American Monsters

by Derek Landy

  Brewer smiled through her tears. “Thank you,” she said, but Amber didn’t know if it was she Brewer was thanking, or Kelly.

  Brewer’s eyes rolled back in her head and Amber caught her before she fell. Moving awkwardly, she lowered Kelly to a seated position.

  Someone came round the corner. Emmy-Lou Walters. Tempest herself. She saw Amber and Kelly and she frowned.

  “The heat,” Amber explained. “Too much for some people.”

  Emmy-Lou gave her a flash of that TV-star smile. “I guess it is,” she said, before walking into the ladies’ room.

  “Was that Tempest?” Kelly asked in a quiet voice.

  Amber hunkered down by her. “You okay? Kelly? Is it Kelly or is it Aaliyah?”

  “It’s me,” said Kelly, reaching out so that Amber could pull her up. “Aaliyah has left the building.”

  Amber grunted as she helped Kelly to her feet.

  “That was Emmy-Lou Walters, wasn’t it?” Kelly asked.

  “Yes.”

  “And she saw me all passed out and stuff?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Aw man. Did I have my mouth open?”

  “You did. You looked gormless.”

  “Ah Jesus.”

  “She’s really nice, though,” Amber said. “We chatted a little. You okay to walk?”

  “I’m fine,” said Kelly. “Maybe you could introduce us when she comes back?”

  “Actually, I think that’d be kinda creepy, don’t you? Hanging around the bathroom, I mean? I think it’s best if we just head back to the hall.”

  “I guess you’re right,” Kelly grumbled.

  AMBER AND KELLY TOOK one last look at all the celebrities, and then left the enclosure and fought their way through the crowds.

  “We make a good team,” Amber shouted to her over the noise.

  Kelly looked back, and nodded. “Pity you’re still the Devil’s lapdog,” she called.

  Amber bounced off a huge guy dressed as an angel, found herself pressed up against Kelly from behind. “Could there be anything else that you might call me?” she asked. “I don’t really like the whole lapdog thing.”

  Kelly turned to her, smiling. “You want something cooler?”

  “I really do.”

  Kelly’s smile dropped. “Devil’s lapdogs don’t get cooler, Amber. They get called names until they change their ways.”

  They broke through the crowd into the eating area.

  “But I’m still a good person,” Amber said.

  Kelly shook her head. “You can’t be a good person while doing an evil job. It’s not possible.”

  “I’m doing my best to get out of it,” said Amber. “You think I like this? I hate it. I hated having to agree to it in the first place.”

  “But you still agreed to it,” Kelly said, and went to turn away.

  Amber took hold of Kelly’s shoulders, kept her in place and looked her dead in the eye. “Okay, Kelly, I like you, I like you so much and I am thrilled beyond words that you like me, too, but for the last time – I had no frikkin’ choice. Astaroth was going to give Milo to Demoriel, and Demoriel would have killed him. Then Astaroth would have killed me. And our deaths would not have been painless, and they would not have been quick, and what happened to us afterwards would have gone on for the rest of eternity. I agreed to be Astaroth’s representative to save my friend, to save myself and to finally stop my parents. So tell me, tell me, what is so wrong with that?”

  Kelly looked at her, said nothing.

  “You think I’m working for the enemy,” Amber continued. “You think I’m working with the monsters we fight. Well, you’d have a point, if I were going to do that for the rest of my life. But I’m going to cheat the Shining Demon the first chance I get. I’m going to stab him in the back at the earliest goddamn opportunity. And you think I’m working with the killers? You think I’m working with people like Elias Mauk? I’m biding my time, Kelly. This was the only option open to me and I took it, and I’d do it again, and, if you can’t understand that from way up there on your high horse, then there’s obviously nothing I can say to change your mind.”

  Amber stopped talking. That had been a lot of words, and, now that she’d stopped, she was no longer sure any of them had made sense.

  But now, judging by the look on Kelly’s face, she suspected that some of what she’d said might have actually had an effect. She just couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad one.

  “I’m sorry,” said Kelly.

  Amber frowned. “What?”

  “I’d started to think that maybe, once everything in Desolation Hill was cleared up, maybe you’d tag along with us in the van,” Kelly said. “But then your parents got away and I realised you were going to be sticking with Milo and I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again, and then with what Astaroth made you agree to … I got scared, Amber. I’m sorry.”

  “You are?”

  “I wanted to call you. After I’d calmed down, I wanted to call. I should have.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “I should have. I was mad. I was stupid.”

  “Well … I mean, it wasn’t entirely your fault. Technically, I am the Devil’s lapdog.”

  “I’m sorry I called you that.”

  “You slapped me, too.”

  “I’m sorry I slapped you.”

  “I’ve had worse.”

  “Well, yeah, but it was still a rotten thing to do. I kinda panicked.”

  “You’re forgiven. Obviously.”

  “You need any help?” Kelly asked. “Getting your parents? Cheating the Shining Demon?”

  Amber smiled. “Sure. If you’re offering.”

  “I am. If it’s okay with you, I’ll get the others and we can sit down and come up with a plan.”

  “Plans are cool,” said Amber. Kelly smiled, hesitated, then turned and vanished into the crowd.

  Amber took a seat at an empty table, sighing now that the weight was taken off her feet, and watched the people go by. She wondered suddenly if she should hide her face. If Annalith Symmes had given a detailed description to the security guards, Amber might be in for some trouble. She lowered her head, taking the iPad out of her bag for something to read.

  She logged on to the forums.

  The Dark Princess said …

  Hey to all at the con, anyone around to meet up really quickly?? Looks like I’ll be leaving soon!

  Sith0Dude said …

  Wish I was there.

  The Dark Princess said …

  Maybe next time!

  Sith0Dude said …

  My parents would never allow me.

  How’d you get to go? Thought you weren’t gonna make it.

  The Dark Princess said …

  Last-minute change of plans. But now I’m about to leave and I haven’t met anyone off the boards!

  Sith0Dude said …

  Least you were allowed to go.

  Amber tapped her fingers for a few minutes, and nothing new was posted. She was about to log off when BAC logged in.

  The Dark Princess said …

  Hiya, BAC!

  Balthazar’s-Arm-Candy said …

  Hey, guys! Surprise! I’m in Montana!

  The Dark Princess said …

  Seriously??

  Sith0Dude said …

  Ur at the convention??

  Balthazar’s-Arm-Candy said …

  Family vay-cay to America! Woop! Where are all my lovely peeps at?

  Balthazar’s-Arm-Candy said …

  Princess! U here too? THIS ROCKS! Where are u? I’m lost! This place is way too big!

  Sith0Dude said …

  I wasn’t allowed to go.

  The Dark Princess said …

  I’m in the north hall. Where r u?

  Balthazar’s-Arm-Candy said …

  North hall also! But somewhere backstage!

  The Dark Princess said …

  U got lost backstage??

  Balthazar’s-Arm-
Candy said …

  I’m Australian! We do things backwards here! Can u come get me??

  Sith0Dude said …

  No one cares that I’m not there.

  The Dark Princess said …

  LOL sure. But I’m about to leave, so it’ll only be a quick hug! Any clues to where u might be?

  Balthazar’s-Arm-Candy said …

  Just passed a sign for Corridor 14B. That any help?

  The Dark Princess said …

  I can see a sign for Corridor 12A. Stay where u are and I’ll find u!

  Balthazar’s-Arm-Candy said …

  Yay! Can’t wait! I’m wearing a black top!

  The Dark Princess said …

  C u soon!

  Sith0Dude said …

  I hate this fandom.

  Amber put the iPad away, checked that Kelly and the others weren’t anywhere close, then followed the signs. She squeezed through the crowd and almost got stuck, before popping free like a champagne cork. She found the sign for 14B, got to a door and passed through into the empty corridor beyond. She walked quickly for the door ahead, pushing and finding it blocked. She pushed harder, putting her shoulder to it, and felt it give. She slipped through. It shut quickly, weighed down by the pile of bodies on the other side.

  For a moment, all Amber saw was the blood and the unnatural angles in which the bodies, three of them, were bent. Then the clothes registered with her, and her legs gave out and she collapsed, sliding down the wall, mouth open and eyes wide and staring at the bodies of Warrick and Linda and Ronnie, dumped on top of each other like discarded rag dolls.

  The door at the far end opened and Betty came through, holding Two in her arms with one red hand clamped over his muzzle. She was wearing a black top, just like Balthazar’s-Arm-Candy had said she would, and she smiled, broke the dog’s neck and tossed his body away.

  “Hello, my little Dark Princess,” she said.

  AMBER’S VOICE WAS HUSHED. “What have you done?”

  “You seem surprised,” said Betty, looking beautiful with her red skin and horns. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Do you know how hard I had to work at being Balthazar’s-Arm-Candy? I had to watch every episode of that damn show just so I could befriend you in the forums. It was exhausting, Amber. The show isn’t even that good. There, I’ve said it. Bombshell.”

  “You didn’t have to … you didn’t have to kill them …”

  “Of course we did,” her mother said. “Now you know the stakes. Now you know that we are quite serious, and that we will kill whoever we need to kill.”

  Amber stood, and shifted. “I’m going to tear you apart.”

  Betty smiled. “That’s the spirit. But I wouldn’t, if I were you.”

  Amber fought the urge to leap at her and rip her face off. “Where’s Kelly?”

  “You mean your little girlfriend?”

  Bill stepped out behind Betty, in full demon form. Kelly lay limp in his arms.

  Amber surged forward, screaming. “No!”

  But her mother held up a hand. “She’s alive,” she said. “For now.”

  Amber froze, her body trembling.

  “I have had conflicting feelings about being a father,” said Bill. “On the one hand, no boy was good enough for my daughter. On the other hand, I was planning to kill you and eat you so, really, what did it matter? But, when we realised you liked girls, I could suddenly breathe again.”

  Betty laughed. “Are you shocked that we knew?”

  “I’m shocked that you noticed,” Amber said.

  “Oh, we noticed, all right, and long before we were called in to that meeting with … what was your principal’s name? Crabbe?”

  “Cobb,” said Bill.

  “Cobb, that’s it,” Betty said. “Called in because you got into a fight with a friend you’d had a crush on since you were twelve years old. What happened? Did you tell her you loved her? Did she threaten to out you?”

  “I was never in,” said Amber. “Other gay kids are mostly worried about what their parents will think. But I grew up knowing you wouldn’t give a damn. Let Kelly go.”

  “Obviously, we’re not going to do that.”

  “What do you want?” Amber asked. “You want me to sneak you into Astaroth’s castle? Fine. Okay, I’ll do it. Let Kelly go and I’ll take you right now.”

  “Oh no, no,” said Betty. “It’s not quite so simple anymore. We’ve been thinking. We don’t want you to bring us to him. We want you to bring him to us.”

  “What? I can’t do that.”

  “Of course you can,” said Bill. “You’re his representative.”

  “Astaroth doesn’t leave his castle,” Amber said. “He did it in your day, yes, but not anymore.”

  Bill nodded. “We know. We don’t have all the information, obviously, but we suspect it’s something to do with the mayor in Desolation Hill. He summoned and trapped Naberius, after all. Astaroth isn’t going to risk that happening to him, so he’s making everyone else do the travelling.”

  “Smart,” said Betty.

  “It’s what I’d do,” said Bill.

  “So you understand,” Amber said. “I can’t get him to leave.”

  “You can’t trick him into leaving,” Betty corrected. “But you can still force him to.”

  Amber frowned. “I can’t force him to do anything.”

  “The mayor, whatever his name was, found a way to trap a Demon, didn’t he? That’s where you start. Find out how he did it, and find out how they kept Astaroth’s brother in that cell for a hundred years, and use this knowledge to bring Astaroth to us.”

  A wave of anger and desperation hit Amber and flooded her mind, but she struggled through it. To lose her temper now would be disastrous. “Jesus … why? I can sneak you into his castle easily. If you want to kill him, that’s the best way to go about it.”

  “But we don’t want to just kill him,” Bill told her. “For what we want to do, we need to be able to take our time. We can’t take our time on enemy ground. The Blood-dimmed King has eyes everywhere, we’ve heard.”

  “What are you talking about?” Amber asked. “If you’re not going to just kill him, then what are you going to do?”

  “We’re going to eat him,” said Betty, flashing a razor-sharp smile. “We’re going to eat him and absorb his power. Doesn’t that sound delicious? And it truly is the best possible resolution to all our current problems. With Astaroth gone, you’ll be released from your obligations as a representative and you can spend the rest of your life here on Earth with your tattooed girlfriend.”

  “I … I don’t know if I can do what you’re asking.”

  “Of course you can,” said Betty. “You’ve proven yourself to be quite resourceful when you need to be. We expect nothing less from you now.”

  “You have one week,” Bill said.

  Amber gaped. “I’ll need longer.”

  “Then you have six days.”

  “What?”

  “Every objection is a day less. Do you have any more objections?”

  Amber kept her mouth shut.

  “Good,” said Bill. “If you do not deliver Astaroth to us by midnight on Saturday, we’ll kill the redhead.”

  “Where?” Amber asked. “Where will you be?”

  “Where else would we be?” Betty asked. “We’ll be waiting for you in Orlando, sweetheart. We’ll be waiting for you at home.”

  AMBER SAT IN THE Charger with her head down, trying not to shake, trying not to puke. Trying not to cry. Police cars and ambulances screamed past. The convention centre was six miles behind them. She wondered if the paramedics had started loading the bodies on to the stretchers yet, or if the cops were insisting that everything remain untouched, like they did on TV.

  She wondered what effect this would have on In the Dark Places. Would its ratings suffer? Would it be cancelled? And what about Annalith Symmes herself – would she keep writing? Would she ever leave her house again?

  Amber wondered about all
of these things because that stopped her from wondering about Kelly.

  “They’ll hurt her,” she mumbled.

  Milo waited until all the cop cars had gone by, and then he pulled out on to the road again.

  “When Kelly wakes, she’ll try to escape,” Amber said. “And they’ll hurt her.”

  “Maybe,” said Milo.

  “I know they will.”

  “Maybe.”

  Amber wiped her eyes. “This is my fault. If she’d never met me, she’d be fine right now, and the others … They’d still be alive.”

  “Not your fault,” said Milo. “Your parents’ fault. Don’t make the mistake of forgetting that.”

  “We have six days to do something I don’t even know if it’s possible to do, Milo. When I don’t bring them Astaroth, they’re gonna kill Kelly in front of me and that will be my fault.”

  “So we’ll bring them Astaroth.”

  “It’s that easy, is it?”

  “No,” said Milo, “but it’s that simple. And let’s face it, we were planning to move against Astaroth eventually, right? Our timetable has just been moved up a little, that’s all. Whatever happens, I’m with you.”

  “You sure that’s a good idea?”

  He glanced at her. “What d’you mean?”

  “Glen was with me all the way, and now look at him. Look at Imelda. Look at Ronnie, and Linda, and Warrick … even the damn dog. I knew Clarissa for a few hours and now a lunatic trucker has her. The only person, apart from you, that I have even remotely in my corner is Kelly, and her life depends on whether I can jump through enough hoops. If I were you, I’d dump me by the side of this road and drive away as fast as you can.”

  “That would appear to be the smart move,” Milo said.

  “They’re going to kill you, Milo. Sooner or later, someone is going to kill you because you’re with me.”

  He grunted. “I’ve got Demoriel after me. My life doesn’t get any safer if I suddenly start to go it alone.” He took out his phone, handed it to her. “Give Buxton a call.”

  “You think he’d be able to help?”

  “I don’t know, but he’s the resident expert on this crap, so we may as well try.”