Cocky Notes: A Hero Club Novel

by Leesa Bow

  She frowns at Brody but remains silent.

  “We were wasted, and it was a stupid prank,” Davidson says.

  Damn right, I want to add.

  “Reef, here, has given us a hard time, and we never meant to hurt you. We really like you and can’t believe we were so stupid,” Brody tells her.

  “It was. And you did hurt me.” She glances past them to me. “You hurt us,” she adds.

  “What can we do to fix it?” Davidson asks. “We’ve wanted to come and see you for weeks.”

  She hands them her glass. “You can start by buying me a drink… and Reef.”

  “I’m all good. I have to get going.” I wave at the group, satisfied my friends have given her an apology.

  Macy’s eyes round. “You’re going now?” she yells over the music.

  “I’m going surfing in the morning, so I’m heading to bed. These guys will look out for you.”

  She rolls her eyes. “More like I’ll be looking out for them.” She smiles at me with contentment in her eyes, and it warms my heart.

  I don’t want to ruin it with a false sense of hope until we talk. And right now, I need time to mull over how I’m going to explain it.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  REEF

  Are you coming in for coffee?

  It’s a text I’ve been waiting for, and yet I decline.

  Sorry. Have a big day planned.

  After my surf, I headed to the club for training, and now that I am home, I plan on tidying the apartment and chilling.

  Can I come see you after work?

  I have something for you.

  I hesitate before replying.

  Sure.

  Tidying the mess my teammates left last night, I place an online grocery order and click for it to be delivered later this afternoon.

  Sending the last of the trash down the shoot, I ask Google to play my favourite playlist.

  The groceries arrive and are packed away. I consider making her a cheese platter only my gut won’t stomach anything until I get out what I have to say. Locking the door, I take the elevator to the lobby.

  Lifestyle, Men’s Health, and women’s magazines—I’ve flicked through several while I wait. I recheck the time and stand when a brunette with a familiar sway of hips makes her way toward me.

  “Hey.” Her smile reaches her eyes when she hands me a wrapped box. “Sorry, it’s late. I got it for you in Broken Hill and then decided to give it to you for Christmas.”

  “Should I be nervous?”

  She giggles. “Maybe.”

  “Do you mind if I open it after we take a walk?”

  “A walk?”

  “A stroll.”

  I hand my gift over to Janelle, the receptionist, and ask her to keep it behind the desk for me. I take Macy’s hand and lead her to the beach, down past the rocks, and onto the sand. We kick off our shoes and carry them while we walk along the water’s edge.

  “I get the feeling we’re breaking up again even though we’re not together,” Macy croaks.

  I look up to the sky and think about my words. “The choice will be yours, not mine.”

  She stops walking, so I turn.

  “I can’t do this again,” she whispers, her eyes watering.

  Hell. I close the gap and place both hands on her shoulders. “I’ll get straight to the point rather than drag this out. Remember I asked you, what do you want? Where you saw yourself in five or ten years?”

  She nods slowly. “Was it a trick question?”

  I run my hands up and down her bare arms. “No. I tried to gauge what it is you want.”

  “I want you,” she rasps. “I know that now without the baggage I carried before.” She lowers her gaze to her bare feet, pushes her toes into the sand.

  “What changed your mind? Because you didn’t feel this way a few weeks ago.”

  She takes a step back and closes her eyes momentarily before speaking, “I thought about my personal growth. My future. The type of guy I’d want to be with. You ticked all my boxes, and besides, you already own my heart. The thing to really resonate was the kindness you offered.”

  “You remember our talk at Adele’s?”

  “Not much.” Her eyes are apologetic. “I heard about the incident with the homeless man.”

  “Yeah, the police got back to me and said he was discharged and being monitored by a shelter.”

  “He’s my friend… Harry.” She smiles, and I swear the whole beach lights up with a thousand suns shining down on us. “I try to help Harry when I can. When I learned he was bashed, I wanted to rush to the hospital. Oliver had camera footage, and after talking to the police, he said you helped save him.” She steps forward and places both hands on my chest. “I knew instantly it was a sign. You care for people so much… you care for me so much. And you didn’t give me a chance to explain, but you’ve proven time and again that you regret it, and you don’t want to hurt me. I trust you won’t do that again. I trust you.”

  I swallow the lump in my throat with our lips close—longing, belonging—pulling us together.

  “I’m infertile,” I murmur, not wanting to stall any longer.

  “What?”

  “My ex. Felicity…”

  She nods.

  “Told me she was pregnant. I had extra tests not long before because I was hit in the sack playing football. I didn’t tell her about the tests. Turns out, I have extremely low sperm count. The chances of me ever fathering a child are incredibly slim, if not impossible. So, I knew her being pregnant was a lie.”

  She blinks at me, comprehending.

  I remove her hands from my chest, both of us needing space.

  “Are you sure?” She shakes her head. “Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

  “You have a right to know. It fucked up my head for a while until I decided coming to Adelaide was the best thing, and I threw myself into training.” I turn to the ocean. “And surfing.”

  Macy’s hand rests on my cheek, and she guides my gaze back to hers. “I don’t care.” She shakes her head.

  “What if I care, Mace. You said you wanted kids, and I’m not going to take that from you if we have a future together.”

  “There are other ways.”

  I take her hand and lead her along the sand toward my apartment. “I need some time on my own. I want you to process what I’ve told you. Other than Chance and my family knowing, it’s not something I share. I didn’t even tell Felicity. Just allowed the truth to come out when I pushed her to see a doctor for pregnancy tests.”

  We walk in silence until we reach her car.

  “I wish it were different,” I tell her while running the back of my fingers along her cheek.

  “Reef, I—”

  I place a finger over her lips. Replace it with my mouth, and show her how I truly feel about her, with all the emotion of a possible last kiss.

  “Mate, I’m in.” Chance can’t hide the excitement in his voice.

  “Always knew it was going to happen, mate. Only a matter of when. So, give me the details because I’ll be there to watch you play your first game.”

  “Hoping you would. I kept a spare ticket for you. You ought to see the smile on Dad’s face when I told him.”

  I laugh. “Yeah, when I spoke to him at Adele’s, I could see how proud he was. I suppose I need one of the face posters on a stick to hold up when you score a goal.”

  Chance chuckles. “Smartass. And there’ll be a pass for you to come down to the locker room after the game. A home game in front of a home crowd. I’m so excited I could piss myself.”

  “Get the excitement out of your system now, so you can focus clearly on the game. Good luck.”

  “Thanks, mate.”

  “Shit, I forgot to mention Macy gave me the gift from your road trip. I have a sculpture, and I think it’s the one you tried to replicate. The weird sculpture on your bar at Adele’s party.”

  “Hey, it’s sick. I love my creation, but impressed Mace ga
ve the professional piece to you.”

  “My only advice is stick with kicking a ball. It’s your best skill.”

  “Whatever. See you on the other side.”

  I end the call, check for new messages before booking a flight to Melbourne for tomorrow night. No notifications from a certain someone, but then I did ask her for space and to take her time to think about her future. Heading to Melbourne to watch Chance play his first game is perfect to take my mind off my own shit.

  Twenty-four hours later, I arrive in Melbourne and spend time with my family Friday night before heading to the soccer game on Saturday afternoon.

  Noah convinces me to go on a run with him Saturday morning. I’m fit but can’t run the marathon distance he considers a casual jog, but he slows his stride so we can talk through heavy breaths. I need to tell him about Macy, and how it feels right being with her, and it also feels right being back in Melbourne. Apart from her knowing about my infertility, there’s no way she’ll leave her father to come to Melbourne even if we give it a shot, so I need to start finding a way to untangle my thoughts and feelings on how to make it work if she says yes. I expect when she has thought everything through, she’ll realise there’s no future with me.

  Noah coughs to clear out his lungs before talking. “I’ve never seen you hung up on a girl like this even though you’ve convinced yourself you have no future.”

  “Yeah. I was so focused on winning her back and being all positive like Chance, I ignored the real reasons we can’t be together despite being in love.”

  “In love?” he rasps out between heavy breaths. “So, you honestly think she’s the one?”

  We turn a corner, and I’m relieved we’re only blocks from home. “Yeah. I did. But… I can’t see how it’s going to work out. I mean, sure we can keep fooling around like we have been until it’s time for me to leave for Melbourne, only then it’s going to hurt more to leave her.”

  “Sounds like it’s more than fooling around.”

  “It was never supposed to grow to more. It did. And after we split, all I could focus on was getting her back. I hated not being able to see her. Then when I thought we could go back to how it was and realised it wasn’t possible for me because it would be a relationship, it’s then when the penny dropped. I couldn’t allow her to get into a relationship without knowing the truth.”

  “So, what now?”

  Panting, I slow up to a walk because the thought of never being with Macy again steals all the oxygen surrounding me.

  I shake my head at my brother. “I’m so bloody exhausted thinking about it. I want her. She deserves more. But I’m a selfish prick.”

  “Yeah, you are.” He punches my shoulder playfully. “Sometimes it’s okay to be a prick.”

  Chance scores a goal, and the entire stadium erupts into cheers and applause. His face is on thousands of sticks bobbing up and down around the crowd as they sing his name.

  “Cha-ance. Cha-ance. Cha-ance.”

  We have diehard fans, but this is the next level.

  “You’d think he were their captain the way everyone idolises him,” I say to his father.

  His father nods and gives a proud smile. “He’s waited a long time for this. And their support is the cream on top.”

  “It’s a mountain of cream.” I laugh, and my heart swells with pride for my friend. I lean forward and watch Adele and Mrs Bateman both clapping in sync with the rest of the crowd, a rhythm to his name. They’re both smiling ear to ear.

  I’m glad I got to witness this in person.

  Football accolades came quicker for me in the AFL. Watching the sheer joy on his family’s face, I realise how long they have waited for this moment. How long Chance has waited. The years of training and giving up things in life others take for granted to be the best he can be in the sport he loves. Those years of waiting to be selected can play on your mind, knowing you are good enough to be out there playing, and the selectors think otherwise. It can fuck with your head. Not Chance. He’s been positive throughout his journey of getting here, and I admire him more for it.

  At half time, I head to the bar to get Mr Bateman a beer.

  The game restarts after the break, and Chance is sprinting with another player for the ball. He slips slightly, and his knees buckle. Chance goes down rolling, and when he stops, he grabs for his knee.

  Fuck.

  The crowd gasps in sync, rising to stand in concern.

  “Oh, no,” Adele moans.

  Mrs Bateman places a hand on her shoulder.

  Mr Bateman’s gaze is fixed on his son.

  The game is stopped while trainers run out and call for a stretcher. Minutes later, Chance is carried from the ground.

  For minutes, I’ve stood by his family in silence. Shock and worry swirling in emotional currents.

  “I’ll head down to the rooms,” Mr Bateman tells his family. He slides along the seats to the walkway.

  “Call me when you speak to him, so I can come down, too,” Mrs Bateman says.

  I don’t want to think of a possible ACL injury, except I know it’s part of the sport, and with all codes of football, the disappointment of a season-ending and sometimes career-ending injury is real.

  Dakota is recovering from his injury. I’m visiting him tomorrow to check in on my mate. I only hope I won’t be doing the same for Chance.

  We take our seats for the game to continue without Chance. It’s not the same, and I’m sure every supporter is holding their breath in anticipation, waiting for Chance to be assessed by the medical team in the locker room.

  Chance’s team got the win.

  He’s kept a brave face in the locker room for the team and his family. He’s in a chair with his knee elevated and ice packs applied to the area alongside a brace to stop him from moving it.

  “I’m booked in tomorrow for scans to assess the damage. But I’m sure it’s a minor injury,” he says, smiling.

  I know him well enough to see him through his positive façade.

  “Yeah, it’s probably nothing,” Adele jokes. “You’ll do anything for attention, and more than likely be at training running on it tomorrow.”

  He chuckles and gives her a wink. “That’s the plan. I’m not slowing down for anyone.”

  After a while, his family is invited to talk with the coach and meet the captain of the team who tells them how wonderful Chance is at the club and what he does behind the scenes. He is everyone’s hero. It allows me to speak to him alone.

  We punch knuckles lightly. “How you holding up?”

  Chance’s expression turns weary. “I’m in a fucking lot of pain. As soon as we’re done here, I’m heading to the hospital, but I’m not telling my family tonight. I’ll wait for tomorrow to give them any news.”

  “What’s your feeling, mate?”

  Chance shakes his head. “I dunno, but it doesn’t feel right.”

  I place a hand on his shoulder. “I’m here if you need a friend.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it. I still haven’t called Piper. She’s probably worried, but my phone is with my gear. Could I use yours?”

  I pull out my phone from my pocket and hand it to him. “I’ll stand over here to give you space to talk to her.”

  Moving away from Chance, I hear the emotion in his voice as he speaks to his girlfriend. He’s known her a couple of months and going by his tone, she’s the one he’s pouring his emotion and concern to. Not his family or his best friend. A woman he’s only known a short while. And I thought I fell hard for Macy.

  I give him some time, and then when he’s done, I walk back over and drop my phone in my pocket. “Does she need a lift to come and see you?”

  “She’s meeting me at the hospital later.”

  His parents make their way back to their son. Mrs Bateman speaks to Chance quietly. They need time as a family.

  “I’m going to head off. I’ll see you tomorrow. If you need anything, I’m a phone call away.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six
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  REEF

  I heard about Chance. Is he okay?

  It’s Macy’s first message in almost two weeks. When I asked her for time to think about our future, I thought she’d message within a few days. I’ve sweated every day out waiting for her to give me something.

  I expected, thanks but I’ve changed my mind and want a different future with someone else, because I wouldn’t blame her for running from me. A text asking about Chance is still something.

  Booked in for an ACL recon tomorrow.

  He’s disappointed but you know Chance, all revved up for rehab even before the surgery, and ready to give it a good crack next year.

  She replies immediately, and I’m thinking about where she is and what she’s doing at this moment. I check the time—possibly in a lunch break. Shit, I know her routine better than my own.

  Please let me know how he is after surgery.

  I want to call her but decide it safer to message.

  I will after I speak to him.

  The space has given me time to consider my options. After chatting with Chance on the phone and inspired by his enthusiasm not to give up, I’m ready to look at treatments or anything to help. Years have passed since I shut down my parents not wanting further investigation. I’m not ready for kids by a long shot, but for Macy, I’ll seek medical advice if she wants me. My thoughts do a full circle and come back to her devotion to her father, and I respect her for it. Only I’m unsure if I’m cut out for a long-distance relationship.

  I end the call from Chance.

  My gut tightens, knowing he has a long road ahead of him to get back into the team. I don’t doubt his commitment to training since he’s already talking about when he can commence weights and rebuild muscle. Returning to a team where you didn’t cement a position is going to be tough, even though he was a hero in his one and only game.