“I was about tae question him, when he gave me a big speech about daein’ his duty, and what it meant tae stand up for his country and what was right. He sounded a lot like me when I get goin’, and I couldnae dae anythin’ tae stop him, not that it would’ve mattered.”
Juliana could not say anything.
“He died for what he believed in,” continued Laird Drechten. “He knew that he had tae dae it or he would regret it for the rest of his life. I’ve regretted letting him go for the rest of mine, but I’ll be with him soon.”
For the first time, Juliana got the impression that the Laird wanted to pass away.
“You cannot say things like that.” Juliana was becoming annoyed at the Laird. “You have another son who is coming of age soon. Lady Drechten told me about him, though she did not mention that you both had a son that passed away.”
“She took it harder than I did.” Laird Drechten furrowed his brow as he recounted the aftermath of his son’s death. “She was distraught for a long time. She blamed me at first for lettin’ him go, and cried over the unfairness of the situation. Why dae other men get tae live when her son gets tae die? That’s what she would ask me, time and time again. I didnae have an answer for that. She disnae like tae talk about it much, and I cannae blame her.
“If it wasnae for Robert, I dinnae ken what she would’ve done.”
“Where is Robert?” asked Juliana.
“France, I believe. Ye ken, they think that there’s goin’ tae be some sort of uprisin’ against Queen Anne over there. There’s talk of a Jacobite army, if ye can believe it, and a Scotsman leadin’ them. They’ll blame us for anythin’, they will. I’m proud of him goin’ over there with our other representatives, but he’s nae politician, like the rest of them. In fact, if ye ask me, he’s after one of those French lassies.”
“Oh, really.” There was some humor in the situation. “I hope that he returns soon.”
“I dae too.”
“I only want to say again that I am sorry, but I know that it will not help,” said Juliana.
“Bein’ here and listenin’ is helpin’. Thank ye for that.”
“As long as I am a part of this family, I will be here to listen to you.” She realized that the sentiment had not come out as intended. “No, that sounds like I am only bound by familial connections. As long as I am able, I will be here to listen to you.”
“Thank ye,” repeated Laird Drechten. “Now, how about another cake? If I’m goin’ tae depart this world, it may as well be with a belly full of cakes.”
Juliana chuckled and refilled their plates. The Laird’s situation made her think of her own. If he could remain so upbeat in his own situation, then perhaps she could too. This man had his spirits up when everything seemed to be against him, while she had a lot to gain from her situation, her family did, at least.
“I feel better, too,” admitted Juliana. “Just by talking with you.”
“Marriage is a difficult time. Ye are startin’ a new life with a man that ye have not yet met. It’s understandable that ye are hesitant, but I’m sure that ye'll make the right choice.”
“I hope that I will, too.” In truth, she knew that there was no choice to be made, it had already been made for her. “Did you feel nervous when you met Lady Drechten? Had you met her before you were to be wed?”
“A story for another time. I need some rest, if ye dinnae mind.” Laird Drechten blinked to keep his eyes from shutting.
“Of course.” Juliana stood up from her chair. “Shall I tell the maid to come and clean up the food?”
“Please dae,” said Laird Drechten.
She could see the tiredness in his face as she left the room.
It really is not fair how life treats some people and not others. The Laird has lost so much, and now he faces death. Can I compare myself to him? Is my situation really that bad? I must wait until the Laird arrives to fully decide.
Juliana opened the door as the Laird drew the blankets up around himself. She closed it quietly behind her and turned around to find Lady Drechten standing there. Juliana almost jumped out of her skin.
“My Lady.” The words were blurted out before Juliana could fully compose herself.
Has she been waiting out here for me?
“Miss Petrey,” The words were formal as if the two ladies had only just met for the first time. “What were ye daein’ in me husband’s room?”
“He invited me in.” It was the truth, but it felt like a lie as she tried to regain some composure. “I was walking by when he spotted me. He wanted to talk with me.”
“And ordered tea and cakes for the two of ye.” It was a statement and not a question, but Juliana still felt the need to answer and try to explain herself.
“He ordered them, yes. I think that he only wanted some company.”
“So, my company is not enough?” Again, it was not a question that was expected to be answered, but Juliana knew that she would, all the same. The venom and spite were back, and if there was any doubt of being interrogated before, that doubt had been stripped away.
“No, that’s not what I meant.” Juliana’s voice raised in pitch. She knew that she was in the wrong, yet she did not know why. It was as if fate was conspiring to make her life as hard as possible.
“Ye seem tae spend a lot of time visitin’ men confined tae their beds.”
“Pardon.” She realized what the Lady was getting at. “No, I have not had a chance to visit Andrew yet.”
“No.” Lady Drechten spat the words as she spoke them. “Ye spent a lot of time with Andrew on the way up here.”
“I guess that I did, but we barely spoke.”
“And some time alone,” added Lady Drechten.
“We were riding and attacked by bandits.” Juliana felt as if she were being attacked now.
“Aye, a lucky escape."
Juliana could not shake the feeling that she was being watched by Lady Drechten. Every time that they talked, it felt like an interrogation, and it was obvious that she disliked Andrew.
Is this why you dislike me? Is it because I spent some time with him? Are you jealous of me?
Juliana shook the thought from her head, she did not think that Lady Drechten was jealous of her, but she did think that the Lady was trying to find out something with all of her questioning, and spending time with her husband had only angered her more.
At least I have found another man who is as good as Andrew. Life has been unfair to both of them. One has lost a son while the other has lost a father.
“I do not mean to overstay my welcome here,” stammered Juliana. “And I do not want to cause distress to anyone. I apologize if I have done so, my Lady.”
“Ye can stay away from me husband.” It was an order. “I can take care of him by meself, he disnae need ye pokin’ yer nose in.”
Juliana felt attacked once again, but there was nothing that she could do about it. She had known that she should not have gone into the room and sit with another woman’s husband, especially when he was in his bed, but it had felt right at the time.
“I am sorry, My Lady.” Juliana realized that she had been saying sorry for a lot for things recently, even though they were not strictly her fault.
I need to be better than this. I have to try and do the right thing here, and that means staying in Lady Drechten’s good books. I must keep to myself until the Laird gets here, and that means no more visits to see Andrew.
18
A Walk In The Woods
Lady Drechten looked Juliana up and down before letting out a light snort. She turned and opened the door to her husband’s room before entering and closing the door behind her. Juliana stood there for a moment and worried that she had ruined any relationship that she might have had with her.
She was already dreading meeting her future husband, and there was no telling when he would arrive. He may already be in the Castle for all that she knew. Lady Drechten would surely have mentioned it if he was, so she ruled tha
t out, but she knew that he would come soon.
Juliana needed to get out of the Castle. Suddenly, the wide-open hallways were closing in on her, the grey stone more of a prison than it had been. She walked quickly down the passageway until she reached the top of the steps, and her momentum sent her running down the stairs. She wanted to run away from everything.
When she got outside and found the courtyard, she still could not breathe. The sky was above, and a gentle breeze lilted through the air, but she was still closed in. She had to get away from the people too. She stood unnoticed in the corner of the courtyard and looked around. She did not want to go into the village, she needed a walk that would clear her head.
Someone tipped their hat and said good afternoon to her. She replied kindly, but it was enough to wake her from her stupor and send her rushing toward the large arch at the front of the Castle. She came to the same road that she had brought Andrew in on, and the same guards sitting in the small guardhouse. She did not stop long enough for them to notice and greet her.
Juliana flew by the guardhouse, her skirt billowing behind her, and diverged from the path to find the thick forest. She did not think that there would be bandits in the trees, not so close to the Castle.
If there is, perhaps Andrew will come and rescue me again.
She shook the thought from her head. It was the type of thing that would get her into more trouble than she was already in, and she had already promised herself that she would not aggravate anyone else in her short stay here.
Juliana looked around. She had not been thinking about where she was going and had been trying to purge the thoughts from her head. She was not lost, the Castle was visible beyond the trees on one side, but it felt calming to be off of the beaten track. No one would find her out here, she could be by herself for a precious few moments, and decide when to return.
It was her last vestige of freedom.
The walk was a moment from heaven. The deep emerald leaves of the trees were in stark contrast to the grays of the Castle, and there were momentary glimpses of the rich, blue sky, occasionally, gleaming sapphires in a sea of green.
The birds were chirping songs that only they understood, but were beautiful nonetheless, and a deep breath in brought the scent of nature in all its glory, damp leaves, pine needles, and wet earth. There had been rain the night before, but the sun was stealing the moisture from the ground now.
Juliana stopped and looked up to the sky through the leaves; she turned in a circle, making the branches circle above her like she had caused the world to spin. Her dizziness was brought to an abrupt halt by the snapping of a branch.
A deer, a bird, a bandit?
She looked straight ahead and into his eyes. She had set out from the Castle to search for something, she knew that now, and she had found it. She had found Andrew.
“Miss Petrey,” whispered Andrew. “What are ye daein’ out here?”
It took Juliana a little time to compose herself; her spinning head did not help things.
“I came out here for a walk,” said Juliana. “You are out of bed already?”
“I am. I couldnae stay cooped up in that infirmary any longer. They say that the wound is healin’, and I needed tae get up and walk about. Ye know, clear me head.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” replied Juliana. “I was going to come and visit yesterday, but I was unable.”
“Dinnae worry,” said Andrew. “I know what things are like. Ye need tae think about yer future.”
“Yet, I cannot,” sobbed Juliana. A sad smile came to her face as she thought of her future.
Andrew stood in front of her, tall, handsome, a fierce warrior. He still favored his side, and his hand was placed on top of the wound. His dirty shirt covered the bandages, but a single ragged string hung down below the waistline. He had on rough trews that she had not yet seen, and he looked almost naked without his sword on his belt.
Andrew's expression was beaten and weary, his face pale from the blood that he had lost, and the lack of rest in the past few days. He stooped a little to the side as the wound healed, and his stubble had grown to be more of a beard than anything else. He should have looked haggard and rough, but he had never looked more handsome to Juliana.
The Castle was behind her, and that bolstered her spirit, though she was not brave enough to do anything about it. She could only stare in silence as her hero stood before her.
Please come to me, I know that you must.
It took him a moment but, as if the message had been telepathically sent across the fluttering leaves and whispering zephyr, Andrew moved to her. He strode across the thick underbrush and grabbed her as if she would run away if he did not hold on tight.
Juliana gasped and went limp in his arms. She was his and wanted this. Andrew pulled her up so that their eyes were locked with each other. Juliana expected him to be the gentleman, to give her an out in the situation.
She knew what her answer would be, and knew that he knew it too. She would brush the questions aside, no matter the jeopardy. They both wanted this. There was nothing that Juliana was going to do to stop it.
She reached forward so that their faces were closer, the sound of their breath apparent, and they could both feel the gentle wisps of air on their lips. The tension was so thick around them that it swallowed them up, and brought protection.
It was a moment caught in time, a bug in a void of amber. Except, instead of the bug, there were two lovers, and the amber was replaced by green foliage.
Andrew pulled closer, and their lips touched. The kiss by the lake had been passionate, and the one in bed was sensual, this one blew both of those away. Juliana melted like ice in a stream and flowed into Andrew’s being. Any thought of consequence was wiped from her mind, almost everything was taken from her thoughts, save for the Highlander she was bound to.
I can only think of you.
Their mouths pressed into each other, changing shape to adapt to the other. Juliana wrapped her arms around Andrew’s shoulders and could feel his muscular body under the clothes. The entire setting was more intimate than when they had been in bed together.
I can smell your sweetness, and taste your lips.
The world was intoxicating, and Juliana could feel the hairs on the back of her neck rise as Andrew ran his hands down her back, and discovered Juliana with his tongue. She was shy at first but gave in eagerly as he caught her in his embrace.
The birds continued to twitter around them as if serenading at the expense of everything else. They had stolen the songs of the birds for themselves. A butterfly fluttered around Juliana’s head; at least, she thought that one did. It brought a sweetness on the air, a hint of lavender.
Andrew pulled back. “I dinnae mean tae change yer mind, or anythin’, I just needed tae kiss ye one more time.”
“Please, do not say anymore,” said Juliana. “I want this too, I really do.”
Andrew smiled at Juliana. “Ye are more beautiful than ever.”
“And you are as handsome as any man who has walked these lands,” gasped Juliana. It was then that she knew what she wanted. She wanted Andrew, wanted him with all of her heart, but fate did not care about human needs. No matter what she wanted or needed, she could not have it.
Andrew pulled her in again, and they locked lips. Juliana could taste the male energy pulsing through him, the heaviness of his breath as they locked together and struggled to come apart. When they did the second time, they were both panting. They stared at each other, wide-eyed and eager.
The surrounding area was lost to them, they had their own world now. The tree bark lost its distinction, and the leaves were dull and unworthy of their gaze. The ochre dirt and green vegetation blended into one swirl of color. They only had eyes for each other.
The third time that they came together was in tenderness. Andrew cupped his hands around Juliana’s neck and caressed the skin tenderly. She reciprocated by running her fingers through his hair, feeling every strand as s
he moved through once, twice, three times. Their lips joined together briefly like a butterfly alighting on a flower before fluttering away. As they each pulled back, they smiled intently before returning for another kiss like a bird drinking nectar.
When they came away again, they could not help but smile at each other. That smile turned into a laugh. They clasped hands and flowed with merriment.
“I dinnae know what is supposed tae be so funny,” laughed Andrew.
“Neither do I,” admitted Juliana.
Consumed By The Lost Highlander (Steamy Scottish Historical Romance) Page 17
