The First I Do

by Sarah N. Ham

  “Wow… then, if we got married in September of 2001, we’ve been married for… 13 years now!?”

  “I… guess so… this is so weird.” He muttered, chuckling.

  “I don’t even know how to act like a wife, let alone your girlfriend. I’ve never dated anyone.”

  “Me neither…”

  We sat there awkwardly before he muttered, “Um… maybe we ought to go to bed. It’s late, and I’m wiped out.”

  “Sure…”

  He pulled off his shirt out of habit, and I blushed until I saw a nasty bruise on his stomach.

  “What happened to your stomach!?” I gasped, brushing my hand against the area, lightly.

  He tensed at my touch, and I wondered if I’d hurt him until I noticed the blush on his face.

  “Um… Thomas nailed me yesterday with a punch to the gut as I was heading out the gate, so it’s a tad bruised.”

  I realized that this position was a tad awkward, thinking about our previous conversation, so I started to back up when he whispered my name and pulled me in. I could feel his heartbeat against my hand that had landed on his naked chest. I blushed, staring at him. I’d never really been this close to him before. I ran my fingers along the toned muscles and could feel his heartbeat increase.

  “Michael?”

  “Belle, can I… kiss you?”

  I looked up at him, shyly and embarrassed but slowly nodded.

  Chapter Ten – You May Kiss the Bride

  I had no experience. I’d never kissed a woman besides my mom and grandmother in my life, so I couldn’t help but pray to God that I wouldn’t make Maybelle take back her confession with a bad kiss.

  When our lips connected, though, it was like nothing I’d ever felt before. Instinct took over, and I pulled her closer as every part of my body felt like it was on fire. It felt amazing, and I couldn’t help it as it made me yearn for more. I kissed her forward until we tripped and fell on her bed. We froze in shock, and I realized by the tightness in my jeans that I needed to calm down before I did something reckless. I sat up and took deep breaths.

  “M-Michael?” She whispered, out of breath.

  “D-don’t look at me like that!” I grumbled.

  “Like what?” She asked, laying below me with a hand by her disheveled scarlet hair, swollen pink lips, and an innocent look in her baby blue eyes.

  I blushed and laid down to whisper in her ear, “You’re turning me on…”

  She turned redder than her dyed hair and whispered, “O-oh…”

  “S-sorry, I couldn’t help it. Here, I’ll get up and go calm down.”

  “No, don’t be sorry. I mean… we are husband and wife, after all.”

  I gawked at her, and she immediately looked embarrassed by her own words.

  “I-I mean…”

  “As much as I would absolutely love to do that, Maybelle, we just now confessed our feelings. Why don’t we take this slow? I don’t want to take advantage of the situation. Besides, our folks will probably be home at any moment.” I stuttered.

  She still looked embarrassed, so I added, “Besides, that should be special… I don’t want to treat you like one of the girls in that garbage I used to watch. I want you to be my bride, not a for-the-h**l-of-it first time.”

  “Y-you mean you’re really a virgin!?”

  “Of course I am, Maybelle!”

  “S-sorry, I heard a rumor…”

  “Wh-what sort of rumor?”

  “That you and Jennie, um… well, hooked up at band camp last summer.”

  “What!? Oh my gosh, is this because of that time she asked me to talk to her outside the cabin?”

  “Yeah, and then, we didn’t know where you two went…”

  “We literally got annoyed of you guys staring at us through the window, so we went around back. She was just giving me back my wallet. I left it in the cafeteria.”

  “You two were gone for ten minutes, and you had the goofiest grin on your face when you came back.”

  “Oh my gosh, seriously!? That was because she confirmed for me that you didn’t have a crush on Aron, the percussionist. Everyone thought you did, and I was jealous. So, when she confirmed that it wasn’t true, I was happy because I thought I still had a chance.” I admitted, embarrassed.

  She was surprised but giggled, saying, “Then, that’s good. We’ll both be pure on our wedding night.”

  “I… I guess so.” I mumbled, smiling back.

  “Here, um, let’s have a date!” She suggested.

  “At ten-thirty at night!?”

  “We can just watch a movie and cuddle while eating snacks.”

  I blushed at the idea of snuggling for real with my long-time crush. Sure, we’d sat together all tangled up as children, but that was years ago as friends. So, as I sat on the couch, and she popped in a movie, I tried to act natural. Once the film was in and the snacks were in place, she sat down next to me, curling up against me like a cat. The goofiest grin was on my face, and I couldn’t help but put my arm around her.

  We watched the movie, eating junk food and kissing throughout it. We laughed and had so much fun. When it was over, she had fallen asleep.

  “You’re gonna catch a cold sleeping here.” I grumbled, sighing.

  She wouldn’t wake up, so I carefully picked her up and carried her to her room. I laid her down and kissed her forehead, but before I could leave, she hugged my neck and tossed me down, all in her sleep!

  “Ack! Maybelle, you got the grip of an anaconda!” I grumbled, trying to reposition myself so I wouldn’t squish her and so I could get my face out of her chest.

  The best I could do was push myself to her side because she loosened her grip but wouldn’t let go. I lay beside her and stroked her hair. This girl I’d had a crush on since middle school had said she loved me. So, nothing else in the world mattered at that moment.

  “God, I don’t know why you made this girl my wife, but I love Maybelle, and I want to be an honorable husband for her. Please, give me the strength to do this right.” I prayed softly.

  Then, I hugged her close and fell asleep.

  Chapter Eleven – Mr. and Mrs. Hawkins

  I woke up the next morning in Michael’s arms. I blushed, remembering the previous night and smiled, kissing him lightly on the lips. He stirred in his sleep and looked up at me drowsily.

  “Good morning, Michael.” I whispered.

  He still looked confused, and when I kissed him, he gawked at me and sat up.

  “What? Why are you so confused? Remember last night?” I asked.

  “I… do, but I thought it was some crazy dream my mind had thought up.” He mumbled.

  “Silly, it wasn’t a dream. I’m in love with you.”

  He blushed and smiled at me gently.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “I’m just trying to take this in… Do you know how long I’ve hoped for this?”

  “I don’t know… you said that you’ve liked me for years.”

  “Since middle school.”

  “Eh!? For that long!?”

  “How long have you liked me?” He asked.

  “Well, I’m not sure. I’m sure it’s been for a while, but I couldn’t put a name on the feeling until the night I thought that you had rejected me. I don’t know why, but it just clicked then.”

  He looked really surprised but smiled gently, saying, “I’m sorry that I made you think that. I promise that it wasn’t my intention.”

  “It’s all better now, so don’t worry about it. By the way, why are you here sleeping in my room? I thought you wanted to take this whole marriage thing slow?”

  “I do. We’re in your room because you fell asleep on the couch. I brought you here, but you won’t let go of me, so I was stuck here.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, Michael. I must’ve thought you were a pillow or something.”

  “That’s fine, Belle. It gave me the chance to be close to you…” He purred, snuggling up to me.

  I blushed, not
being used to this intimate contact, but I soon relaxed as he kissed my lips.

  “Michael, Maybelle, come get some breakfast.” My mom shouted from the kitchen.

  We froze, and he muttered, “Maybe we should keep this a secret that we know about the marriage. Otherwise, they may try to force us to consent to the annulment.”

  “Good idea. Besides, they may try to restrict us more if they knew we were a couple. You know how overprotective my father can be.”

  “Yeah…” He said, getting up to head back to his room.

  Before he left though, he kissed me once more on the lips. I blushed and smiled at him sheepishly.

  ***

  Breakfast was awkward. We were trying our best to act natural, but Michael’s

  “natural” looked like a Mr. Bean expression—so goofy he might as well have screamed, “Hey, I have a secret! Let me no tell you but constantly remind you!”

  I rolled my eyes and tried to hide my blushing cheeks behind my cereal.

  “You okay, Michael?” Mr. Hawkins finally asked.

  He, then, looked like a deer in headlights.

  “Wh-what do you mean!?” He stuttered.

  “Smooth…” I mouthed to him.

  He pouted at me, causing me to giggle.

  “Is something going on between you two? You’re acting weird.” Dad asked.

  I choked on my cereal and could only manage out, “N-no, Dad, we’re not up to anything. Michael’s probably just acting like a dork because he wet the bed, again!”

  “I did not!” Michael yelped, blushing.

  “Or maybe he’s planning to destroy more of my clothes with the hedgehog.”

  “Wait, what? When did this happen?” Mr. Hawkins asked.

  “Right… when you were gone, Michael put Remmy in one of my skirts, so he’d poop and rip it up. Michael felt it was too short.”

  “Michael, while I appreciate you trying to protect Maybelle’s honor, you can’t just vandalize her stuff that you deem immodest.” Mr. Hawkins whined.

  “Thank you!” I cheered.

  “Yeah, but Maybelle, it was rather short.” My dad chimed in.

  “Thank you, Mr. Lloyd.” Michael said with a sneer.

  “Now, Dear, Maybelle’s almost an adult. She has the right to dress as she wishes as long as it fits the school’s dress code and our approval, which it did.”

  “Thanks, Mom!” I exclaimed, sticking my tongue out at Michael.

  “I only approved of it because I thought it was for a sport—like dance or cheer!” Dad whined.

  “Dad, it was black, asymmetrical with rhinestones and lace…” I pointed out.

  “Is that not something a gymnast or dancer might wear?”

  “Maybe, but I’m not in gymnastics or on ant dancing teams…”

  “What about color guard?”

  “I only did that for a semester to help Naomi out when one of the girls got injured. I was never officially on the team.”

  “Fine, then, it was too short, and I disapproved of it! I’m glad Michael destroyed it.”

  “Humph, then, maybe I’ll get a longer skirt out of your pocket!”

  “What!? Why should I pay for it?”

  “You’re encouraging Michael vandalizing my stuff. So, I’ll bite. I’ll get a more modest skirt, but it’s a replacement to the one Michael destroyed. Even trade, you get what you want and so do I.”

  Dad grumbled but finally muttered, “Fine, but it better be knees-length.”

  “Just above the knee!” I negotiated.

  “No, below it.”

  “Dad, I’m not a nun!”

  “If I’m buying, I’m getting the choice.”

  I pouted but nodded. At least I had managed to get the attention off Michael’s oh-so suspicious, dork face. Seriously, I wondered how the boy could be so mischievous towards me, yet be such a horrible liar.

  After breakfast, I was headed to my room to get ready when Michael yanked me into his room and kissed me passionately.

  “Whoa, what was that for?” I asked, still kinda in a daze.

  “Sorry, it was just driving me crazy. How on earth am I supposed to hide this? I’ve been waiting for five years, hoping for this moment. Now that it’s actually happening, I want to display it proudly.” He groaned.

  “I know, but let’s wait at least till the marriage thing cools down or until they actually officially tell us. They can’t hide it forever now that they can’t secretly annul it.” I reasoned.

  “I know… but it still sucks.” Michael pouted.

  I giggled and let him go, saying, “I need to get ready. I love you, Michael.”

  “I love you, too, Maybelle.” He said, giving my hand one last squeeze.

  I left the room and was surprised to see Mr. Hawkins nearby in the hall.

  “G-good morning, Mr. Hawkins.”

  “Were you in Michael’s room?”

  “Y-yeah, he was asking me something about our math homework. Did you need something?”

  “Oh, no, I was just going to tell Michael about a last-minute wedding I have to shoot in Paris just days from now. Their photographer suddenly fell on a shoot and broke her leg, so they asked me to fill in for her since she and I were partners a few years back. I’ll be gone for two weeks.”

  “Paris!? Wow, that’s amazing. It’s been years since you got to go there!”

  “Yep. It just so happens to be the same week your folks are going to that business conference, though. We’re trying to decide whether it’s okay to leave the two of you here alone or if I should take Michael over to his grandmother’s.”

  I blushed at the concept of us being left there alone for a week, but then, I muttered, “I think we’d be fine. Besides, I’d rather not be here by myself.”

  “That is a good point… I’ll talk to your folks about it, but first, I need to talk to Michael.”

  “Alright, I need to get ready anyway.” I said, glad that it didn’t seem like he’d overheard Michael and me in the room together.

  I headed to my room and jumped when I heard Michael yelp, “What!?”

  I guessed that his dad had told him. I could just picture his face, but I really didn’t want to be home alone. The house that was meant for the five of us was creepy when empty.

  I got dressed for school, and as I exited to get my lunch, I ran into Michael who had just finished his shower. His hair was still wet, and he was freshly shaven—though, there was a little bit of tissue on one side where he’d obviously nicked himself. He was shirtless, and I blushed, realizing I’d been checking him out. Luckily, he was too busy blushing himself to notice.

  “Sorry, Michael. I didn’t see you. Something wrong?”

  “I… Did you really just agree to us staying here alone!?”

  “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be here alone for a week. It’s creepy!”

  “You are such a child sometimes…” he sighed.

  “Excuse me!?” I squeaked.

  “You’re worried about monsters and intruders. I’m having much bigger concerns!”

  “What? It’s a legitimate fear in this house to at least have an attacker or even a bear. We are in the middle of nowhere.”

  “I know, but still.”

  “What are you afraid of?”

  “Hormones, okay!? Hormones…” He admitted, blushing. “I just found out that you love me yesterday, and I’m still hyped up over the fact that we kissed as well. Wh-what if I get overzealous!? I almost did last night…”

  “Michael… I get it, but we are married.”

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we’re ready to be…”

  “Michael!?”

  “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to make that sound so insulting.”

  “No… I get it. We’re just teenagers. We’ve never even dated, so how do we know how to be married? Maybe we can secretly find a counselor and some newlywed bible studies. If we’re gonna make this work, let’s get as much knowledge as we can…”

  Michael smiled at
me and hugged me, saying, “I’m so glad that you’re the pure one. It’ll help me to keep my mind out of the gutter.”

  “Michael, I know you had a rough patch two years ago, but you’re not as sleazy as you think you are. The fact that you rejected it proves that.”

  “Yeah, I guess. Doesn’t mean I can take it back. The night you caught me in the middle of… that… that’s when I knew I had to stop doing this to myself. Your face that night is permanently caught in my mind. You were so embarrassed and disgusted by the images you saw and what I was doing, and yet, even with how repulsive you thought it was… you didn’t look at me any different than before. You still showed me so much compassion, but that night, instantly I recognized that it was disgusting. Sex is a blessing, but porn turns beautiful women into mere tools and sex into a sideshow. Those women are someone’s daughter, someone’s future wife, a child of God, and look at how those men and I used them for mere selfish pleasure.”

  “Michael….”

  “It doesn’t mean that I never get tempted to get into it again… H**l, practically every movie and show has some form of a sex scene or suggested one. I am only human, so of course, I want that, too… Don’t even get me started on how much you have been on my mind in that sense, but I try not to since I know it’s wrong.”

  I blushed at the thought of Michael actually finding me that attractive, but I hugged him and said, “It’s not wrong now that we are married, but I get it. I just wish you’d stop beating yourself up over it. No one’s perfect, especially not me, but if you can love me through my flaws, then I can do the same.”

  “I love you.” He whispered, kissing me.

  “I love you, too.”

  “Gosh, what am I going to do, though? A week with you alone…”

  “Just don’t overthink it. We’ve stayed here practically alone before.”

  “Yeah, with a neighbor checking up on us and staying the night… We’d be completely alone.”

  “I get it; I’m nervous, too, Michael.”

  “R-really!?”

  “Of course I am. I love you, Michael, and a part of me wants the same things you’re afraid to want. Still, I know we need to prepare physically, mentally, and spiritually for that because once we cross that bridge, we can’t take it back. However, if it’s all we ever think or worry about, it won’t be good, fun, or blessed. God gave it to us as a gift. So, when the right time comes, let’s enjoy it. Until then, just be my boyfriend. Be my best friend. Be that kid that I’ve known since birth. Eventually, you’ll be ready to be my husband.”