Black Hearts Red

by Leigh, Anne

  “The only hot date I’m planning is with those two cuties on the other side of this floor.” The NICU was on the west wing of the hospital, and Ali was in the special postpartum unit on the East Wing.

  “I love you, Matty,” she said while looking at me with her gorgeous eyes. She was wearing a simple white gown today. Her mom came in everyday to help her change into a new dress. I used to help her, but ever since the babies were born, I went to every twin feeding, so Aunt Sedona stayed with Ali when I was with the babies.

  Sometimes Mom would sit with me while I watched Lian suck on a plastic nipple to train her for the real feeding.

  Sometimes Dad watched the babies with me while the nurses did their thing with them.

  Kassius visited three times, but now that his competitions were in high gear, he FaceTimed as much as he could. The same with Nic. He was present for the delivery, but the NFL couldn’t be stalled so he had to leave.

  Our friends were around as much as they could. Geneva and Sofia came to visit, especially when Ali was put on bedrest during the last stretch before the planned delivery. Greyson came too, and he and I patched things up – he loved Ali and I could only be grateful to him that he was there when I wasn’t.

  I climbed on the hospital bed with her, she still had a hard time moving because of the C-section, so I helped her prop up a pillow so she could pump. The show of her nipples made me hard. Everything about her made me hard, but now more so than ever. We hadn’t had sex since way before the night she fainted during the SWF Fight Night. Sex wasn’t a good exercise when your heart was overloaded with a mitral valve condition, and had the job of pumping for the babies inside of you.

  That didn’t stop Ali from giving me exceptional hand jobs and blowjobs, and as for me, I gave her extra sensual kisses, but we made sure not to tax her heart so much. It was a good thing she was attached to monitors.

  Tomorrow was her open heart surgery.

  It was when the doctors would crack her chest open, fix the problem, and stitch her right back up so she could come back healthier.

  At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

  What her parents and my parents and our friends kept telling me.

  “Ali…baby. Thank you for giving me two beautiful children to love,” I started to talk as I held her face in my hands. These past few months had been so trying. Our patience was constantly tested. Our love continuously challenged. And I didn’t believe in God before – but now, I believed that there was someone watching out for me, for her, and for our babies.

  “As soon as you get out of here, after you’ve recovered from all the surgeries your body has endured, I’m going to give you a solid fucking that you might just become pregnant again,” I said as my beautiful woman laughed. She thought I was joking. I might be, about the pregnancy at least because we had two beautiful kids to love and cherish now, but the fucking, nope – I was serious about that.

  I pulled out the box that I’d bought when her sister and Geneva were with her and my boys were in town. She was about twenty-six weeks then. I’d already known I was going to marry her.

  Not because she was pregnant.

  Which I made very clear to her dad, Uncle Zander, when I had asked for her hand.

  To which Uncle Zander said, “Treat her right. Always.”

  Ali’s eyes misted when she saw the ring.

  Actually two rings.

  The first one was a custom ring from a Swiss jeweler, a solitaire ring with a princess cut diamond center paved with brilliant cut diamonds. The diamonds surrounding the ring appeared to be violet in the right lighting. The four carats would never amount to how much I loved her, but for now, it would do.

  “You make my life worth it. At my lowest, the thought of you protected me even when I was making the wrong choices, and at my highest you let me take charge and never hindered me. Your support means everything to me, and I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate life than you being my wife.”

  Her tired face transformed into a glistening vision of tears and awe. “Oh my god. It’s – their – beautiful. Is that your grandmère’s ring?”

  “How do you know?” I questioned. I’d never shown her the other ring.

  It had been safely ensconced in France, at my grandfather’s house. I’d asked for it when Ali and I had started officially dating.

  Yes, even back then, I knew.

  The old man didn’t hesitate in giving it to me, but he did manage to squeeze a promise out of me.

  That one day when I got married, when I gave this engagement ring to the woman I chose to spend my life with, he’d be invited.

  I’d agreed because I figured Mom and Dad would be so happy seeing me get married that they might just ignore the fact that I invited my grandfather.

  “I saw it on her hand,” she said, wonder in her voice. You’d think after this whole health ordeal, Ali would look less attractive. That her weariness would suck the beauty out of her. But to me, the maturity that she’d shown throughout every crisis made her luminous. She got upset and frustrated and angry, but the one thing Ali never did was to lose hope.

  And that’s why I loved her most.

  “When?”

  “When I was in the hospital in Vegas. I saw her in my dreams. She was smiling, she looked so happy. I’d seen pictures of her when I was at your house, but in the pictures she was always sad. In my dreams or semi-conscious state, she exuded joy and yes, she was wearing that ring.”

  The ring was an heirloom from my grandfather’s family.

  A yellow gold ring with a white Mother of Pearl surrounded by a dozen diamonds.

  It was the ring that he’d sold in order to pay his airfare to come to the US with his childhood friend. Grandfather asked the pawn shop in France not to sell it for as long as six months. It took him longer than six months to go back to France and have the money to buy it back. Luck was on his side when it was still available at the pawn shop.

  It was the ring he gave my grandmother to signify that he loved her.

  And with all the bad stuff that my grandfather had done, there was an irrefutable sadness reflected in his eyes when he told me stories about Grandmère.

  He loved her.

  He just didn’t know how to show her.

  I loved Ali.

  And I wanted to show the world how much.

  “She knew you were the one for me.” I hugged her to my side, careful not to disconnect all the wires she was attached to. “I know you’re it for me, Ali, so will you?”

  Her smile lit up my heart, “I have no choice. You stole my heart from the start and you’ve held it ever since. Are you sure you want to get married to me?”

  What a silly question.

  “I am. As a matter of fact I have everything ready. We’re getting married today.”

  We got married the night before her chest was going to be cracked open by people who could not even fathom how much she meant to me.

  When I said my vows in front of the minister, our family and friends, I meant every word.

  “Alissa Mae, from the time I knew what love was, I knew that was what I felt for you. You’re the girl who pushed me to accept my weaknesses along with my strengths. I love you because even when my heart was black with grief, you never gave up on me. I’ve heard your surgeon say that the heart has two pumps – one that receives it from the body and pumps it to a valve so that the other part can pump it to parts where it needs that oxygen-filled blood. You are the reason my heart pumps the way it does. Why my blood is red. My reason for living.”

  I didn’t know if I had the pathway from the body to the heart correct, but I didn’t care. I wanted to let her know just how much I valued her. Sofia could correct me later, but when Ali slowly stood up from the chair she was sitting on, she couldn’t stand for too long because it took too much work and energy from her body, her tear-filled eyes were filled with so much love.

  I wasn’t a mushy, sappy person.

  But this was our moment.<
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  She deserved every sweet word I could manage to conjure from my head.

  She deserved everything good in this world because she was a good woman,

  And I was the luckiest person alive to have her.

  She wore a simple dress with the white veil that her Mom bought at the closest department store once I told everyone that I was marrying her today.

  We could have waited until she was done with the surgery, but I wanted her to know that I was with her.

  That there would be no one else for me.

  That I would always be grateful for her choosing to carry my children even at the cost of her own career, her dreams, and possibly her own life.

  “I love you, Matty. You have always been mine and I’ve always been yours. Our children are lucky to have you as their dad. I promise to come back to them and to you.”

  So when the team of doctors and nurses wheeled her from her room the next morning,

  When she closed her eyes after kissing me on the lips,

  When she said, “Tell Gelo and Lian that I love them,”

  I held on to that promise.

  Her promise that she would always come back to me.

  Alissa

  Five years later

  “We don’t have time.”

  Even as I said the words, I knew that they were meaningless.

  Matteo’s hands were already snaking through my plain blue cotton underwear, and the chances of me saying no were null.

  “It’ll be quick, babe.” His grey eyes were predatory and his tongue was staking its claim on my left earlobe.

  A pool of wetness gushed from my center. Only he had the power to make me react this way.

  My man wasn’t going to let me out of our bathroom unscathed and unsatisfied.

  He was wearing a black shirt and athletic shorts which could only mean that he was working out in the gym instead of answering his e-mails.

  It was the middle of the week, and he had meetings until nine tonight.

  I was already running late for my meeting with the director of Love All Kids that my assistant had managed to fit into my crazy schedule at the last minute.

  His big thumb circled my clit and my head bowed to his ministrations.

  “Fuck. You’re already so wet for me, honey,” he growled as I pulled on his shorts, dragging his boxers down along with them. Sweaty Matty was scorching. Over the years, we’d sparred on the mat that he’d installed in the middle of the gym and we always ended up tangled in each other’s bodies.

  I gasped when his big, thick cock entered me and when his hands lifted my butt up, I became weightless in his arms.

  “You feeling okay, babe?” His eyes met mine, gauging how I was doing even when he was on the brink of letting go, even in the midst of an approaching climax.

  I nodded and moaned in pleasure.

  It’d been five years, but he still had his worries.

  Five years since the day my heart was stopped in the operating room so the doctors could fix what was broken.

  The months following the surgery were the craziest, most rigorous times in our marriage.

  My body didn’t heal as fast as the doctors wanted, and I had to be readmitted twice for an infection at the surgical site.

  I’d almost given up hope, but Matteo never let me.

  He was always there to lift me up when the doubts overcame me, when the negative emotions were too strong inside of me, when I’d cry and cry because I wanted to be strong for my babies but I couldn’t.

  He was there.

  Every second, every minute, every hour.

  And when I was finally released from the hospital, he’d helped me shape up my future with our children.

  He had an empire to run, but he pushed everything aside.

  For me.

  For Gelo and Lian.

  “Are you almost there, babe?” His forehead was dripping with sweat as I whispered in his ear, “You want to come, my love?”

  Sometimes he made love to me.

  Sometimes he fucked me.

  But all of those times, he never failed to show me how much he wanted me.

  After we’d been cleared by the doctors that we could resume sexual activities, Matteo had unleashed his sexual frustrations without inhibitions.

  I thought he wasn’t going to be attracted to me as much since my body had all these scars now.

  I wasn’t an insecure person, but when I saw all the patched up skin from the heart surgery and the C-section, I suddenly felt shy.

  Matteo didn’t care about my shyness though.

  He’d kissed all of my scars and when he was done lapping up the wetness between my legs, he’d kissed them again and made love to me for hours with the lights on.

  Now we called them my warrior stamps.

  I’d grown humans in my stomach.

  I’d been given a new lease on life because of my heart surgery.

  “Fuck babe, your pussy is the stuff of legends,” he yelled as he spilled his seed inside of me.

  I tried to cover his mouth because he was so loud, and there was no way that our moms didn’t hear that.

  We had a part-time nanny who helped us with Gelo and Lian, but our moms were both here to help us for a week because Matteo and I were going to Singapore for the newest chain of T & T Inc. hotels.

  You heard that right.

  After the disastrous meeting with Carter Chan, Wilson Chan had approached Matteo for another shot at partnership.

  My husband had no time for the patriarch because of all the medical issues that I was going through, and our babies were still growing inside the walls of the intermediate care nursery that they’d graduated to after they’d moved from the NICU.

  Wilson Chan ended up selling seventy percent of his shares because the rumors that his family was embedded in debt were actually true.

  T & T Inc. swooped in and now here we were, flying tonight to grace the opening of the largest chain of luxury hotels at the southern tip of the Malay Peninsula.

  “You couldn’t wait for tonight?” I teased as he helped wipe the wetness that was now dripping down my legs with toilet paper. We had a private room on the plane which would be enough for sexy time for the both of us, but then again, Matteo’s sexual appetite for me was endless so maybe he needed this to tide him over until tonight.

  His shoulders shook, and his dark head flexed, “I thought you were already on your way to the meeting. I didn’t know you were still here. Then I smelled your very sexy berries and Ali scent, and I couldn’t help it.”

  I planted a kiss on the side of his cheek, “You’re so impatient.”

  “When it comes to you, I’m always impatient,” he said as he picked up the navy skirt that had flown from my hands when he entered the bathroom earlier.

  After a few minutes of helping me look presentable for the meeting, he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “Go get them, CEO.”

  I responded with a laugh, and gave his muscular butt a tap before I left our bathroom.

  I looked down at the watch he’d gifted me last Christmas, and saw that I literally had five minutes before Pedro, the company driver, would start to get worried.

  I could only hope that Gelo and Lian were napping or I’d never get out of the house.

  They had graduated from toddlerhood to pre-school so naps came a dime a dozen these days, but if all the raucous screaming I’d heard earlier were to serve as indicators that they would be tired now, I’d bet that they were sitting in front of the TV watching their favorite cartoons with their grandmothers.

  I wasn’t given a lot of time to panic about my unexpected pregnancy.

  And the fact that I got pregnant before I could even legally drink alcohol was almost comical.

  But life as it turned out offered its ups and downs.

  And right now, I wouldn’t trade my present life for anything in this world.

  I was blessed in the very best ways.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome the newest ad
dition to the Women of Power – Alissa Tanner.”

  After a three-day trip to Asia, Matteo had surprised me with a stopover in New York.

  He’d said that there were important business issues to attend to.

  My husband couldn’t hide anything from me, so the fact that he was being evasive about the details should have clued me in.

  I missed my babies, but we FaceTimed with them every day, and if I were being truthful, I’d say that they were having a grand time with our moms and now our dads who’d joined them two days ago.

  Matteo kissed me on the side of my lips as he whispered, “I’m so proud of you, babe. Go get ‘em.”

  I felt the nerves sink inside my bones as I walked up to the stage. I wasn’t sure if my Vera Wang dress, a beautiful silver gown that accentuated my curves, could hold up to the threads of sweat forming inside my armpits and my head was slightly feeling woozy.

  The Women of Power was a prestigious international award given to women who were trailblazers and game changers.

  Katie, a regular TV personality, was still speaking when I reached the stage, “We honor her for everything that she’s done for the marginalized communities and her efforts in engaging the youth into shaping up the future of business leaders.”

  My eyes scanned the audience and the 3-inch Prada heels felt like they were sinking into the ground. Women I’d admired from near and far were among them. Women who’d changed their world so our world could be better were clapping for me.

  It was hard to imagine that this was my life.

  There was a time when I couldn’t move in bed because my body was too weak to take a breath.

  There was a time when I thought all of my dreams were going to end up in a ditch because I’d e-mailed my college professors that I couldn’t physically finish the semester.

  But I held on to the tiniest spark of hope – to my children, to my family, to my husband.

  “My children ask why Mommy is always busy,” I said as I spoke in front of the microphone after Katie gave me the floor. “I tell them because their Mom likes to be busy.”

  There were laughs in the audience.

  “The truth is, ever since I was a child, I’ve always felt that I had a purpose in this world. My parents brought my sister and my brother and me to places where people didn’t have enough water and food. They showed us that there was more to life than money. That there are many parts of our world where not everyone has access to good water, or food, or family.” I was saying everything that I was thinking of, hoping that it would make sense, “With the help of my husband and my family, I established One for All so that children who need food, water, and family can have somewhere to go to.”