Pregnant by My Sister's Boyfriend

by Alice Carina

  "Do you live near here?" He asked and started walking slowly in the direction I'd leaned my body towards.

  "Yeah, just around the corner; I'd just started my run when you ruined it."

  "I didn't ruin anything," he snapped defensively, "you should pay more attention."

  "If this was due to a fault in my attention, I would've fallen several times before. This has never happened to me before, so it's your fault."

  "Well, I've been tying my shoes my entire life and nothing ever happened before, so this is your fault."

  "People probably avoided running into you your whole life, just like I did." I explained. "If anyone had run into you before, it would've been your fault, so this is your fault."

  "People look ahead when they run so that they don't run into other people." He explained. "You could've run into someone just standing there or someone else who was also running or walking without looking or some pet or a rock and it would've been your fault, so this is your fault."

  "No, it's not." I denied. "But either way, I'm taking tomorrow off because of you."

  "Tomorrow's the weekend; it's already off for everybody."

  "Oh," I remembered. "Well, then, I'm taking Monday off."

  "What do you need Monday off for? You just said you didn't think it was anything serious and just needed some rest."

  "Yeah, I need to rest it off a work day." I shrugged.

  "This doesn't make any sense."

  "Of course this doesn't make sense to you; you're not the one in pain."

  "Trust me; being around you is pain enough." He retorted.

  "Well, you don't have to be in pain much longer, this is my building."

  He helped me into the building then paused as he looked around.

  "Nope, no elevator," I informed him.

  He helped me up the first couple of steps, letting me lean my weight against him while I tried to hop up the stairs on one leg, but, when I told him that we had four floors to go, he quickly bent down and picked me up, trying to get rid of me as quickly as he could.

  He was gasping, he was sweating, his face was red and the veins in his neck were showing, but he refused to admit defeat and let me down, and I enjoyed his suffering too much to offer it.

  "She makes them carry her now," a neighbor mumbled as she walked by us down the stairs, but I didn't even blush at her reference to the many men I'd had at my place.

  "Do you want to come in to rest a bit? Maybe a glass of water?" I asked after I opened the door while he wheezed. He couldn't talk, but he nodded rapidly and I couldn't help laughing.

  I limbed inside and pointed towards the water bottles on the small counter that was the only thing separating the kitchen area from the living room. I found myself looking at the interlaced red circles on my calendar and I had the desire to run again, but I couldn't, so I opted for opening the door to the small balcony to let the outside air in.

  "Thank you," I heard him say behind me.

  "Huh?" I turned to him with confusion.

  "Thank you," he repeated.

  "What for?"

  "The water," he nodded behind him.

  "Uh.... Well, thank you for helping me get here, and carrying me up the stairs, and giving me Monday off."

  "I'm not giving you Monday off," he groaned.

  "What if I admit that this was my fault?"

  "How so?" He looked at me skeptically.

  "I think I wanted to sprain my ankle just to have an excuse not to go," I nodded at my calendar then took one step outside into the balcony because I felt like it was glaring at me.

  "Baby shower?" He squinted at the words. "Whose baby shower do you want to avoid?" He followed me onto the balcony and I dropped down on the small, red sofa I had there.

  "My sister's." I confessed.

  "You don't like your sister?" He asked as he looked around awkwardly but remained standing.

  "Katie?" I was surprised at his question. "I love Katie, everyone loves Katie."

  "But you don't love her baby?"

  "Of course I do! I love my ten-year-old niece and I'm sure that I'll love the new one too. I just... I wish she was my daughter rather than my niece, she could've been my daughter if it wasn't for my sister..."

  "Huh?"

  "Nothing," I quickly shook my head, suddenly realizing that I was complaining to my boss about my messed up family life. "It's a really long story."

  "Well, I think I need a really long time to heal from your stairs." He sat at the edge of the sofa. "If it's a good story, you can have Monday off." He smirked.

  "Are you sure you can do without me this Monday?"

  "Are you sure your story is good?"

  "Well, I'll just give you a brief summary and you'll decide for yourself."

  "You think your summary is worth a day off?"

  "Let's see," I smirked. "Back in high school, my twin sister slept with my boyfriend whom I was madly in love with and had a baby girl who looks like a mixture of her and him which is what I always imagined our daughter would look like, then, while pregnant, she fell in love with this really nice guy that she'd always had a crush on. Then, after I forgave her, she brought my ex back into our lives because he demanded his paternal rights. My sister got married to her really nice, loyal guy a few years ago and, now, after helping each other through their degrees, they're having twins, and my ex - whom at one point I believed I was going to marry and have my sister's baby with - is getting married in a month and here I am, no marriage, no nice, loyal guy, no Light."

  "Light?"

  "That's my niece's name."

  "Uh..." He trailed off awkwardly. "You can have Tuesday off too if you want." He hesitated and I burst into laughter. "How can you say you love your sister after everything she did to you?"

  "Oh, no, Katie's amazing." I tried to explain. "She's really nice and sweet and caring. You'd love her, I swear. Things were a bit more complicated than just that..."

  I didn't know why I even told him that. Dean just always seemed approachable; whether at that party where I knew nobody at all or at work where he never talked to me but someone had this vibe that I could talk to him if I wanted to.

  I was in pain from my ankle and I held him accountable for that, but I was also in pain on the inside and I needed somebody to acknowledge it, and no guy had maintained that long a conversation with me in years.

  "I think I should be thankful to her, in a way." I reflected. "Maybe if she hadn't gotten pregnant, I would have. And if you think I don't pay attention now, you should've seen me back then. I would've been a terrible mother and just ruined my entire life. But, no, my sister took care of her baby and finished her degree and... and everything. She deserves everything good-"

  "How can you say that about her?" He asked incredulously as he slid from the edge and sat beside me.

  "If I of all people can say that she's amazing and deserves good things, then, trust me, she truly does." I smiled at his confusion. "I just wish..."

  "You just wish you could have good things too. You don't envy her happiness; you just want to participate in it rather than just watch it from the sidelines."

  "Exactly," I blinked at his understanding and he just smiled sadly at me.

  "You have a nice view," I laughed at how quickly and drastically he was trying to change the subject.

  "You know, you can kiss me if you want,"

  "What?" He turned to me with wide eyes.

  "Oh, come on, I'm used to this," I rolled my eyes. "This is basically the only reason you men have conversations with women. All of us women know that, I'm just one of the realistic few not to fight against it, I'm okay with it."

  "You..." He blinked ta me disbelievingly. "You shouldn't be okay with someone expecting something from you just because he gave you the time for a conversation."

  "But they do expect either way, it's easier to be okay with it than have my own expectations that men are only okay with for a while until they move on to a another woman who is already okay with their e
xpectations."

  "Okay, I kinda get where you're coming from with your sister and the boy you loved and all, but that was years ago and he was just a boy, one boy, not all men are like that."

  "Are you saying you don't want to kiss me?"

  "No, I really don't," he assured me.

  "You don't find me attractive?" I challenged and tried not to wince as I remembered that my face was makeup-free and my hair had been pulled up in a messy bun when I went out for a run.

  "I think you already have enough men vouching for how attractive you are."

  "Then why don't you want to kiss me?"

  "Because I have my own expectations that you fall behind on," he shrugged.

  "I fall behind on a man's expectations?" I stared at him with wide eyes. "What exactly are your expectations?"

  "Uh... It's sort of a long story..." He tried to avoid the conversation.

  "Well, I think I need a long time to heal from the injury you caused," I lifted my ankle. "If it's a good story, I'll go to work on Monday." I offered and he laughed.

  "It's just..." He hesitated for a moment. "Do you remember the first time we met at my friend's party?"

  "Yeah..."

  "I wanted that," he looked away from me, "the pretty girl who showed up beside me with a gorgeous smile and told me that we were wearing the same colors even though I was wearing a blue shirt and she was only wearing blue earrings and insisted that it was destiny and kissed me like it really was, the girl who seemed excited about me and exciting for me, not the girl who got excited exciting everybody. I wanted someone to see me and really think of destiny and just go for it with me, not everybody else. I want to be special to someone and to have someone be special to me, not common and easy and exciting for everyone. Not that you're common and easy," he quickly stopped himself, "but-"

  "But I'm common and easy?" I smirked.

  "No, I really don't think you are," he denied. "Okay, maybe physically you are, but I don't think you on the inside are..."

  "This conversation's getting too awkward. Can you just admit that you find me attractive so we can move on?"

  "Why does it matter what I think?"

  "Because I think you're really attractive."

  "You do?" He blinked at me.

  "Of course," I rolled my eyes. "Why else would I have tried to find anything in common with you at a stranger's party and called you my destiny."

  "Well, I figured you were just trying to get a job," he shrugged.

  "I didn't even know who you were," I objected. "I just found you that attractive."

  "Fine," he rolled his eyes at me and his cheeks flushed. "You're very attractive."

  We spent the night just talking. I'd never talked for that long with anyone, let alone an attractive guy who found me attractive. It all felt so weird and out of the ordinary, like we were still strangely sitting in the middle of the sidewalk while everything else moved around us.

  The sun was beginning to rise when he decided to leave, refusing to just sleep next to me. I heard him close the door behind him while I slept on the small sofa on my balcony, too tired to move into my room.