Home For The Holidays

by Elena Aitken

  “Normally I’d say I’m fine,” Sunshine told her, “but today I can’t summon the strength. I need a soak and sleep.”

  “Of course. I’ll bring up a tray of snacks in a minute to tide you over until morning. I wish I didn’t have to kick you out so soon.” Sunshine looked at her blankly and Autumn’s face fell. “I assumed Cole had told you; I’ve got more guests coming tomorrow afternoon. I’ll need the room back by lunch time.”

  “Oh, of course,” Sunshine said, her spirits dipping again. “We’ll find somewhere else to stay.”

  “Don’t worry,” Autumn assured her. “Claire and Jamie have room for you tomorrow night. Do you remember Jamie?”

  “Jamie Lassiter? Of course! He’s married, too?” She remembered the easygoing cowboy who used to work for Ethan’s family. He used to hang out at the rifle range with the others.

  “That he is. To Ethan’s sister, Claire.”

  “I never met her.”

  “You’ll like her. She’s an interior decorator. They have a baby named Lynn. Anyway, Jamie would love to catch up with Cole, so it’s all settled.”

  Soon after she left, Cole brought up their bags and Sunshine sat on the bed, exhausted and thoroughly disheartened from the news they’d have to leave in the morning.

  “Guess there’s no use unpacking,” Cole said.

  “No, not if we’re leaving tomorrow. Mind if I hog the tub?”

  “Can I join you?”

  Sunshine shook her head. “Not tonight.” When his face fell, she went on. “I’m sorry. I don’t feel very well. Any other time.” They had bathed that way so many times in the past; she hoped he didn’t mind that she was refusing, but after all Fran’s stories about their many encounters, she just didn’t think she could be with him that way right now.

  Cole’s expression tightened as if he could hear her thoughts, but he didn’t protest. “Anything I can get you?”

  “No. I just need peace and quiet. And sleep. I’ll keep my bath short.”

  “Take as long as you want.” He came to drop a kiss on her head. “I’ll go catch up with Ethan.”

  “I’ll see you later.” She bent down to open a suitcase and look for her robe, breathing a sigh of relief when the door shut behind Cole. The memory of Fran’s stupid stories was only one reason she didn’t want to bathe with Cole. She was afraid he would recognize the early signs of pregnancy she’d begun to see in her body. Her breasts were just a little bigger, for one thing. The twinges she felt deep in her abdomen weren’t visible, of course, but Cole knew her so well—wouldn’t he sense something was going on?

  She scooped her robe out of the suitcase, hurried into the en suite and locked the door. Turning on the taps, she let the water run into the tub and began to strip off her clothes.

  Before she traveled, she hadn’t thought much about children, but unexpectedly, children had figured into her trip right from the start. She’d wanted to learn about cooking methods all over the world and she’d found it easy to meet people in the various countries she traveled to who were eager to invite her into their homes and demonstrate their techniques. She’d expected to spend time with women as they cooked over their fires, hearths, grills and stoves, but she’d never realized that meant she’d spend time with their kids, too. Looking back, it should have been obvious, but as a single woman with no nieces or nephews, children hadn’t crossed her mind. She’d hardly spent any time with them since she was one herself, but all over the world babies, toddlers, preschoolers and even school-aged kids had surrounded Sunshine as she watched their mothers prepare meals.

  At first she’d been somewhat awkward around the little ones, but as time went by she began to enjoy their company. She worked hard to make them laugh—which actually hadn’t been that hard. As she warmed up to the children, their mothers warmed up to her, until Sunshine realized she’d been missing something in her life at home.

  During the first year, as they traveled through many remote regions, she engaged with one large family after another, surrounded by women and children of all ages. Even when she moved on to the larger centers in Europe, she still encountered children in many of the kitchens she visited.

  It must have worked some magic on her birth control. Sunshine had never missed a day of taking the Pill—she was sure of it.

  Mostly.

  There was that time she’d gotten ill in Cambodia. And the time they’d been delayed in the hills of India and hadn’t made it back to the city to a drug store before her old set ran out. But they’d been careful then. And once they returned to Europe they’d always been in reach of a prescription.

  She couldn’t be pregnant now.

  But somehow she was.

  When Sunshine had learned the news, joy had swelled her heart to bursting, but then reason kicked in and she’d become terrified. Those two emotions had been at war within her ever since. Her arms ached to hold her baby, but she was afraid she’d be a lousy mother. Whenever Cole wasn’t looking, she read everything she could about pregnancy on her cell phone. She hadn’t succumbed to more than passing nausea yet, but the past twenty-four hours had worn her down to the bone.

  What would Cole say when he knew?

  She knew the answer: they had to get married. They had to buy a house. They needed a permanent home.

  When she showed him the ranch, he’d be thrilled.

  She hoped.

  Sometimes when she woke up in the wee hours of the morning and couldn’t fall asleep again, she wondered if she’d got it all wrong. What if Cole didn’t want children after all? What if he was sick of her after nearly three years on the road?

  What if Fran looked all too enticing after a monotonous diet of Sunshine?

  That was just the exhaustion talking, Sunshine told herself. She shut off the taps and stepped into the blessedly hot water. Sinking down into it, she let the heat drain some of the stress out of her muscles. Maybe she could buy a tub like this one for their new house. That would be heaven.

  Once again the vision of an ultra-modern Chicago restaurant paraded through her mind. There was still time for her to sell the ranch and insist they move to the city—

  But Sunshine knew she couldn’t do that to Cole—or her unborn baby. She’d create a haven for her family while Cole tried his hand at ranching the way he’d always wanted. She’d be happy.

  It was time to settle down.

  Cole wasn’t a man to create trouble out of nothing, but it worried him that Sunshine had turned down his offer to share her bath.

  It was all Fran’s fault, too. Lord, that woman had a mouth. When they were teens he’d ignored that aspect of her personality, too enthralled by her other attributes. Once he’d spent a few months in her company, though, even those attributes hadn’t been compensation enough for the fact they had nothing in common. Fran was all about appearances and one-upmanship. She’d left Chance Creek, become an insurance agent and fought her way up the corporate ladder until she could flash her lavish lifestyle around whenever she came home to visit her folks.

  Cole hoped Sunshine would soon forget all about her in the festive activities to come. He’d make sure the two women didn’t cross paths again—even if he did check on Fran’s father over the weekend—and soon enough Fran would leave town again. She never stayed long.

  For the moment, he’d let Sunshine have a good soak alone, as much as he wanted to be there to hold her. When she’d had a chance to rest, they’d reconnect. Soon enough they’d laugh about this. He bundled up and went outside to look for Ethan.

  “Cole! Over here,” Ethan called out when Cole came around the side of the house. “Just heading to the barn to do a few chores. Want to come along?”

  “Sure thing.” Stuffing his gloved hands into the pockets of his winter coat, he hurried to catch up to Ethan. A minute later he stepped into the barn and took a deep breath. Now this was what country should smell like. He inhaled again.

  “You’ve been away too long, haven’t you?”

  “Damn st
raight. Thought I might never make it back.”

  “You said that before.” Ethan tilted his hat back. “Something happen while you were gone?”

  “Sunshine remembered she’s a city girl.” He gave a quick rundown of their travel itinerary.

  Ethan whistled. “You think she still wants to live in Chance Creek?”

  “I sure hope so. I don’t want to live in Chicago.”

  “Does she miss her family?”

  Cole felt a pang. “Probably. Although her parents visited us in Paris a couple of months ago.”

  “Still. Women like to live near their kin.”

  Cole followed Ethan around as he tended to his chores. He itched to pitch in, but Ethan moved with the practical grace of a man on his own turf.

  “Going to take over the rifle range again?”

  “I’m thinking of heading in a new direction.” Cole pretended to examine the tools that hung from pegs along the wall. In the past, he’d run the range more as a way to honor his father’s memory than because it really called to him. It wasn’t a huge money-making operation. Now that they were home, he needed to think long term.

  “Really? Like what?”

  “I don’t know. Ranching, maybe?” Buying the restaurant had eaten a big hole into his savings, but he thought he might still be able to swing a down payment on a ranch. A small one. Especially if he sold his rentals.

  “Huh. You got a partner?” Ethan kept working.

  “Nah. Figured I’d start on my own.”

  “Well, I’m not one to interfere, but I wouldn’t do it that way. It’s hard work, and I don’t think Sunshine will be a lot of help. Nothing against Sunshine, she’s great—but like you said, she’s not a country girl.”

  “No. I thought I’d start with a small herd. Go from there.”

  Ethan was already shaking his head. “You won’t make any money. It’s go big or go home these days, Cole. The business ain’t what it used to be. That’s why we’ve got the guest house and three other partners pitching in to pay the bills.”

  Cole’s shoulders slumped. He’d halfway known that already, but he would have liked to find out he was wrong. “What would you do if you were me?”

  Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t rightly know. Something specialized, that’s for sure. You should talk to Jamie. He’s got an idea a minute. He’s turned his horse breeding business into a going concern.”

  “I’ll do that.” Cole looked his friend over while Ethan bent over his task. “Ranching suits you. I was sorry to hear about your folks, though.” Before he’d come outside, Autumn had filled him in about the accident that claimed Ethan’s parents’ lives.

  Ethan nodded. “It was hard going after Mom and Dad passed away. For a while I thought I would lose everything—especially when Lacey ditched me. Turned out to be a blessing in disguise, though. I met Autumn and everything turned around. I love being a dad. Arianna might only be twenty-one months, but that girl has got me wrapped around her finger. And can you keep a secret?”

  “Sure.” Why not? He was already keeping a big one.

  “Autumn’s pregnant again. She’s due next summer.”

  “That’s great.” He hoped he sounded enthusiastic. He was happy for Ethan, but he was jealous, too. He wanted everything Ethan had. A ranch, a home, a wife, a family.

  “Something wrong?” Ethan asked.

  Cole looked up to find his friend watching him. “Nope. Just wondering when it’ll be my turn.”

  “You and Sunshine didn’t marry while you were gone? We all wondered if you would pick some exotic location for your wedding.”

  Cole sighed. “No, we wanted to wait until we got home.” It seemed like an oversight now. “We’ll nail down our plans soon.”

  “What are you getting her for Christmas?”

  “It’s a secret.”

  “I won’t tell.” Ethan looked interested. “Shoot.”

  “I bought Sunshine a restaurant in town. She needs something to ground her here—besides me—and she’s such a good chef, it seemed only fair to get her one since she’s agreed to live here rather than return to Chicago.”

  “That sounds like a great idea.”

  “It did when we were in Europe. Now I’m not so sure. Do you think there’s too much competition in town?”

  “Nah. People like to eat.”

  “I have a lot of work to do on it before Christmas.”

  “Tell me how I can help. I keep pretty busy, but I can always find an hour or two in my day if I look for them, and I’m pretty handy.” Ethan turned back to his chores. Cole followed along.

  “Normally I don’t like to be indebted to other people, but I’ll take you up on that offer. There’s too much for one man to do in the time that’s left.”

  “Call me anytime.”

  “Thanks.” When Ethan was done, he followed him back to the house, feeling more hopeful than he had an hour ago. He’d missed that kind of neighborly attitude while they’d toured Europe’s big cities. While the villagers and townsmen of third-world countries reminded him of the inhabitants of Chance Creek in the way they helped each other, the city folk were more aloof.

  Inside, he checked on Sunshine and found her asleep, so he joined the Cruzes for dinner and helped clean up. Then he said good-night to Autumn and gave Arianna, a bright-eyed little girl who took after her mother, a peck on the cheek, and headed upstairs.

  Sunshine was still tucked into bed when he came in. All the lights were off except a soft glow emanating from an ornate lamp on the bedside table. It looked like she’d eaten the light meal Autumn had carried up to her. Her hair was a slash of gold across the plum-colored duvet cover as she slept.

  Cole got ready quietly and took a quick shower. He dried off and climbed in beside her, trying hard not to wake her, but Sunshine stirred.

  “Good-night,” she whispered and turned over. Her breathing evened out just moments later.

  Cole kissed her softly. “Good-night.”

  “You don’t have to help,” Autumn said the next morning as Sunshine emptied the dishwasher in the large professional kitchen downstairs.

  “It’s my pleasure. You’re so busy—whoops!” She just caught herself from dropping a stack of clean plates. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry, Arianna!” She had nearly tripped over the little girl.

  Arianna grinned up at her. Dressed in a light blue jumper and striped stockings, she was adorable. Her tiny pig tails stuck up from her head like mushrooms and her blue eyes shone with mischief.

  “Come up here, pumpkin.” Autumn lifted her up and put her in a high chair stationed next to the counter. “I hate to corral her,” she confessed to Sunshine, “but she has the uncanniest ability to be right where my feet are at all times.” She gave Arianna a coloring book and a pack of crayons. “That’ll keep her occupied for about thirty seconds.”

  “How on earth do you get everything done?” Sunshine watched Autumn move a mile a minute, chopping vegetables in preparation for the salad she was making for lunch. She picked up her own pace and finished emptying the dishwasher. She loved the way Autumn had decorated the large guest house for the holidays. There were boughs of greenery on the mantel and stair railing, threaded with red and silver beaded chains. The tree was massive, hung with rustic ornaments. Touches of red, green and gold shimmered everywhere she looked. Sunshine could picture the great room as a spread in a holiday decorating magazine.

  “I have help most days.” Autumn looked over her shoulder. “If you could clear the table and load the dishwasher, that would be great.”

  Sunshine matched her pace to Autumn’s, but she was only half-finished when Arianna chucked the box of crayons across the room.

  “Uh oh!” the little girl crowed, and threw the coloring book after them.

  “Uh oh, my foot.” But Autumn kissed her daughter’s head. “Now what do you want to do, honey?”

  “Down! Down!”

  With a sigh, Autumn complied and set Arianna on her feet. “Go pick
up those crayons.”

  “No!”

  “That’s her favorite word,” she told Sunshine. “Watch your step.”

  “I will.” Sunshine deposited her load of dishes in the dishwasher, then gathered the crayons.

  “Thanks.” Autumn had finished making the salad and was cracking eggs into a bowl. “So Ethan says you used to run a vegan restaurant. Will you reopen it?”

  “It was more like a café. In the front of the rifle range, if you can believe it.”

  “Ethan’s told me all about it. He said you and Cole had a rocky beginning, but then you fell in love.” She whipped the eggs into a smooth froth.

  “That’s pretty much how it went. Then, after we’d lived together for a few months, we discovered my aunt had left us another inheritance. We took the cash and traveled the world. I wanted to see how people in indigenous cultures cooked. I had this idea that getting back to basics would teach me about the essence of food, and maybe life, too.”

  “Did it work?”

  “For a little while.” Sunshine moved back to the table and picked up another stack of dishes. “Then I got scared.”

  “What happened?” Autumn crossed to the stove and turned it on. “I’m assuming you don’t want part of this omelette. Is there anything else I can get you? I never get to eat at breakfast time when I’m feeding everyone else.” She put a pan on a burner and gave it a moment to heat before adding a pat of butter to it.

  “I’m full, thanks. Breakfast was wonderful.” Autumn was a thoughtful cook and she’d served several vegan offerings. Sunshine had discovered she was starving and devoured them. She’d enjoyed chatting with the other guests, too. Autumn’s business was obviously doing well. Sunshine placed the dishes into the machine. “Anyway, I think it was the simplicity of it all. The people were living in primitive conditions that would render me suicidal if I knew I was stuck there, and not only were they surviving—they were laughing. And singing. And raising children. I don’t want to romanticize it, because poverty isn’t romantic at all. But…” She searched for words. “There’s a difference between what you want and what you need.” She rolled her eyes. “God, that’s a song, isn’t it? I guess everything was so raw it really became clear. Too clear.”