True Colors

by Amy Knupp

  “Want to sit for a while?” he asked, gesturing to the dry sand.

  She lowered herself to the ground, stretching her legs out in front of her, knees up so she could hug them, and Drake sat right next to her, nearly touching but not quite.

  He gazed out at the endless water, the half-moon casting just enough light to make out the vast ocean as something more than a dark void. To the right, near the horizon, there was a light on a ship of some kind, and straight ahead was an island that looked uninhabited from here, just a dark blob in the night. The scene had a way of making him feel smaller, making the problem that had been plaguing him for a couple of weeks—or really, half his life if you wanted to get technical—seem less significant.

  But it was still a problem.

  “Drake?” Mackenzie broke into the silence. “Talk to me.”

  He craned his head back and registered the vastness of the sky above them, the infinite number of stars twinkling at them, and forced himself to start talking, even though he was still working things out in his mind.

  “I’m turning thirty soon,” he said.

  “I know.”

  “I still act like I’m twenty.”

  She didn’t say anything but he could almost hear another I know hanging in the air.

  “My mantra has always been no settling down,” he said when she didn’t bail him out. “Complete opposite of you, right?”

  “Settling down makes it sound like I want to get married, get a dog.”

  “Do you?”

  “Not today,” she said with a light laugh. “Someday, for sure. Do you?”

  “I’ve always tried not to think about it.”

  “Because no settling down,” she said. “What’s so bad about settling down? Not the marriage kind, even, but what’s preventing you from taking this job?”

  He watched the light on the ship, trying to discern whether it was getting anywhere or just sitting still. “I don’t trust feeling settled,” he said after a while. “That stability kind of thing you’re going for…” He shook his head. “Unlike you, I had a pretty stable childhood. Until bam! One day I didn’t.” Those words were hard to force out because, damn, did they make him feel vulnerable.

  “When your dad died?” she asked quietly.

  He swallowed around the lump that popped up in his throat. This was why he hated talking about this, why he avoided thinking about it. But after seeing closeup how Mackenzie lived her life, how much meaning her job had for her, how effective she was at it… She had purpose, and that was something he respected the hell out of. Purpose beyond having a good time. She was doing something with her life, and though he’d told himself for all these years he didn’t want that, opportunity and age and his own cowardice were closing in around him.

  “That was the big one,” he said finally.

  She put her hand on his leg and leaned her head on his shoulder. Drake pulled her to his side and squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t remember ever needing another human as much as he needed to touch Mackenzie right now, to feel that she was there, with him and for him.

  “It must’ve been awful,” she said.

  “We went from this mostly normal family with our Dad owning a growing company, our Mom working part-time so she was always around when we needed her, a nice house, baseball all the time, and then in a heartbeat, it was all stolen away.”

  She squeezed his leg and tucked her head in a little tighter against him.

  “I didn’t know how to handle it,” he said, his voice thick with fifteen-year-old grief that was resurfacing with a vengeance.

  “I don’t think anyone would.”

  “Zane and I…we were there for each other, but he didn’t know any better than I did how to handle something so big and terrible. We mostly just stuck together and stayed quiet. But I knew he was there, you know? Ez too.”

  Drake and Zane had had lots of other friends back then, but when their dad died, a lot of them backed off. He understood now they probably hadn’t known how to handle his and Zane’s loss, what to say. Ezra had been different.

  Mackenzie nodded. “My brother’s a good guy.”

  Shit, that part wasn’t easy to talk about either—not since he’d broken Ez’s trust.

  “That wasn’t the only time he stuck by me when bad shit happened,” he said, his voice thick and low. He expelled another loud breath. “When we were seniors in high school, Ez, Zane, and I had everything planned out. We were all going to college together in Memphis. We had a suite together in the dorm, baseball scholarships for Zane and me, had it all lined up. We’d been talking about it for years. But a couple months before graduation, Zane informed me he’d changed his mind. Without me knowing it, he’d applied to multiple military academies and had even gone on interviews without telling me.”

  “Ouch,” Mackenzie said. “And then just guess what one day?”

  “Pretty much. I’d had no idea he was remotely interested in the military. He left me out of the whole process, like he didn’t trust me with it. I like to think I would’ve been happy as hell for him if I’d had any idea. But he just…blindsided me. It felt almost like a betrayal. We’ve worked through stuff, but we’re not as close anymore.”

  “I wondered. I thought maybe it was just because he’s far away and has been for years.”

  “It’s more than that,” Drake said. He shook his head, unable to explain better. “Anyway, I’ve made a point of not getting too attached to anything since. Not jobs, not women, nothing, really. Quantity over depth. I’m not proud of it. I know it’s stupid or immature or whatever you want to say, but it’s my way of dealing with having the rug pulled out. If you never let the rug settle in the first place, it won’t get yanked and fuck up your life or your head.”

  “I get it,” Mackenzie said thoughtfully. “You lost your dad, and in a way, you lost your twin.”

  He inhaled a shaky breath and nodded, steamrolled by emotion he hadn’t allowed himself to feel for ages.

  “I’m sorry, Drake. That’s rough.”

  They were quiet for a couple of minutes, with only the sound of the gentle waves on the shore breaking the silence. Then Mackenzie sat up a little straighter. “So that’s why the twenty thousand women now,” she said, her tone light, with a hint of smart-ass thrown in.

  Drake gave a half laugh in spite of himself and shrugged.

  “There’s an upside of never feeling settled in your life, I guess,” she said more seriously. “You’re not worried about it getting yanked away. You can’t lose what you never had.”

  “I must seem like an ass, complaining about losing something you’ve never felt like you had.”

  “Not at all. God, your dad died. Mine is barely in my life, but at least I know he’s out there and I could talk to him if I needed to.” The only thing Drake knew about her father was that he was a contractor for the military who worked overseas and that he only talked to his kids once or twice a year.

  He caressed her shoulder, again glancing up at the sky, wondering how his life would be different if his dad had never gotten in his car that day. A pointless line of thoughts to go down, he supposed. “So now I need to commit to something. To this job. Just…stop worrying that if I go all in, something will ruin it or take it away.”

  “Take everything else out of the mix. Does the idea of building up this division of North Brothers appeal to you? Can you see yourself doing the work? Planning home gyms, working with vendors, overseeing trainers?”

  His blood rushed with a thrill at the thought of it, in spite of his trepidation. “I can,” he said.

  Mackenzie straightened and pivoted on her butt in the sand to face him. “When I went to Ellie’s with you, I could see it. You loved doing that. When we walked into her pool house, you lit up. And you’re good at it. She’s told me more than once how happy she is I hooked her up with you.”

  “It’s what I know.”

  “It’s more than that. It sparks you. If you ignore the fear—which is perfectly
understandable, by the way—and just dive in, I have a feeling you’ll be too busy to think about what could go wrong or how it could all fall apart.”

  “Maybe.”

  “And the best part is, you have the backing of a large, successful company. North Brothers Sports isn’t going away any time soon, so it’s almost like there’s no risk.”

  Instantly, his brain locked up and he only felt his heart thundering, his body temperature shooting up into an inferno of panic. It took an inordinately long time for him to get a breath of air in, and his senses went blank to everything outside of him. He didn’t hear the waves, didn’t smell the sea air, didn’t see the stars or the ship. He just…shut down. Then he felt Mackenzie take his hand, squeeze it with both of hers, dragging him out from that black void. After sucking in a deep breath, he forced out the words, “I could fail.”

  He lay back on the sand, as if the fear was too heavy, too much for him to stay upright. Mackenzie followed suit, stretching out on her side, propping her head up on her hand, peering at him. His eyes were closed, but he could feel her inspection.

  “You could, but you won’t,” she said. “You’re an expert in fitness equipment and workout programs. Mason will give you the tools to learn all the other aspects. He wants you to succeed as much as you want to succeed. And if, for some reason, something goes wrong, you’ll be okay. You’ll have this successful company and your family on your side, figuring things out with you.”

  Mason had said a lot of the same things last week after the board meeting. Drake did trust his CEO brother, hell, all of his brothers, to have his back. And Drake did know his stuff. He lived the subject every day, between his own fitness and his job as a trainer.

  It occurred to him that he was just throwing up obstacles now, dragging his feet, being a damn pussy. Time to quit that shit. He sat up quickly, his heart racing, because he knew saying it out loud to Mackenzie was as good, as binding, as saying it to his brother. “I’m going to tell Mason yes. As soon as we get back.”

  Mackenzie popped up next to him.

  “Just dive in,” he said, noting the ship had definitely made progress and was farther to the right.

  “Yessss,” Mackenzie said, her smile audible.

  Drake switched his gaze from the distant orange light to her beautiful face, his insides a jumble of emotions—exhilaration, fear, relief, and even a kernel of excitement. Before he could sort it all out, he felt Mackenzie’s lips on his. Her soft, sweet, seductive lips…even when she wasn’t trying to seduce.

  What the hell was he doing wasting time with life decisions when he only had this woman for two more nights?

  He pushed the job stuff and the life stuff far, far away and maneuvered Mackenzie onto his lap without losing contact with her mouth. Then he stood, with her in his arms, both of them laughing at the awkwardness and then quickly forgetting it as she threw her arms around him and kissed him again. Lips still locked with hers, Drake trudged off through the soft sand, heading for her place and another night of pure magic with the most beautiful girl in the world.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  In the wee hours of Thursday morning, Mackenzie awoke in the big, messed-up bed in her casita, alone, naked, and disoriented…and sore in places she hadn’t known she could be sore in.

  Her next cohesive thought was of Drake, and a dopey private smile crept across her lips. That man… the things he could do with his…

  Wait. Where was Drake?

  She forced her eyes open and registered two things. One, it was dark. Still the middle of the night. Two, Drake was…in the shower?

  As she sat up, she heard the water shut off and the glass shower door open. Had he lost his mind? They’d showered together last night as soon as they’d come in from the beach, deciding to wash all the sand off instead of taking it to bed with them. It had turned into the most unforgettable shower of her life, and her body woke up at the memory. Her brain lagged behind.

  Collapsing back on the mattress, she opted to wait for him to emerge and explain himself. No way was she crawling out of these high-thread-count sheets for anything. They’d stayed up so late that they shouldn’t be conscious for another few hours at least.

  Her eyes had drifted shut and she’d curled into the massive king-sized pillow when the bathroom door opened, letting light into the room. Drake walked out, fully dressed in athletic pants and a lightweight pullover hoodie.

  “You’re awake,” he said, sounding fully, ridiculously alert.

  “Why?” was all she could manage.

  “Time to get up, sleeping beauty. We’ve got plans.”

  With her eyes closed again, she reached out for the nightstand, fumbled around, feeling for her phone. Once she laid her fingers on it, she grabbed it, pulled it close to her face, and squinted one eye at it. “Five oh nine in the morning? Did you get your time zones confused?”

  He laughed, a sexy rumble in his chest that was much too far away for her liking. What was wrong with waking up gradually, with the sun shining in, and spending a leisurely morning in bed? It was their last day on the island. Shouldn’t they be taking advantage to the fullest?

  “I told you we have a full day of plans and that we’d start early,” he said.

  “There’s early and then there’s stupid.”

  Again, he laughed, apparently in a chipper, happy mood, and she briefly wondered if maybe she could send him on his chipper, happy way to do the plans himself. But then it hit her that it wasn’t only their last day on the island. It was their last day together. Shoving aside the uneasiness that thought brought with it, she gathered her willpower and, in one sudden motion, threw her sheets off, popped up, and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Naturally, one foot got tangled, and the sheet came with it, so she had to work to free it.

  “God, you’re gorgeous, and I might be the dumbest fool alive to not just crawl back in bed with you and spend the day seeing how many different ways I can make you scream my name.”

  She felt an uncharacteristic heat in her cheeks, and she laughed quietly, because she had done plenty of screaming his name in the past several hours. With a burst of energy, she stood and flung her arms out to her sides, thinking to tempt him. “This could be yours. All day.”

  The heat in his eyes as he gazed at her naked body had every nerve ending in her girl parts tingling in anticipation and need and hope.

  With a growl, Drake took three measured steps to her, peered down at her with heavy-lidded, lust-filled eyes, and seemed to consider her proposition.

  “You were sent to me by the devil himself,” he said with a mischievous grin, and then he wound his arms around her, palmed her butt with both of his large hands, and hoisted her up into his arms.

  When she thought he would tumble onto the bed with her, he carried her into the brightly lit bathroom instead and set her on the cool granite countertop next to one of the sinks. The only reason she didn’t complain was because he didn’t step away. Instead, he kissed her as she locked her legs behind him. He ran his thumbs over both her nipples, sending a shock of urgency to her core.

  “God, Drake,” she breathed out.

  With a sexy laugh, he said, “Not screaming, but we’ll get there.”

  He kissed her lips while he continued to knead and tease her nipples, and she arched into him, aching for more. She’d learned this week that he was an incredible, unselfish lover, but his favorite thing to do was drag out her pleasure, tease her till she couldn’t breathe before treating her to a cataclysmic orgasm or three. She attempted to rein herself in a degree now and revel in his thoroughness, because it seemed he was just getting started as his lips trailed slowly to her neck.

  Lowering his mouth to one breast, he laved the nipple, suckled, teased, drawing everything inside of her taut and tight and needful. Mackenzie furrowed her fingers through his hair with one hand, supported herself with the other on the counter behind her, and threw her head back toward the mirror. He made her feel like a goddess as he worship
ped her body with his mouth and hands. Every last cell was awake now, heedless of the way-too-early hour, buzzing with need, begging for his attention.

  He rose back up so that his mouth teased her ear, giving her the best kind of shivers, and then he said, “Apologies in advance for rushing this. We’ve got a schedule to meet.” At the same time, she felt his hands on her upper thighs, and then he gently spread her legs farther.

  When his finger dipped inside of her, she arched involuntarily and gasped. Her eyes were closed, but she felt him staring at her. She opened them to confirm it, and his heated, adoring look was one she would never forget for all of her days. The corners of his lips tugged up into a smile, and then he dropped to his knees on the hard tile floor and his mouth joined his fingers at her center and her eyes rolled back in her head as she gave herself over to him and thanked the universe for his “rushing.”

  It turned out, when Drake was determined and on a schedule, he could make her scream his name in less than sixty seconds. It took her longer to recover and come back to herself as he made his way back up her body, peppering her with kisses and playful nibbles along the way. He veered to the side of her neck and her ear again, and when he lightly sucked the lobe between his lips, an aftershock shook her whole body and she moaned.

  “You’re incredible,” he whispered, and she let out a weak, surprised laugh.

  “I haven’t been anything yet.” She reached to his pants, felt the hard bulge through the fabric, and tried to pull him to her by the waistband, but he held steady and straightened.

  “No time right now. We need to get you in the shower. And by we I mean you, because if I got in with you, we wouldn’t come out for hours.” He stepped across the bathroom, reached in the shower, and turned the water on, then came back and pressed a kiss to her lips.

  “Are you sure?” She grabbed for his pants again, unable to imagine what could be so important that he was turning down her attention, thinking maybe she could tempt him.