Let There Be Life

by Simon Archer

  “Are they new?” I asked Jane. “Because they’d have been helpful during the battle with the hobgoblins.”

  “Yeah, they just came in.” Jane shrugged. “In fact, this entire street is new because we just built the teleportation hub.”

  “Ah.” That made sense. They must have come when the city expanded to deal with the connection to the Hall of Research.

  “So, what do you think of them?” Jane asked when the set had finished, and the girls had vanished back behind the curtain.

  “Not bad, why?” I replied with a shrug.

  “Because those three girls are the best scientists in town.” She smirked. “Would be great to help you out with your research project, among other things.”

  “Well, then,” I said with a laugh, “guess you better introduce me.”

  “That won’t be a problem,” Jane said as she led me toward the bar.

  “So, who’s this tall drink of handsome?” the redhead said as we approached, which was when I realized all three of the girls were now behind the bar. “Haven’t seen you around before.”

  “Oh, I’m Garrett--”

  “He’s the one who saved the town a while back,” Jane added helpfully. “Both of them did, actually.” Jane nodded from me to Queenie.

  “For saving us then,” Jodi said as she mixed up a drink and offered it to the Ant Queen.

  “I only did what my master bade me,” Queenie said as she took the pink concoction and sniffed it, “but I shall accept your gift.”

  “It’s what I call Sweet Minx.” Jodie smirked. “So, how can I help awesome warriors such as yourselves?”

  “Well, actually, I have this giant biology lab,” I pulled out the Research Crystal and activated the feature that made a 3D model of the Hall appear above it in glowing blue light. “And I’m in need of staff who could help me terraform a planet. See, we need life, and I kind of suck at more than basic biology.”

  “Somehow, I don’t doubt that,” Jodie said as her eyes swept over me. “Is this a job offer?”

  “It could be?” I said with a shrug.

  “Well, let’s start over then.” Jodie gave me a wry smile. “I’m Jodie, and let's just say that I can turn anything mechanical into my bitch,” she said before gesturing at her friends. “And these are my pussycats. Melanie is a great geneticist.” She waved a hand at the blonde. “And no one knows geology like Veronica.” She gestured at the dark-skinned brunette.

  “So… you’re Jodie and the pussycats?” I asked, glancing at each of them in turn. “Scientist rockstars?”

  “Yes, we are,” they said clearly pleased with the title.

  “Well, in that case, would you love to have access to a super lab and unlimited funding? I know it’s not this place, but the company is good.” I smirked. “Assuming you like brooding hobgoblins and an evil AI.”

  “Hmm… you drive a hard bargain.” Jodie laughed. “But the chance to help terraform a planet is too huge to pass up.” She glanced at her friends, who all nodded. “Count us in.”

  “It’s a deal,” I said, reaching out to shake their hands, and as I finished, Queenie leaned in close to me.

  “Master,” Queenie whispered as she looked at each of the spandex-clad girls in turn. “I don’t think they’re really cats.” She took a deep breath. “I think those ears are hats.”

  8

  Queenie

  “I do not understand what our liege is doing,” Gobta said as he used his massive swords to cut down the third giant reptilian creature in as many minutes. This one had been at least six meters long, looked to have weighed at least a ton, and had a much larger red frill around its neck than the others. “I thought we were going to return after we recruited the catgirls?”

  As the lizard’s now headless body hit the ground with a splash and began spilling bright purple blood into the muddy water, I couldn’t help but agree with the Hobgoblin King though.

  After escorting Jodi and her not pussycats back to the Research Hall, we’d come to a swamp Jane had told us about to search for things they needed and had been standing in this brightly colored swamp for what felt like forever.

  Though the bright purple plants had initially been somewhat interesting, I was over the smell of sulfur and the stinging insects that buzzed about with no regard to their betters. That said, I was sure master had a good reason to be here since he had been collecting samples from all manner of flora and fauna the entire time we had been here. Even the icky lime green polka dot snakes that lived in the trees and tried to fall on us and smother us with their bulk. Thankfully, they made a delightful crunching sound when you snapped them like a whip.

  “It is not our place to question master,” I said as the four-eyed head of the creature Gobta had slain landed beside my foot. I spared it a contemptuous glance before twitching my antennae and notifying the surrounding ants to begin harvesting its corpse.

  “I’m not questioning him,” Gobta said as though the idea were insane, which of course it was because master was the smartest person I’d ever met. “I just wished I understood why he has been poking around in the mud for the last half a day.” He gestured off-handedly with one sword toward where Garrett was busily scooping swamp mud into one of the many clay pots he had purchased from Jane’s town.

  “You said the same thing when he purchased that chunk of ice from the frozen plains of…” I couldn’t quite remember the name of the place they had said.

  “And that made no sense either.” Gobta crossed his arms over his massive chest. “Honestly, who needs green ice from a glacier?” He snorted. “It was so tainted with slime, it could not even be used for drinking.” He rolled his eyes. “And I’m sure our liege didn’t believe the beaver thing’s claims about its ‘wondrous healing properties.’”

  “Well, I suspect Master won’t be drinking the mud he’s collecting either,” I said with a laugh as another of the giant reptiles swam toward me through the muck. It thought it was stealthy, but even a fool would see its eyes just above the water, and even if I hadn’t noticed it, the dozens of ants and hobgoblins spread across the area would have.

  I whirled as it lunged at me and drove my dagger into one of its six eyes. As the blade sank into the soft flesh of the creature, its own momentum tore a horrific gash across the side of its skull. It hit the ground with a splash and a roar, but as it whirled to lunge at me again, Gobta plunged one of his swords into the base of the creature’s spine, just above its massive, spiked tail and pinned it to the ground.

  “Would you like to do the honors, Queenie?” he asked, and when I shook my head, he used his other sword to rend the thing in two pieces that still thrashed in the water because the creature’s nerves didn’t know it was dead yet.

  “All done!” master said a moment later. He stood up and stoppered the last jug with a smile. “I think it’s time to get out of here, don’t you guys?” He sniffed at the air. “I dunno about you two, but I’m totally ready to be able to think myself clean.”

  “I would very much enjoy being clean again, my liege,” Gobta said with an exaggerated bow. “I have mud in places I didn’t even know I had.”

  “Ditto,” master said with a laugh as he came over and threw his arm around the Hobgoblin King. “Ditto.” He shot a glance at me, and when he smiled, I couldn’t help but feel my face heat up. “How long until we are ready?”

  “The remaining corpses will be harvested within minutes, and we have long since collected the other samples you have asked for and placed them into your inventory,” I said, quite pleased with how fast we had done everything. “If you would like, you may begin heading back to the portal while the ants finish up. It will not take long.”

  “Awesome,” master said right before he summoned a giant scorpion and hopped onto its back. “I’m done with these crocodinosaurs, anyway. Let’s go.”

  Gobta wasted no time in following him and, in the few moments that it took me to tell the ants our plans, had already mounted his own scorpion to follow Ma
ster to the portal. I quickly summoned my own scorpion and moved to follow them even though I wasn’t worried. Gobta would definitely be more than enough to protect master from anything in this swamp, not that master needed protecting.

  Or so I thought.

  Because as I moved through the brush, Gobta’s broken body flew backward and slammed into one of the tall palm trees with a wet thwack that practically bent the Hobgoblin King around the massive trunk.

  As he slumped to the ground beaten and battered, I saw what had done it.

  A boar so large that he rivaled the towering trees around us snorted and pawed at the ground with a boulder-sized hoof. His name was a series of golden question marks, and as I stared at them, I got scared in a way I couldn’t quite explain. It was like staring into the sun and knowing it could devour you without a thought or a care.

  And that creature, that horrible, spike-covered golden boar had its angry, flat predator eyes locked upon my master.

  “No!” I cried, practically throwing myself from my scorpion as my wings beat the air. I whooshed forward as I commanded all of our forces to attack the boar even though I knew it would have no effect.

  Master must have heard me because as the boar turned its hate-filled gaze upon me, he cried out. “Queenie, be careful, it’s a Gate Guardian.”

  The way he said it let me know it was important, though I wasn’t sure why. “It’s here because we’ve overstayed our welcome in this world.” He glared at it. “I mean we were on our way out! Talk about rude.”

  “Then I shall destroy it,” I called as I buzzed forward and attacked it much like those biting, stinging insects had done to me earlier. I smacked into the thick hide behind its front left leg and tried to sink my blade into where its heart would have been. However, instead of finding purchase in its flesh, my blade bounced off its golden hide with a flurry of sparks.

  The movement didn’t go unnoticed, though. The creature tried to bite me. I dodged because it was pitifully slow and then redoubled my attack. This time, as its teeth met empty air, I shot forward with my dagger extended in front of myself while twisting my body like a corkscrew. My dagger hit the ridiculous golden boar in the eye, and I was rewarded with the satisfying squish of metal piercing flesh, right before I was covered in a geyser of eye goo.

  Unfortunately for the creature who had dared to think it could attack my master and get away with it, my momentum carried me forward until my arms were buried up to my shoulders in its body. My spinning body churned what remained of its eye like butter, but I didn’t stop there.

  Oh no. That would be too good for it.

  With a mighty flap of my wings, I surged forward the upper half of my body was in its eye, and I used the new skill I’d purchased.

  Final Sting.

  9

  Before I could so much as blink, Queenie launched herself at the Gate Guardian even though the Gate Guardian’s name was bright red. Unfortunately, despite the fact it looked like she’d scored a critical hit with that dagger to the eye trick, her attack only dropped the creature’s health by ten percent or so.

  Then, as the golden boar let out a high-pitched squeal of rage and pain, the Ant Queen began to glow violently. I watched in confusion as orange light began to spill off her, and as I shielded my eyes from the glare, I saw both of her Health and Aura drop to zero.

  “What the fuck?” I mumbled right before she exploded in a supernova of heat and flame that blew the boar’s head apart in a way that reminded me of the time I’d stuck an M80 in a watermelon and lit the fuse. Charred gobs of flesh, brain, and skull sprayed out across the jungle as the boar’s entire body was flung backward several feet.

  That’s when the horror set in because I realized I was no longer linked to the Ant Queen. Terror filled me as I hurriedly opened her status menu and I can’t quite explain the relief I felt when saw that she’d been put back into Auric Limbo, but was otherwise okay.

  “Thank god,” I mumbled as I quickly opened her skills menu to figure out just what the fuck she’d done. Only, the moment I saw the skill, everything fell into place.

  Apparently, she’d dropped two of her points into a move called Final Sting that took her current Health and Aura, multiplied it by ten (five for each skill point) and then dealt it out at damage. The only rub was that the move killed her.

  And that meant her Final Sting had done over ninety percent of the creature’s health. Granted, it had killed her in the process… but like, okay, let’s be real. That was a non-factor since there weren’t more enemies and I could just resummon her… which was probably why she’d chosen such a move.

  “Well, color me impressed, Queenie,” I said as I calmly walked forward and extended my hand. Then I used Auric Extraction on the boar’s corpse.

  Pattern: Golden Erymanthian Boar has been learned. Would you like to create a Golden Erymanthian Boar? Please note, this is a special monster, and only one can be summoned at any given time. If you would like to summon more, you must defeat more.

  While I barely had the Aura to summon the creature, I decided that I had a better use of my Aura for the moment and quickly brought Queenie back to life.

  “Is it dead, master?” Queenie asked as she popped back out of Auric Limbo still clutching her dagger in a death grip. “I gave it all I had.”

  “Yeah, it’s dead,” I said and gestured at the boar. It was lying in a slowly expanding pool of its own blood. “That was pretty amazing, by the way.”

  “Oh…” Queenie’s cheeks flushed. “It was nothing, master.” She looked at her feet. “I merely converted all of my Aura and Health into damage…”

  “I know how the spell works, Queenie,” I said with a shake of my head as I moved closer to her and took her hands, “but you still sacrificed yourself to save me.”

  “Of course.” She looked at me in confusion. “You are my master. My life would be meaningless without you.”

  “And it doesn’t hurt that he can bring you back if you blow yourself up,” Gobta said from where he was crouched beside the boar with a contemplative look on his face. “I’ve had many a minion do as you did, but none could be recalled from that.” Then he made an exploding noise and whipped his arms out. “Kaboom.”

  “I didn’t think about that,” Queenie said with a strange, far-off look, and crazily enough, I believed her. “I just knew that I had to save master, and that meant I had to use my strongest attack.”

  “Well,” I said as I rubbed the back of my neck, “I appreciate it. So thank you.”

  “You’re most welcome, master,” Queenie replied before turning her attention to the corpse. “Shall I have the ants begin harvesting its corpse?”

  “No,” Gobta said before I could give the okay. When I turned to look at him, I saw he was back on his feet.

  “It is not your place to speak for master, hobgoblin.” Queenie glared at the Hobgoblin King as he approached. “My question was addressed to our glorious master.”

  “Apologies,” Gobta replied in a not at all apologetic voice, “But I have an idea I’d like to try. If it doesn’t work, then you can try the harvesting.”

  “Oh?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “What’s your idea?”

  “Why,” he said with a twisted gleam in his eye. “Necromancy.” Then he began to cackle. Seriously.

  “Does he have to laugh like that?” Queenie asked me, and since I wasn’t actually sure, I just shrugged.

  “What sort of necromancy?” I asked to which I received several seconds more cackling.

  “The best kind!” He grinned. “Raising the dead, of course.”

  “But I already extracted its pattern,” I said as I thought about what he said.

  “I don’t deal in patterns.” Gobta grinned at me. “I deal in dead bodies, and ever since I ranked up, I’ve gotten some new skills.” He clapped his hands. “Can you imagine it? Us riding out into battle, both astride a noble beast.”

  “One of them festering and full of maggots…” Queenie added under he
r breath.

  “Try it,” I said because, admittedly, his greed was catching. Having two boars would be awesome, even if one of them was slightly past its sell-by date.

  “Yes!” Gobta said as he pumped his fist. “You will not regret this.”

  “I already regret this,” Queenie said with a sigh.

  The Hobgoblin King wasn’t listening though because he was too busy drawing symbols in the ground with the tip of his sword, Sparkle. It took a while, mostly because the boar was huge, but when he was done, the massive creature lay in a huge pentagram decorated with a variety of geometric symbols.

  “Is that it?” I asked when he stood back and surveyed his work a few minutes later.

  “Yes, now we just need a sacrifice,” Gobta said, and then before I could ask him what he was sacrificing, he leapt sideways and plunged his hand into a bush. A moment later, he pulled out a wriggling, snarling bat-like rodent. Then, without so much as a word, he bit off the creature’s head and spat it on the boar.

  “Oh, dark gods of Urmiya, hear my call!” he cried as he raised the headless corpse of the bat-thing into the air and began using it to spray blood onto the boar’s body. “Grant me the power to twist the veil, to pull this one back from the brink and make it rise once more!”

  At first, it seemed like nothing happened, but then, there was a lightning crack in the cloudless sky, and the earth beneath our feet began to shake.

  Which was when the boar burst into flames.

  “Um… how are we supposed to harvest that?” I asked as I watched it slowly burn to ash. “Because it didn’t seem like it worked.”

  “I don’t know, my liege--”

  Gobta’s words were cut off by a series of lightning cracks that struck the remains of the barbequed boar. And then, before I could say “pigs in a blanket,” a piercing snort filled the air as the creature stood up. Its body was as good as new, and it looked right at Gobta with piercing milky white eyes.