Home For The Holidays

by Elena Aitken

  From his place on the couch, Papa beamed with pride. “It’s for my shining star. Bella, you will do great things and this is just the beginning.”

  A tear came to her eye, but she wiped it away before he could see.

  “Hang it on the tree,” Papa ordered. “I wanted to see it with the rest of the special ornaments because it will be the last time I get to see a Christmas tree in this house.”

  Bella froze halfway through hanging the snowflake. Quickly, she finished up, making sure it was secure in the branches before turning to kiss her grandfather on the cheek. “I know it’s the right thing, but I can’t help but feel a bit sad about it.”

  “Me too.” He nodded and folded his hands over his stomach. “But it’s time. You’re right and I won’t give you any more trouble about it. I’ll move.”

  “You will? Just like that?”

  He nodded again. “Just like that. But like I told you before, I’m not going to the city. There’s a perfectly good seniors home here in town. Glacier Falls is my home.”

  She gave Papa a kiss on the cheek. “I know you don’t want to leave your house, Papa. But it makes me happy to know you’ll be safe. I just want you to be happy.”

  He smiled and caught her hand in his. “I know, sweet girl. Glacier Falls makes me happy.”

  After spending more time in town, she could understand that perfectly. Besides, it would give her lots of reasons to come back to visit. Between Papa and Jeremy, she… The smile fell from her face. She hadn’t let herself think about what her career would mean to her and Jeremy. Not that there was a her and Jeremy. But…it sure felt as if there were.

  As if he’d read her mind, Bella’s phone chirped with an incoming text message. She pulled it out of her pocket and read the message.

  Hope you’re having a good day. I can’t stop smiling.

  His honesty put the smile back on her face. She quickly tapped her reply.

  Me too. It was a lot of fun.

  She was vaguely aware that her grandfather was watching her. “Sorry, Papa. I just—”

  “I may be old, but I’m not stupid, child. Go ahead.”

  She looked back to her phone as it chirped again.

  See you tonight? I’ll come over.

  That was perfect. If Jeremy came over, they’d have the chance to talk about what things would look like when she went back to the city. Long distance wasn’t impossible and if they both worked at it, it would work out.

  Sounds good.

  She’d barely hit Send on her message when the screen lit up with an incoming call. Kyle. Finally.

  “Sorry, Papa, I need to take this. Kyle is going to give me the details about the gig and—”

  He waved her away, and Bella rushed into the kitchen to take the call.

  Jeremy pushed the last chair into place and stepped back to admire his work as he felt a pat on his shoulder.

  “It looks great, Jeremy.”

  He turned to see Ed Walker next to him. “Thanks, Chief. It’s your vision—I just execute.”

  Ed laughed. “This is so much more than my vision, son. When I started this dinner all those years ago, there were maybe five people who came. Me and the guys—there were only guys back then—”

  Jeremy nodded.

  “We roasted a turkey and mashed up some potatoes. That was it. We ate right over there.” He pointed to the corner of the station. “Huddled around a card table with a few folding chairs. It was nothing like this, but special nonetheless.”

  “I bet it was,” Jeremy answered honestly. “I’m told Roy Burton was one of those who came that first year.” He felt a twinge of sadness that Bella’s grandfather had been alone for Christmas after his wife passed.

  “It’s true.” Ed nodded. “It was the first year he’d moved here after his wife died. He’d insisted on staying in town instead of going to visit his family. That was the year we decided Roy would make a good Santa.”

  “And all these years later, he still puts on that suit.” Jeremy smiled.

  The two men stood in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts before Ed cleared his throat, startling Jeremy. “You’ll make a fine chief one day, son.”

  The comment was unexpected and it took Jeremy off guard. Of course, he hoped to be chief one day; it was his dream and his goal since he was a child. But at twenty-seven, he was too young for the job, wasn’t he? There’d been rumors that Ed Walker was getting ready to retire, that he was spending more and more time with a special lady and now that his daughter, Sarah, had married Brody and was settled down again, Ed might just be ready to move on.

  But all of that was rumor and hearsay. Jeremy didn’t really expect the older man to walk away from his career. Not yet.

  He looked at Ed, his face hard to read. “One day, sir. One day.”

  Ed patted his back and smiled. “One day,” he repeated.

  “I can’t do it.” Bella walked to the kitchen window and stared out at the snow-covered mountain in an effort to make sense of what Kyle was saying to her.

  “You can’t—”

  “No.” She cut him off. “I can do it. It’s just…”

  Shit.

  She took a breath and let it out slowly.

  “It’s just that I didn’t realize the gig was tomorrow.” Bella dropped her head in her free hand and massaged her temples. If the gig was tomorrow, that meant…

  “I need you here tonight, Bella. We need to rehearse. I told you in my voicemail.” He sighed, that long, exasperated sigh that drove Bella crazy. “I don’t understand why you’re not already here.”

  “You didn’t say anything about…” She drifted away as she remembered how she’d held the phone away while she celebrated with her little dance in Jeremy’s kitchen. It was entirely likely she’d missed some of the finer details of the message. “Shit.”

  “Exactly, Bella. Shit. I need you to get here right now. How long of a drive is—”

  “Two hours, if the weather is good.”

  “Two hours?” Bella could practically see Kyle pacing the floor of his studio apartment where they rehearsed. The vein in his forehead was no doubt pulsing.

  She looked out the window again. Blue sky. “If I leave right now, I might be able to get there a bit faster.”

  But leaving right away would mean missing the Christmas Eve feast. It would mean missing the holiday with Papa. The last holiday in his house. It would mean…not saying good-bye to Jeremy.

  But it would also mean the biggest opportunity she’d ever had. That she might ever have.

  It was an impossible choice.

  “Get here right away, Bella. I mean it. No more chances after this. I—”

  “I got it, Kyle.” There was no choice. “I’ll be there.”

  Chapter 9

  Bella had barely caught her breath when Kyle barked out the orders.

  “Take it from the top!”

  The top?

  “Like that last song, or—”

  “The top of the set,” Kyle interrupted before she could finish the question.

  It was a stupid one, anyway. She’d worked with Kyle and the rest of the band for long enough to know how they worked. Hard.

  It was how they’d managed to be as successful as they had been so far. And it’s exactly why they’d gotten the Christmas gig. They were all perfectionists. It was one of the things that Bella liked most about them all.

  But they’d been at it for hours. It was past midnight already. True to her word, Bella had left Glacier Falls right away. She’d taken enough time to talk to Papa, apologizing profusely for leaving him when they had such plans for Christmas in the house. Just the way she knew he’d be, Papa was gracious and supportive. He insisted that she leave right away and follow her dream.

  “Dreams don’t work if you don’t, Bella. When an opportunity comes up, you need to take it or you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting it.”

  She’d swallowed back the lump in her throat, taken the bag of fo
od he packed for her while she was throwing her clothes in a bag, and with one last long hug and the promise to come back as soon as she could, she’d left.

  “One more,” Bella told the guys as she chugged back a bottle of water. “I need to rest my voice if I’m going to be at the top of my game tomorrow.”

  “And we have a sound check at five,” Kyle added. “Which means I want one final run through at nine sharp.”

  She shook her head a little as she capped the bottle and set it down. But as soon as Bella had straightened and stood up, there was a smile on her face. Her dreams were coming true. This was everything she wanted. And she was going to get it.

  As they started the set list again, Bella lost herself in the music. She closed her eyes and poured everything she had into song after song, because she knew if she gave herself the space to start thinking, she’d be lost.

  It was the same reason she’d turned her phone to silent and ignored all the text messages and calls from Jeremy. She couldn’t allow herself the opportunity to dwell on Glacier Falls, not even for a moment. She needed to focus.

  It was the only way.

  “She’s gone.”

  Gone.

  Bella was gone.

  Jeremy replayed the conversation he’d had with Roy earlier that night at least a dozen times in his head. Maybe more. It still didn’t make any sense.

  “But she didn’t call.”

  The old man had simply shrugged, but the look on his face was clear. He felt sorry for Jeremy. Or maybe it was for himself.

  Bella had left him, too.

  But at least he’d gotten to say good-bye.

  “I don’t understand…”

  Jeremy knew he’d sounded like a fool. A weak, twisted up by a woman, fool but he couldn’t help it.

  Earlier that day, he’d been on top of the world, ready to tell her that he was falling for her. Hard.

  And she’d just left?

  Dammit, he was a fool.

  He’d made small talk with Roy for a few more minutes, but Jeremy didn’t even remember what they’d spoken about except for a brief conversation about how he’d pick the older man up and take him to the firehall for the Christmas Eve dinner the next night. With Bella gone, he’d need a ride and…

  “Dammit, Bella.” He spoke to his empty apartment and kicked at a shoe that he hadn’t bothered to put away.

  He’d texted her twice and left two voice messages. His pride wouldn’t let him leave any more.

  If she wanted to leave without so much as a word to him, well, that was all he needed to know about how she felt. Obviously he’d been wrong about her. Wrong about what they shared and the connection they had. Very wrong.

  He should have known something like this would happen. He’d been burned by women before. He should know better than to open up his heart.

  But even as he let himself think those things, he couldn’t make himself believe them. Bella was different. He just knew it. What he had with her…it was different.

  It didn’t matter that it hadn’t been long. Time didn’t matter. He just needed to…what?

  Jeremy looked down at the shoe he’d just kicked across the floor.

  He needed to go for a run.

  After a quick change, Jeremy laced up his shoes, took one last look at his cell phone, and hit the road. It was a clear night and with no cloud cover, it was cold, not that it bothered Jeremy. He pushed his body hard on the icy roads, only vaguely registering that he should be careful. Breaking a leg the day before Christmas wouldn’t benefit anyone.

  The colorful lights on almost every house and tree cast bright shadows on the snow under his feet as he pressed on, trying to ignore the fact that he’d be celebrating the holiday without Bella.

  He ran until he couldn’t think anymore. Until all thoughts of Bella, their time together, and her leaving were erased from his brain, replaced only by the basic thoughts of putting one foot in front of the other, inhaling and exhaling as he pushed through the quiet streets of Glacier Falls.

  It wasn’t until over an hour later when, exhausted, he crawled into bed and closed his eyes that thoughts of Bella once more filled his brain.

  Chapter 10

  The next morning, Jeremy needed almost an entire pot of coffee to pull himself together enough to face the day. He’d been up way too late tossing and turning after his run, which had only worked to clear his mind until he stopped moving. The truth was he couldn’t turn off his brain and no matter how he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking of Bella or what went wrong between them for her to leave without a word.

  Sure, Roy said she had a gig with her band. A good one. A career-changing gig. And he would never in a million years begrudge her that opportunity. But she hadn’t said good-bye.

  And that was the one thing he’d focused on all night until finally, the sun streamed through his window. With the dawning of a new day, he was out of time. He had turkeys to get into the oven at the fire station for dinner later that night, and there was no way he was going to even try to explain why he couldn’t get it done this year.

  No. There was simply no time for a broken heart on Christmas Eve. Not for Jeremy.

  As it turned out, working in the kitchen at the firehall was a great way to put thoughts of Bella out of his mind, and he’d done a great job of hiding any hurt or heartache that he was feeling.

  Or so he’d thought.

  It wasn’t until they got the last bird in the oven, that Stephanie Starz, who’d jumped in with both hands to help out now that she was Glacier Falls’ newest resident, turned and snapped a dishtowel at him.

  “What’s up?” she asked when he gave her a what the hell look.

  “What do you mean?” He grabbed the empty bowls that had held the bread crumbs they’d used to stuff inside the birds and tossed them in the sink before picking up a rag.

  “With you,” she said. “What’s going on? You seem…”

  “Festive?” He made his best effort to grin. “Busy? Overwhelmed with a huge to-do—”

  “Sad.”

  She said it so matter-of-factly, Jeremy decided not to even bother trying to deny it.

  “I am.” He shrugged and turned his back to fill the sink with hot soapy water. “She left.”

  “Bella.”

  It wasn’t a question, so he didn’t reply.

  “It’s hard to be involved with someone with a career like hers.”

  Jeremy turned around, suds on his hands, and looked at his new friend. Not long ago, she’d been engaged to be married in what was supposed to be the wedding of the century according to the tabloids, but at the last minute, had called it off.

  “I know a few things about that,” she said simply.

  He offered her a sad smile. “I guess you do.”

  Without asking, Steph joined him at the sink. He turned his attention to the dishes, handing each one to her for drying.

  “I heard she was offered a pretty big opportunity.”

  He nodded without asking how she knew. In a small town like Glacier Falls, it wasn’t unusual for word to get around quickly.

  “That’s what it sounds like.”

  “Hard to say no to.”

  He shrugged. “I guess.” He handed her a large platter.

  “I don’t pretend to know what it’s like for everyone,” she said after a moment. “But I do know that with people like us it’s almost impossible to separate your worlds.” Jeremy turned to stare at her but she was focused on the plate in her hands. “It’s acting for me,” she continued. “It’s like a drug. Like a pull. I can’t not do it. When I’m on set, I feel alive, like I’m doing what I was born to do. Does that make sense?”

  He nodded as she finally looked at him.

  “I guess it might be like when I’m fighting a fire. It’s as if I were meant to be there in that moment, saving that building and saving lives.”

  Steph smiled. “Exactly. And when you put it that way, your career is far more noble.”

  “That�
�s ridiculous. It’s just different.” He shut her down. “The arts are crucial and we all know it. We’d go insane if we didn’t have entertainment. It’s not better or worse. It’s just different.”

  “Thank you for that.”

  “I mean it.” He handed her a glass bowl.

  “Do you understand maybe why she left the way she did?”

  Jeremy thought about it for a moment, but finally he shook his head.

  “Would you be able to choose?” she asked him. “Between firefighting and her?”

  He moved to shake his head, but something stopped him. “It’s different.”

  Her smile was sad, like a woman who knew the answer and knew he was wrong only because she herself had seen more than her share of heartbreak because of a career she loved.

  “I never asked her to.” His voice was laced with sadness, because he already knew what she was going to say.

  “That’s the point, Jeremy. You didn’t have to.”

  “That’s a wrap, everyone. Go home, get dressed, and see you there at five sharp.”

  Bella sank into the sofa that had been pushed against the wall of Kyle’s studio apartment and dropped her head back, letting her eyes close for a moment. Between the drive through the mountains, the exhausting rehearsal the night before followed by a mostly sleepless night and another morning of rehearsals, she wasn’t sure how she was going to keep her eyes open long enough to actually get through the gig later that night.

  “I know what you need.”

  Bella snapped her eyes open at the touch of Kyle’s hand squeezing her thigh. Before she could react, he traced a finger up the inside of her leg. She scooted backward seconds before things got even more inappropriate.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Don’t pretend you don’t know.” His smile was slow and lazy. “This was always your favorite way to unwind after a long rehearsal.” He leaned over her and moved to kiss her neck, while his hand cupped her breast, all before she even realized what he was doing.