Anything You Can Do ...

by Randall Garrett

  _FIRST INTERLUDE_

  The big man with the tiny child on his shoulder pushed through the aircurtain that kept the warm humid air out of the shop.

  "There," he said to the little boy softly, turning his head to look upinto the round, chubby, smiling face. "There. Isn't that nicer, huh?Isn't that better than that hot old air outside?"

  "Gleefle-ah," said the child with a grin.

  "Oh, come on, boy. I've heard you manage bigger words than that. Or isit your brother?" He chuckled and headed toward the drug counter.

  "Hey, Jim!"

  The big man brought himself up short and turned--carefully, so as not tojiggle the baby on his shoulder. When he saw the shorter, thinner man,he grinned hugely. "Jinks! By God! Jinks! Watch it! Don't shake the handtoo hard or I'll drop this infant. God damn, man, I thought you were inSiberia!"

  "I was, Jim, but a man can't stay in Siberia forever. Is that minusculelump of humanity your own?"

  "Yup, yup. So I've been led to believe. Say hello to your Uncle Jinks,young 'un. C'mon, say hello."

  The child jammed the three fingers of his left hand into his mouth andrefused to say a word. His eyes widened with an unfathomablebaby-emotion.

  "Well, he's got your eyes," said the thinner man. "Fortunately, he'sgoing to look like his mother instead of being ugly. He _is_ a he, isn'the?"

  "That's right. Mother's looks, father's plumbing. I got another justlike him, but his mother's taking the other one to the doctor to get ridof the sniffles. Don't want this one to catch it."

  "Twins?"

  "Naw," said the big man sarcastically, "Octuplets. The Government tookseventy-five percent for taxes."

  "Ask a silly question, get a silly answer," the smaller man saidphilosophically.

  "Yup. So how's the Great Northern Wasteland, Jinks?"

  "Cold," said Jinks, "but it's not going to be a wasteland much longer,Jim. Those Martian trees are going to be a big business in fifteenyears. There'll be forests all over the tundra. They'll make a hell of afine income crop for those people. We've put in over five thousandsquare miles in seedlings during the past five years. The first oneswill be ready to harvest in ten years, and from then on, it will be asregular as clockwork."

  "That's great. Great. How long'll you be in town, Jinks?"

  "About a week. Then I've got to head back to Siberia."

  "Well, look, could you drop around some evening? We could kill off a fewbottles of beer after we eat one of Ellen's dinners. How about it?"

  "I'd love to. Sure Ellen won't mind?"

  "She'll be tickled pink to see you. How about Wednesday?"

  "Sure. I'm free Wednesday evening. But you ask Ellen first. I'll giveyou a call tomorrow evening to make sure I won't get a chair thrown atme when I come in the door."

  "Great! I'll let her do the inviting, then."

  "Look," Jinks said, "I've got half an hour or so right now. Let me buyyou a beer. Or don't you want to take the baby in?"

  "No, it's not that, but I've got to run. I just dropped in to get acouple of things, then I have to get on out to the plant. Some piddlinglittle thing came up, and they want to talk to me about it." He pattedthe baby's leg. "Nothing personal, pal," he said in a soft aside.

  "You taking the baby into an atomic synthesis plant?" Jinks asked.

  "Why not? It's safe as houses. You've still got the Holocaust Jitters,my friend. He'll be safer there than at home. Besides, I can't justleave him in a locker, can I?"

  "I guess not. Just don't let him get his genes irradiated," Jinks said,grinning. "So long. I'll call tomorrow at twenty hundred."

  "Fine. See you then. So long."

  The big man adjusted the load on his shoulder and went on toward thecounter.