The First I Do

by Sarah N. Ham

  Then, he had the nerve to lean forward, saying, “You have no idea how much I’d love you to!”

  Then, he yanked me forward roughly, smashing his lips against mine. Angrily, I bit down on his lip until it drew blood and slapped him, storming off.

  Now, naked below my husband, my lip quivered as I tried to explain, “Michael, that wasn’t what happened… We were talking, and he forced himself on me just like he did the night he stole my first kiss! Wh-what can I do to prove that to you?”

  He had the most dreadful glare on his face, as he said, “Nothing… I’m done. Get dressed. I’m not going to have sex with a woman who’s felt another man’s skin.”

  I was shocked as I shouted, “You see that animal force a kiss on me, and your next conclusion is that I must be having sex with him!?”

  “Why else would you be meeting with him!?”

  “Please, just let me explain. Let me show you that I would never do something like that to you, Michael! I’m only in love with you. I would never betray you like that!”

  “Really? How are you going to prove that?”

  “Finish what you started…”

  “What!?”

  “I submit myself before you, Michael… right here, right now. Please, let’s finish making love…” I whispered, lying on the bed. “If you don’t want to see my face, I’ll even turn around.”

  He looked appalled but then, approached me, turned me to face him and pulled me to him. I felt tears pour from my eyes. It was horribly painful, and I could tell from his animal-like actions that he was overcome with anger. I was exhausted after a few minutes of this and just wanted it to be finished.

  Then, just like that, he stopped with a stunned look on his face. Scared that he still wasn’t satisfied, I whimpered, “Was that not enough? I… I can pleasure you instead if that’s better.”

  I could barely move, my body hurt so much, but as I approached him, he stopped me and grumbled out, “Stop.”

  Too scared to have him leave in this state though, I tried again to reach for him, and then, I heard his voice crack as he pulled me into his arms and kissed my lips so softly. I tasted salty tears in the kiss, shocking me, and as he pulled away, he whimpered, “Please, stop!”

  I was shocked as he dropped down to my lap, hiding his head in my knees and repeating apology after apology before pulling me into his arms, again. He kissed me again and again so tenderly. I sobbed into his neck and whimpered, “C-can I tell you what happened? The truth…?”

  “Please…”

  “The day after I accidentally told him that you were my husband, he asked me about it in class while you were in the restroom. When he realized that it was secret, he blackmailed me. He said that if I didn’t meet him for one hour a week for ‘marriage counseling’, he’d tell everyone about us, especially our parents. He claimed it was for marriage counseling since his mother is a marriage counselor, and he insisted he could help us in return for getting an hour of my time. I knew I should’ve told you from the get-go, but I was scared…”

  “Scared of what?”

  “I was scared of how you’d react! I was afraid you’d try to stop me or worse, assault him again!”

  “I guess that’s fair because I want to do that right now! I’m so sorry, Maybelle. Oh, g*d, I did something so detestable to you! I’m so sorry! Can you ever forgive me?”

  “Of course… can you forgive me for not being honest with you?”

  “Yes, of course, I… I’m so sorry, Belle. Let me treat you. Gosh, that must have been so painful for you. I think there’s some lotion or ointment in the bathroom. Just hang on, okay?”

  “Okay…” I muttered, falling back on the pillow, sighing.

  He, soon, came back and lifted me up in his arms, taking me to the bathroom and treating me before sinking me in a perfectly heated bubble bath. Then, he lied on the side of the tub, cleaning me and spoiling me. Soon, I asked him to join me, and he did tentatively, almost scared as if he wasn’t worthy, but I assured him that I was just as much in love with him as I was before his actions that night. That night, I made love to him in a much more tender fashion, proving to him that I was okay and that I had fully forgiven him.

  ***

  A few days later, Michael had confronted Drake Parker. I stood back as my husband said, “You may tell whoever you’d like about us, but my wife will not meet you ever again. You are lucky she has chosen to forgive your sexual harassment instead of filing an official complaint. Try what you will; my wife will never be with you! I know the type of man you are. Maybelle told me how your father left your mother and you after twenty years of marriage to be with one of his co-workers and that’s why you moved to Tennessee… to get a new start.”

  “Since then, you’ve been hooking up with random classmates and strangers, wanting as much uncommitted sex as you can get, but it’s not enough to just have sex with them. You want to control these women. You want them to be dependent on you before you abandon them like trash. You are sick and damaged, but you will not control Maybelle! She isn’t yours to control! She’s not even mine for that reasoning. She is an amazing young woman who God created to be loved and respected, and God blessed us to be married. Nothing you do will break that vow!”

  With that, he took my hand gently and whispered, “Let’s go.”

  I nodded and walked off with my husband, not even giving Drake Parker a second glance.

  ***

  A week or so later, on Friday, September 15th, 2015, we snuck off to our condo and celebrated two things, Michael’s 18th birthday from a week-and-a-half back and our 14th wedding anniversary—a.k.a. our first recognizable anniversary. Now, on our anniversary, we were so at peace. There was nothing hidden between us—aside from the gifts we had for each other, of course.

  We had gone to a concert before going back to our place. Once there, we shared a great meal, watched a marathon of our favorite sitcom on DVD, and then, made love. Then, I gave him my gift. He smiled so brilliantly at the special blank composition book I’d made him, which he could write pieces in.

  Then, he said he had a gift for me. He got up, and I assumed he was going to get it from the car or from his clothes that were littered on the floor. Instead, he got on his knees by the bed, saying, “I never got the chance to do this properly… You deserve a proper wedding ceremony, proper proposal, proper everything…”

  I looked at him stunned. Then, he pulled open the drawer of the nightstand beside him, pulled out the envelope his mother had left him on her death-bed, and reached inside, pulling out an item wrapped in tissue. Once he unwrapped it, tears poured from my eyes. It was his mother’s engagement ring! Then, he said, “Maybelle, I love you so much. Will you make me the happiest man in the world by marrying me… again?”

  “Yes! Oh, yes, Michael, yes, I will!” I sobbed, pulling him up and hugging him tightly.

  He slid it on my finger, and it fit so well. It was all so perfect.

  That night we made love once more before falling asleep in each other’s arms in a state of pure bliss.

  Chapter Eighteen – With this Ring, I Thee Wed

  The night had been so amazing. I knew it was what I’d wanted to do since the day I had opened Mom’s envelope. Out had flooded a pile of pictures, pictures of our wedding ceremony. Mom was so far gone by then, but she looked so happy in the photos. I found her ring and then, read the letter included. It said,

  Dear Son,

  It breaks my heart to know I will not be there to see you become the amazing young man that I’m sure you’ll be. I love you so dearly, Son, but God wants me to see Heaven earlier than I planned. You won’t understand this at the age you are when this letter was written, but I hope by 18, it’ll make more sense. I was the one who sent in your marriage license. I know that your father isn’t going to, though he’ll claim that he has.

  Son, you probably won’t recall any of this or why we did this, but let me explain some of it. When the doctors said there was nothing left to do and I had
maybe weeks left, I was crying about how I’d never see you graduate or marry or have children. Then, you and Maybelle came in, having overheard me and said, “Then, let’s get married! We’ll get married now!”

  It was so precious, and I just knew that as long as you had Maybelle in your life, you’d be just fine. So, I sent the license in. I know you’ll be an amazing husband, and Maybelle will love you as selflessly as she always has.

  No matter what others say, live your life to the fullest as you want! Enjoy it! Make mistakes and grow from them. I will always be with you, but please, don’t forget me.

  Love, Mom

  It hurt so much to think about how hard she had fought and loved us, but I had joy, knowing how right she was. It was crazy what she’d done, possibly even wrong in retrospect, but I still couldn’t help but be thankful to her. As I palmed the ring, I looked up and whispered, “Thanks, Mom.”

  ***

  When the incident with Draken Parkour—whatever—happened, I’d almost ruined my plans, though. I’d be so angry with jealousy at the sight of him kissing my wife that I stormed off before I could see her fight him away.

  That night, I bitterly asked for sex, and I only actually started to see anything but white to confront Maybelle when she’d let out a squeak of what sounded like pain. I bitterly accused her of cheating on me and refused to believe her when she said it wasn’t so. Then, she’d thrown out this nonsense idea of submitting herself to me to prove her faithfulness, and I snapped, picturing that creep touching my Maybelle. So, I decided in my rage that I’d seal the idea in my head by claiming what was rightfully mine!

  I didn’t snap out of it until I heard her sob in pain and saw something on my thigh. I realized in horror that I’d caused her to bleed in my foolishness. I quickly pulled away from her, disgusted in myself, but she was too desperate to make me believe, so she tried to pleasure me. I only got a small “Stop” out at first, pushing her away, but she pushed back, trying again, until I physically halted her and begged her to stop, knowing that Maybelle would never betray me like I’d accused her of.

  That night had a lot of tears and nursing of wounds, both physical and emotional. It made me realize just how much I still needed to learn about my own personal demons as well as this marriage. Yet, even after acting like a monster to her, she forgave me. I knew with this that my plan to give her Mom’s ring would be perfect… that I’d show her just how much I loved and cherished her.

  ***

  I slept so soundly with my lover in my arms, but that peace didn’t last long. I was woken up by the sound of the condo’s front door slamming and then, the bedroom door slamming open.

  “What the h**l is going on here!?” I heard a voice shout.

  I opened my eyes in shock at the sight of the Lloyds and my dad at the doorway.

  “Tony, calm down.” My dad attempted to reason with him.

  I quickly covered my wife and my nudity from our parents, trying to coax Maybelle awake. She was too drowsy to register it, though and grumbled, “Love, I’m too sleepy to go another round; sorry. Go back to bed. Maybe in the morning…”

  “No, Maybelle, this is serious! Wake up!” I begged, as she tried to kiss my lips and snuggle closer.

  She groaned but finally, saw our folks. It took a second to register to her, but then, she squeaked in surprise. She grabbed the sheet to cover her exposed body, gasping, “Mom, Dad!?”

  Mr. Lloyd’s eyes were locked on mine though, as he screamed, “Did you think we wouldn’t find out where you two have been sneaking off to these past few months!? I can’t believe Edmond’s father did this! And you, you promised me that you wouldn’t do this to my daughter!”

  “No, I never said that. I said that I wouldn’t disrespect your household by doing it there.” I corrected.

  “You b**tard, do you think this a joke!? You’re 18; she’s 17. I could have you arrested for statutory rape!” He shouted, being held back by my father.

  “Dad, he didn’t rape me! You know he’d never do that!” Maybelle chimed in.

  “Not a word out of you, Maybelle Juniper Lloyd.”

  “No, I will not sit silently while you turn Michael into a monster!”

  “Sir, Sir, I know how this looks, but I can promise you that we didn’t do anything outside of God’s word!”

  “Do you know how many verses in God’s word call fornication a sin!? Are you an idiot!?”

  “Now, Tony, do not speak to my son that way! I know you’re surprised and angry, but I won’t just stand here while you verbally attack him!” Dad chimed in.

  “Oh, shut up, Henry! If you’d been a more active father in this kid’s life, none of this would be happening!?” Her father barked.

  “Tony, stop it! How dare you!?” Mrs. Lloyd yelled.

  “No, I will not just sit back while his son f**ks my daughter like a wh*re!”

  Maybelle suddenly stood up, stamping her foot on the ground and holding the sheet to her body to our surprise. She had tears running down her eyes as she shouted, “You will not talk about my husband that way!”

  Everyone froze at her words as Mrs. Lloyd whispered, “Y-you knew!?”

  “Yes! We’ve known since the day you guys found out!” She whimpered out.

  Her father’s face darkened, and he turned to me, saying, “I want you out of my house!”

  “Dad!?” Maybelle cried out in shock.

  “You will never touch my daughter again!”

  “Now, wait a minute, Tony! You aren’t kicking my son out!” Dad growled.

  “Oh, and you’re gonna stop me!?”

  “Yes, I own half of the property rights to that house, and I will sooner leave than he will!”

  “Fine, then, we’ll move out!” Mr. Lloyd shouted.

  “Tony, have you gone mad!?” Mrs. Lloyd gasped.

  “No, I’m seeing more clearly than ever before. That boy is an infection that I want as far away from my daughter as possible! He let a sick crush goes so far as to manipulate Maybelle into thinking she had to be his wife.”

  “No, that’s not true. Dad, you can’t do this!” Maybelle cried out.

  “Why? Oh, because you love him, and you’re his child bride!? Guess what, I’m your father, and you’re 17. I have more rights to your guardianship than he does. Until you’re 18, you can’t be with him, and I intend to make sure that in those eight months, you will be moved somewhere he will never find you! Maybelle, think this through. You don’t love him. You are just suffering from teenage hormones. This whole marriage thing is sick and should never have been accepted, let alone acknowledged.”

  “Tony, if you do this, I will never forgive you!” His wife said in tears.

  “So be it! Then, divorce me! This is for her own good!” He shouted, stunning all of us.

  “What did Michael ever do to you that has made you so evil and bitter!?” Maybelle asked, quivering in my arms.

  “Come on; we’re leaving.” He said, roughly yanking her by the arm.

  “Tony, stop! What do you intend to do, parade her through the streets naked!?” Mrs. Lloyd yelled.

  “Answer Maybelle’s question! I want to know the answer!” My dad hissed, venomously.

  He released her and growled, “Maybelle, you think you know this young man… that you love him, but that boy has a lot of skeletons in his closet. How can I give my daughter over to a man who delights in indulging in sexual sin? I know what that boy’s been looking up online!”

  I was stunned, and Maybelle looked physically ill as she screamed through tears, “That’s what this is about!? Porn!?”

  “It’s not a small problem, Maybelle! How can I give you to a person who is imagining other women while having sex with you or putting you on an unfair pedestal based on fantasies he’s seen in that garbage!?”

  “When was the last time you observed him doing this?” My dad asked, irritated.

  “I don’t know… a while ago.” He growled.

  “Dad, I know about the porn!” Maybelle whin
ed.

  “Wait, you do?”

  “Of course, I do! I’m the reason he quit looking at it!”

  “H-he quit!?” Mr. Lloyd muttered, surprised.

  “Yes, he did it for me because he loved me and didn’t want to make me feel compared to those women. It’s been almost three years since he gave it up.” Maybelle yelled.

  “Yeah, that boy came to me in tears, telling me what he was going through. Haven’t you noticed that he doesn’t have his own computer anymore? That’s why! You have no idea how many nights Maybelle or I have stayed up with him to keep him from relapsing into that behavior. Like his temper, he’s had to learn to dispense his desire through healthy means, but he did it because he wanted to be able to be a pure and faithful man of God for himself and his future wife. Now that they are married, they were still trying to be respectful by honoring the sanctity of our home. Sure, I’d have rather he had just been straightforward with us about his desire to stay Maybelle’s husband, but I recognized that we weren’t straightforward with them… so it’s understandable.” Dad explained.

  “D-Dad, did you know that we knew?” I asked.

  “Yes… I suspected that you knew something the night that we all found out because of the way the certificate had been put back. It was in backwards. That’s why I kind of gave the subliminal hint to you that you two were still legally married. Then, I overheard you two discussing it in your room the day that I told you two that I was going to Paris.” Dad confessed.

  “You’ve known that long, Henry!? Why didn’t you say anything!?” Mr. Lloyd asked.

  “I wanted to be sure that they were serious, and I wanted to keep it from blowing up in our faces like this. Then, that boy came storming into our house tonight saying that our children were off committing debauchery, and I realized it was too late at that point.” Dad explained.

  “Boy? Wait, what boy!?” Maybelle asked, confused.

  “I don’t know… He said his mom was in our bible study, Derek Palmer or something like that…” Dad explained.