Counting Down with You

by Tashie Bhuiyan

  WHY are you shirtless? is the only response I can manage.

  i was working out, Ace texts back.

  I sigh. Ace might be a delinquent who separates himself from the rest of the high school crowd, but he’s as clueless as any other teenage boy. I save his contact in my phone and say, pls don’t text me shirtless pics of yourself dude!!! it’s weird!!!

  Alistair Clyde:

  u asked who i was

  Me:

  and I regret it dearly

  Alistair Clyde:

  haha ur a comedian

  Alistair Clyde:

  anyway don’t be mad. i’ll explain everything tmrw morning ok?

  Me:

  you mean if I don’t kill you first

  Alistair Clyde:

  I look forward to u trying ;)

  I put down my phone and dig the heels of my palms into my eyes. My life is a mess.

  “Myra, come down for food!” Dadu calls. “Samir’s friends are gone!”

  “Coming!” I say and toss my phone aside in favor of a book. After breakfast, I always read to Dadu for a while. She says it helps improve her English, but I think she just likes hearing me read. Either way, I don’t mind—rather, I’m happy to do anything that puts her mind at momentary ease—but today, it has the extra benefit of giving me a chance to get out of my own head.

  It’s something I need desperately if Ace is determined to keep up this charade.

  18

  T-MINUS 20 DAYS

  For the first time in my life, I walk into school with my hood over my head, not wanting to attract the attention of my classmates. I don’t think anyone will stare if Ace isn’t by my side, but I don’t want to risk it. He still hasn’t changed his relationship status, and upward of a dozen strangers have requested to follow me on Instagram and friend me on Facebook this morning alone.

  “Good morning,” I say to my friends, finally pulling down my hood. As I predicted, no one casts me a second glance aside from Nandini and Cora, who stare at me like I found the cure to cancer. “How were your weekends?”

  “If you don’t explain what the hell is happening right now, I’m going to pour my orange juice down your shirt,” Cora threatens pleasantly. “I should not have to find out from Facebook that you got your first boyfriend.”

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” I say, exasperated. “He’s just being stubborn.”

  Nandini shakes her head. “I’m with Cora on this. What is going on, dude?”

  “I wish I could tell you, but I don’t even know myself.” I scratch the back of my head. “He didn’t tell me he was going to do that. I honestly don’t have a single clue what he’s up to.”

  As if I’ve summoned him, Ace suddenly appears behind Nandini. Never have I more fully believed in the phrase speak of the devil.

  “Morning,” Ace says, setting down a paper bag and coffee cup in front of me. “Have a good day, sweetie. I’ll see you later.”

  Then he kisses the top of my head, his lips warm against my hair, and casually walks away like I’m not having a heart attack.

  What. The. Hell.

  Nandini and Cora are staring at me with wide eyes, and I open my mouth, but I don’t know what to say.

  “I—” I shake my head, at a loss. My heart is beating too fast. “I’ll be back.”

  I grab the breakfast he got me and hurry after him, ignoring my friends’ loud protests and all the eyes burning holes into the back of my head. The head that Ace just kissed. What the hell.

  I don’t see him in the hallway, so I aim for the chemistry wing, hurrying up the steps. People are giving me odd looks, but I don’t care. What was Ace thinking? In what world is it normal to come up to your tutor and her friends, bring her breakfast, and then kiss her on the head before disappearing?

  I find him standing at his locker, sifting through his things. “What is wrong with you?”

  Ace looks at me, frowning. “Did I get your coffee order wrong?”

  I splutter. “My coffee order?”

  He grabs the drink from my hand and takes a sip. “Milk with three spoons of sugar, right?”

  “I mean. Yes. But no! Forget the coffee! What are you doing?” I try not to think about how Cora still gets my coffee wrong but Ace remembered after I told him my order once.

  Ace gives me a curious look. “Talking to you.”

  “Okay, smartass,” I say. “You owe me an explanation, remember?”

  A look of understanding settles over Ace’s expression. “Ah, that.”

  “Yes, that!” I move to close his locker but catch sight of a notebook still encased in plastic and fall short. “Did you buy a notebook?”

  “You said to,” Ace says and reaches behind his ear. I didn’t notice but there’s a pencil tucked there. “I even brought something to write with. Are you proud of me?”

  I stare at him blankly. I am, oddly, kind of proud of him, but I can’t make myself say that when I’m still righteously indignant.

  He smiles. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  When he grabs my hand, I don’t refuse and let him lead me to the stairway.

  As we’re walking, we run into Xander, and all three of us stop to look at each other. My skin starts itching nervously as Xander’s gaze drops to our hands, still interlocked.

  “Good morning, Karina,” Xander says, his gaze rising to meet mine. He’s calmer than he was Friday night.

  I offer him a small smile. It feels stretched too thin on my face. “Good morning, Xander.”

  “I see you’re still...dating my brother.”

  I laugh nervously and look at Ace, who looks completely tuned out. But his grip on my hand is tighter than ever, making it clear he’s not as relaxed as he looks. “It seems so.”

  Xander tilts his head. “Have you met our mom yet?”

  “Mom’s in Italy,” Ace says darkly, his first words to his brother. “How would Karina have met her?”

  Xander’s smile stretches wide. “Surely, you’ve introduced them through FaceTime or Skype. I can’t imagine Mom wouldn’t want to meet your first girlfriend.”

  Ace’s grip tightens on my hand. “Worry less about my relationship and more about yourself.”

  “I’m always going to worry about you, Alistair,” Xander says, reaching forward to pat Ace’s shoulder. “Isn’t that what big brothers do?”

  “And big sisters,” I add, pulling the attention away from Ace before the two of them can engage in an all-out brawl in the middle of the stairway. “Speaking of which, I actually need to find my little brother. You don’t mind, do you?”

  Xander considers me for a moment before he nods. “Of course. I was heading to class anyway. Unlike my brother, I prefer to arrive in a timely manner. I’ll see you around, Karina.” He inclines his head toward Ace. “Alistair.”

  He disappears through the door, and I can’t help but mutter, “I sincerely hope not.”

  Ace laughs under his breath, his grip loosening. “Come on.”

  We continue up and up the stairs until we reach a locked dead end. There are no other students here, giving us a semblance of privacy.

  “Before you kick me in the balls, I’d like to make a case for myself,” Ace says, sitting on one of the steps. “I swear I have a good explanation.”

  I sigh and sit next to him. “Let’s hear it.”

  Ace fiddles with the rings on his fingers, refusing to meet my gaze. It’s my first giveaway that this conversation is going to be more serious than I anticipated. “My family is...complicated. What you saw on Friday is only a small glimpse into what it’s like at our house. Do you want the SparkNotes version?”

  “Please don’t tell me you use SparkNotes,” I say, mostly because I don’t know how else to respond.

  Ace laughs lowly. “Of course that’s what you got out of that, Ahmed.”


  I elbow Ace. “Just tell me.”

  Ace still doesn’t look at me, but one of his cheeks dimples. “Yeah. Okay.” He exhales. “Basically, my dad only gives a shit about me when I’m getting into trouble. My brother’s kind of perfect, so I have to stand out in my own way. If my grades start slipping, he sits me down and lectures me. If I skip a piano lesson, he monitors my next one himself. I know how stupid this sounds, but it’s almost like he only cares about me when I’m letting him down.”

  I reach out toward Ace unthinkingly, placing my hand over his. “I’m sorry.” His words resonate in a painful way.

  “It’s not your fault,” Ace says, running his free hand through his hair, further messing up his dark waves. “My point is that if my dad knew I had a tutor...my grades would be one less thing for him to care about. I can’t let him find out.”

  Puzzle pieces slot together in my mind. “Is that why you didn’t want Xander to see us in the library?” I pause. “Wait, your solution was to tell your family we’re dating?”

  “It wasn’t the most well-thought-out plan.” Ace offers me a sheepish glance. “I would’ve left it alone after the dinner, but Xander goes to school with us and he watches me all the time. He loves any excuse to make me look bad in front of our dad.”

  My mouth falls open. If he’s implying what I think he’s implying, I’m going to stab him with his own pencil. “So we have to pretend to date so your brother doesn’t...what? Tattle on you? Is that what you’re telling me?”

  “Don’t look at me like that, Ahmed,” Ace says, his lips pursed in a pout. “It’s not like I’m doing it for fun.”

  I shake my head incredulously. “No, you’re doing it so your dad doesn’t find out you’re actually trying to get good grades. That’s ridiculous! You have to hear how that sounds. Why don’t you just tell your dad what’s going on?”

  Ace’s pout shifts into something more serious; a deeper frown that looks wrong on his face. “It’s not that simple.”

  “It sounds pretty simple to me. You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend to keep Xander from getting suspicious.” I feel like I’m losing brain cells. “Ace, you can’t be serious.”

  “It’ll only be for a couple months,” Ace says, his gaze dropping to the ground. “Or even just a few weeks. Enough time that it seems believable. We could fake our breakup at prom or something.”

  “I don’t even know what to say to you right now,” I say, throwing my hands up. “My parents would kill me if I ever dated anyone, even if it’s just pretend.”

  “What? Why?”

  Before I can answer, the bell rings, signaling the end of first period. I look around, flabbergasted at how quickly the time went, then turn back to Ace. “I don’t have the time to explain the intricacies of my family politics to you, but we’re not doing this.”

  I grab my stuff and hurry down the steps without waiting for Ace. I glance back only once to see him staring at me, a contemplative expression on his face.

  19

  T-MINUS 20 DAYS

  Later, I’m walking into AP Physics when a hand reaches out and pulls me away from the doorway. At this point, I’m not even surprised to see Ace standing there.

  “Don’t you have class?”

  He shrugs. “It’s gym. Not a big deal.”

  I roll my eyes. “Well, I definitely have class, so if you don’t mind moving?”

  “Just hear me out for two seconds, Ahmed,” Ace says, holding out his hands. His eyes are oddly serious. “I’ll do anything for you to agree.”

  I snort. “Okay. Buy me a dozen books a week.”

  “Okay.”

  I pause, giving him an incredulous look. “I was joking.”

  Ace’s expression doesn’t shift. “I wasn’t.”

  “Go to class,” I say, shoving his shoulder lightly.

  “Just—Karina, please,” Ace says, his tone so earnest that I hesitate. “I’m serious. I’ll do anything.”

  I stare at him hard, trying to discern how honest he’s being. I don’t know what to say, because I obviously can’t agree. My parents would have a conniption. I might have a conniption.

  But there’s something in his expression that’s making it increasingly difficult to say no.

  Strange feelings swim in my chest, pushing on my rib cage, tugging at my heartstrings. Maybe I have a weakness for beautiful boys with gentle hearts.

  Ya Allah. How did I get here?

  The bell rings and I sigh, pushing his shoulder again. “We’ll talk later.”

  All through class, I wonder why I’m stupid enough to even consider his request. Pretending to date Ace Clyde means a tsunami of problems I’m not equipped to deal with, the first of which means being stared at. Already, at least four of my classmates are shooting me disbelieving looks when they think I can’t see them.

  I take out a piece of paper and start writing, trying to put my thoughts onto the page as coherently as I can. Today’s my last day of trying this method.

  Ace isn’t popular. He might be infamous, but he’s not popular. My classmates might be looking at me now, but I doubt it’ll last longer than a week. I’m pretty sure he’s never dated anyone in this school, so he doesn’t have any exes out to make my life miserable. The only person who might cause issues is Xander, but what can Xander really do to *me*? He graduates within three months, and then I never have to see him again.

  Which means the real problem is my family. Samir’s head is stuck up his robotics club’s ass, so I doubt he’d even realize I’m “dating” Ace. Plus, he’s a freshman and I’m a junior...would this wave of gossip even reach him? Why would any of the freshman care who Ace Clyde dates? With 2,000 kids in our school, I think the freshmen have more to worry about than Ace’s dating life.

  But still, I should be careful and keep an eye out for Samir when I’m with Ace. Though, I *could* say I’m his tutor. I am his tutor. It’s not technically a lie.

  Maybe I should tell Samir right now...my brother’s a dumbass, but he’s not *evil*, and he wouldn’t rat me out on purpose.

  But accidents happen. If I bring this situation to Samir’s attention, is it more likely he’ll slip up and tell Ma and Baba without realizing? Is it better to leave him in the dark? We don’t talk about our social lives with each other, so bringing it up unnecessarily might raise a red flag...

  Maybe I should keep that disgusting can of worms closed. I’ll just briefly mention I’m tutoring Ace, so if he sees us around it’s not a big deal. If I keep my head down, I’m sure I can make this work somehow—

  It takes me a second to realize the direction of my thoughts and my pencil halts. I groan, dropping my head into my hands. I might as well have agreed already if I’m planning out contingencies.

  Writing out my thoughts didn’t help my anxiety either, so I guess it’s time to move on to the next technique on my list. Maybe I’m destined to ping-pong between coping methods until one lands.

  By the time I sit down in English class, I’ve resigned myself to helping Ace. At least until my parents come back. When he drops into the seat next to me, I’m contemplating whether I can submit myself as a Nobel Peace Prize applicant.

  Ace looks at me. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I—”

  “Yes.”

  His mouth snaps shut. “Really?”

  I sigh, avoiding his gaze. My heart is pounding unevenly with the knowledge of what this will bring. “Yes. But you only get three weeks. And I want my books. If you’re going to use me, I get to use you, too.”

  Ace slumps into his seat, his eyes fluttering shut. “Thank God.”

  “Don’t thank God, thank me,” I say, nudging him with my shoe. “And take notes.”

  He sits up straighter and grins at me, dimples as sweet as ever. Allah, why? “As you wish.”

  “Don’t quote The Princess Bride at me
,” I say under my breath.

  My friends are staring from a few desks away, and I give them a look, which I hope they understand as I’ll explain later. We’re not in the business of keeping secrets, and I sure as hell am not going to break that rule.

  “Is our entire relationship going to be you bossing me around?” Ace asks, reaching over to play with a strand of my hair.

  I bat his hand away, heat rushing into my cheeks. If he’s going to keep touching me, I’m going to spontaneously combust. “You signed up for this.”

  His expression is annoyingly smug when he says, “Yes, I did.”

  * * *

  “You’re pretending to date Ace Clyde?” Cora says in disbelief, her fork halfway to her mouth. “In exchange for books?”

  Nandini looks between us. “Is this all a dream? Maybe we’re in Inception?”

  “I can’t believe this is happening,” Cora says, shaking her head. “Who are you? Are you Karina’s wilder identical twin?”

  “Shut up,” I say, dropping my head to the table. Telling them about it is making this situation far too real. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. “I don’t know why I said yes. Why do I ever agree to anything?”

  “Because you’re too nice,” Nandini says, patting my cheek. “You should’ve just told him to go fuck himself. I don’t care if it means his dad knows he’s being tutored. Babe, you’re an anxious mess right now.”

  I don’t bother asking how she knows that. I keep bouncing my leg and biting my nails, which is as sure a sign as any that there’s an uncomfortable weight pressing against my lungs, making me want to roll over and die.

  “Don’t say that!” Cora says. “Ace is hot and he’s offering to buy her books. That’s like...perfect for Karina.”

  “Yeah, but in case you happened to forget, Karina’s parents are batshit,” Nandini says, “and if they find out about this, it doesn’t matter how hot Ace is, because they’re going to kill her.”

  “Kill me first,” I beg hopelessly. “At least it’ll be quick.”

  “See? This is why she should’ve told Ace to go fuck himself,” Nandini says, running a soothing hand down my back.