by Leesa Bow
“Macy,” he says, sounding genuinely pleased to see me, which lifts my spirit. “Glad you could make the trip. Be ready to be charmed.”
“By charmed, he means by him and not by the town,” Kristen says as in warning.
“She’s taken,” Chance pipes up. “She’s seeing our boy, Reef.”
“I’m not seeing him,” I tell Chance.
He chuckles. “Call it what you want. Reef told me otherwise.”
His wink is exaggerated, and I groan at the corniness. Adele looks to Zane and then to me. “We have caught up a few times,” I say backtracking so as not to give the wrong impression to Adele. Zane is definitely not on my radar. I swipe my face with the onset of flies buzzing near my face.
“You’ll get used to them,” Kristen says, witnessing my attempt at deterring the flies from landing on me.
“Why me? They’re not interested in you.” I continue to wave my hand about.
“Maybe they can smell fresh meat.” She laughs. “Come inside. The cooler is on, and we’ll show you to your rooms before we head out to the touristy spots.”
We arrive back at Zane’s late afternoon for a quick shower before heading into town. After trekking through hills to witness unique sculptures in the outback, I understand the need to wash the red dirt from my feet.
This morning before leaving, my screen had lit up like a Christmas tree with messages from Reef. Still not ready to speak to him, I left my phone at Zane’s with Adele promising to airdrop photographs to me once we were back within Wi-Fi distance.
While Adele is in the shower, I pull out my phone and read the first message from last night when I rushed from his penthouse.
Were you just here?
Hunter described someone looking for me, and it sounded a lot like you.
I shake my head and keep reading his messages.
I’m guessing the radio silence is because you think you saw something.
I haven’t done anything wrong.
So please don’t assume anything.
I did see something, douchebag.
Macy, what’s going on?
I woke up hoping you’d message me back.
Call me.
Nothing happened last night.
Why did you come back to the apartment?
I hoped we could spend tonight together.
I’m sure he’ll find someone else. His teammates will probably have another party.
So, you can go away for a weekend with Chance and hang out with his friends and yet you can’t stay one night with me.
Nice work.
Well played.
My breath catches. I open up Instagram and scroll through the feed and see the pictures Adele has posted. I wasn’t sure whether Chance mentioned it to him since they’re friends. Regardless, he needs to know I didn’t play him, but I can’t force myself to make the call today. I reach into my bag and pull out the poem he wrote for me. Before I open it, Chance knocks on the door.
“I have Reef on the phone. He wants to talk to you.”
Adele pushes past Chance and makes a disgruntled noise. “Out. I want to dress. Shower is free, Macy.”
I refold the note and stand to head to the shower. “I’ll call him later. Zane has us on a schedule.” I walk past Chance and hear the last of the conversation.
“Mate, she said she’ll call later…
“I don’t know…
“She never said anything…
“She messaged me saying she wanted to come for the trip. I did put it out to you to come as well—
“It’s not my fault. Talk with her later.”
Before closing the door, his phone buzzes again, and I hope it’s not Reef.
“Mum,” he says. “What’s up?”
I click the lock to the bathroom door. Under the shower, I think about last night. Reef’s free to hook-up with whoever he pleases because we’re not a couple. Still, my gut hurts every time I think about him, and it’s warning enough what we have going on has gone too far. Maybe we need to end it.
I turn on the shower and promise myself not to think about Reef until the road trip is over. At least not every minute of the day.
Sunday morning Zane and Kristen drive us to Silverton, a tiny town not far out of Broken Hill. An opportunity for Chance to visit his favourite artist before we hit the road to Adelaide—a six-hour trip if you count restroom stops.
The artist paints emus with big round eyes and creates sculptures. I buy a small one thinking of Reef. I don’t want to admit it’s for him because I’m still so mad at him. But after last night, I think we need to talk when I get home. And if I’m being honest, I don’t want to stop seeing him. God, I’m conflicted. Seriously, who in their right mind would want to be with me?
I make my way outside to find Chance among more paintings and, well, there’s no other way to describe it other than a wall of junk—arty junk assembled in a way to look creative and tell a story. Chance slowly pads the length of the wall taking in every detail, mesmerised by it all.
“It’s cool.” I smile at him and wave at my face because the flies are worse out here than in the town centre.
He nods at me and offers a half-smile, minus the dimples.
“Are you okay?”
He nods and slaps at the air. “Love this stuff. Making art out of junk. It challenges you to find purpose with bits people discard and think useless. One person’s junk is another one’s treasure.” He keeps walking the wall. “John said I can take some remnants back with me. I love what he’s done here.”
“Yet, you’re not really smiling.”
He glances at me, rubs the back of his neck, and looks over to his sister giggling with Zane. “Dad is being admitted to the hospital next week. He’s jaundiced and not sure why. Needs more tests on his liver.”
“I hope everything is okay.”
“Mum says he’ll be fine, but I’m not saying anything to Adele until we’re on the plane.”
I nod. “I’m sure your mother is right. But I understand your concern until you get the results.”
“You done yet?” Zane calls out to Chance.
Chance and I head out to the side, and I pick up large rusted bolts and screws while he carries a clump of iron and something else I have no idea what. We throw it in the back of Zane’s car and head back into town.
After loading our bags in the rental car, I thank Zane and climb into the back seat. Chance and Adele take a moment longer to say goodbye, and then Adele kisses Zane, wrapping her arms around his neck and deepening the kiss.
Shit.
I can’t see Chance’s expression, but I can’t imagine he’s pleased, and expect him to say something to Adele when in the car.
“I’ll miss you,” Adele tells Zane before she shuts the door.
“Get me tickets to a game,” Zane yells out to Chance. “I’ll be there after Christmas.”
“Send me dates. I’ll see what I can do.”
The first five minutes of the trip are in silence. When we reach the hills and spy the goats, I finally see Chance smile.
Settling into the back seat, I open my phone.
SOS only.
I have plenty of time to think about what to text Reef.
We hit level ground, and I settle into the cushioned seat. The long, straight road hazes over in the distance tricking the eye to thinking it’s a never-ending journey. Looking out to the open road, I realise my life without a relationship is like this—safe and in one direction—a journey without curves lacking surprise or excitement for what’s around the bend.
Facing life with family you love where we support each other offers security to get me through tough times. I can’t rely on pure love and the safety net of caring for my father because even he is showing me what I feared to embrace. Dad has always jumped in the deep end. From accounts of his time with Mum, it’s what attracted her to him. Dad is fearless. He gave me no warning about Bernadette. It rocked me, and on top of what went down with Reef, it gave me the
motivation to take this road trip. And I found adventure with people I barely know.
I have to believe in myself. Take a risk. Search outside my comfort zone. Like Chance, find happiness in small things. Find my own form of scrap metal to transform junk into joy. Because if Dad all of a sudden decides he doesn’t need me, I’ll be left with nothing but an empty heart.
I remember the day Mum left. Remember how it tore out my heart, and after seeing Reef with other girls, I allowed the same cruel emotion to swamp me. The feeling of being inconsequential to someone important to me.
Disposable.
Dad has never thought of me as insignificant. But I know I’m replaceable not as his daughter but by the help I give to make his life easier and safe.
Safe.
Shit, is Dad trapped living with me?
The more I think, the more I believe I’m imprisoned by my own emotional baggage.
Reef needs to know I didn’t play him because I’m not that person. It’s why I tried to keep to the rules of it being about the sex.
Denying I cared for him was stupid. It proved nothing. He deserves to be heard because he said nothing had happened with those girls. I reacted because of my own insecurities.
I inhale a deep breath, ready to type a reply to Reef.
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was taking this road trip.
I didn’t know myself until I woke up to an image in my head of you on the couch with those girls in bikinis.
You were laughing.
I didn’t have a right to intrude. After all, we’re not together.
I have no say in what you do, but it did hurt me, and the feeling scared me.
Scared me into thinking I can’t see you again because I don’t want to feel afraid or hurt by your decisions.
What changed for me was coming on this trip with Chance and Adele.
So, don’t be mad with your mate because I now realise I want to take a chance and see you more.
Ride the wave with you.
I can delete some of it before I send. Right now, I need to get out what’s in my head and heart. Deep in my heart, there’s always been the notion of wanting to ride the wave with him. Only I wouldn’t admit it, and in my mind, it was a tidal wave I couldn’t handle. I’m not saying I’m ready but more so trying to be less guarded and aware I could get hurt, preparing for if I do.
“What do you think?” Adele asks.
“Sorry, what?”
“A weekend in Melbourne and Chance can get us tickets to a game.”
I think about how my dad would love to see a game. Now that his eye medication has improved his sight and balance, and he’s off the beers and in better health, I know he could go to a local game.
“I’ll do my best, but I’d love for my dad to get to an Adelaide game.”
“Consider it done,” Chance says before I ask. “I’ll have some signed memorabilia sent to you, too. Message me your address.”
“Wow, thanks. He’ll love it.”
Adele groans. “Buying your fans again?”
“I don’t need to buy them with a face like this.” He grins at Adele.
“Whatever. You’re yet to play a game, so don’t get too cocky.” She looks to the window, and for the first time, I empathise how hard it must be having a famous brother—one with a face enticing every female’s head to turn when he passes by. Without a sibling, I don’t need to compete with anyone for my father’s attention. I wonder if she feels she has to be someone special to prove herself to family. Or by doing other things—like hooking up with Zane and getting other forms of attention from her brother.
I’m still waiting for Chance to say something about the kiss. It’s not my business, but Adele and I shared a room, and I noticed her bed was empty throughout the night. I didn’t think anything of it again until I saw the way she kissed Zane.
And I won’t be the one to mention it.
Chapter Fifteen
MACY
Call me.
I’m done with the messages.
It’s a text from Reef after I sent my message when we gained internet coverage closer to Adelaide.
I’ll call you when I get home.
I’m catching an Uber from the airport where Chance is dropping off the rental car.
He doesn’t want to miss his flight and we’re already running behind in time.
Walking beside Chance and Adele toward the terminal, I thank them both for asking me along for the ride.
“I know you needed cheering up, and it’s making memories that give the most happiness.”
“How did you know?”
“Hanging out with Reef and his mates isn’t your wisest choice. You chose the wrong football code.” He winks at me.
“Argh. Here we go.” Adele rolls her eyes and lops her bag strap over her shoulder.
“Shut up. I’m serious. Was it that obvious?”
Adele shoves his shoulder, although he barely moves a muscle. “You’re so annoying.”
“Is he always like this?”
“Always,” she says, and waves as she heads toward the departure gate without him.
“I just know these things,” he says after she leaves. “If you ever need a friend to chat with, message me.”
“Same goes for you,” I tell him. “Keep me posted about your dad.”
“Will do. Tell Reef I’ll call him later tonight.”
“Is there something I should know?” A deep voice sounds from behind us.
We both turn, and my heart skips a beat seeing him standing there.
“Hey.”
Reef and Chance smack each other’s back. Reef’s eyes remain on me while he’s greeting Chance. “I took good care of your girl and showed her some of the outback.”
“And your infatuation with junk,” I quip.
My comment gives Reef reason to smile. “You still trying to create art with crap?”
“Am creating,” Chance corrects. “I got to go. I’ll let Mace tell you all about it. I’ll catch you in a couple of weeks when you’re back in Melbourne.” Chance turns and hugs me. “Say hi to your dad for me. Don’t forget to send me your address, so I can send through some gear.”
“Your dad follows his team?” Reef’s eyebrows arch high.
“Yeah.”
Chance chuckles. “Mace’s old man knows a good thing.” He laughs again and turns to walk away, his copper locks blowing in the wind.
When I meet Reef’s blue gaze, we stand in silence. “So, a road trip… can I give you a ride home?”
If I agree, it will be the first time I’ve allowed a guy to know where I live.
I inhale a breath. He’ll know more about me, and by allowing it, I’m opening my heart to him—a risk I want to push past. I can do this.
Reef’s gaze holds mine as though he’s watching my thoughts unravel, waiting for an answer. I remain composed. “Sure.”
He throws my bag over his shoulder. Takes my hand as though it’s a natural thing for him to do and leads me in the direction of his car—a silver Ford Ranger ute—a beast.
“It’s huge,” I say as I climb into the front seat. I give him my address, and he types it in maps.
“I need the space in the back for my board and swag if I camp out by the beach. Which reminds me…” he meets my gaze with an intensity to steal my breath, “… you owe me a weekend. I say a night on the beach. I don’t want to know why you can’t. I’d like to think you’d want to spend a night with me by the ocean.”
“I do. But I have to wait another three weeks for my next weekend off.”
He pushes his hand through blond waves. “I need to say this first. I’d never do anything with anyone if I were seeing someone. I’m not that type of guy.”
I nod.
“And because you thought otherwise, we wasted a weekend to be together.”
“I didn’t waste it. I learned a little more about myself. And I know I want to keep seeing you.”
Reef leans in and wraps a hand around
my neck. “Thank fuck.” His lips lower until they mash with mine—a kiss full of promises and an apology.
“I don’t understand,” I whisper against his lips. “Why me when you could have anyone? I mean, I’m hardly your type.”
“You’re exactly my type.” His hand wanders down to my breast. Lingers and falls to my waist. “I think about you every minute. I didn’t think I had a type until I met you.” He pushes strands of hair away from my eyes so I can see how serious he is.
“I’m sorry I gave you the silent treatment. It was immature. But I didn’t know what to say because I know you’re free to see other women.”
Reef places a hand under my chin and tilts it to make sure I meet his gaze. “I don’t want to see other girls. And I felt sick at the thought of you hooking up with someone else. When I saw photos of you, Chance, and Zane, I wanted to punch a hole in the wall because I didn’t know what I did wrong, and why you wouldn’t stay with me for a night, yet you took a trip with Chance. He’s my best mate, but fuck, I want to punch him sometimes.”
“He’s a great mate. He looks out for me, and honestly, he keeps telling me how great you are.” I lean forward and kiss him again. “So, you and me. For now?”
“You and me. We have fun together. If anything changes, you’ll be the first to know. You won’t find out otherwise by walking in on me and another chick. I’d never do that to you. Those two girls you saw me chatting with are girlfriends of my roommates. They’d all been to the beach and out for the day on a boat.”
I nod, reach for his hand and squeeze it. “Were you serious about asking me to meet your parents?”
“Yeah. I know it’s premature, but I was trying to get across how much you mean to me.”
“Not this time, okay? I need to spend Christmas with Dad.”
