The Devil Behind Us

by S. C. Wilson

  “While you get the ring, do you mind if I run to the bank?”

  “I’ll do ya one better. I’ll go with you, just in case you need my help.”

  “I’d appreciate that.”

  A slate gray sky met the pair as they rolled into town.

  “We got some time to kill before the stores open. How about getting something hot to eat?” Felix asked.

  “Sounds good,” Jesse said with a cold shiver.

  Over a hot plate of biscuits and gravy, Jesse asked what seemed to Felix a hundred questions about the wedding. Never having attended one before, she was curious about the upcoming ceremony. Felix explained it in detail.

  After their meal, they drank coffee and read. Felix skimmed over the newspaper, while Jesse leafed through a magazine someone had left behind on the table. The front cover captured her attention. Studying an image beneath the headline she read, Union Ships Destroy Confederate Fleet. The illustration, depicting the battle at Mobile Bay, fascinated her.

  She had never seen anything like those ships before. They were immense. In fact, she realized with a start, they were many times bigger than the building she sat in at that moment. Whole towns floated in the ocean, doing battle with giant guns. It was the stuff of fantasy.

  She finished reading the article and let her eyes drift to the small image of a locomotive on the next page. Again, it was astonishing and new to her. The article stated trains were said to be so much faster than horses, yet smooth in their movement. Even though they were known to be terrifyingly loud, the idea of riding on one piqued her curiosity.

  In that moment, it became clear how much she was missing out on, living atop the mountain. For the first time ever, she was having doubts about whether or not she wanted to continue the reclusive lifestyle.

  She turned the page and gasped as the image on paper came to life—soldiers, their dead bodies splayed across a field like they were sleeping. Abby had told her about the war. Hearing about it and actually seeing proof of it were different things entirely. Seeing the brutality with her own eyes made it more real. The death on the page made her think of her own family, of their lifeless bodies, of the horror men inflict upon each other. This world is going mad. Maybe it is best to stay on the mountain.

  Felix checked his pocket watch. “Stores are opening. We should get going,” he said, giving Jesse a thankful reprieve from her thoughts.

  As he steered the wagon toward the bank, he offered to make the transaction for her. Not knowing the first thing about cashing in gold, she happily agreed.

  Jesse stood and watched as the teller weighed out the nuggets, studying the entire process. The man counted out the cash and Felix rolled it up and placed it in his pocket. When they stepped outside, Felix pulled Jesse into the alley beside the bank. “Don’t let people see this,” he said, handing her the roll of bills. “Money can make people crazy. You hide it.”

  Jesse stuffed it in her pocket. “Thanks for doing that for me.”

  “Welcome. Now, let’s go get that ring.”

  More people and horses crowded the street as the town woke up. Unused to being around so many people, Jesse was somewhat disoriented. All the conversations around her, accents both unique and familiar, blended together into a wordless murmur. The sounds reminded her of the flowing water by the cabin.

  Distracted by the townspeople, Jesse didn’t notice their destination until she read the letters painted across the front window: Emporium. Beneath a red and white-striped awning in front of the store sat a long table, piled high with produce. She inhaled deeply. The fresh scents of ripened berries, peaches, and apples were so intoxicating she didn’t want to follow Felix into the store, but he wasn’t waiting around.

  She was overcome by the size of the place. It was bigger than anything she’d ever seen—like those ships, perhaps. Everything one could imagine, all housed in this one building. A myriad of jams, jellies, and jars of honey lined the shelves. Baskets were piled high with potatoes, cucumbers, carrots, and vegetables she didn’t recognize. Cured meats hung from the ceiling next to hanging scales.

  Jesse tried to take it all in as she trailed Felix, who made a beeline toward the counter. The long, glass case held beautiful jewelry of every kind: rings, pocket watches, broaches, and necklaces. She focused her attention on the rows of rings, each one a work of art. She was mesmerized by the light as it glittered over the facets.

  “Hey, Mr. Nicholas,” the man behind the counter said. “I’ve got your ring in the back.”

  “Can I see that?” Jesse asked, catching the clerk’s attention before he could walk away. She pointed to a cameo necklace.

  The clerk slid open the back panel and reached inside.

  Jesse held it in her hand. She liked the weight of it; it felt substantial, precious. “I’ll take it,” she said, handing it back to the salesman.

  “Sure thing. Will that be all?”

  “No. I have some other things I need,” Jesse said.

  “Is that for Abby?” Felix asked.

  “Yes. Her birthday is coming up soon.”

  “Well done!” he said, clapping her on the back. “Hey, why don’t you get what you need while I finish up here. We need to get back soon.”

  She walked the aisles, amazed by the variety and amount of merchandise. The first thing that caught her attention was an area containing tack. Her eyes were drawn to a leather pannier box set. They were like saddlebags but much larger, almost the size of crates.

  A salesman approached her. “Best there is.”

  “How do they work?”

  “No special ropes, or fancy knots needed. They buckle to the cinch. Keeps them in place. You can haul a lot of equipment in these.”

  She looked at the price tag. “I’ll take them.”

  “I’ll take ‘em up front for ya,” he said.

  Jesse continued to walk the store, selecting clothing for Toby and Abby—nothing fancy, just practical attire, along with thick, wool socks. She paused at numerous bins, which held every variety of seed possible. How wonderful it would be to have a garden. She picked up a scoop and filled small envelopes with an assortment of seeds. Her mouth watered at the phantom taste of what these little starts would become.

  Felix found her wandering among the wool blankets. “Look at this. Do you think she’ll like it?” he asked, opening the small velvet box. He pulled out the ring and handed it to her.

  “Look.” He pointed to the fine lettering along the inside of the gold band. My beloved, etched in a delicate script, stood out clearly.

  “Felix, she’ll love it.”

  “I hope so. You almost ready?”

  She nodded.

  Edith held a coat over her head, a shield against the persistent rain. She kept pace with the wagon as it rolled to a stop behind the trading post.

  “I need to speak with you,” she said, calling up to Jesse with concern written on her face. “It’s urgent.”

  “Is it Abby?” Jesse asked, jumping down quickly. “Is she all right?”

  “You just come inside with me.”

  A helplessness washed over Jesse as she followed on legs she could barely feel.

  Edith sat by the wooden barrel. “Have a seat. What I’m about to tell you…well, just have a seat,” she said.

  Jesse sat down. “What’s going on?”

  She took hold of Jesse’s hand and smiled. “Congratulations. You’re going to be a father.”

  “What are you talking about? I can’t be,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Oh, yes you can and you are. Abby told me.”

  “Told you what?” She leaned back and rubbed the scar on her forehead.

  “That she is carrying your child.”

  Jesse felt dizzy. The light took on a different quality and the room spun. What is going on?

  “Are you all right?”

  “No. Not really.” It was too much information to process. She put a hand to her brow, but the spinning continued.

  How? When? I
t didn’t seem possible. It wasn’t possible.

  When the thought came, it hit her with such force it nearly knocked her over.

  Sam!

  “She was going to get rid of it last night. She said you don’t want to have children with her.”

  Jesse stood up so quickly stars twirled in front of her eyes. “I need to talk to her.”

  Before she could walk away, Edith grabbed her by the arm. “She’s at my place. She spent the night in your room.”

  “Thanks for telling me.”

  “Just be gentle with her. She’s in a fragile state of mind.”

  “I will,” she said before hurrying out the door.

  Chapter Five

  Edith hung the feather duster on a peg in the back storeroom of the trading post. In between customers, she had swept the floors, dusted and straightened the many items along each row of shelving, and counted the money in the till several times. She refolded, arranged, and then rearranged the clothing.

  Tidiness was not her only goal. The effort also gave Jesse and Abby some privacy back at her place. How much time they needed, she couldn’t be sure. She simply continued working until she thought for sure she would go mad if she had to look at one more can or box.

  Surely, the young couple had had plenty of time to work things out, she thought. She went to the back of the post to the small living quarters she had once shared with Isaac. She had let Felix get some much-needed rest after he had been up the night before.

  She paused in the doorway, placing her hand on the memorable gouge in the frame’s wood. It carried her back to when she and Isaac had completed the living quarters.

  “There’s plenty of clearance,” she had said, peeking around the bureau she and Isaac were manhandling into the virgin structure.

  “Are you sure?” he’d asked.

  “Of course I’m sure. I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t. Just lift your end a little higher.”

  Unfortunately, she never had been accurate at judging distance. She had been horrified by the deep gash, but Isaac never said a word about it. He’d never been a man who showed his temper or raised his voice at her. Her greatest regret was never being able to give him a child. It seemed a lifetime ago and yet, oddly, it seemed as if it happened only yesterday. She felt old. Where had all the time gone?

  Oh, my word. I’m going to be forty-five when this child is born, she thought, placing a hand on the slight protrusion of her stomach, noticeable only to her. It felt surreal. She was overjoyed to be with child. Finally. After all these years. She shook off the musings and walked to the bed. “Felix. Wake up,” she said, shaking him by the shoulder.

  He rolled over and rubbed his eyes. “I’m up. I’m up.”

  “Don’t go back to sleep. I’m going home.”

  “All right,” he grumbled, tossing back the blanket.

  Edith trod lightly down the hall when she arrived back home. Not wanting to interrupt the young couple, she put an ear to Jesse’s door, hearing nothing but silence. Relieved they seemed to have worked things out, she tapped softly. “Hey,” she said, “would you two like something to eat?”

  The door flew open. “He’s not back yet,” Abby said. “Do you think they’re all right?”

  Edith stammered, searching for the words. “Uh…they…um, got back hours ago.”

  “They did?” Abby’s forehead wrinkled.

  “Yes. Jesse said he was coming here to talk to you.”

  Edith took Abby by the arm. I told him and he ran, she thought. What have I done? She led Abby to the bed, both to calm the panicking woman and to relieve her own roiling stomach. Neither one could handle much more agitation.

  “Abby, I think you better sit down. I think we both should,” Edith said, pulling Abby down beside her. “Please don’t hate me.” Edith took hold of her hand. “I had to tell him. I’m so sor—”

  Abby jerked her hand away as if it had been burned. She jumped up with a fire in her eyes Edith had never seen before. “You told him I was—”

  “Yes. I’m sorry,” Edith said, cutting her off. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I told you I didn’t want Jesse to know about this baby,” Abby said, walking to the door.

  “Where are you going?” Edith asked.

  “To see if Buck’s in the barn.”

  Abby’s shoulders sank when she saw the empty stall. “He’s gone.” Her body shook as she sobbed. She felt Edith place a consoling hand on her back. “You had no right to say anything,” she said, shrugging off her hand. “It wasn’t your place.”

  Edith wilted. “Please! Please forgive me. I thought he was different.”

  “Well, now you know,” Abby fired back. “I told you he didn’t want children.” She bent over, hands on her knees, trying to breathe through the quick and violent nausea.

  Edith warily put an arm around her. “Let’s get you back inside.”

  Abby allowed herself to be aided back to the bedroom. She wept as she took a seat on the edge of the bed, her palms no help in stanching the flow. It dawned on her she had no right to be upset with Edith. In all actuality, she had done her a favor. Now, she wouldn’t have to see the hurt she caused Jesse when she broke off their relationship. “I know I shouldn’t be mad at you,” she said in between sobs. “I did this to myself. I’m the one that ruined everything.”

  Edith rubbed her back. “Listen here. It takes two to make a baby. I can’t believe Jesse is acting this way.”

  Fearing unjust repercussions against Jesse, she said, “Please, don’t be upset with him—”

  Edith interrupted. “Don’t be upset with him,” she said, scoffing, her lips pressed into a thin line. “Let me say this. Any man who runs out on a woman after he got her in trouble is no man at all.” She could feel Abby’s body trembling beside her. In an effort to calm her, she shifted the conversation off of Jesse. Edith’s tone softened, “Look, I know this isn’t how you probably pictured things, but everything will be all right.”

  Abby’s chin quivered, her pain evident in the tears streaking her face. “No, it won’t,” she mumbled, her words choked almost incoherent by the sobs. “I’m going to have a baby and I don’t even have a job.”

  Edith’s body went still. “You don’t sing at The Foxtail anymore?”

  “No. Boone hired someone to replace me.”

  Edith moved closer and draped an arm around her. “I’d hire you to work for me, but I’m not going to rent rooms anymore.” It pained her to say it, but she and Felix had decided to turn the hotel back into a home. “Listen,” she said, “the Ely Grande Hotel will be opening soon. Maybe they will hire you to entertain the guests. If not, you could always see if they need a housekeeper. It would at least be a paying job.”

  “I don’t even have a place to stay.”

  “Nonsense. You can stay here with us until you get on your feet. Somehow, we’ll make this work. Why don’t you lie down and get some rest. All this stress isn’t good for you or your baby.”

  Abby curled into a ball and let Edith cover her with a blanket. “I’ll be back to check on you later,” she said, closing the door quietly behind her.

  The next few hours were a living hell for Abby. The idea of breaking it off with Jesse was one thing—it actually happening was another. The pain of losing her was already more that she could stand. It felt like her heart was literally breaking. On top of that, she knew the only way to fix the turmoil she had created between Edith and Jesse was to come clean and tell Edith the truth that Sam Bowman was the father of her child.

  At the other end of the house, Edith had resumed her pacing in the kitchen. Never had she felt so ashamed of herself. If only I had kept my big mouth shut. No matter how many times she repeated it, the fact remained she hadn’t and the results had been disastrous. Unable to stand the guilt any longer, she headed to the barn, hoping the job of mucking out the stalls would take her mind off of the mess she’d created. Perhaps the unpleasant task would serve as penance.

  The sound of an ap
proaching horse shook Edith from her thoughts. She turned, grateful to see Buck’s familiar muzzle coming around the side of the building. “Oh my heavens!” she said, dropping the pitchfork and running from the barn. “I’m so glad to see you! Where were you?”

  “I had something I had to do. Is Abby still inside?” Jesse asked.

  Edith reached up and placed a trembling hand on her leg. “Yes. So, you’re not going to abandon her?”

  “Abandon her?” Confusion painted her face. “What are you talking about?”

  “I thought you were coming to talk to her earlier. When we didn’t see Buck, we assumed you got cold feet and ran off.”

  Jesse slid to the ground and handed the reins over to Edith. “I rode him pretty hard. Will you tend to him so I can go talk to her?”

  “Yes, of course,” Edith said, waving her off.

  Jesse hurried inside with her saddlebag draped over one shoulder. “Abs, you awake?” she asked, inching open the bedroom door.

  Abby bolted upright. “Jes! You came back!”

  “Of course I did,” she said, pushing the door wide open. Once inside the room, she dropped her bag on the floor and slid the bolt lock in place. She put her hat on the post of the footboard and sat down beside her.

  Abby locked her arms around Jesse in an embrace so tight the tremble of her body shook Jesse’s.

  “Hey, hey, hey, ssshhh,” Jesse said. She pulled away, taking Abby’s face in her hands. “Everything is going to be all right.” She wiped away the tears with her thumbs. “I have just one question for you. Are you going to raise your child with Sam?”

  Abby sniffled. “No. I don’t want a life with him. I want one with you. But I’ve ruined everything. I’m so sorry.”

  “You didn’t ruin anything and I was hoping you would say that,” she said, a smile creeping across her face.

  “Jes, I didn’t know you were going to come back into my life. If I had known there was a chance for us, I never would have been with him. I was trying to get on with—”

  “Abs, you don’t owe me an explanation. It’s all right.”

  “But I’m going to have another man’s child. How’s that all right?”