Counting Down with You

by Tashie Bhuiyan

  Maybe I can try telling them again. Maybe they won’t react badly this time.

  But then again, maybe they will.

  44

  T-MINUS 4 DAYS

  Ace and I are in line at Pietra’s Sweet Tooth when Pietra squints at us from behind the counter and says, “There’s something different about you two.”

  A flush starts to creep through my body. I didn’t realize Ace and I were so bad at fake dating that someone could tell the difference when we started really dating. “Maybe it’s Ace’s lack of jacket,” I say, gesturing to where it’s settled on my own shoulders.

  Now that I’ve started to associate the scent of cinnamon with relaxation, it’s almost calming to wear Ace’s jacket. I think he knows, which is why he lends it to me whenever I start looking even slightly anxious.

  Pietra tilts her head, looking between us. “That’s part of it, but there’s something else. I’ll figure it out eventually.”

  “Karina just likes me more than she did before.” Ace pointedly pulls a lock of my hair between his fingers. “Which I’m very happy about.”

  “You know what? That might actually be it,” Pietra says, tapping the side of her chin before beaming. “You two are so cute.”

  My cheeks burn. “Thank you.”

  “You’re making her blush,” Ace says, grinning at me. I swat his hand away when he tries to cup my cheeks.

  “So cute,” Pietra emphasizes. “What’ll it be?”

  “Cheesecake and coffee for me,” I say.

  “Milk with three spoons of sugar,” Ace adds offhandedly, his gaze on the desserts display. “Can I get a vanilla milkshake and a cup of cherries?”

  I try to contain my smile but it’s hard. I know how thoughtful Ace is, but experiencing it in the moment is different. It sets me on fire from the inside out to know he remembers the little things about me.

  We go to our usual table, and Ace gestures for me to sit next to him instead of across from him. “I want to show you a playlist,” he says, holding up his earphones.

  I shrug and sit by him, taking one of the earphones. “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz is playing and I shake my head at him fondly. “Wooed.”

  “That’s the goal,” Ace says, winking at me before offering me some of his milkshake. There are two straws, so I’m not surprised when he leans in the same moment that I do.

  I flick his nose, and he grins at me. “We’re supposed to be studying.”

  “Then let’s study,” he says. “I’m not the one holding us up.”

  I grumble but take out our notes. As I pull out a few discussion questions, Ace’s hand brushes against my wrist and I look up.

  “I wanted to talk to you about something.” He’s biting his bottom lip and he looks almost...nervous?

  “Okay,” I say, turning toward him fully. “What’s up?”

  “Remember how I said I was going to apply to NYU but if I didn’t get in, I’d pursue astronomy elsewhere?”

  “Yeah,” I say, my brows drawing together. “Did you change your plan?”

  “No.” He looses an uneven breath. “I’ve just been looking around a lot, and if I get a high enough score on my SAT, Columbia...”

  My eyes widen. I don’t know where he’s going with this, but my heart is already racing. “Columbia...?”

  He looks down. “Columbia has a really good astronomy program.”

  “And you’re thinking of...applying?”

  “Yeah.” His fingers tap against the table, the metal of his rings clinking and echoing through the shop. “If I get an A in all my classes this year, my GPA should be high enough, especially with my music extracurriculars. English is my weak point, but I think it’ll be okay.” He glances up briefly, offering me a mild smile, and my heart stutters. “It’s one option of many. NYU is still my top choice, but it’s only half an hour away from Columbia and...” He cuts himself off. “I don’t know.”

  I can hardly breathe. “Only half an hour?”

  He nods and finally meets my gaze. “Fifteen minutes if we meet in the middle. I know there’s no guarantee you’ll still want to be together by then. But I thought, maybe...yeah.”

  He’s thinking about our future together. He wants a future together, after all these studying sessions, after junior year, after prom, after college applications, and even after that.

  He wants this. He wants us.

  Something settles in my heart. If I do somehow miraculously win in the end, it won’t be alone. We’re partners in this.

  I peer through wet lashes to see Ace gazing at me hopefully. “What do you think?”

  “I think that’s wonderful,” I murmur. The smile spreading across my face is too wide but I’m helpless to stop it. “I think it’s really, really wonderful.”

  Ace’s responding smile is like gazing directly into the sun. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” I say, unable to contain a soft laugh. “You know, I was thinking of applying to NYU, too. Either way, fifteen minutes doesn’t seem like that bad of a trek.”

  “Not that bad at all.” Ace’s eyes are bright as he holds out a pinky. “Fifteen minutes in either direction?”

  “Fifteen minutes in either direction,” I promise, linking our pinkies together.

  Ace kisses my palm softly. “We have so much future in front of us.”

  “I know,” I say, squeezing his fingers. “It’s a little terrifying.”

  “It used to be,” he says, his lips skimming along the underside of my hand. “But it’s starting to look a lot brighter.”

  45

  T-MINUS 3 DAYS

  English class is different now. Fewer people stare at Ace and me, which is always a good thing. Even better is that Nandini and Cora sit in front of us and don’t gape or watch us discreetly from the corners of their eyes the entire time. Instead, everything is as ordinary as any other day, except for the fact that Ace is sitting next to me. We’re creating the new normal. I love it.

  Nandini gives Ace a dark look when she sees me nudge him to pay attention, but otherwise, everything is fine.

  “I like your friends,” Ace says in a whisper, lips brushing my hair. “They look out for you, even if that means glaring at me.”

  “Yeah,” I say, glancing at them. I don’t see much other than the back of their heads—Cora’s platinum blond hair is plaited into a french braid, and Nandini’s short black curls are held back with a speckled headband. “They do.”

  “Stop whispering,” Nandini hisses, startling us.

  “Or at least whisper louder,” Cora grumbles.

  “I take it back,” Ace says. “I don’t like them.”

  I snort and shove his shoulder halfheartedly. “Don’t start.”

  Class passes in a breeze, and Nandini and Cora leave for lunch first, but not without promising to save us seats. I’m still packing my stuff away when Miss Cannon approaches. “Karina, Alistair.”

  “Miss Cannon.” I wave with my free hand. “What’s up?”

  “I wanted to check in and see how the tutoring is going,” she says, sitting on the edge of a desk. “Good, I hope?”

  Ace offers me a mischievous grin. “You could say that.”

  “Shut up,” I say, swatting him. Honestly, he has no shame.

  Miss Cannon raises her eyebrows, looking between us. “I see you two have grown a lot closer. That explains all the whispering I hear back here.”

  My cheeks grow impossibly warm, anxiety rushing through me like a waterfall. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to disrespect—”

  “It’s because she’s explaining things to me that I don’t understand,” Ace cuts me off, resting his hand on top of mine. The motion is grounding. “It’s my fault.”

  Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. I take an uneven breath before nodding. “Yeah.”

 
Miss Cannon’s gaze drops to our hands. “I see... I’m glad to hear you’re learning a lot, Alistair.”

  “It’s all because of Karina,” he says. “She’s an amazing tutor. She’s so passionate about English that it’s hard not to care about it after listening to her.”

  “Ace.”

  “What? It’s the truth.” He shrugs, unbothered, but his hand squeezes mine. “Thank you, Miss Cannon. I’m sure I’ll pass the English Regents with flying colors.”

  Miss Cannon beams. “I’m happy to hear that. Have you guys started the poetry project yet?”

  “I thought I was excused,” I say, biting my bottom lip. Now that I know she’s not mad at me, the anxiety is easing. It helps to have Ace and the scent of cinnamon near.

  “You are,” she says. “I meant have you two started working on Alistair’s together?”

  “Oh. Yes,” I say, glancing at Ace. He hasn’t let me see any of his poems, but we’ve gone over the parameters several times. “He’s been doing really well.”

  “That’s lovely,” Miss Cannon says, clapping her hands. The sound batters around in my skull, echoing. “I was thinking you could present first, Alistair? For extra credit? It would help boost your grade. I think we can get you to an A by the end of the year.”

  “I guess I’ll really have to bring my A game then,” Ace says and nudges me. Slowly, I nudge back. “But it should be easy since my name is Ace.”

  “Shut up,” I say, a laugh slipping from my lips involuntarily. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “It’s not my fault you can’t appreciate the fact I’m a true comedian,” he says. “It was funny, wasn’t it, Miss Cannon?”

  Miss Cannon is looking between us, a look of understanding dawning on her face. I think her smile might even be wider than before. “Hilarious, Alistair.”

  Ace winks at me. “See?”

  “Yeah, I see,” I say, rolling my eyes.

  Before we leave, Miss Cannon rests a hand on my shoulder. “Could I speak to you briefly, Karina?”

  I nod, gesturing for Ace to go ahead. He lingers in the doorway for a moment but when I wave insistently, he disappears, the door closing behind him. “What’s up, Miss Cannon?”

  She presses her lips together, considering me. “I received an email from your parents over the break.”

  My heart plummets. “You did?” I say, voice shaky. “What did it say?”

  Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

  She leans against the whiteboard. “They said you wanted to stop tutoring Ace. Is that true?”

  “No,” I say immediately, my fingers clenching into fists. “No, it’s not. They’re just—it was a misunderstanding.”

  Miss Cannon looks me over in concern. “Are you sure? This is a safe place for you to speak your mind.”

  “I’m sure.” My nails dig into my palms almost painfully. “I want to tutor Ace. Really. Please disregard their email.”

  “That’s not what I was referring to,” Miss Cannon says quietly.

  I falter, unsure what to say. The same way Ace can’t save me from my parents, neither can Miss Cannon. She already does enough by providing me a safe haven at school.

  “I’m sure,” I say again, looking away from her earnest expression. “Thank you, Miss Cannon.”

  She sighs softly. “If you need anything, I’m here, Karina.”

  I nod and leave her classroom. Ace is waiting outside and at the sight of my expression, he silently offers me his jacket.

  I smile faintly as I accept it, but my mind is whirring. None of this is going to be easy. My parents are going against me at every step, knowingly or not.

  For as long as I live under their roof, this will be my life. Refusing to live by their rules is the start of a war I don’t know how to fight.

  you look at me across a bloody battlefield

  and I swing until my knuckles are bruised

  I will run until my lungs collapse

  for you

  I will kiss death and smile

  for you

  even in hades, I will fight

  for you

  46

  T-MINUS 2 DAYS

  Ace is trying to ruin my life.

  “I’m not dressed,” I say. “I can’t meet your dad in a hoodie.”

  “You’ve already met my dad,” Ace says, shaking his head at me. He looks amused, as if this is funny and he’s not trying to drag me to his house against my will.

  Drag might be an exaggeration, but still. He didn’t tell me where we were going until we arrived, and now it’s a match of wills.

  “Yeah, but I didn’t care then! Now we’re like...dating. And he’s your dad.”

  Ace huffs fondly. “Karina, my dad already likes you. I told him everything, and he thinks you’re a good influence. It’s just dinner.”

  “No offense, Ace, but that sounds really fake,” I say, planting my feet solidly on the ground and refusing to budge. “Your dad probably hates me. I lied to him the first time I met him. Ya Allah, he definitely hates me.”

  “He doesn’t hate you,” Ace says, squeezing my shoulders.

  “Ace, I look disgusting,” I say, crossing my arms. I falter for a moment but then push forward, because I need to assert my boundaries. “You should have told me we were going to do this. We’re supposed to be in this together. You can’t just make decisions for the both of us. It’s just—I’d appreciate if you told me next time.”

  Ace’s expression falls. “I just thought that—no, never mind. You’re right. I’m sorry. It was wrong. There’s no excuse, but I promise it won’t be a repeat occurrence. I’m still learning your lines, but one day I’ll know all of them and I’ll never cross them again.”

  I examine his expression, trying to see if he really understands. It’s more obvious in some moments than others that we come from two different worlds, and this is sadly one of them. But he looks genuinely contrite, so I nod. “Okay. Thank you.”

  He offers me another apologetic smile. “Always.”

  There’s a moment of silence Ace breaks by clearing his throat. Tension slips from both of us as we settle back into our usual routine. I’m glad I told him my feelings, though. That’s the only way this relationship is ever going to work. And I want this to work, despite the odds stacked against us.

  “If it helps, I think you look great,” Ace says, brushing a strand of hair from my eyes. He hesitates and reaches for my braid, untying it. He runs his fingers through the strands until they come loose. “There. I don’t know how anyone could look at you and not see the most beautiful person in the world.”

  Blood flows to my cheeks fast enough to give me a head rush. Or maybe that’s just Ace. “You need glasses.”

  He shakes his head, smiling. “I’ve got twenty-twenty.”

  “I doubt that,” I say but shake my hair out, arranging it around my face. My hair tie is missing, and I find it on his wrist. “Are you going to give that back?”

  “Nah,” he says, lacing our fingers and pulling me toward his house. “I’ll hold on to it for you.”

  * * *

  The whole family is at the table again, but this time I sit beside Ace. Still, I expect dinner to be awkward.

  It’s surprisingly not. The weird tension that was there last time seems to be mostly—if not completely—gone. I keep glancing between Xander and Ace, expecting a fight to break out, but neither of them seem inclined to pay attention to each other.

  “Ace tells me you’ve been tutoring him in English,” Albert Clyde says, gazing at me thoughtfully. Ace? I wonder. Not Alistair? “How’s he doing?”

  “He’s actually doing really great, Mr. Clyde. Today he corrected me about something. I’ve never been prouder.” I grin at Ace. “He’s improved so much already.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” A
lbert says. There’s a small smile on his lips, which is shocking. I was expecting change, but not this much. Ace looks similarly amazed by it. “So you two are really dating now?”

  I wince. “Yes. I’m sorry about lying to you before. I hope you don’t think less of me for it.”

  “I would never blame you for going along with my son’s...wild inclinations.” Albert looks almost fond as he stares at Ace. It’s surprising, but it makes my heart warm all the same. “He explained the situation to me. I understand you’re part of why he felt comfortable enough to talk to me in the first place.”

  “I didn’t do much,” I say, cheeks burning. “Your son is a lot braver than he gives himself credit for.”

  “Yes,” Albert says, eyes crinkling. “He is.”

  “Yuck,” Mia says jokingly, but she’s also smiling brightly. “Too many feelings.”

  “I agree,” Xander says.

  I turn to glare at him, but his expression is solemn—mildly curious, even—as he looks between his dad and brother.

  “You two get enough love,” his stepmother, Tina, says with a laugh. “Let Ace have his moment.”

  They’re trying. The realization hits me like a brick. Ace told them the truth, and they’re trying. Xander is keeping his comments to himself, and Albert is making the effort to reach out to his son.

  “To Ace,” I say, holding out my glass of water. He deserves a toast after all this.

  “You’re embarrassing me,” Ace says with a smirk, but holds up his glass.

  I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t look embarrassed.”

  “I’m not,” he admits. “Too happy for that.”

  We all clink our glasses, and continue eating. Halfway through our meal, something nudges my foot and I nearly jump out of my skin. I look down and see Spade pressed against the side of my leg.