Fight for You: A Second Chance Romance (A Warrior for Her Book 1)

by Ayden K. Morgen

  The same symbol he had tattooed on him when we were younger, the Aquarius zodiac sign he got to represent me, now litters his skin in a dozen or more different places. Each symbol is blended into the most breathtaking artwork I've ever seen. My face stares back at me from his right pectoral, that symbol reflecting in my eyes. My hair falls around my face like waves. It's me, only I'm so much more beautiful on his skin than I am in my own. Somehow, I seem happy and sad at the same time. Whoever did the artwork had to be incredibly talented to capture so much emotion.

  I think all of those tattoos with the zodiac sign are also about me, but I don't understand what they mean. The powerful emotion whispering from each repetition takes my breath away. There's so much grief etched into his skin, so much unspoken pain, it tears at my heart, breaking it into little pieces for him.

  There's an angry red scar across his side, like someone took a knife and ripped him open from the bottom of his ribcage, down his abdomen to his hip. There's another jagged scar across the ridges of his abdomen. He's got two smaller scars that look like bullet wounds in his chest and another beneath his ribcage on the other side. There's another cut on his sternum, and two small teardrop-like scars over his collarbone.

  "Cade," I whisper, tears springing to my eyes as I try to process what he just revealed to me. My hand trembles as I reach up to trace the scar across his side and then my name.

  He freezes, his body going rigid above mine.

  I lift my gaze to his face to find his expression twisted into one of intense pain.

  "What happened to you?" I whisper, though I'm not sure if I'm talking about the scars, the tattoos, or both. It's obvious the last ten years have been full of suffering for him. I desperately want to understand why he tattooed reminders of that pain all over his body. Why did he tattoo me all over him?

  "Life happened," he says, his voice gruff and bitter. His lips twist, self-loathing sliding through his expression. "Nothing I didn't deserve."

  "Don't say that." I nudge him, trying to move him so I can sit up.

  Once he moves back, I slide up on the couch until we're sitting face to face.

  He wipes a tear off my cheek. "Don't cry for me, January. Believe me, I'm not worth the tears."

  "Don't say that either," I snap, pissed off that he's acting like this is nothing and hurting for him at the same time. Whatever he thinks he did that was so bad…he's been punishing himself for it for the last decade. The evidence of that truth is written all over him in scars and ink not even time will erase.

  "Will you tell me?" I ask, my gaze flickering over his tattoos. "Tell me what they mean."

  He shakes his head and swallows. "I'd rather not talk about it," he says, avoiding my gaze. "It's over and done with and doesn't matter now."

  "That's not true. Don't tell me they don't matter when I can see how bad they are, Cade."

  "I work with gangs, baby girl. You know better than anyone what they're capable of," he says, leaning forward and putting his elbows on his knees. He tips his head forward, pushing his fingers through his hair. "The scars are a hazard of the job."

  "I wasn't talking about the scars," I snap at him, annoyed he's pretending he didn't know what I was talking about. We both know he knew what I meant. The scars are self-explanatory. It's the tattoos currently wrecking me. "I'm talking about the tattoos. They're so sad. I want to know what they mean."

  "They mean…fuck, they mean I spent ten goddamn years without you, okay?" He pushes himself to his feet and paces in a restless circle. "I don't want to talk about them."

  "Fine, then let's talk about the scars," I say, grabbing my robe from the floor. Having this conversation naked with his come covering me is a little too much. I thrust my arms into the robe and then cinch it tight around my waist. "How'd you get the one on your side?"

  "Working," he mutters.

  "And the bullet wounds to your chest?"

  "Also working," he growls, reaching for his shirt before yanking it on over his head.

  "Why do you think I should hate you, Cade? What did you do back then that was so bad? Why do you blame yourself for what happened?"

  "Because it was my fucking fault!" he roars. "They're dead because of me!"

  I flinch backward, cowering into the side of the couch.

  "Fuck," he curses and then takes a step away from me, putting his forehead against the wall. He stands there like that for a long time, his defeated stance making my throat ache with emotion.

  "You want me, but you don't want to share your life or your pain with me," I whisper when I find my voice. Tears spill down my cheeks, but I don't brush them away. I let them fall. "You and Titan were always trying to protect me, but life doesn't work that way, Cade. I haven't needed you to protect me for years, and I don't want it now. If that's all you have for me, then you can keep it."

  "January–"

  "Why do you blame yourself for what happened? I deserve to know the truth."

  He stays silent, his head hanging low between his shoulders and his body tense. He doesn't try to tell me the truth. He doesn't try to say anything. He just stands there, not speaking. And that says all I need to know about where this thing between us is headed.

  Even now, he thinks he has to protect me. That I'm not strong enough to handle the truth. Maybe he's right. Maybe the truth will break me. But I'd rather be broken by his honesty than destroyed by his silence.

  I've had ten years of his silence. Ten years of wishing I'd been stronger or braver or anything that would have prevented us from losing everything. I don't think I can survive having him right here in front of me and still feel like I'm drowning under the weight of his silence and my own guilt. It was hard enough when he was in Washington. I can't do it while sharing a bed with him.

  "I can't do this with you," I whisper, wrapping my arms around myself so I don't fall apart. "I deserve the truth. If you can't give it to me, we can't do this. I won't fall in love with you just for you to break my heart all over again."

  "January, I…" He trails off and sighs.

  "Just go, Cade," I whisper, keeping my gaze locked on the floor so I don't have to see if this is hurting him. If it is, I don't want to know. And if it isn't, well, I don't want to know that either. All I know is that I never fell out of love with him to begin with and telling him to leave now hurts like hell. So does the fact that he'd rather leave again than talk to me.

  He moves around the room, gathering his stuff. When he's got his pants on and his boots on his feet, he stops in front of me and stands there for a long moment.

  Just when I think he's going to open up and tell me what he did that made him believe I should hate him, he sighs instead and crosses the room.

  "I'm sorry," he mumbles as the front door closes behind him.

  Chapter Twelve

  Michael

  Age Twenty

  "You open it!" January cries, thrusting the thick envelope out toward me. She clamps her hands over her eyes like she's afraid to look, but then she peeks out from between her fingers. Her face is a mixture of excitement and nerves. Her body practically vibrates where she's sitting on the edge of her bed in one of my hoodies and a pair of yoga pants. My hoodie swallows her small frame, making her appear younger than she is.

  "You gotta do it," I tell her before I pry her hands away from her face. She's terrified she didn't get into UCLA with me, but she's crazy. Of course they snatched her up as soon as they had a chance. She's too damn smart not to get in.

  "I'm nervous."

  I drop to my knees in front of her and cup her face. "I know you got in, sweetheart," I tell her, trying to calm her down a little. "You trust me?"

  She nods, her tongue swiping along her bottom lip as she stares down at me.

  "Then open the letter so I can kiss you."

  "Okay," she whispers.

  I grin at her and stand up, tugging gently on a piece of her hair.

  She takes the envelope from me with shaking hands. For a long minute, she just s
tares at it and then she peeks up at me once more. "Promise we'll make this work even if I didn't get in?"

  "Baby girl," I admonish, shaking my head. "I love you. Even if you didn't get in, I'd still follow you around like a lost puppy. You're never getting rid of me."

  "Okay. Just checking." She grins at me and then tears into the envelope.

  I take a step back to watch her, wanting to soak in this moment. Seeing her happy is incredible. She's so tiny…it's almost like her body can't hold all of her happiness so it leaks out into the air around her. Maybe that's ridiculous, but when she's happy, she fucking glows.

  She unfolds the letter and takes a deep breath before dropping her gaze to it. Her eyes track across the page, widening as she reads. A second later, she leaps from the bed with the biggest smile on her face.

  "I did it!" she screams and comes hurtling toward me.

  I catch her in my arms and swing her around, laughing as she kisses all over my face, chanting over and over that she did it. She wraps her legs around my waist and clings, laughing.

  God, she's beautiful when she's happy.

  I take her mouth in a deep kiss, unable to stop myself. Her tongue slides across the seam of my lips before touching mine. As soon as it does, my body lights up like someone sent a jolt of electricity firing through every synapse inside me. She tastes like sugar and the strawberry gloss on her lips. I lick all that shit off before sucking her bottom lip into my mouth.

  Once she's breathless and panting, I pull back to rest my forehead against hers. "Congratulations, baby girl," I whisper, loving the way her breath teases at my lips. "I'm so proud of you."

  Her smile is so big I know it has to hurt her cheeks. Her eyes shine with happiness and excitement. "We're gonna be together next year," she whispers.

  "Hell yeah, we are."

  I carry her out to the living room and sit down with her in my lap. If we stay in her bedroom, I won't be able to keep my hands off her. Titan will be home from work soon. I try to be respectful and keep my hands off his sister when he's around. Not that it seems to help much.

  He's as distant as ever. More even. I've been staying closer to home as much as possible, but he's rarely around. When he is, he makes some excuse for why he can't hang out with me and January. Most nights, he doesn't even come home. Mandy is still at school, so I don't know where he's at or what he's doing. It's worrisome.

  I hate that he's trying to cut himself out of our lives, but I'm not going to feel guilty for being proud of my girl. She deserves a quality education and UCLA is a great school.

  After all that shit went down with Tony, she struggled a lot. It took her a long time to feel safe again. She deserves to be somewhere she can learn and grow and be happy without constant reminders of all the crap she's gone through here. I want that for her.

  I guess Titan does too, but he's not getting rid of us completely.

  "I've been thinking," I say, running my hands from her waist up to her ribcage and then back down.

  She slides her hand through my hair, pushing it back from my forehead. Instantly, my muscles go lax, my entire body relaxing. Except my dick, which turns to steel in my pants. My eyes fall closed, a pleased rumble whispering from my lips. I love when she does that. It's sweet as hell and reminds me of when my mom and Ma Rose would do the same thing when I was a kid.

  "Thinking about what?" she asks, wiggling on my lap.

  I still her hips before she starts something we aren't going to be finishing right now. "Your scholarship will cover housing," I murmur, tipping my head back to rest it on the back of their worn sofa.

  "It will," she whispers, her eyes locked on mine.

  "But you won't need housing if you live with me."

  Her gaze flits back and forth across my face and then she pushes her hand through my hair once more. "You asking me to move in with you, Michael Ian Kincaid?" she asks, grinning at me.

  "Maybe. You'd be right next door to Titan and your mom. When I piss you off, you could always come stomping over here." Not that I'd let her stay for long. We don't fight often, but I always come looking for her when we do. I pick her little ass up and carry her off. And then I kiss the shit out of her until she forgets why we were fighting. Making up with her is the best part of arguing. She loves it as much as I do, but she'll never admit it.

  "Like you'd let that happen," she says with a laugh, rolling her eyes. "You never let me stay mad at you."

  "I'm fucking miserable when you're mad at me."

  "If you weren't so bossy, I wouldn't get mad at you."

  "If you weren't so stubborn, I wouldn't have to be bossy."

  She narrows her eyes at me and then growls, making me chuckle.

  "Seriously, baby girl. I love that you trust me to keep you safe, but I swear you don't listen just to piss me off sometimes. You shouldn't be trying to do so much on your own. That's what you have me for."

  She's always trying to do everything by herself. It's like, since Tony attacked her, she feels like she has to take the world on by herself to prove she can. But fuck that. She will never have to take the world on by herself because I'll be at her side to do it for her.

  "You're worried about Kaleo," she says, reading me as easily as ever.

  I shrug a shoulder, not answering. Truth is, yeah, I am worried about Kaleo. He's been on his best behavior since I kicked his ass. He hasn't even shown his face on this block in almost a year. That worries the hell out of me.

  When Kaleo gets quiet, it's because he's up to something. Just like he was last year when he sent Tony after January. Whatever he's plotting can't be good. I've asked Titan about it a few times, but he just shrugs me off and tells me that he's handling it. That worries me too.

  "I'm not afraid of Kaleo," January says, putting her palms on my face and forcing me to look at her. "He doesn't scare me. But we're not talking about him today. We're celebrating the fact that I get to stalk you around campus next year."

  "Stalk me, huh?"

  "Definitely," she whispers, licking her lips as she stares at mine. "I'm going to stalk the shit out of you, Michael Kincaid. You'll get so tired of me that you'll be thrilled when I stomp over here to ignore you."

  "Fuck," I curse and tug her forward to take her lips in a deep kiss. It's soft and sweet, not at all like I want to take her. But she's still so young and innocent. I want to keep her that way. She doesn't need to know that she makes me so hard I jerk off to the filthiest thoughts of her at night. She's not ready for the things I want to do to her. I try to take her soft and sweet like she deserves. "You moving in with me when you graduate, baby girl?"

  "Yes," she whispers against my lips.

  Her affirmation sends another bolt of desire through me. I kiss her again, unable to stop myself.

  "I'll never get tired of you," I tell her a few minutes later, breaking away from her lips. "But you won't have to stalk me. I'll be so busy following you around you'll never have to wonder what I'm doing."

  "I'm okay with that plan," she says with another happy smile reflecting in her eyes.

  I'm still staring at her with a goofy grin on my face when Titan opens the front door a few minutes later and stalks inside. He peeks over at us, grunts, and then shakes his head before slamming the door.

  January crawls off my lap and settles beside me.

  "Hey, stranger," she says to her brother. "Guess what?"

  "What?" he demands, not even looking at her.

  I grit my teeth when January visibly shrinks at his annoyed tone.

  "I got good news today," she says, trying to draw him into a conversation with her.

  "That's nice." He rips his shirt off over his head and tosses it toward the laundry room. He toes his boots off and leaves them in front of the door. "I gotta get a shower. I'm late."

  "I got into UCLA," January whispers. Her happy smile is long gone now, replaced by sadness.

  I wrap my arm around her, trying to offer her a little strength. What I really want to do is knock Titan to
the floor and kick his ass for upsetting her.

  He freezes halfway across the living room. He stands so still I'm not even sure he's breathing. A cloud passes through his expression before he blinks it away, slamming a disinterested mask into place. "Congrats, kid," he mumbles after a minute. "Glad you got what you wanted."

  January sighs sadly when he takes off toward his room. She ducks her head, hiding her face behind her hair. "I used to think I missed him when we were little and he was chasing after Mandy," she whispers, a sad tremor in her voice. "But now I wish we were back there. At least then he still talked to me, even if it was just to be mean to me. He barely speaks to me at all now. I hate it."

  "I'll talk to him," I promise, pissed that his attitude ruined something so big for her. She doesn't deserve that, especially not from him. He's been her hero since she was a baby. Maybe he's okay with breaking her heart because he thinks she's going to leave him behind, but I'm not. She deserves better from him.

  "It's okay," she lies, offering me a sad smile. "At least you're happy for me. I know my mom will be too."

  When Jana gets home an hour later, she's just as excited as January said she would be. The two of them disappear into the kitchen to cook January's favorite foods. Jana doesn't even ask if I'm staying. She already knows I'm not going to pass up her cooking. She's not home to do it much, but she is an incredible cook.

  "I'll be right back," I tell January, following her into the kitchen to kiss her on the cheek. "I've gotta run an errand."

  "You want me to come with you?"

  "No, baby girl. Stay and help your mom. I'll be back soon," I promise, brushing my lips across her forehead.

  "Okay." She smiles up at me.

  I tug on a strand of her hair, grin at Jana, and then head outside. Titan left fifteen minutes before Jana got home, but there aren't too many places he'd be going. He's a creature of habit, preferring to stick close to home, to places he knows and places that know him. In neighborhoods like ours, you learn pretty quickly that wandering too far has repercussions. Kaleo's gang isn't the only one in Compton. His is the closest to our block, but not the most dangerous by any means.