by Brian Yorkey
Give up now
’Cause I’ve never been alone . . .
I could never be alone.
(Natalie enters.)
NATALIE: Dad. Why didn’t you take me with you?
(Music changes.)
DAN: We don’t see much of you these days. Is this Henry a good influence?
NATALIE: Like, compared to what?
DAN (Beat): Okay, that’s fair.
(Split scene:
Lights on Diana, in a bathrobe, with Doctor Madden at the hospital. Gabe looks on.)
DOCTOR MADDEN: The aftereffects are minimal. You’ll feel a bit like you have a hangover.
GABE: Mom, don’t let them do this. It causes brain damage.
DAN: Your mother’s in for a new treatment. ECT.
NATALIE: Okay—L-M-N-O-P—what is that? I don’t know.
DAN: Electroconvulsive therapy. Shock therapy.
DOCTOR MADDEN: A minority of patients report some memory loss, but it’s usually not much memory.
GABE: How do you know how much memory you’ve lost if you’ve lost it?
NATALIE: You’re kidding, right? Dad! That’s bullshit.
(Music changes.)
DAN: Language.
DOCTOR MADDEN: Patients have said it’s like becoming a new person.
NATALIE: It’s bullshit. She trusts you.
(Natalie turns and runs off, and Dan follows.)
DAN: Natalie!
didn’t i see this movie?
DIANA:Didn’t I see this movie,
With McMurphy and the nurse?
That hospital was heavy
But this cuckoo’s nest is worse.
And isn’t this the one where
In the end the good guys fry?
Didn’t I see this movie
And didn’t I cry?
Didn’t I cry?
DOCTOR MADDEN: The modern procedure’s clean and simple. Hundreds of thousands of patients receive it every year.
DIANA:What makes you think I’d lose my mind for you?
I’m no sociopath.
I’m no Sylvia Plath.
I ain’t no Frances Farmer kind of find for you . . .
So stay out of my brain—
I’m no princess of pain.
Didn’t I see this movie
Where the doctor looked like you?
Where the patient got impatient
And said, “Sorry, Doc, I’m through.
I know where this is going,
And I know what you’re about—
’Cause I have seen this movie
And I walked out.”
I walked out.
I’m walking—
(Dan enters. He nods to Doctor Madden, who goes.
Music changes.)
a light in the dark
DAN:One light shines in the drive—
One single sign that our house is alive.
Our house, our own—
So why do I live there alone?
Tell me why I wait through the night,
And why do I leave on the light?
You know. I know.
Our house was a home long ago.
Take this chance,
’Cause it may be our last
To be free,
To let go of the past,
And to try,
To be husband and wife
To let love never die—
Or to just live our life.
Take my hand,
And let me take your heart,
Keep it far
From what keeps us apart—
Let us start
With a light in the dark.
DAN:DIANA:
Night falls, I stare at the walls. I stare at these walls . . .
I wake and wander the halls. I get lost in these halls . . .
And I ache to the bone . . .
It’s like nothing I’ve known . . .
I can’t get through this alone. I can’t get through this alone.
DAN:Take this chance
And we’ll make a new start
Somewhere far
From what keeps us apart,
And I swear that somewhere in the night
There’s a light . . .
A light in the dark.
(Dan hands her the consent form and she signs it. Doctor Madden enters. So does Gabe.
Diana hands the clipboard back to Dan. Doctor Madden gestures to Diana, she stands, and follows him. Dan and Gabe watch.
Diana stops and turns for one last look at Dan.
Lights.)
act two
In black: music.
Natalie is with Henry outside a club.
NATALIE: Come ON. This is my favorite club. Let’s go in.
HENRY: Isn’t three clubs a little much for a Tuesday night? (Checks his cell) Wednesday morning?
NATALIE: Oh, come on. They’re playing my favorite song.
HENRY: They’re all your favorite song. What are you on?
NATALIE: Adderall. Xanax. And Valium. And Robitussin.
HENRY: When did you become a bad influence on me?
NATALIE: Hey, I am under stress. My mom is in a hospital being electrocuted.
(Natalie goes into the club. Henry follows.
Split scene:
At the hospital, the patient in headcap and gown is rolled in on a gurney. A Nurse and a Doctor [Dan and Gabe], in gowns and masks, assist Doctor Madden.)
DOCTOR MADDEN: Good morning, Diana. It’s good to see you.
NATALIE (Shouting over the music): Seriously—she gets it like every day for two weeks. I can’t even deal. I’d never let them fuck with my brain like that.
(She pops a pill and downs it with Red Bull.)
HENRY (Also shouting): No, you’re strictly a do-it-yourself-er.
(Doctor Madden leans in to the patient as the others prepare for the procedure.)
DOCTOR MADDEN: I see you’ve met our anesthesiologist. Now, just breathe normally. Relax. Count backward from one hundred, and before you reach one, you’ll be asleep. (His voice begins to distort) When you wake up, you may feel some muscle stiffness, disorientation—don’t worry. It’s completely normal. Diana? Diana? Good.
(He gently places the electrodes against her temples, and suddenly:
Music.
Lights change . . .)
wish i were here
(. . . and suddenly Diana appears, watching herself on the table.)
DIANA:In an instant, lightning flashes
And the burst might leave me blind—
When the bolt of lightning crashes
And it burns right through my mind.
It’s like someone drained my brain out,
Set my frozen mind to thaw.
Let the lethargy and pain out
While I stood and watched, in awe.
I am riding on the brightest buzz . . .
I am worlds away from who I was . . .
And they told me it would change me—
Though they don’t know how it does.
I have lived a life of clouds and gray,
But this is crystal clear . . .
Wish I were here.
I imagine it’s remarkable.
Exuberant. Austere.
Wish I were here.
Wish I were here.
NATALIE:It’s euphoria, it’s anger.
It’s the winter wind, it’s fire.
And it kills my deepest hunger
As it fills me with desire.
NATALIE WITH DIANA’S ECHO:I’m the light and heat of ev’ry sun . . .
I’m a bullet from a magic gun . . .
And I’m trying to enjoy it—
But I’m missing all the fun.
Am I feeling what I think I’m feeling?
The hope, the heat, the fear?
Wish I were here.
Is this someone else’s head trip?
Do I just disappear?
NATALIE AND DIANA:Wish I were here.
Wish
I were here.
(Diana joins Natalie, in the ether.)
DIANA: Sweetheart! What are you doing in my electricity?
NATALIE: It’s always about you, isn’t it? I’m Robotripping. I can’t feel my legs.
DIANA: I don’t want you doing drugs.
NATALIE: That’s persuasive, coming from the Pfizer Woman of the Year. You’re the one who’s hallucinating.
DIANA: It’s my treatment. It’s a miracle. Everything is different now.
NATALIE: I know what you mean.
NATALIE AND DIANA:Plug me in
And turn me on
And flip the switch—
I’m good as gone.
It slips my skin
And trips my brain—
I feel the burn
But I don’t feel the pain.
Is my brain reborn or is it wrecked?
In freedom or in fear?
Wish I were here.
Have I blown my mind forever?
Is cloudy my new clear?
Wish I were here.
Wish I were here.
Wish I were—
(In the hospital, the gurney and nurses go.
In the club, Natalie collapses.)
HENRY: Natalie! Natalie! Damn.
(He helps her stand and leave the club.)
This is like the fifth night in a row I’ve had to come find you at some random club.
(Dan enters the hospital room, where Diana waits, dressed to go home.)
DAN: Diana?
(She looks at him a moment, makes a great effort, then:)
DIANA: Dan.
DAN: Your two weeks are up—time to go home!
DIANA: Home? But—
(Music changes.)
DAN: Shh. Don’t talk. Relax.
(He puts a sweater around her shoulders and takes her bag. They go.
Lights change. Natalie and Henry, at home, her dress rumpled from the night.)
NATALIE: Okay. You can go. I’m, like, seventy percent less messed up now.
(He doesn’t go.)
Seriously, my dad’s gonna be home any minute. He’s bringing my mom from the hospital this morning, and you don’t want to be here.
HENRY: Will you call me?
NATALIE: Just go!
(Finally, he does.)
Can I hide my stupid hunger?
Fake some confidence and cheer?
Wish I were here.
Wish I were here.
(Dan leads Diana gently into the house. She stops and takes it all in.)
DAN: We’re here.
(Natalie hurriedly does her dress up and smoothes it, trying to look nice. She hurries to join them, stopping short at the sight of Diana.)
NATALIE: Hey. Wow. Uh. You look . . . great.
DIANA: Oh, well, thank you. And who are you?
NATALIE: Who am I?
DAN: Diana. This is Natalie.
NATALIE: Your daughter ?
DIANA: Oh. Of course. And this is our house?
DAN: Diana, don’t you . . .
(Music.)
. . . You don’t remember . . . any of this?
DIANA: I should, right?
song of forgetting
DAN:This house and all these rooms?
Last Christmas or last year?
Out back the dogwood blooms—
DIANA:Do I really live here?
DAN:The paint, the walls . . .
All this glass and wood . . .
You don’t recall?
DIANA:How I wish I could.
DAN:Our house on Walton Way—
The house with the red door?
Our trip to Saint-Tropez—
The whole week a downpour?
NATALIE:My first few steps . . .
And my first lost tooth . . .
What, nothing yet?
DIANA:To tell the truth . . .
NATALIE: Jesus.
DAN:Sing a song of forgetting . . .
A song of the way things were not.
Sing of what’s lost to you,
Of times that you never knew . . .
Sing of not remembering when,
Of mem’ries that go unremembered, and then
Sing a song of forgetting again.
That day our child was born—
Our baby girl’s first cry?
That gray and drizzly morn—
I’ve never felt so high.
DIANA:The day we met . . .
And we shared two beers . . .
DAN:Then?
DIANA:I forget.
DAN:But that’s nineteen years.
DIANA: That Doctor Mitchell said there might be some memory loss.
DAN: Doctor Madden.
DIANA: Well, see, there you go.
NATALIE:What a lovely cure . . .
It’s a medical miracle.
With a mind so pure
That she doesn’t know anything.
DAN:It’s there I’m sure—
’Cause memories don’t die.
NATALIE:Why?
DAN:They don’t die.
NATALIE:They die . . .
DIANA:I’ll try . . .
DIANA, NATALIE AND DAN:Sing a song of forgetting . . .
A song of the way things were not.
Sing of what’s lost to you,
Of times that you never knew.
Sing of not remembering when . . .
Of memories that go unremembered, and then
Sing a song of forgetting again.
(A school bell.
Lights.
Dan helps Diana off.
Music.
Natalie grabs her backpack and leaves the house. Henry meets her, also with backpack. They’re at school.)
hey #1
HENRY:Hey.
NATALIE:Hey.
HENRY:I’ve missed you these days.
I thought you might call—
It’s been weeks.
NATALIE:I’ve been crazed.
HENRY:Hey . . .
Hey . . .
Have you been on the scene?
’Cause you look like a mess.
NATALIE:Thanks, I guess.
HENRY:Are you clean?
NATALIE:HENRY:
Wow—coming from you—
I don’t do what you do.
Okay, how did it start?
But you took it too far.
Oh, I took it too far?
Hey—hey—
Henry don’t—
Are we over?
NATALIE:HENRY:
Don’t do this to me
Don’t say that we’re over . . .
Don’t you want us to be?
No—I want who I knew . . .
She’s somewhere in you.
(Natalie moves away from him. He follows.)
HENRY:Hey.
Say,
Will you come to this dance?
It’s some spring formal dance.
It’s March first.
And it’s cheese.
But it’s fun and it’s free—
(He holds up a pair of tickets.)
NATALIE:I don’t do dances.
HENRY:Do this dance, with me.
NATALIE:Good-bye, Henry.
(She goes.)
HENRY: Natalie. Natalie, wait up.
(He chases after her.
Lights.
Music changes.
Diana and Dan are with Doctor Madden in his office.)
DOCTOR MADDEN: This much loss is rare, but it has been reported. It may be partly psychogenic—at times like this the mind tends to repress troubling memories. But they’re still there, somewhere. They tend to return in fits and starts.
DAN: It’s been two weeks.
seconds and years
DOCTOR MADDEN:A little loss of memory is normal,
And helpful in forgetting all her fears.
DAN:I couldn’t give a flying fuck what’s normal—
We haven’t had a normal day in years.
DOCTOR MADDEN: Diana.Are things becoming clearer with the treatment?
