by Noelle Adams
Carter returned her smile. Both their expressions were forced. Then he turned to the other woman and said, “Thanks for helping out last night.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” The woman, whose name Ruth couldn’t remember, was obviously on her way out. She waved and continued to the door.
Ruth and Carter got in line to order their coffee drinks, and then they lucked out and got the love seat near the window.
She wasn’t in the mood for playing a part, but there were a lot of people there that afternoon, so she couldn’t act all prickly with Carter. She scooted close to him. He wrapped an arm around her.
“Is this all right?” he murmured into her ear. He was sitting really close.
She could smell the coffee on his breath. Feel the texture of his jeans against her thigh. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t know. You still seem mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you.”
“Well, annoyed then. I figured you didn’t want me all over you.”
“It’s fine. We need to act like we’re in love. We just got engaged last night.” She glanced down at the sparkling ring on her left hand. The sight of it there still surprised her.
She really needed a manicure.
“I know. But that doesn’t mean we have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not uncomfortable.”
“Okay.”
They both drank their coffee in silence for a minute or two. Ruth tried to act happy and relaxed, but she didn’t feel it.
“You still want to go through with this?” Carter asked eventually. He was still murmuring into her ear, and the feel of his breath on her earlobe made her want to shiver.
“Yes, I want to.” She turned her head to glare at him. “You think I’m going to back out on a commitment just because we got into a little squabble.”
“No. I mean, I know you wouldn’t back out on a commitment. But this isn’t a... real one. You can back out anytime. I would understand.”
“I’m not backing out. I’m fine. We don’t have to keep talking about it.”
“Okay.” He sounded tired. Resigned. “We’ll let it go. And I’ll try not to get all up into your business again.”
She recognized the words. Realized he was repeating the ones she’d said to him a few minutes ago. Guilt and self-consciousness sliced through her chest. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she said quickly. “I’m sorry if I sounded like I didn’t appreciate your concern. It’s just that I’m used to taking care of things myself. I always have.”
“I get it.”
She searched his face. He didn’t look hurt or angry. Just exhausted.
For some reason she felt exactly the same way. Like she didn’t have the energy to deal with another round of discussion. She leaned her head against his shoulder and softened her body. He adjusted his arm to get more comfortable. She occasionally lifted her head to sip her drink but otherwise stayed in position.
It felt nice. Warm. And safer than the conversation they’d just been having.
People occasionally came over to congratulate them and say hello, but no one lingered long. Ruth was hoping that they’d be able to get through this afternoon without any difficulties when Lincoln and Summer came in, holding hands and laughing about something.
They both waved at Carter and Ruth, looking surprised and pleased by their presence there. Then they got in line to put in their orders.
Carter shifted his body to face her. “Lincoln keeps looking over here,” he murmured. “He thinks something’s wrong.”
Ruth gave a quick look over and saw that Carter was right. Lincoln was trying to be discreet, but he kept shooting them searching looks. The vivid force of his personality was dampened slightly in a way Ruth couldn’t begin to describe. He was worried. “Shit, that man is way too sharp for his own good.”
“I know,” Carter said, low and urgent. “He’s always been that way. It’s very annoying. He can’t know that anything’s wrong here. He can’t.”
“Okay. What should we do?”
“Can I kiss you?” Carter’s eyes moved over her face like he was looking for an answer there.
Ruth nodded and gulped. “Yeah. That’s fine. Go ahead.”
Hesitating for only a few seconds, Carter took Ruth’s face in one hand and tilted it slightly before he leaned down into a kiss. Ruth wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting. Something skillful but artificial probably.
But the kiss didn’t feel artificial at all. Carter’s lips were hungry, and his grip was strong. Ruth’s body flooded with pleasure as she opened her mouth to his and pressed into him. It felt like she was melting, her body a hot pool of feeling that was spilling into him.
His other hand slid down to the small of her back, just where her skin was bared above the waistband of her leggings. He moved his hand from her face to slide it through her loose hair, eventually holding on to a handful of it.
Ruth made a silly sound as arousal began to pulse between her legs. She tried to breathe through her nose, but the sensations were overwhelming. She broke the kiss and gasped against Carter’s neck.
He adjusted immediately so that he was hugging her rather than kissing her. She was shaking now and had no idea why. His arms were strong and tight.
“You okay?” Carter asked against her ear.
“Yeah,” she lied. She pulled away and gave a breathy laugh she hoped was convincing. “Just forgotten what a good kisser you are.”
The tension in Carter’s body didn’t relax, and his eyes never stopped searching her face, like he was trying to read her mind. But the kiss must have relieved Lincoln’s concerns. He and Summer were both smiling as they came over to join them, and Lincoln didn’t look worried anymore.
RUTH DIDN’T HEAR FROM Carter for the next three days. Things felt off. Still tense. On Sunday, they’d decided that since Thanksgiving was Thursday and they both had a ton of work to do before then, they wouldn’t get together until the holiday, which they’d planned to spend together for appearances’ sake.
Usually that would have been fine. It wasn’t like they’d been getting together every single day. But Ruth normally heard something from Carter every day, if only just a few texts. And he didn’t contact her at all.
It was her fault. She knew it. He’d been trying to be nice and help with Kayla, and she’d pushed him away. Not because she didn’t appreciate help but because the whole situation felt messy and awkward and embarrassing.
There wasn’t anything else to do though. Carter was a good guy, but their closeness at this point was fake and temporary. If she depended on him too much, if she let him see too much of her, then she’d start to believe it was real. She would get needy. And there was no way she could do that to herself.
So she worked long hours on Monday and Tuesday, and she tried to believe it didn’t bother her that Carter hadn’t checked in at all.
On Wednesday evening at about seven, she was so tired and depressed she couldn’t work anymore. She thought about calling Carter. She had a reasonable excuse. She needed to know when she should come over the next day for Thanksgiving festivities at the Wilson house.
There would be nothing wrong with calling and asking him about it.
She didn’t though. Instead, restless and uncertain and oddly desperate, she ended up back at Milhouse.
Maybe Carter was hanging out there tonight. It would be easier to just run into him than make a call when she didn’t know if he wanted to hear from her.
The place was busier than she would have expected on a Wednesday night, but Carter wasn’t anywhere in sight. Lincoln was behind the bar, however. He smiled as she headed over.
Pouring her a glass of cabernet sauvignon without her needing to ask for it, Lincoln said, “Hey. Is Carter coming in? I thought he was still working.”
Clearly Lincoln knew more about Carter’s schedule than Ruth did. “He is. I’ve been working too. I just stopped in for a bre
ak.”
Lincoln’s mouth twisted. “Is everything all right with you two?”
“What? Of course. Why?”
“I don’t know. Just that Carter seemed... This week I thought he’d be... happier.”
Damn. This wouldn’t do at all. Lincoln was starting to worry again. Feel bad for Carter. Guilty about being happy when his brother wasn’t. And that was exactly what Carter was desperate to not have happen again.
“It’s not that,” Ruth said, thinking as quickly as she could. “We’re both just trying to get as much work done as we can before Thanksgiving so we can enjoy the holiday. That’s why we’ve been trying to stay away. We distract each other.”
Lincoln’s eyes softened. Glinted with amusement. “You distract each other, huh?”
“Yes.” Ruth felt her cheeks warming but figured that was natural. “Surely you can understand that.”
“Oh, I can definitely understand.” He twitched his eyebrows at her. “But seriously, maybe you can go see him tonight. He’s still in the office and he seems... I don’t think it’s good for him to go so long without seeing you.”
Ruth had no idea what to say to that, so she mumbled that she would. She finished her wine and took off, confused and concerned and trapped by indecision.
She picked up her phone five different times to call or text Carter. Then she finally gave up and drove out to the headquarters of Wilson Hotels, which was in a swanky office building midway between Charlotte and Green Valley.
She saw Carter’s expensive SUV in one of the executive parking spaces near the door. When she explained who she was, the security guard let her in with a friendly smile.
Carter’s office was on the top floor. The hallway lights were on, but most of the other offices were dark and empty. His door was only partway closed, so she pushed it open all the way.
There behind the desk was Carter. His eyes were focused on his computer screen. His shoulders were hunched like something heavy was weighing him down. He’d taken off his suit jacket and pulled loose his tie. The sleeves were pushed up, and the back of his shirt was wrinkled.
He looked just as tired as Ruth had felt all week.
“Hi,” she said rather stupidly.
He jumped and whirled around in his desk chair. “Ruth?” His eyes were wide as he stood up. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry to barge in like this. I was just...” She gave a silly giggle. “I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”
Carter walked over, pushing the office door closed and taking her hand to pull her over to the leather couch near the wall. It was a nicely furnished office and not remotely ostentatious, but it was clearly set up for practicality rather than aesthetics. “Is everything all right? Did you need me for anything?”
“I’m fine.” She had no idea how to explain her presence there other than the truth. “I just felt kind of blah. And weird about things. And Lincoln made it sound like you were...”
“Depressed? Pathetic? In need of an intervention? I can just imagine what he told you.” Carter sneered mildly, but he obviously wasn’t truly angry with his brother. “Damn Lincoln. He’s been bugging me all week. I thought we’d pulled it off Sunday, but he must have still sensed something was wrong.”
“Yeah. I think he did. I told him we were just taking time off to get work done because we distract each other.”
“That’s basically what I told him too.”
“He seemed to buy it. But I do feel kind of bad about things, so I wanted to... That’s why I came over.”
Carter leaned his head back against the couch and gave her a sweet little smile. “I’m glad you did. I’ve had a bad week.”
“Me too.”
“I am sorry if I was pushy or overbearing or whatever. I was trying to help, but I understand it’s not my place.”
“No, no. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just always prickly and defensive about things. I’m used to handling things on my own, so I guess I get kind of... kind of...”
“Kind of what?” he prompted softly, reaching over to tilt up her chin so she couldn’t hide her face behind her hair.
“Kind of embarrassed. When I feel vulnerable. Needy. I don’t like other people to see me that way. But that’s my problem. Not yours. You didn’t do anything wrong. And I’m sorry if I messed things up between us. I thought we were having a good time.”
“We were. I was anyway.” He was still smiling, and it was authentic and warm and soft. Like the real Carter. “I was afraid it was over.”
“It’s not. At least I don’t want it to be. I’ll do better. I’ll try not to be so prickly.” She looked around the office, noticing three empty coffee cups on the desk and the packaging from a take-out lunch place in the trash can. “When did you get into work this morning?”
Carter shrugged. “I don’t know. Five or so.”
“Carter! That’s crazy. It’s after eight now. You’ve been working here for that long? Have you taken any sort of break?”
“No. There’s always so much to do, and...” He gave another sheepish shrug. “There didn’t seem to be anything better to do since you were mad at me.”
“I wasn’t mad at you!” She was smiling now. She had no idea why, but she couldn’t seem to stop. “And that’s not an excuse for working yourself to exhaustion. No wonder Lincoln was worried. Is there anything else you really need to do before Thanksgiving tomorrow?”
He thought for a minute, his eyes focused on his computer. “Not really. Let me just finish this email, and then I’ll pack up to leave.”
“Good. I’m going to clean some of this up. No need to let all these used coffee cups sit around for days until someone comes in to clean.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Carter said as he went to sit back down at his computer.
Ruth ignored him. She picked up the coffee cups and a fork that had gotten pushed near the edge of the desk. Then she took the trash bag out into the larger waste can in the kitchenette for the office suite.
By the time she’d come back, Carter was finished with the email and was turning off his computer and packing his briefcase.
They made their way downstairs together, saying good night to the security guard as they left. After a brief discussion, Ruth followed Carter’s car back to the Wilson house. His mother was out with friends—at a meditation evening, Carter explained—so they warmed up some pasta and made garlic bread and ate their dinner on the sofa in front of the television.
They didn’t talk very much. Both of them were really tired. But it was nice just the same. Easy. Comforting. Carter went to find them some ice cream in the freezer for dessert, and Ruth really enjoyed it.
They watched a trendy sitcom on streaming, and Ruth giggled and snorted at the jokes. She ended up falling asleep and woke up an hour later with her head on Carter’s lap.
He didn’t appear to mind. He was slouching down on the couch, one hand softly stroking her hair.
She shouldn’t let him do that. It wasn’t really appropriate for their relationship. But she was too sleepy and it felt too good, so she closed her eyes and enjoyed it instead.
No one except her mother had ever done that for her before.
It felt like he was taking care of her, and she liked it so much. Needed it.
She must have drifted off again because it was really late when she woke up the next time. This time the show had stopped running because the app had popped up a screen asking quite impertinently if they were still watching. She was still sprawled out in his lap, but he wasn’t stroking her hair any longer. Ruth adjusted so she could look up at Carter, and she smiled at what she saw.
He was sound asleep too.
Five
THANKSGIVING AT THE Wilson house wasn’t like any Thanksgiving in Ruth’s experience.
For one thing, they had a staff that handled all the meal prep and serving, so the day wasn’t about cooking from the moment she woke up in the morning. For another, the television wasn’t
blasting constantly with the parade and endless football.
It was nice. Quiet. Lincoln and Summer were there, as was a gentleman Mrs. Wilson had been dating for a couple of months. Everyone was friendly and polite, and Lincoln kept them entertained with his banter and stories. The food was delicious, and there were three different kinds of desserts. It didn’t feel as intimate and domestic as holiday meals usually felt to her (she felt more like a guest than anything else), but it also had none of the hassle and conflict she was used to.
It was pleasant. Easy. Ruth had no complaints.
They ate at two in the afternoon, and by six Ruth was so full she couldn’t imagine eating anything else until tomorrow. But she’d promised Kayla she’d take her out in the evening for a couple of hours while Brent and the boys were enraptured by sports on TV.
At six thirty, Ruth began thanking Mrs. Wilson and saying her goodbyes.
“I’m sorry to leave so early,” she said as she stood up from a couch in the living room where everyone was hanging out. “But I promised my stepsister we’d have our own little Thanksgiving.”
“Of course you need to do that,” Mrs. Wilson said, getting up to give Ruth a kiss on the cheek. “But please come back afterward. You should stay the night. Lincoln and Summer are staying over until tomorrow, so you should too. It won’t feel like a real holiday if you leave so soon.”
Taken off guard, Ruth glanced over to Carter, who gave her a discreet nod. It made sense. If they were supposed to be engaged, then she should act like she was part of the family. “Okay. I will. Thanks so much. I’ll stop by my place and get what I need for tonight.” She smiled at Lincoln and Summer, who were lounging together in an oversized chair, looking very cozy and relaxed. “I’ll see y’all later then.”
Carter came with her as she left the room and stayed at her side as she exited the house and headed for her car. When she reached the driver’s side door, he said, “I hope it’s okay about spending the night. Mom will fix you up in your own room. It won’t be awkward or anything.”
