties in place. I couldn’t look back at her face, so I stared at her bare legs and swallowed a few times to try to get myself together.

  I wasn’t sure where this was going. I wasn’t sure where I wanted it to go.

  Actually, that wasn’t true. I knew what I wanted to do, but it scared the shit out of me.

  With my jeans still unbuttoned and unzipped, it wasn’t as uncomfortable as it often was when I was with Mayra or thought about her a little too much. My dick bulged out between the teeth of the zipper but at least stayed inside my boxers. When I moved back up Mayra’s body to catch her mouth with mine, my erection rubbed deliciously against her thigh.

  Mayra moaned, so I rubbed against her thigh again.

  She placed her fingers under my jaw and tilted my head to hers. She met me with parted lips and searching tongue. As she kissed me, she shifted her hips underneath me, which caused my cock to move from the top of her thigh to between her legs.

  Her panties were still on, but I felt the heat from her center. It kind of felt like it does when you walk up to a bonfire on a cool night, when the front part of you is suddenly very hot, but your back stays cool. While my dick felt like it could catch fire at any moment, the rest of me went cold.

  There was nothing keeping us from having sex except Mayra’s thin satin panties. If I pushed those down, I could be inside of her in a matter of seconds. Was I ready to do this? Was she? I knew she thought she was, but I still had my doubts for both of us. I fought against impending panic.

  Then I realized we really couldn’t.

  “Mayra…I don’t…I mean, I don’t have any condoms or anything like that.”

  “I’m on the pill,” she said softly, and I had to look up at her eyes to see if she was still teasing me. She nodded. “I just started taking them after…um…after my last period. It’s been long enough that I should be protected.”

  “Should?” I really didn’t like that word all of a sudden.

  She shrugged.

  “It’s never a hundred percent,” she said, “but it’s about as good as it gets.”

  “You have to remember to take them every day,” I said, recalling the section about birth control in one of the books my aunt left for me, “and at about the same time.”

  “I set an alarm on my phone.”

  The one thing Travis had told me about sex was to always use a condom, no matter what. Yeah, she could be on birth control, but condoms were still supposed to be used. Always.

  I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t have everything I needed, and if we did it now, I was going to screw it all up. After I screwed it up, I was going to be in panic mode until she had her next period. For me to get out of panic mode, I would have to ask her about her periods, and there was no way in hell those words were every going to come out of my mouth.

  “I…I don’t…I mean…”

  “Shh…” Mayra took her fingers and placed them over my lips. “Not now. Not today.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

  “Don’t be,” Mayra replied. With her fingers under my chin, she brought my lips to hers. “I know it will be you. I don’t care if we wait a few days or a few weeks—I know it will be with you, and I know it will be exactly how it is supposed to be.”

  I closed my eyes and pressed my lips against the top of her breast. I could feel her heart beating beneath my touch. My arms wrapped around her, and I felt her grip my hair with one hand and my back with the other. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say to her, and she didn’t seem to mind that I said nothing. As long as I could find a way to show her how much she meant to me, I didn’t have to worry about finding the right words.

  Win. So much win!

  Chapter 16—Poke the Fish

  I woke to Mayra’s kisses along my jaw and neck.

  “I have to leave in about a half hour,” she said quietly as I stirred. I glanced over at the window and saw it was dark outside. The clock read eleven-fifteen.

  “I fell asleep,” I said. It was a totally pointless statement, and I felt my ears heat up.

  Mayra didn’t say anything; she just kept kissing my throat.

  “Gotta get up,” I said. Mayra moved over and I scrambled out of the bed. Ever since I was a kid, I always had to pee as soon as I woke up. My jeans slid down as I stood up, since they were still undone at the top, and I had to yank them up at the sides to race off to the bathroom. After I flushed the toilet, I looked at my face in the mirror as I lathered up my hands.

  Did I look any different?

  I didn’t think so. I wondered if I would look different when we really had sex. I ran my tongue over my teeth and decided I needed to brush them before going back to my room. I did so quickly and then retraced my steps.

  I intended to make good use of the half hour we had left, so I jumped into the middle of the bed and covered Mayra with my body. I crushed my mouth to hers, and she gripped my shoulders to pull me close. Her still bare breasts pushed up against my chest.

  “Mmm…minty!” Mayra exclaimed with a laugh as she pulled away.

  “I brushed my teeth,” I told her. It was another stupid, obvious thing to say. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of pointless sentences. “So…um…do you want to stay here until you have to leave?”

  “I don’t know where else I would go,” Mayra respond
ed. She narrowed her eyes a bit. “Unless you’re sending me home early.”

  “No!” I cried out. I wrapped my arms around her and pressed her down against the mattress with my body. She laughed and wrapped her legs around my waist.

  That was all it took.

  Mayra glided her fingers over my cheek and jaw, down my throat, and over my chest. I rose up a little to give her more room to move, but she tightened her grip with her legs, effectively pushing my erection right up against her.

  I closed my eyes tightly and tried to figure out if I wanted to let myself enjoy the combination of her fingers on my abdomen and my cock pushed up against her. If I didn’t…well, it was kind of painful not to pay attention to it, really. Then again, if I did pay attention, I was likely to make another mess.

  I was not going to do that—not without making her come first. I wasn’t sure if it was a rule or not, but I wanted to at least try.

  “Mayra?”

  “Hmm…?” She pushed her hips up against me, and I nearly lost it. I shook my head to gain some clarity.

  “Can I…?” I realized I had no idea what I was supposed to say or how I was supposed to say it. Can I touch you? Can I finger you? Can I make you come?

  I was clueless.

  Mayra reached up to cup my face and tilted my head to look at her. I could only focus on her eyes for a second, but I saw her smile. She took my hand in hers and brought it up to her face. She held it there for a second and then slowly moved it down.

  Past her neck.

  Over her breast.

  Paused at her stomach.

  I felt the edge of her panties on my fingers, and closed my eyes.

  “Watch,” she said. Her voice was soft but still commanding. I opened my eyes and looked down between our bodies as she tucked my fingertips underneath the hem and pushed my whole hand down into her underwear.

  I felt soft curls of hair, then warm, wet flesh.

  “Fuck,” I muttered involuntarily. Mayra only smiled as she brought two of my fingers together and pushed them between her legs. I could feel everything.