Twisted Tea Christmas

by Laura Childs

  “Thank you.” Theodosia grabbed a stack of small plates and started dealing them out like playing cards. “Good thing there’s a lot of counter space here.”

  “Yeah, this is a bangin’ kitchen,” Haley said. “Really easy to work in.”

  “So much bigger than ours.”

  The stove was an eight-burner Wolf stove; there were two ovens and a commercial salamander for broiling and warming. And everything—pot racks, counters, appliances—was gleaming stainless steel.

  “Oh no, don’t you dare go there, Theo,” Haley said. “I love my little kitchen. Besides, you know how much I dislike any sort of change.”

  “I wasn’t planning to change a thing at our sweet little tea shop,” Theodosia said. “Heaven forbid.”

  “Scones are in the oven. My Charleston chowder is bubbling on the stove. Now I’ll start prepping the rest of our courses.” Haley jerked her chin toward the door. “How’s it going out there?”

  “The musicians just arrived, so Drayton should be in his element.”

  “I figured he’d want to hang with the actors. Wait. Are there actors?”

  “There are,” Theodosia said. “But their play or tableau or whatever it’s going to be remains a deep, dark secret. Drayton won’t reveal a thing about what’s going to happen.”

  Haley reached up and pushed her chef’s hat back from her forehead. “Seriously?”

  Theodosia favored her with a mysterious smile. “It’s another mystery.”

  “What else is new? Hey, open that cake box, will you?”

  Theodosia removed the lid and said, “Oh, Haley, this is spectacular.”

  “You like?”

  “It’s wonderful.”

  The cake was a three-tiered masterpiece covered in buttercream frosting. Each tier was decorated with fondant crowns, royal hearts, garlands of pearls, and lace, with tiers incrementally smaller as they went up. A bouquet of pink and yellow fondant flowers adorned the very top of the cake.

  “It looks like it could be Queen Victoria’s wedding cake,” Theodosia said.

  “Isn’t that interesting,” Haley said, “since that’s exactly what I used for reference. Now let’s take that cake out there and put it on display.”

  * * *

  * * *

  Drayton had arranged the three musicians in one corner of the dining room. Three middle-aged men, all turned out in elegant tuxedos with instruments that included a dulcimer, a violin, and a cittern.

  “Remember,” Drayton told them, “this is a Victorian-themed tea party. So the more authentic the music, the better.”

  The violinist touched his bow to his instrument and played a few spritely notes. “This one’s by Gilbert and Sullivan, called Victoria and Merrie England,” he said.

  “Perfect!” Drayton said.

  “Drayton.” Theodosia tapped him on the shoulder. Then, when he spun around to face her, she had to stifle a giggle. Drayton was truly duded out to look like a gentleman from the Victorian era. He wore a frock coat, a satin vest, and a top hat. A wide silk cravat replaced his traditional bow tie and he carried a silver-tipped walking stick.

  “You look fantastic,” Theodosia said, “like a proper Victorian gentleman.”

  “Thank you, ma’am. You look like quite the Victorian lady yourself. And I do love that cameo you added.”

  Theodosia touched a hand to the cameo she’d pinned to her blouse. “It was my mother’s.”

  “Good taste runs in the family.”

  “Have the actors arrived yet?” Theodosia asked.

  “Oh yes, and I’ve already given them their scripts.”

  Theodosia glanced around. No actors, just beautifully decorated tables along with the musicians. “Where on earth did you stash them? Oh, the breakfast room?”

  Drayton touched a finger to his mouth. “Like I said before, I’m keeping it all hush-hush. But if it meets with your approval, I’d like to serve the tea and scones before I introduce the actors.”

  Theodosia gave him a probing look. “I’m curious, but I’m willing to go along with whatever you’ve got up your sleeve.”

  30

  Theodosia and Drayton stood at the front door of the Dove Cote Inn, watching as cars pulled up to the curb and guests clambered out. Behind them a mantel clock struck four resounding bongs.

  “Showtime,” Drayton announced with glee. “The torches are lit, the tea is brewed, the food is ready, the musicians are making sweet music, and now it’s time to welcome our guests.”

  But their friendly greetings were almost overshadowed by a torrent of compliments.

  “Those lanterns are adorable!”

  “So that’s what you meant by a Grand Illumination.”

  “With the sun going down, the inn looks so moody and elegant.”

  “I can’t wait to see inside!”

  Theodosia and Drayton shook hands, exclaimed over old friends, exchanged air-kisses, hung coats, and then passed everyone on to Pauline and Wade, who escorted the guests into the dining room.

  Delaine Dish showed up wearing a long black gown with balloon sleeves and a supertight bodice. She had her niece Bettina in tow.

  “Like Queen Victoria herself,” Drayton murmured to Delaine, taking both her hands in greeting.

  “But in a size two, dear,” Delaine responded.

  “I thought your sister Nadine was coming for Christmas,” Theodosia said.

  Delaine rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Nadine was supposed to come, but with her typical scatterbrain mentality, everything got screwed up.”

  Wearing a herringbone jacket with gray suede slacks, Bettina just looked sad. “Sometimes it’s hard to count on Mom.”

  Another influx of guests arrived—Jill and her daughter, Kristen, Susan Monday (the ubiquitous Lavender Lady), and Brooke Carter-Crocket, owner of Hearts Desire. Then there were Linda, Jessica, and Judi, who’d all been at the Nutcracker Tea earlier in the week.

  With half the guests already inside, Theodosia left Drayton at the front door and hurried in to see how things were going. As it turned out, most of their guests were already seated and chatting away, exclaiming over the tables and decor.

  Excellent. Now to peep in on Haley.

  “Haley.”

  Haley whipped her head toward the swinging door. “Drayton’s already brewed the tea and I’m going to start plating the scones,” Haley said in one long breath. “He told me he wants to serve tea and scones before he stages his little play.”

  “That’s the word I got, too,” Theodosia said.

  Back in the Essex Room, Theodosia strolled from table to table. They’d filled up rapidly and it was exciting to greet old friends and welcome new ones. As she skirted one table, heading for another, she happened to notice Coy Cooper pulling out a chair for Evelyn Fruth, Miss Drucilla’s former housekeeper.

  Seeing them together stopped Theodosia dead in her tracks.

  Oh boy, did I miss something important here?

  Theodosia’s heart did a rapid flip-flop inside her chest and she had to grip the back of a chair to steady herself. What were these two doing here? Did they have some kind of weird codependent partnership? Was this the new, intergenerational 2.0 version of Murder Incorporated? Or maybe her mind had gone too wonky and they were simply friendly acquaintances here to enjoy a holiday tea. Maybe.

  Hurrying across the room, knowing the Cooper-Fruth issue had to stay on the back burner for now, Theodosia ran into Drayton, who was looking pleased with himself.

  “Once everyone’s seated—which should be in the next few minutes—we’ll begin serving tea and scones,” he said.

  “Drayton,” Theodosia said a little breathlessly, “you’ll never guess who’s here.”

  “Who’s that?” he asked with an abstract smile. Drayton was already thinking ahead to his program.

 
“Coy Cooper is here with Evelyn Fruth.”

  “Really?” His brows pinched together. “Whyever for?”

  “I have no idea. But I find it strange, don’t you?”

  “As a matter of fact, yes. But there’s nothing we can do short of kicking them out, is there?”

  “I suppose not.”

  “Is that what you want to do?”

  “Not without a good reason. Besides, it would be embarrassing for everyone.”

  “Then I suggest we proceed as if nothing is amiss,” Drayton said, “and deal with them later. If we have to.”

  “Okay, but . . . okay.”

  * * *

  * * *

  Minutes later, Theodosia and Drayton began pouring tea while Pauline and Wade delivered plates that held scones and small sides of jam, lemon curd, and Devonshire cream.

  When everyone was sipping and munching, Theodosia and Drayton walked to the center of the room.

  “Merry Christmas from all of us at the Indigo Tea Shop,” Theodosia said, her voice ringing out as she spoke her words. “And welcome to our Victorian Christmas Tea.” Now every pair of eyes was clearly focused on her. “While you enjoy Twinings Christmas Tea with cinnamon and cloves along with your lemon cream scones and lemon curd, our tea sommelier, Drayton, has a special treat for you.” Theodosia paused, then said, “Drayton?”

  “To delight and sweeten your first course, we’re going to usher in a few special guests from the distant past,” Drayton said in his most theatrical voice. “Would you please welcome Queen Victoria herself, accompanied by her beloved husband, Prince Albert.”

  The music swelled as two actors, dead ringers for Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, strolled into the room. Dressed in Victorian finery of silks and ruffles, they swished about the room, much to the delight of the guests. Looking somewhat regal and haughty, Queen Victoria fanned herself with an ornate lace fan while the more sociable Prince Albert smiled and nodded to the guests.

  Applause rang out like mad to welcome these realistic-looking historical figures, while Theodosia said, under her breath, “Aren’t you the clever one?”

  Drayton winked at her, then continued his announcement.

  “And one more special guest will be joining us today—the Duchess of Bedford herself, Lady Anna Russell.”

  Now a slightly plumpish duchess in a long pink gown with bell sleeves wafted into the room, looking regal as well as appreciative of the guests’ thunderous applause.

  “As you might recall, this rather enchanting duchess was actually a bridesmaid at Queen Victoria’s wedding and also became a lifelong friend of the queen,” Drayton said. “I might also add that our dear duchess was the rather brilliant woman who originated the concept of afternoon tea.”

  Now, per Drayton’s instructions, Queen Victoria, Prince Albert, and the duchess all picked up wicker baskets and began moving through the sea of tables, distributing gifts to the guests. There were cute little packets of tea, floral nosegays wrapped in lace, small jars of honey bound with ribbon, and sweet-scented sachets.

  “I hope you enjoy these small Victorian gifts and favors while Drayton delivers a short recitation,” Theodosia said.

  Drayton bowed sharply, then said, “With slight apologies to the author Joseph Horatio Chant for lifting a verse here and there, I hope you find these words as charming as I do.”

  While she sits on regal throne,

  And acts full well a regal part,

  She reigns not on the throne alone.

  She reigns in England’s heart.

  Drayton continued . . .

  In every land, her name is blest;

  She is beloved by old and young;

  From pole to pole, from east to west,

  The song “God Save the Queen” is sung.

  With a warm smile on her face, Theodosia stepped to the center of the room and said, “And now, ladies and gentlemen, let’s party like it’s 1899!”

  * * *

  * * *

  The afternoon tea seemed to go by in a whirlwind. The second course of Charleston chowder was served with shrimp salad tea sandwiches, much to everyone’s delight. And once that was sipped and savored, Theodosia and company brought out the main course of braised beef tenderloin accompanied by corn bread served in individual cast-iron skillets.

  “It’s a major production, but we seem to be moving along amazingly well,” Drayton said to Theodosia when they bumped shoulders in the kitchen.

  “Speaking of productions, your idea of having actors portray Queen Victoria, Prince Albert, and the Duchess of Bedford was sheer genius. The guests were thrilled. In fact, your actors are still wandering around, staying in character, and visiting with them.”

  “It was great,” Haley said. “I stuck my head out the door and caught the looks on everyone’s faces when the characters came waltzing out. It was priceless!”

  “But your food is the star,” Theodosia said to Haley. Then she turned to Drayton. “And of course your tea.”

  Drayton smiled. “Of course.”

  “And Pauline and Wade have been a huge help,” Haley added.

  “You made the right decision,” Drayton said to Theodosia. “They’ve worked their little hearts out with nary a problem.”

  “No problems that I’ve seen,” Theodosia said.

  “Wait a minute. Are you still nervous about Coy Cooper?” Drayton asked.

  Haley glanced over her shoulder at them. “That guy showed up? Why?”

  “We don’t know,” Drayton said. “So we’re holding our breath in case he means to cause trouble.”

  “Did you ever think he could just be here for tea?” Haley asked.

  “Maybe,” Theodosia said. But she was suspicious nonetheless. Something about the event felt off. She just couldn’t put her finger on what.

  * * *

  * * *

  Their final course was praline cheesecake served with Toasted Nut Brûlée oolong from Plum Deluxe. Many of the guests groaned when they saw the slices of cheesecake accompanied by small squares of fudge, but nobody turned them down.

  “You see?” Drayton said to Theodosia as they watched their guests literally scrape their plates to get every delicious bite. “We’ve put them into a culinary stupor.”

  “Wasn’t that the whole idea?” Theodosia said.

  She turned, walked over to Coy Cooper’s table, and leaned into his ear.

  “I hope everything’s been to your satisfaction,” she said.

  Cooper gave a polite smile. “Couldn’t be better.”

  “I must say I’m surprised to see you here.” Actually, Theodosia was more than surprised. She was unnerved.

  “I was hoping you might have changed your mind. About investigating, I mean.”

  “I think,” Theodosia said, “we should leave that to the police.”

  * * *

  * * *

  Twenty minutes later, the Victorian Christmas Tea was over. Two-and-a-half hours from start to finish, with all the guests murmuring about how delicious and memorable the afternoon had been.

  “My favorite part was Queen Victoria!”

  “But oh, those delicious scones.”

  “And that cheesecake was to die for.”

  “You’re sending them off on a sugar high,” Isabelle said to Theodosia as they watched the guests practically float out of the room.

  “That’s exactly right,” Theodosia said.

  “But they loved it. You know, it would be wonderful to collaborate with you on a couple more tea parties. Bring you in as our guest caterer.”

  “We’d love that,” Theodosia said. She watched carefully as Coy Cooper escorted Mrs. Fruth out of the room. There’d been no problems. Thank goodness. Of course, that wasn’t to say Cooper was off the hook. He could still be a stone-cold killer who’d come simpl
y to flaunt his bravado.

  Theodosia focused on Isabelle again. “Now comes the hard part.”

  “The cleaning and packing up? It looks to me as if your people are already on top of that.”

  Theodosia gazed across the room, where Pauline and Wade were hard at work, stacking dirty dishes in tubs, taking special care with the china teacups and saucers.

  “I’ve got to . . . Will you excuse me?” she said to Isabelle.

  Theodosia hurried across the empty room, where candles sputtered in candelabras and flower petals and swirls of ribbon littered the carpet.

  “Pauline . . . Wade,” she said.

  They both turned to look at her.

  “You two have been fantastic,” Theodosia said. “I can’t begin to thank you for all the help you’ve given us.”

  “Actually,” Pauline said, “it turned out to be kind of fun.”

  “I’ve never participated in a tea party before,” Wade said. “It kind of opened my eyes to what’s possible. I mean, going with a theme like this . . . and the costumed characters. You could just see people’s eyes light up.”

  “We’re big on themes,” Theodosia laughed. “Nutcracker Teas, Rose Teas, Blue-and-White Teas, Harvest Teas, Candlelight Teas. You name it, we’ll come up with something fun.”

  “I love that,” Wade said. “It’s smart marketing.”

  Theodosia saw Drayton emerge from the kitchen and give her a low-key wave. “Excuse me,” she said. She caught up with Drayton, said, “What?”

  “Haley’s busy packing her things, but she’s going to need help loading everything into your car.”

  “No problem.”

  Drayton glanced over at Pauline and Wade. “And I think we need to pay those two.”

  “That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking. They worked their little hearts out. In fact, I’ll run back over there and tell them right now.”

  Pauline and Wade were dumbfounded when they heard that Theodosia wanted to pay them.

  Pauline shook her head. “But we volunteered.”