Life-Enriching Education

by Marshall B Rosenberg

  Deci, E.L., and Richard Ryan. Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior. New York: Plenum, 1985.

  Rewards are just “control through seduction.”

  Dennison, George. The Lives of Children. New York: Random House, 1969.

  DeVries, Rheta, and Betty Zan. Moral Classrooms, Moral Children: Creating a Constructivist Atmosphere in Early Education. New York: Teachers College Press, 1994.

  In this book, the authors express that children must actively come to their own awareness of ethical meaning.

  Dewey, John. Experience and Education. New York: Collier Books, 1938.

  Eisler, Riane. The Chalice and the Blade. San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1987.

  Riane Eisler is a member of the General Evolution Research Group, the World Academy of Art and Science, and the World Commission on Global Consciousness and Spirituality. She is President of the Center for Partnership Studies (www.partnershipway.org)

  Eisler, Riane. The Power of Partnership. Novato, CA: New World Library, 2002.

  Winner of the 2003 Nautilus Award.

  Eisler, Riane. Tomorrow’s Children. Boulder, CO: Westview, 2000. Riane Eisler applies her research on the partnership and domination models to education and was selected as the top ten of the most important books on the future by the Journal Futures Studies.

  Ellis, Albert, and Robert A. Harper. A Guide to Rational Living. Hollywood, CA: Wilshire Book Co., 1961.

  Farber, Jerry. Student as Nigger. New York: Paperback Books, 1970.

  Freire, Paulo. Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York: Herder & Herder, 1971.

  Fromm, Erich. The Revolution of Hope. New York: Bantam Books, 1968.

  Gatto, John Taylor. A Different Kind of Teacher. Berkeley, CA: Berkeley Hills Books, 2001.

  Gardner, Herb. A Thousand Clowns. New York: Random House, 1962.

  Glazer, Steven, ed. The Heart of Learning: Spirituality in Education. New York: Penguin Putnam, 1999.

  Gordon, Thomas. Parent Effectiveness Training. New York: Wyden, Inc., 1970.

  Grammer, Kathy and Red Grammer. “Teaching Peace.” Smilin’ Atcha Music, ASCAP, 1986.

  Hampden-Turner, Charles. Radical Man. Cambridge, MA: Schenkman Pub. Co., 1970.

  Holt, John. How Children Fail. New York: Pittman Publishing Corp., 1964.

  Howe, Ruell. Miracle of Dialogue. New York: The Seabury Press, 1963.

  Illich, Ivan. N.r., n.p., n.d.

  Katz, Michael. The Irony of Early School Reform: Educational Innovation in Mid-Nineteenth Century Massachusetts. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1968.

  Kelley, Earl C. In Defense of Youth. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1962.

  Kohl, Herbert. The Open Classroom. New York: Vintage Books, 1969.

  Kohn, Alfie. Beyond Discipline: From Compliance to Community. Alexandria, VA: Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development, 1996.

  “Ethical sophistication consists of some blend of principles and caring, of knowing how one ought to act and being concerned about others.” (p. 29) “Rewards, like punishments, can only manipulate someone’s actions. They do nothing to help a child become a kind or caring person.” (p. 34) “What we have to face is that the more we “manage” students’ behavior and try to make them do what we say, the more difficult it is for them to become morally sophisticated people who think for themselves and care about others.” (p 62) “In saying that a classroom or school is a ‘community,’ I mean that it is a place in which students feel cared about and are encouraged to care about each other.” (p. 101)

  Kohn, Alfie. Punished by Rewards, New York: Houghton-Mifflin, 1993.

  Lantieri, Linda, and Janet Patti. Waging Peace in Our Schools. Boston: Beacon Press, 1996.

  “Our society needs a new way of thinking about what it means to be an educated person. We can no longer turn away from the emotional fabric of children’s lives or assume that learning can take place isolated from their feelings. We need a vision of education that recognizes that the ability to manage our emotions, resolve conflicts, and interrupt biases are fundamental skills—skills that can and must be taught.” (p. 3) “We believe in a new educational model, one which includes social and emotional learning from a multicultural perspective. In this model, schools help young people become caring individuals who participate as citizens in a democratic process within a pluralistic community.” (p. 7)

  Mager, Robert. Preparing Instructional Objectives. Palo Alto, CA: Fearon Publishers, 1962.

  Marshall, Max S. Teaching Without Grades. Corvallis: Oregon State University Press, 1968.

  May, Rollo. Man’s Search for Himself. New York: W. W. Norton & Co., 1953.

  George A. Miller. “Psychology as a Means of Promoting Human Welfare.” American Psychologist, December 1969, Vol. 24, No. 12.

  “The most urgent problems of our world today are the problems we have made for ourselves. They have not been caused by some heedless or malicious inanimate Nature, nor have they been imposed on us as punishment by the will of God. They are human problems whose solutions will require us to change our behavior and our social institutions.”

  Orr, David W. Earth in Mind: On Education, Environment, and the Human Prospect. Washington, D.C.: Island Press, n.d.

  “If today is a typical day on the planet Earth, we will lose 116 square miles of rain forest, or about an acre a second. We will lose another 72 square miles to encroaching deserts, the result of human mismanagement and over population. We will lose 40 to 250 species. It is worth noting that this is not the work of ignorant people. Rather, it is largely the results of work by people with B.A.s, B.S.s, LL.B.s, M.B.A.s, and Ph.D.s.”

  Piaget, Jean. The Moral Judgment of the Child. New York: Free Press, 1965.

  “Moral autonomy appears when the mind regards as necessary an ideal that is independent of all external pressures.”

  Postman, Neil, and Charles Weingartner. Teaching as a Subversive Activity. New York: Delacorte Press, 1969.

  Postman, Neil. The End of Education: Redefining the Value of School. New York: Vintage Books, 1996.

  “We could improve the quality of schooling overnight, as it were, if math teachers were assigned to teach art, art teachers science, science teachers English. My reasoning is as follows: Most teachers, especially high school and college teachers, teach subjects they were good at in school. They found the subject both easy and pleasurable. As a result, they are not likely to understand how the subject appears to those who are not good at it, or don’t care about it, or both.”

  Prather, Hugh. Notes to Myself: My Struggle to Become a Person. Lafayette, CA: Real People Press, 1970.

  Raths, Louis E., Merrill Harmin, and Sidney B. Simon. Values and Teaching. Columbus, OH: Charles E. Merrill Pub. Co., 1966.

  Rogers, Carl R. “Some Elements of Effective Interpersonal Communication.” From speech given at California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, CA, November 9, 1964.

  Rogers, Carl R. “The Interpersonal Relationship in the Facilitation of Learning.” in Humanizing Education: The Person in the Process. Edited by Robert R. Leeper. Washington, D.C.: Association for Supervision & Curriculum Development, National Education Association, 1967.

  Rogers, Carl R. “What Psychology Has to Offer Teacher Education” in Mental Health and Teacher Education. Dubuque, IA: William C. Brown Co., Inc. Forty-Sixth Yearbook, 1967.

  Rogers, Carl R. Freedom to Learn. Columbus, OH: Charles E. Merrill Co., 1969.

  Rosenthal, Robert, and Lenore Jacobson. Pygmalion in the Classroom: Teacher Expectations and Pupil’s Intellectual Ability. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston, 1968.

  Sax, Saville, and Sandra Hollander. Reality Games. New York: Macmillan Co., 1971.

  Silberman, Charles. Crisis in the Classroom. New York: Random House, 1970.

  Tolstoy, Leo. Tolstoy on Education. Translated by Leo Weiner. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1967.

  Vallet, Robert. The Remediation of Learning Disabilities. Belmont, CA: Fearon Publishers, 1967.

&n
bsp; Vallet, Robert. Programming Learning Disabilities. Belmont, CA: Fearon Publishers, 1969.

  Van Witson, Betty. Perceptual Learning Disabilities. New York: (Columbia) Teachers College Press, 1967.

  Whitehead, Alfred North. The Aims of Education. New York: Free Press, 1957.

  “There is only one subject matter for education, and that is Life in all its manifestations.”

  Willis, Mariaemma, and Victoria Kindle Hodson, Discover Your Child’s Learning Style, Rocklin, CA: Prima Publishing, 1999.

  “ … higher level reasoning skills are achieved precisely when we allow (people) to learn through (their) strongest modality, whatever it may be.” (p. 154)

  Wink, Walter. The Powers That Be. New York: Doubleday, 1998.

  Zahn-Waxler, C., M. Radke-Yarrow, E. Wagner, and M. Chapman, “Development of Concern for Others.” Developmental Psychology. 1992. 28, 127, 135.

  “Even children as young as 2 years old have (a) the cognitive capacity to interpret the physical and psychological states of others, (b) the emotional capacity to affectively experience the other’s state, and (c) the behavioral repertoire that permits the possibility of trying to alleviate discomfort in others. These are the capabilities that, we believe, underlie children’s caring behavior in the process of another person’s distress. Young children seem to show patterns of moral internalization that are not simply fear based or solely responsive to parental commands. Rather, there are signs that children feel responsible for (as well as connected to and dependent on) others at a very young age.”

  Index

  A

  accountability vs. grades, 87–90

  action language, 36–38

  advising, 56

  agreeing, 56, 57

  Albom, Mitch, 4

  altruism, as educational goal, 97–98, 107

  Anderson, JoAnn, xvi–xvii, 58–59

  apologizing, 56

  “attention deficit disorder” diagnosis, 127

  authority, respect for, 112

  autonomy needs, 31

  B

  beanbag game incident, 47–49

  Bebermeyer, Ruth, 16–18

  “behavior disordered” diagnosis, 126

  C

  cause vs. stimulus of feelings, 29–30

  celebration needs, 31

  The Chalice and the Blade (Eisler), 109–10

  choice factor in learning, 70–71, 81–82

  Chuang-Tzu, 51

  claiming understanding, 56

  Clark, Kenneth, 127–28

  clear action language, 36–38

  community, interdependent learning, 4, 97–101

  competition for rewards, 4, 98

  conflict mediation with NVC, examples, 5–9, 74–76, 118–25

  conflict resolution, Life-Enriching and Domination models compared, 111–12

  criticism, 14, 16, 30, 61

  “culturally disadvantaged” diagnosis, 126

  D

  Dalai Lama, 97–98

  Dark Ghetto (Clark), 127–28

  demands vs. requests, 38–39, 43–46

  diagnoses, 30, 44, 126–28

  disagreeing, 56

  Domination model

  choice factor in, 70–71

  described, 2–3, 67–68, 109–13

  language of, 11–12, 126–28

  reward and punishment in, 14, 128–34

  status quo perpetuation as goal, 135–36

  “do-nothing room” incident, 114–18

  duty, as motivator, 2–3, 113

  “dysfunctional family” diagnosis, 126

  E

  educational resources, 101–04

  Eisler, Riane, 109–10

  “emotionally disturbed” diagnosis, 126, 128

  empathy. See listening empathically

  evaluation process, 11–15, 83–90

  evaluation vs. observation, 16–22

  explaining, 56

  F

  fear, as motivator, 2–3, 16, 68

  feelings

  identifying and expressing, 23, 29

  needs and, 29–30

  practice exercises, 26–28

  vocabulary list of, 24–25. See also listening empathically

  folders, student progress, 105–06

  force

  “for his own good,” 71–72

  protective vs. punitive, 4, 128–34

  G

  geographical community resources, 104

  grades and tests, 4, 87–95

  Grammer, Kathy and Red, 61

  guilt, as motivator, 2–3, 16, 113

  H

  “hyperactive” diagnosis, 127

  I

  instructional materials, 101–03

  integrity needs, 31

  interdependence needs, 31

  interdependent learning community, 4, 97–101

  interpreting, 30, 56

  The Irony of School Reform in America (Katz), 135–36

  Israel, Life-Enriching Schools, xvii, 99, 118–19

  “I’ve never seen a lazy man” (Bebermeyer), 16–18

  J

  judgments, 2, 11–15, 30, 56, 126–28, 129

  justifying, 56

  K

  Katz, Michael, 135–36

  L

  labeling, 11–12, 30, 44, 128. See also diagnoses; judgments

  language

  of Domination systems, 11–12, 126–28

  of performance evaluation, 11–15

  of requests, 36–38, 45

  vocabulary of feeling states, 24–25. See also Nonviolent Communication

  “learning disabled” diagnosis, 126, 128

  learning objectives, Domination model, 68

  learning objectives, mutually

  agreed upon, 3

  choice factor, 70–71, 81–82

  communication skills for, 69, 74–80

  evaluation process, 83–90

  examples, 72–73

  Life-Enriching purposes of, 68

  students’ fears, 82

  teachers’ fears, 71–72

  learning units, 101–02

  Life-Enriching model, described, xviii, 1–4, 97, 107, 109, 111–13

  listening empathically

  vs. agreement, 57

  attempts at, 55–57

  with full presence, 51–52, 58

  practice exercises, 63–66

  for requests, 54–55

  and time constraints, 57–58

  for unexpressed feelings or needs, 60–61, 74–80, 92–95

  verbal reflection, 53–54, 58

  M

  materials, instructional, 101–03

  mediation process, 5–9, 74–76, 118–25

  Mildred, 58–59

  Miller, George, 109

  moralistic judgments, 2, 11–15, 30, 126–28, 129

  motivators, 2–3, 16, 68, 113

  N

  needs

  feelings and, 29–31

  identifying, 31–32

  practice exercises, 33–35, 77

  Nonviolent Communication (NVC) components

  overview, 3, 15–16

  feelings, identifying and expressing, 23–29

  listening empathically, 51–66

  needs, identifying, 29–35

  observation without evaluating, 16–22

  requests, 36–46

  Nonviolent Communication (NVC) objective, 16, 43, 76

  “no” response to requests, 74–80

  O

  obedience vs. self-discipline, 112–13

  objectives. See learning objectives

  obligation, as motivator, 2–3, 113

  observation without evaluating

  overview, 16–19

  examples, 18–19

  practice exercises, 20–22

  P

  Page, Bill, xvi

  paraphrasing, 57. See also listening empathically

  parents as educational resources, 102–03

  parroting vs. listening empathically, 58

  partnership
model. See Life-Enriching model

  partnership relationships, in setting objectives. See learning objectives

  peacemakers, 118–19. See also mediation

  performance evaluation, 11–15, 83–90

  permissiveness, 68, 118

  personalizing, 56

  physical nurturance needs, 31

  playground conflict mediation incident, 5–9

  play needs, 31

  positive action language, 36–38

  The Power of Partnership (Eisler), 109–10

  “power-over” tactics, 67, 110–11

  The Powers That Be (Wink), 110–11

  praise, 14

  Prather, Hugh, 59

  presence, as empathy component, 51–52, 58

  probing, 56

  protective use of force, 4, 128–34

  punishment and reward, 2–4, 14, 16, 68, 113, 118

  punitive use of force, 128–34

  R

  receiving empathically. see listening empathically

  requests

  vs. demands, 38–39, 43–46

  listening for, 54–55

  phrasing, 36–38

  practice exercises, 40–42

  resources, educational, 101–04

  reward and punishment, 2–3, 14, 16, 68, 113, 118, 128–34

  “right”/“wrong” judgments, 11–15

  Rockford (Illinois)

  Life-Enriching Schools, xvi–xvii, 136–38

  Rogers, Carl, 81–82

  rules and regulations, 4, 111, 118

  S

  Schwartz, Morrie, 4, 89

  secular ethics, 97–98

  “See Me Beautiful” (Grammer), 61

  self-discipline vs. obedience, 112–13

  Shaheen, Tom, xvi–xvii

  shame, as motivator, 2–3, 16, 113

  Shapiro, Miri, xvii

  silence, listening empathically to, 60

  songs, 16–18, 61

  “special needs” diagnosis, 126

  “spinach theory,” 71–72

  spiritual communion needs, 31

  stimulus vs. cause of feelings, 29–30

  students as teachers, 98–01

  sustaining teams, 135–39

  sympathizing, 52, 56

  T

  teacher as travel agent, 100–01

  teaching units, 101–02

  tests and grades, 4, 87–95

  time constraints, 57–58

  Tuesdays With Morrie (Albom), 4, 89

  U

  understanding vs. empathy, 56

  units of learning, 101–02

  universal human needs, 31

  V