Claiming Family

by Desi Lin

  “Dinner.” The word came out on a moan when his fingers caressed my breast. “Your parents,” I panted and gripped his hands to stop him from freeing buttons. Taking a deep breath, I told my body to calm the ever-loving fuck down and stepped back. “We should head down.”

  I smiled, hoping it didn’t look as fake as it felt. With one last look in the mirror, I swallowed down the bile rising in my throat.

  Souta was right. It wasn’t me, but I was a guest in his parents’ house. I needed to keep them happy, do the things they expected. When they were able to make it, his folks always looked so nice for dinner, and even now, Souta wore black slacks and an emerald-green button-down, though he left several buttons undone, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. A pendant shone at his neck, one I hadn’t seen before, and simple crystal studs sparkled in his ears.

  He looked amazing and elegant.

  Next to him, I felt like a cheap, dollar store doll in the same white blouse, knee-length black pencil skirt, and plain black pumps I’d worn last time.

  Souta crossed his arms over his chest, thrusting his bottom lip out in a pout I’d seen him use several times on Brooks. “You’re no fun.”

  Grinning, I shook my head, knowing he wasn’t serious.

  “Well, come on then.” He grabbed my hand and tugged me down the hall, the stairs, and to the dining room.

  I stumbled after him, though I seemed to trip less the more often he did it.

  My insides cramped as we walked into the formal dining room. Like last time, Souta’s parents were already seated when we arrived, dressed as nicely as Souta and me. The table once more set with plain white dishes and cloth napkins, the light from the pendant lamp above the table glinted off the silverware.

  My hand reached up to brush hair out of my face, forgetting I’d clipped it back to prevent that very thing. I dropped it quickly hoping no one saw my mistake. Souta skirted around me and pulled a chair out from the table, waiting for me to sit.

  I still wasn’t used to this part of the dinner ritual. Actually, there were a lot of things about the dinner ritual I still wasn’t used to. Plopping gracelessly into the chair, Souta scooted it back in. Probably looked like some kind of albatross or something.

  Souta’s mom smiled at him as he took his seat. “Good evening, dear.” She turned to me. “Sera, you look lovely tonight.”

  “Thank you,” I murmured. The arrival of dinner saved me from trying to find something more to say.

  The aroma wafting off the dishes made my stomach growl. A bowl was set in front of me filled with broth, noodles, and little meatballs. A plate set off to the side held a variety of things to add in. I recognized the pho despite it looking slightly different from the one time I’d had it. When I sipped the broth, the flavors burst on my tongue, and I needed to bite back a moan.

  Thankfully, no one talked for several minutes as we all prepared our bowls and dug in.

  After a minute, I glanced up to find Souta and his parents using chopsticks instead of the large soup spoons. I swallowed hard. I didn’t know how to use chopsticks. With shaky hands, I turned to Souta, and he must have read my expression.

  “Never used chopsticks?” He set his down, a grin spreading wide over his face. “No one expects you to, you know.”

  I nodded and went back to my dinner, but I couldn’t help but think I saw disappointment in his eyes and his parents’. Maybe I imagined it, but maybe I should try, right?

  “Sera, dear,” as Souta’s mom spoke, I glanced up, “we have something we’d like to discuss with you.”

  My stomach clenched tight, and I set my spoon down before my trembling hand dropped it. I couldn’t seem to stop these sensations when they were around, and it annoyed me. I wanted to scowl but worried how Souta’s mom would take it.

  I took a deep breath, willing my hand to stop shaking and my stomach to calm.

  “Really, Mom? Now?”

  “Yes, now. When do you propose we talk to her? Time is running short.”

  Souta’s scowl startled me. I’d never seen him scowl at his mom before. “You said you’d let me talk to her.”

  Souta’s mom set her chopsticks down and speared him with a stern, disapproving gaze. “Yes. We did. Two weeks ago. You’ve failed to bring it up, so now, I must.”

  Souta sighed and flopped back against his chair, scowl now fixed on his pho.

  His mother’s face relaxed, and she turned back to me with a smile. “Now, we have an important event next week. An annual tradition, really. It’s nothing to worry about, just a family affair, but we’d love for you to join us.”

  “I… um…” a response failed to appear as I tried to read between the lines. A family affair? What did that mean?

  “Seriously?” Souta’s angry tone caught my attention. “Why don’t you tell her everything? She should know what she’s getting into before deciding.”

  That didn’t sound good.

  “It’s really not a big deal.” She smiled again, peace and calm radiating off her.

  “Not a big deal?” Souta turned to me. “This little family affair she’s trying to get you to attend is a formal ball that our family does once a year. Each member of the family, every member of their Genus, their spouses or current others, their children attend. It’s not by any means a small affair. Last year, there were nearly two-hundred people there. And by formal, I mean ball gowns, tuxes, and a fancy dinner with a million rules you don’t know…”

  The blood drained from my face as he spoke. Two-hundred people? My breath caught in my throat. Ball gowns? Tuxes? Fancy dinner? My stomach rolled, nausea churning. My eyes darted around the room as my breath came faster and shorter. I couldn’t be here. I needed space, air. I needed to be alone for five damn minutes without the fucking walls closing in on me.

  “I need to…” unable to finish my sentence, I stood.

  It was all too much, and I strode out of the dining room toward the door.

  My promise to Souta not to take off again without warning stopped me next to him for a mere second, eyes fixed on the floor in front of me. “I’m going for a walk. I need some air.”

  Once out of the room, I got all of three steps beyond the threshold before Souta stopped me.

  “I’ll come with you.” Steel and command laced his tone, like it always did when he wanted to get his way.

  This time, it wouldn’t work. I needed some time alone, and I never seemed to get that around here.

  I didn’t even bother turning around. “No.”

  “Dammit, Sera, it’s late. You shouldn’t be out alone.”

  “You don’t get it, do you? I need to be alone! Just leave me be for five goddamn minutes, for fuck’s sake!” Praying Souta would stay behind, I stormed out the door.

  Heading toward the park felt too weird this late at night, so I walked along the streets. The bright lampposts would be safer, too.

  A breeze rose as I walked, stirring the short hairs at the nape of my neck. I shivered in the cool air, wishing I’d thought to grab my jacket. With the full moon and the stars shining bright overhead, plenty of light illuminated the streets, but after a handful of blocks, an uneasy feeling settled into my gut.

  I wandered aimlessly, for the most part, trying not to let thoughts of the family affair Akiko wanted me to attend consume me, simply following the brightly lit streets. A tiny part of me tried to push the matter, knowing I needed to deal with my panicky feelings and figure out why it happened, but I couldn’t, not now. Reacting without thinking got me into a lot of trouble in the past, and until I managed to push the panic away, I would only be reacting.

  As the cold settled into my bones, I heated myself enough to ward it off and kept walking. The heat pulsed as I feed it tiny bits of power to keep it at the right amount of heat. My feet began to ache. I pulled my phone from my pocket to check the time when a chill, having nothing to do with the cold night air, ran down my spine.

  Uneasy, I checked around me, startled to realize I’d traveled farther th
an I thought. The lamps here were fewer and farther between, but I hadn’t left the neighborhood. Deep, shadowy areas and little-used alleyways didn’t exist here, and no odd, out-of-place characters lurked on street corners.

  I shoved the unsettled feeling down deep and kept walking.

  My mind circled back to the guys. They’d been trying so hard to make me feel like I belonged, but they didn’t understand. Deep inside, I knew I belonged with them, there was no doubt we would find our way in our relationship, our Genus, and our future, eventually.

  However, I was less sure about where I fit with their families and with my newfound one.

  Being late, the stillness and quiet seemed almost unnatural, so when a loud crunching noise echoed through the night from behind me, I stilled. Thoughts of the boys and everything going on abruptly fled. I rubbed my hand over the thin material of the white shirt I wore. After a minute, with no more sounds breaking the night, I continued my walk.

  My hand drifted down to the pocket of my skirt and wrapped around my phone as the sense of unease grew. A muffled sound reached my ears. Was it a footstep? My breathing quickened as I pulled my phone from my pocket. Staring at the screen, I debated who to call. My first instinct told me to reach out to the boys. Souta would come, but I wasn’t ready to face him yet. Scrolling through my too-short list of contacts, I told myself to swallow my fucking pride and call him.

  A contact I’d forgotten about caught my eye, and my finger hovered over it. It was the worst idea ever. He wouldn’t come. He wouldn’t care. Another barely-there noise reached my ears.

  I hit the call button.

  Seventeen

  “I swear to all the elements if this isn’t some insanely hot chic looking for a booty call, I’m setting someone on fire.” The voice growled over the line.

  “Ash?” I hated the tremble in my voice, but I failed to realize how freaked I was until that moment.

  A shuffle behind me made me jump, and my eyes darted around the street. My breath caught when I realized I didn’t recognize anything. Where in the elements was I? How far did I wander? I was such a fucking idiot, wandering around, especially in this damn skirt and pumps.

  “Who is this?” The short, sharp words sounded more alert than before.

  A crinkle echoed down the street and pushed aside my hesitation.

  “It… It’s Seraphina.” My voice lacked its usual snark and confidence as my breathing came fast and shallow.

  “What the fuck?” he growled. “How the hell did you get my number?”

  “Mi… Michael. Dad.” I swallowed hard and spun, trying to get my bearings. “Just in case, he said.”

  Elements, was that movement? Calm down, Sera. You’re freaking yourself out. Deep breath. Eyes peeled, I headed down the street, still unsure where exactly I would end up.

  “What’s wrong?” While still sharp, his words no longer held irritation but a wary alertness I found comforting.

  “I think…” My voice trembled, and I took another deep breath. “I think I’m being followed.”

  “Where are you?”

  I sent a silent thank-you to the universe and looked around for street signs. Not far from the corner, I dashed the remaining distance and read them off.

  “You’re close. Ten minutes, tops.” A clinking sounded through the phone, and I hoped it meant he’d grabbed car keys. “Be right back.” From the faintness of the words, I knew he called them out to someone else.

  A sliver of discomfort ran down my spine at the thought I interrupted his night.

  Cringing at my own weakness, I stumbled over the words to make things right. “Never… Never mind. I’ll be okay, just being stupid.” I hung up before he could answer, hoping he’d take my reassurances at face value. Stupidly, I closed my eyes, taking deep, even breaths to calm myself down. My mind kept escalating every little sound, the events that sent me out here in the first place not helping in the slightest.

  Despite appearances, I wasn’t defenseless. I needed to remember who I was and who I wasn’t. Besides, it wasn’t all that late, in reality. Dinner had been later than the previous time, but I hadn’t exactly been walking around for eight hours or anything. Reaching into my pocket, my fingers brushed the cool metal of the lighter I kept there, reminding me of what I could do. Calmer, I decided to try retracing my steps.

  The rumble of an engine echoed loudly down the street. I turned my head in time to catch the sleek, black motorcycle turn the corner at the far end of the street. As it drew closer, I noticed the flames painted on the sides and adorning the helmet of the rider. It pulled to a stop next to me, and the rider removed his helmet, holding it out in my direction.

  “I didn’t see anyone,” Ash said, “but let’s not take chances. Hop on.”

  “What about a helmet for you?”

  “Nah,” he shook his head, “I only have one. Let’s go, we’ll talk at my place.”

  Part of me hesitated. Ash wasn’t acting upset, but he didn’t sound concerned, either. I didn’t want to hang around, and I didn’t know how far I’d wandered, so I pushed that part of me down. Slipping the helmet on, I hiked up my skirt, climbed onto the bike, and gripped his sides.

  I’d ridden on a bike once before, and the ride tickled those memories to the surface.

  The guy who taught me to play the guitar—his name escaped me—had given me a ride on his bike once. I didn’t remember being more than eleven or twelve at the time. I’d loved the freeing sensation then, and the years hadn’t changed my enjoyment at all.

  With no way to talk, the ride remained silent, giving me time to get lost inside my head again.

  However, before a single thought could coalesce, we pulled into a small, two-story home.

  Ash held the bike still as I used his shoulders for balance as I climbed off.

  Unstrapping the helmet, I handed it to him once he swung off the bike.

  He headed toward the front door, and I followed silently, not really looking around. I didn’t know what to say or how to act. Shock still ran through me that he came in the first place.

  Between the fear and the shock, I just wanted to collapse.

  Lights flipped on, washing the dark hallway in a dim, pale glow. Ash tucked the helmet into a closet near the entrance, then led me into a large kitchen. Signs of a bachelor pad were obvious, even when I wasn’t actually looking for them. Bare counters, dirty dishes in the sink, and not a single decoration anywhere.

  “Sit.” He nodded toward a table with mismatched chairs. I sat as he made his way over to a cupboard and pulled a mug down. “Coffee or cocoa?”

  “Cocoa.” I never liked the taste of coffee.

  My shoulders slumped as I collapsed into a chair. Watching him as he moved around the kitchen, exhaustion moved through me.

  “Nice tats.”

  I jerked my head up, not realizing I’d begun to doze. When I’d called Ash, I was surprised by how long I had been out. Between the time and the walk, it was a miracle I’d managed to stay awake on the drive over.

  “What?” My brain failed to process his words.

  “Your wrists.” He pointed in my direction with a spoon.

  Wait. When did he get a spoon?

  “Oh.” Brilliant conversation, Sera. Way to go.

  Ash crossed the room, setting a mug with steam rolling off it in front of me. “They look great. Good quality work.” Ash took a seat, another mug in his hand. “Didn’t you just turn eighteen? They don’t look fresh.”

  Confused and sleepy, I couldn’t move past the fact he came for me and, now, wanted to talk tats.

  “Why?” I asked and picked up the mug, blowing on it before taking a sip.

  “Well, if you got them after you turned eighteen, they’d still be healing and really bright—”

  “No,” I cut him off. “Why did you come? You barely tolerate me.”

  Ash sighed and lifted his mug. “Not true.”

  Part of me wanted to believe him, but one good moment at Dad’s didn’t ne
gate his attitude before then.

  “I tend to react first, and usually badly.” He licked his lips, set his mug down, and turned toward me. “I owe you an apology. I was pissed at my dad for a perceived betrayal of my mom. I realize it’s stupid since I didn’t know her, but—” He shrugged as if words escaped him, but I knew exactly how he felt. “Is someone going to be looking for you? Where are you staying? The dorms?”

  “Not anymore.” I set the mug down. “I should call Souta, though. He’s probably going out of his mind.”

  A question filled his eyes. One I would answer later.

  During dinner, I set my phone on silent, and I had been too freaked out when I called Ash to notice anything, so seeing the missed call and text from Souta made guilt churn in my stomach.

  Heart heavy, I made the call I should have made in the first place.

  Souta answered on the first ring. “Thank the elements you’re alive. Where are you? I’ve been going crazy with worry. I know things aren’t settled between us, but dammit, hot stuff—”

  “I’m fine.” I cut him off before he could work himself into a lather. “I’m, well, I’m at my brother’s.”

  Complete silence.

  “Souta?”

  “Why are you with that asshole?” His carefully measured words told me he wanted to shout and scream, but knew he shouldn’t.

  Telling him what happened over the phone would be a horrible idea. “I’ll tell you when you get here.”

  Ash slid a paper across the table.

  I looked down to find an address scrawled across it and read it off to Souta. It took a moment to reassure him, again, I would be fine until he arrived.

  As I hung up, the question was still posed on Ash’s face.

  “Souta is my…” What should I say? My boyfriend? My Genus? He was both, but which was the right one in this situation?

  “Souta. As in Souta Kurihara?” Ash sipped his drink, coffee from the smell.

  “Um, yes. We’re…” I let my words trail off as I sipped my cocoa.

  “Dating? Genus? Living together?”

  The drink warmed my insides and gave me back a shot of my normal self. “Yes,” I stated simply, since all three were true.