For Three Seconds (Forbidden Sports Romance)

by C. Lymari

  As I said, our nervous system has a memory. And as much as it remembers the pain, it also remembers the pleasure—and Scarlett Davis had been my ultimate pleasure.

  The days passed, and Scarlett stayed far away from me. In class, I would watch her, and she would never turn. She didn’t come to one party or speak to any of my friends. She was living her life, and I wondered why I couldn’t just live mine. My game had improved. There was a new aggression that wasn’t there before, and everyone loved it. Quincy was no longer giving me shit, but Ollie was.

  “Okay, boys, the first game of the season is in a few days. We’ve worked hard for this, so let’s not get cocky, and just let your hard work shine. For some of you, this is your last year here, so make the most of it.”

  Quincy gave me his fist so I could bump it. The nation was watching us. Hell, every major league in the game had eyes on us.

  Once practice was dismissed, I walked up to Nick, who was at the drink station.

  “Are you free Thursday?” I asked.

  “Oh, no. I promised Scar I would cook her food and watch a movie with her,” he said.

  “Oh,” I said. “Maybe next time. I wanted to watch the tapes with you to see if you had some pointers.”

  Nick scratched behind his head, then he gave me a look. “You’re cool with Scarlett, right?”

  “Yes.” The lie was instant.

  He seemed to lose some of the weight on his shoulders.

  “I know Gigi stopped talking to her, and with Mom and Dad gone, she took it pretty hard. She won’t say anything, but she hasn’t adjusted, and I was hoping you could be a friend to her. You know, how you were in high school.”

  “Does she still have her nightmares?” I asked, ignoring his question.

  The less I had to deal with anything Gigi-related the better. She was like an STD that wouldn’t go away.

  “No, those are gone,” he said.

  I let out a relieved breath.

  “I’ll see if I can stop by,” I told him and patted his back.

  I was making my way out of the stadium and into the locker rooms when a hand on my arm stopped me. I turned around to see Gigi.

  “What do you want?” I said through gritted teeth.

  If there was one person whom I hated most than anything in this world, it was my ex-girlfriend. She was a small little thing, with angelic features, soft hair, and flirty smiles, but she was a bitch. Most people thought Scarlett was the bitch out of the two, but that shows you that you should never make assumptions.

  “I heard a rumor,” she said, and my body went still.

  “Spit it out, Giuliana. I don’t have time for your shit.”

  She glared at me, and her nails pierced my skin. I didn’t give her a reaction not even when she spouted cruel shit to hurt me.

  “I know she’s back,” she spat, and my heart thumped loudly.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked in a bored tone.

  “Stay away from her,” she uttered not sure if she could believe me. “Or else I’ll tell her, and she will never forgive you.”

  I just wanted to be done with her bullshit.

  I removed my hand from the embrace and turned to face her. “Get this through your head. You. Are. Nothing. To. Me. You seem to think I care what you do or do not do. At one point, I did. I felt shit just like you did, but you made sure to turn it all into hate.”

  She took a step back and then turned to her friends and gave them a small smile. She still had it in her fucked-up head that we would be together.

  How could we ever be anything if I never felt anything for her other than blind lust?

  I was at a crossroads, and I knew it. It’s easy to feel like you’re moving forward until a piece from your past is blocking the path.

  Fourteen

  It was a rare night when all the girls were home. No practice today, because tomorrow was game day. That meant it was the first time I had to spend more than five minutes with Audrey.

  I hadn’t wanted to confront her about the party. It was something I’d actually brought up with my therapist. And when I mentioned Audrey and Gavin, I had to bring in Gigi. It was a can of worms she didn’t see coming. I thought it was just some petty high school stuff, but she said nothing was ever inconsequential. We were working our way through middle school in my friendship. One thing she did tell me was that I was scared of conflict; I ran the other way to avoid it. I could recognize she had a point.

  Delia opened the door and smiled at me. “Hey, we’re going to watch a movie. Join us.”

  “Um, okay,” I said.

  I felt like a stranger in this house. I tried to stay out of everyone’s way. Another thing I needed to work on was putting everyone’s feelings above my own. Timidly, I made my way out of the room. Kenia and Audrey were already sitting on the couch.

  “Hey.” Audrey smiled at me and patted the spot on the couch next to her.

  Feeling a warmth spread through me, I rushed to sit down.

  “How mad are you at me?” Audrey grimaced. “I swear I didn’t know he was going to be there. I asked around, and he wasn’t supposed to be back in town.”

  I felt such relief to know she hadn’t betrayed me. It was weird, but after my friendship with Gigi ended, I didn’t get close to any other girls. I guess I always expected them to backstab me sooner rather than later.

  “I was going to see him eventually.” I shrugged it off.

  “See who?” Kenia asked between bites of chips.

  “None of your business, Kenny,” Audrey said.

  Delia came in with a tub of ice cream. “What did I miss?”

  “Audrey did something to piss Scarlett off.”

  “Oh, does this have anything to do with Gavin?” Delia said as she sat down.

  My eyes went wide when all three of them looked at me.

  “He used to be my best friend’s boyfriend.”

  Kenny’s mind was working overtime, and then she turned to me.

  “Hold up, the last girl Gavin dated was in high school… Gigi was your bestie?” she said with a disgusted tone.

  Gavin hasn’t dated anyone since high school?

  I didn’t even let the thought entertain.

  “Since kindergarten,” I answered Kenny.

  “Fuck the ice cream; we need wine. We’ve got to toast that you got rid of that bitch,” Kenny said as she went to get a bottle of wine from the kitchen.

  Part of me was about to open my mouth to defend Gigi. She’d been my best friend for such a long time, and I’d failed her.

  “Don’t even think about it.” Auds pointed her finger at me. “She was a bitch. She has always been a bitch; you didn’t see it.”

  “Well, she must have had a magic pussy for Gavin to keep her around,” Delia mumbled, and my stomach dropped.

  Hearing about their first time was one of the worst days. It was then that I knew that Gavin meant so much more than I let on. I was grateful Gigi never mentioned their sex life again.

  “Now he’s a cold-hearted bastard, but he’s so hot,” Kenny said.

  “What do you mean?” I found myself asking.

  Kenny poured us wine. “He’s like a commitment-phobe. Nothing outside of sex. And he knows what he’s doing, but he’s never given a girl an inch. He’s a dick.”

  “He was sweet,” I mumbled mostly to myself as I put my wine aside.

  “Yeah, no, he’s an asshole,” Delia finished.

  “Maybe ‘cause I was Gigi’s best friend, but he was always sweet to me,” I said because the guy they described was not the one I remembered. Hell, the one who I kept running into was not him either.

  “He was not nice,” Audrey said in a loud snort. “He treated you like his little sister—sometimes better than he did Gigi.”

  I bit my lip to stop myself from gasping. Nick’s words came back to taunt me, and I couldn’t deal with it, yet I wanted to dive into this mess and find all the secrets.

  “Are you going to the party tomo
rrow?” Delia asked.

  I was about to say no because I didn’t want to, and I obviously wasn’t wanted there, but I couldn’t walk away.

  “Are you guys going?”

  Kenny smiled and nodded. “Victory party.”

  It looked like I had to find clothes for the party. Gavin didn’t want me there, and that made me want to be there. He didn’t get to take this experience away from me.

  “Fucking you? It wasn’t that special.”

  Nope, not special at all.

  So why was I avoiding him if I clearly was nothing to him?

  Once my last class ended on Friday, I felt an unease settle over me. It had nothing to do with all the homework I had, and everything to do with tonight’s party. Everyone was sporting school colors, the black and gold proudly displayed, and the students’ excitement for the first game buzzed through the air.

  “Hey, stranger.” Isaac caught up to me.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “You ready for the game?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I’m not going.”

  “But isn’t your brother one of the coaches?”

  I gave him a look, surprised that he would know that about me.

  Isaac blushed. “The guys talk.”

  “About me?”

  “Something like that,” he offered.

  I was trying to think what that meant when I bumped into someone.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you. Don’t you watch where you are going?” the whiney voice said, and I froze.

  It sounded familiar because it was a voice I’d grown up hearing. It was more familiar than my own.

  I froze.

  I stopped breathing.

  I hated myself a little at that moment.

  Gigi was there, and she still looked as delicate and graceful as ever. Her hair was a bit shorter, and the baby fat from her face was gone. She looked like a model, so put together, while I was a mess. Knowing she went to this school was one thing, but seeing her was another.

  Three years, and I thought I’d let time pass me by when, in reality, it was just waiting for me to catch up. Time was patient and elusive; we were mortal and fragile. You could evade your problems, but sooner or later, they would catch up to you, and when they did, they wouldn’t have mercy.

  She looked up, and her eyes collided with mine. Her eyes flashed with pain, and I knew I was the cause of it. It didn’t matter how Gigi had treated me—at the end, what I did was much worse.

  “Why did you have to come here?” she spat at me before she turned away and left.

  I was beginning to ask myself the same question. Out of all the places I could have gone, why did I agree with my brother? The truth was, I was too much of a coward to be alone, and I had hoped that after all these years, my sins could have been water under the bridge. Well, the bridge was at its limit and had started to overflow.

  “Well, guess you fit in as much as I do,” Isaac said.

  He had no idea. I didn’t answer; instead, I walked away.

  Holy crap.

  Fuck.

  I slept with Gavin.

  I couldn’t deal with the emotions that rushed over me this morning, and I had to get away. I was glad I’d insisted on driving. Ever since my parents died, I never wanted to be stranded at a party. I didn’t want anyone to die because of me. If an accident happened, it was better if I was alone.

  Walking through the back of the house, my dress under Gavin’s shirt made me feel cheap. I was lucky I didn’t run into anyone on the way to my house. Once I was in my driveway, I let out a relieved breath my brother wasn’t home. The first thing I did was take a hot shower as if that would wash away the hickeys on my skin and the markings on my body.

  As if that wasn’t enough, the soreness between my legs was a brutal reminder of who I had slept with. Even if Gigi didn’t matter to him, she mattered to me. A sick part of me laughed because last night, I hadn’t thought of her at all.

  That was the thing about lust; it was selfish. But love? Love was selfless. What Gavin and I had was lust that didn’t care who it hurt.

  The knock on my door startled me, and my heart thumped wildly, thinking it was Gavin coming to look for me. Those damn butterflies that only came to rise in his wake fluttered.

  I took a deep breath and opened the door only to be caught off guard at Gigi standing there still in yesterday’s clothes. Her mascara ran down her cheeks, and her eyes were swollen from crying.

  “You’re not going to invite me in?” She gave me a sad smile.

  I couldn’t remember when the last time she’d come over.

  “Yeah, sorry, wasn’t expecting you,” I told her.

  “I didn’t expect to end up here,” she added.

  My mouth was shut because I knew anything that came out of my mouth right now would be vile and wrong.

  “Remember how much I cried when my dad cheated on my mom?” she said, and my stomach dropped.

  I looked up and I could see it all over her face. She knew.

  “Out of all the guys in school, why did you have to have him?” She let out a sob.

  I started to cry. “I’m sorry.”

  There wasn’t anything I could say at this moment that would make it better.

  “We got into an argument yesterday, and you slept with him! You whore.”

  By the time I snapped out of it, I was at my place. I didn’t feel like going anywhere anymore. I wanted to stay home and wallow.

  Wallowing didn’t happen when you promised Delia you were going to do something. The girls got home to shower and change. When Delia found me in the room, still in my school clothes and looking at the ceiling, she made me get up. And by made, I mean she threw water at my face.

  Now here I was in a little black dress with my waves full volume and my eyeliner so sharp it could stab. As we parked across the street from Kappa Nu, my hands got clammy.

  Seeing Gavin gave me a thrill. Sure it was mixed with regret, fear, and pain, but it was more than I had felt in a while. It was somewhat addicting.

  We didn’t go through the front door like last time; instead, this time, I followed the girls through the dark path that led to the backyard. Music was thumping loudly. When Kenny opened the back door, the party was in full swing. Twinkling lights were all around the yard, creating a soothing ambiance: dark, yet light enough to see through. There was a pong table and kegs. My eyes scanned everywhere, and I realized I was looking for him.

  “The guys aren’t here yet,” Delia shouted.

  “You’re looking for Ollie?” Kenny hit her shoulder playfully.

  Delia blushed, which only intrigued me because they were so different from each other. That was the thing about attraction: it had no rules, no guidelines. It just led you. The girls went and got drinks before handing one to me.

  I wasn’t the same girl I was the night my parents died. I needed something stronger to get me through this encounter.

  Liquid courage. That was what alcohol provided, and the words had never rung truer. It allowed you to do what you always wanted and gave you a cheap excuse for blame.

  Cheers started to ring out amongst the partygoers, and I snapped my head up to see the guys walking in. My eyes ignored everyone who was there and locked on Gavin. He was the third to walk in, with a lazy swagger he had mastered in high school that only seemed to be more appealing with age. His hair seemed messy, his jaw was scruffy, and he looked content. Not bursting with happiness like his teammates—he just was.

  That feeling was one I was all too familiar with.

  I shouldn’t have come.

  When he walked inside the house, I let out a relieved breath while my shoulders slumped. Sometimes I began to think I was going insane. The party went on, and people kept going between the house and the backyard. Audrey stayed by my side, drinking and talking to me and whoever walked up to her.

  “Come on, let’s go in. The guys agreed to play a game!” Delia shouted.

  She led Audrey inside the h
ouse while Audrey held on to my hand so that I would follow. We went down to the basement, where it was a lot darker.

  “Don’t be a pussy, and spin,” I heard someone shout.

  When we got to the bottom, Audrey and Kenny stopped, and I went to stand beside them. Everyone erupted in catcalls. I looked to the front of the room to see what was so interesting when I noticed people were looking at me. My eyes found Gavin’s in a second, and he looked pissed.

  Fifteen

  “Spin again.” Gavin’s voice was harsh, causing me to break out in shivers.

  That’s when my eyes went to the table and noticed they were playing spin the bottle. The irony wasn’t lost on me. People looked between Gav and me, and that made me feel uncomfortable.

  “Fuck you, Gavin,” the guy whose bottle pointed at me said.

  He wasn’t ugly, but he wasn’t Gavin. His hair was dark and messy, and he had light blue eyes. When he caught me staring at him, he gave me a crooked smile and a wink.

  “We gonna do this or what, baby?” He gave me a flirty grin.

  “Drew,” Gavin hissed.

  That’s when Ollie started chanting, “Kiss, kiss, kiss.”

  Soon everyone followed. The look Gavin gave his friend could kill, but he only laughed.

  “I’ll be a gentleman and come to you, but, baby, I can’t promise I’ll be gentle,” Drew teased.

  I laughed it off with all intentions of backing out until I caught sight of Gavin. He was glaring at me. He sat on the couch, his legs and arms spread out like he didn’t have a care in the world. His eyes told a different story. He didn’t want me to do this, and that made me want to do it more. It made my stomach drop, and it gave me a sick high.

  “Ready?” Drew said, but I wasn’t looking at him.

  I could see it in his eyes: Gavin thought I was going to back out.

  “Do your worst,” I whispered.

  On the first second, his lips crashed against mine.

  On the second, I kissed him back.

  On the third second, I opened my eyes, and Gavin wasn’t sitting down anymore.

  Drew tried to coax my mouth into opening up for him, but I didn’t feel anything. There were no butterflies, no tremors, just a kiss devoid of emotions.