by T M Bashford
I push out a laugh. “I’m not hiding anything. Just thinking.”
“Put me out of my misery. Is moving to Sydney something you’d at least consider doing—staying with me?”
I shrug and take my hands back to fiddle with my bikini strap.
“Overwhelm me with your enthusiasm, why don’t you?” His words are full of hurt but he leans in and kisses my forehead. “It’s a lot to decide but… think on it for a bit.”
He doesn’t move away, and I feel his breath on my skin as he speaks. A pleasant shiver passes through me.
“Break it up, you two. Time to get Finn over for dinner,” Colbie yells. “Drew, can you flick the motor off?”
Dinner is a rowdy couple of hours with Finn and Drew—who are now firm friends—competing for the biggest laughs. When we’re done, Finn insists on sleeping on Ariel in the single bunk so I can stay with Drew.
“You can have the double bed in our cabin, and Sienna and I can sleep in the bunks,” Colbie says. Sienna nods in agreement though by the way she winks at Finn, I’m pretty sure she’ll be joining him on Ariel. “I’ll take first watch, too.” Colbie smiles. The whole discussion turns my cheeks beetroot and I sit in my seat, wishing for that invisibility cloak. I say nothing, determined not to prolong the debate.
When everyone scatters in different directions, leaving me and Drew alone, he leads me to the cabin next to Eddie’s. Inside, Drew cups my face and kisses my nose. He removes his T-shirt, and I let him lead me onto the small double bed. I’m rigid with anxiety because I’m going to have to give him my answer now, not after we’ve made love. Yet, I want him to hold me and kiss me. Would it be wrong to do it one more time?
“You okay? You seem tense.” He pulls me next to him, his eyes brimming with love. How can I say no to someone who looks at me like that? Someone who clearly loves me. In answer, my fingertips curl through the smattering of hair on his pecs. My body is stretched with need and this feels so right, it’s as if my heart is woven with his. His breathing quickens and deepens, and we turn to each other. Our desire takes over; hands race under shirts and our mouths grab at each other, a lightning strike of passion pushing us to quickly unwrap each other until we’re almost naked.
Drew groans and startles me out of my unwary state. I pull away to tell him the truth—I can’t go to Sydney with him. I can’t marry him. I’ll never fit into the role of a rich man’s wife.
There’s a thud in the cabin next door and a man’s voice calls out, “Got yourself a bit of hot pussy, have you, rich boy?”
I sink back onto the mattress and Drew places a finger over my lips. “Don’t respond,” he whispers, “it’ll only make him worse.” After a few moments of silence—silence which gives me time to douse the flames that burn inside me—he turns to kiss me.
“I can’t,” I say. “I’m too embarrassed. He’s made me self-conscious—he can hear us.”
Drew takes in a huge juddering breath. “Let’s just be together and cuddle,” he says with a smile, but the disappointment and confusion turn his smile tight.
I lie with my head on his chest and can’t help but remember the times we’ve been intimate, but for now, I’ll enjoy being in his arms. Besides, I’ve hardly had any sleep in two days. We can talk about the future tomorrow.
Drew
It didn’t matter that Eddie had interrupted me and Shae, or that Shae was too embarrassed to continue fooling around. I held her for hours and finally slept deeply, waking in the chalky pink light of dawn to watch her sleep. Being with her all night helped me squash the worry she’d incited in me—how she seems anxious and distant. I guess she needs time to adapt to the idea that I’m not with Ava after all. Well, we have all the time in the world.
Everyone’s worried about cyclones. With no communications or radar on either boat due to water damage, we decide to motor back twenty-four-seven to halve the time it takes to reach Samoa. There’s no sign of the rescue authorities—we probably missed them, having moved from the coordinates they’d be heading to.
Shae and I helm Ariel while Colbie and Finn take shifts on Karma. I steer through the sleek night while Shae is below deck catching up on sleep, which gives me time to consider our future. Before I made the crossing on Karma and dealt with the whole Eddie situation, I’d wracked my brain concerning who could take over Vega Corporation instead of me. Now, after everything we’ve survived, I resolve to be the one to take over the reins from my father. I know, without a doubt, if I could ask him what his final wishes were, he’d want me to head up his business. I make a deal with the universe, promising that if we arrive safely in Samoa, then I’ll lead the company my father built into the future.
At three a.m., Shae emerges on deck for her watch, her espresso-colored hair blowing sexily in the wind. Desire uncoils inside me. I’m hungry to taste her, and I’m eager to feel her breath against my throat, her hands on my skin. Even though she’s strong, her softness always takes me by surprise. It’s as if my body was hibernating, but now it has woken up and is starving for her.
“We’ll crash into Karma in a minute.” Shae points to starboard.
I pull my eyes away from her and adjust the tiller.
“Check it out.” I point into the sky where millions of stars hang like Christmas tree baubles.
“Sirius,” she says, her voice dreamy.
“Finally, we’re together under Sirius.” I tuck her under my arm. “You smell different—not the usual apple shampoo. More roses and vanilla.”
“Brett did the shopping. Guess it was his choice,” she says.
Shae had explained how she helped Brett sober up and how he helped her fix Sassy Jam. I’m stupidly envious of the amount of time Brett has spent with Shae in the paradise of Samoa. I’m more than a little jealous that Shae got to know him—and likes him. I’ve always told her he’s good at the core and is simply going off the rails because he needs professional help, but suddenly, it’s her telling me how funny and clever he is, how he’s changed, and can be hard-working and sweet. Apparently, he’s determined to stay off the booze and drugs and visit a psychiatrist to finally deal with both the ordeal of being kidnapped and the feelings of abandonment he has about his father.
Although I fight a sensation of possessiveness, the subject of Brett makes my nerves flash. He has muscled in on my girlfriends in the past, and that makes me paranoid—he’s even made Shae smell different.
“He didn’t try anything with you, did he?” I ask, remembering the night he lunged at Shae and how I had to step in.
“At first, he was a bit too… um, flirtatious.”
I grip the tiller. “What? What did he do?”
She flicks her gaze out to sea and twists her T-shirt. “He was more verbally suggestive, and…”
“And what?”
“Once, he tried to kiss me. He was drunk and in a bad way when I got to Samoa, but he became open to… being helped, I guess. You gave me a second chance after you found out about Connor, and I decided to give him a second chance, too. I must’ve arrived on Samoa at the right moment and it wasn’t difficult to persuade him off the booze. He was genuinely helpful, we had a lot of fun and he’s a great cook, and he worked hard on the boat…”
“Yes, so you’ve said.” There’s something in her garbled response that makes me think she’s not telling me everything. Needing to snuff out the jealousy monster, I tell myself that I trust Shae. She’s probably protecting me from a truth I don’t want to hear, but if she’s okay, then I’m okay, too.
She starts to tell me about this great day she and Brett had kayaking, but I have to tune out to ensure the feelings of jealousy don’t spark any uncalled-for anger.
The sight of Samoa looming nearer has everyone singing a medley of songs and listing the foods they’re going to order the moment we get ashore. Sienna wants a margarita and a dry bed, and Colbie jokes she needs a man and a dry bed.
Shae and Finn direct us toward the Lalomanu Resort where Sienna and I worked, and I take the ding
hy into shore and run to the bar to call the authorities. When they arrive, Eddie is arrested and dragged off the boat, yelling for a lawyer and making threats.
Finn smirks. “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke.”
The four of us must give statements to the police. We talk to them one after the other and while we wait, I volunteer to treat us all to hotel rooms—the least I can do after dragging everyone through near cyclone weather and involving them in Eddie’s plans to extort me. Finn calls his mom and discovers that she and Brody are already in Samoa. I insist on booking some suites in the same resort, even though Finn shares the fact that Shae’s mum is furious with me for having endangered both her children’s lives.
“I can’t believe Mom and Brody are here,” Shae says as we settle on the beach and wait for Finn’s interview to finish. She scans the waves and sits a little too far from me than I’d like. “It’s the Gold Coast all over again.” Her face is creased with bad memories.
“No, it’s not.” I fling an arm around her shoulder and draw her in. “You’re not about to be arrested this time.” I realize she hasn’t given me a final answer, even though we’re now safe, to either question—moving to Sydney or marrying me.
“Got an answer for me yet about—” I can’t seem to say the word.
“As an American citizen, will I be allowed to move to Sydney?” she asks.
“Not sure. You might have to marry me.” I try to make the comment light, but when she smiles, there’s no life in it, as if she clipped it onto her face. Her family has emigrated to Australia already, so she knows it is possible. Why is she stalling? Could she have fallen out of love with me? Maybe she never loved me enough? Maybe I should talk to Brett. He may provide some insight into what she’s thinking now—given they spent so much time together.
I trace a finger around the edges of her hand. “I figured I’d let you and Finn go to the hotel and catch up with your family first, without me in the frame. I don’t reckon I’m very popular with them… First, I made you run off because of the misunderstanding with Ava, then I take Finn on a crossing which involved kidnapping and nearly drowning at sea. I’ll tackle them after you’ve had a family catch up and everyone is a bit more relaxed.”
When Shae shrugs, I add, “I should visit Brett, too. We have a lot of unspoken things to talk through, from him attacking you in Samoa to bringing Ava and her baby to the Gold Coast. I’ve had a lot of time to think during the trip here, and I’d like to patch up our friendship—it’s too important to me to let go. We need to clear the air so we can get back to normal when we all return to Sydney—if you decide to come to Australia...”
She says nothing. My heart feels crushed, like she has it curled in her fist. I swallow the hurt clamping my throat. “I’ll meet you at the hotel afterward.”
“Okay,” she mumbles. “Check on Sassy for me, would you? And tomorrow, I must visit George.”
I notice how she didn’t say ‘we’ must visit George.
After getting a taxi to George’s cottage, and finding him not home, I walk along the shoreline to find Sassy and Brett as per Shae’s instructions. The sight of Sassy Jam kicks at my gut. Even though Shae and I nearly died on her, those days had somehow been uncomplicated. But the sight of Brett propped in Sassy’s cockpit is incongruous. I stop in my tracks. I’ve never seen him on a sailboat, never mind peacefully staring off into the horizon. He usually can’t sit still for more than a minute. More importantly, it’s as if he’s trespassing.
I let the unfamiliar surge of jealousy dwindle before I shout his name.
He turns and stands. “Drew! Friggin’ hell. Where’s Shae?”
“She’s safe. We’re all fine.” I stride into the waves and dive in. After he helps me aboard, we backslap and flop on opposite bench seats to rake over each other. I decide he’s sober.
I break the silence. “You’re never this quiet—and calm—mate.” Brett always has a joke or a story on his lips—he hates silence. “Shae said you’d changed, but I hadn’t expected such a transformation.”
“How did she find you? What happened?”
I explain about Eddie, how we motored back and then endured the police interviews. I also tell him I missed him at my father’s funeral—which is the truth. He was there for my mother’s funeral, and despite what had happened recently, he’s been like a brother to me.
“Where’s Shae?” he asks.
I bare my soul and he wants to know where my girlfriend is…?
“She’s gone to meet up with her family. I’ll brave them later,” I explain. “I’m not their favorite son-in-law at the moment.”
“Son-in-law?” He jumps to his feet. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Brett’s definitely not right. He never lets on when he’s caught off guard and he turns everything into a joke, but now he’s practically snarling at me. His overly long fringe hangs across his dark eyes and makes his chin seem more pointed. He hasn’t shaved either, which is a sign of trouble—yet he’s not drunk or high.
“Why so serious, mate? I’m kidding. Well, half kidding. I did ask Shae to marry me.” I witness that bomb drop and his reaction is unusual—he straightens, bulges his cheeks, and scans the horizon.
He doesn’t look at me when he asks, “Shae’s forgiven you?”
Where’s the loud, love-the-spotlight Brett? Where’s his usual exuberance and playful manner? I’m thrown by his stern and sensible demeanor. I choose a new topic. “I hear you helped fix up Sassy and you’re off the booze. Shae says you’re planning to go to uni...” Given his mood, I’m not sure whether to go on because visiting a psychiatrist was always a prickly subject. “And you’re going to find some professional help.”
The whole time I’m talking he’s combing the beach, seeming as if he’s expecting someone to materialize. Unease prickles up my spine.
“When are you getting married?” His Adam’s apple bobs down then up.
“Not sure. Her reaction wasn’t what I expected.”
Brett fails to hide a glint of triumph. “She said no?” He sits down again, leaning toward me.
I shove my hand into my pocket but remember I stored the ring in a waterproof bag on Ariel. The apple is still there though. I take it out and place it on the bench seat. Studying Brett, I consider my next words carefully.
“She didn’t say yes or no.” I try to understand why that might be, but I don’t have any idea what’s going on in Shae’s head. “I thought she was waiting until we got ashore safely before giving me an answer, but she’s not said anything,” I tell Brett, hoping he has some insight. “She hasn’t even said anything about simply moving to Sydney. She knows I can’t move to the States with Vega Corp to run. I’m starting to suspect she’s not on the same page as me.”
A stab of something dark tightens my stomach.
Brett’s expression loosens but quickly steels up. “What did she say?” He rubs the thick stubble on his chin.
“A bunch of stuff about being too young, marriage not being for her, and wanting to be safe first.”
Brett abruptly stands and the boat rocks. He turns his back to me. I’d give anything to see his face. Something is off. Did Shae hide something from me? I remember how I had an instinct that she wasn’t telling me everything.
“What’s going on, Brett? Did she let on how she feels about me?”
When he swings around again, his lips are pursed. “She thought you two were over,” he says. My heart cringes. “We both did.”
I work to keep my expression blank, fighting the growing hollow inside me while I wait for his next words.
“I’m sorry, mate. I really am.”
My stomach recoils. I rush to my feet. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Look around you, mate. Shae and I have been living together in this sultry paradise for three weeks. We’ve got to know each other... intimately.” He raises those stupid arched eyebrows with a smirk on his face. I want to punch it off.
“Wh
at happened?” I demand.
“Jeez, Drew, you’re not one to kiss and tell. You can’t ask me—”
He stops when I thump the edge of the dodger. Pain shoots up my arm. I spin to him, my jaw set. My head is on fire.
His hands go up in surrender. “This isn’t easy to hear, mate. But you must understand, we both believed it was over between you. We didn’t think we were doing anything wrong. You were with Ava again and we were here, living side by side, helping each other. We needed each other. She was trying to get over you and I was drying out. We worked on Sassy, we spent days swimming and talking, nights cozied up in the cockpit… it just happened.”
Red-hot fury swims up from my feet through my belly and into my brain. “No way! I don’t believe you.” But I recall how Shae had raved over Brett’s change, and how she said he was helpful and fun to be with. How she was uncomfortable and cagey when I asked if he tried anything with her. She was definitely hiding something. “But you’re not her type.”
“Wasn’t her type. She changed me. I’m a different person—thanks to the love of a good woman. No more booze, no drugs or parties, no misdemeanors—smell my breath.” He leans in and blows air at me. “She fell for the new and improved Brett.”
“Jeez, Brett. Do you realize what you’re doing to me?”
“But I didn’t do anything wrong, mate. You two were done.”
“I can’t believe this—” The way Shae acted on the boat now makes more sense. I was confused and a little hurt with how she had avoided any intimacy, not even wanting to cuddle when we sat on Karma’s roof that first night. But would she really fall for Brett? “No! You always liked her—or wanted her because you knew I liked her. So, you stepped in the first chance you got. But she can’t be into you, she just can’t.”
He sits near the tiller to put some space between us. “Why’d she say no to marrying you?”
“She didn’t exactly say no.” But he has a point. She didn’t exactly seem excited by my proposal. Was she trying to hint at something? Had she been afraid to tell me about her and Brett?
