Let There Be Life

by Simon Archer

  “Guess you get to live another day, fish,” I said. Or I would have said that if another Sharktopus hadn’t swallowed me whole.

  And let me just say, I totally tanked it.

  27

  “You should have seen the other guy,” Gobta said after I resurrected him following his untimely death at the hands of a creature that looked like a megalodon had been fused to a giant kraken. “I had him right where I wanted him.”

  “I believe you,” I lied as I sat down on the mat to think about what I’d seen through Gobta’s eyes. Those creatures were big. Really, really big, and given the Amorphie’s level of technology, going after them was suicide. That said, there had never been a problem that couldn’t be solved by grit and money. With the wealth of an entire solar system behind me, I had more than enough of both.

  “I do not think that you do believe me,” Gobta said as he eyed me closely. “Should I go back down there and slay the Sharktopus?”

  “Not at this time,” I said with a sigh. “I have a bit more work to do first.” I smiled at him. “However, I want you to try something else in the meantime.”

  “What is that, my liege?”

  “I want you to take some hobgoblins and the Spiguars and go around and see what other life lives topside.” I gestured at the sea trees around us. “Maybe it will be easier to hunt up there then it is down there.” I frowned at the water.

  “The Spiguars are made of poison,” he replied very carefully. “And if what the Amorphie said is true, everything else is too.” He bared his teeth. “It sounds like fun. I will take care of it.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “Oh, and before I forget, if you kill anything I haven’t seen, bring me back its corpse so I can learn the pattern.”

  “Of course, my liege,” he replied with an understanding nod.

  After I watched him go, I took a quick moment to silence incoming messages regarding the kills of him and his unit, so I wouldn’t be inundated with them while he hunted. There was a downside to that, of course, since I wouldn’t receive the experience for those kills until he either returned to my side or I turned them back on. It wasn’t really a big deal because, well, as I said, I could always turn them back on if I needed the experience.

  That done, I pulled out the linking crystal to the Bazaar and opened it so I could call Jane.

  “To what do I owe the honor?” the buxom slime girl said when her hologram appeared in front of me a few moments later. “And where are you?” She crinkled her nose. “Looks wet.”

  “It is wet,” I said with a laugh. “And I actually want to hire someone.”

  “Someone through the guild?” She waggled her eyebrows. “You know, if you joined us, it would be much cheaper… I could drop the ten percent guild surcharge and the finder’s fee…” She pulled out a calculator and bit her lip as she began to punch in numbers. “You’d save over fifty-seven percent on a three-year contract.” She smiled brightly at me. “How does that sound?”

  “I’m gonna have to pass for now,” I said as I rubbed the back of my neck. “Especially since I haven’t told you who I want to hire.”

  “Pfft.” She waved a hand. “That’s a general fifty-seven percent over the lifetime of all hires.” She grinned evilly. “I haven’t even gotten to specifics.” She looked downright predatory. “So, Garrett, who do you want to hire?”

  “I need someone who can fish.” And then before she could say more, I continued. “For big stuff. Like krakens and leviathans. A real Jason Statham type.”

  “Oh, I have just the guy, but he’s rather expensive.” She began tapping at her calculator. “Remember that pixie you guys hired?”

  “Yes, how could I forget?” I grumbled.

  “This will cost at least three times that.” She said it deadpan and straight-faced, which made me think it either wasn’t a joke or that she had a future in British comedy.

  “That’s without the discount?” I offered hopefully.

  “Oh, heavens no, honey.” She made a pssha gesture with her hand. “You still don’t want to join? I could add a complimentary mint.”

  “You know, if you really wanted me to join, you’d give me a great deal so that I’d strongly consider joining…”

  “Well, if you’re not interested, you can try someone else...” Jane smiled. “If you don’t want him, I’m good.” She shrugged.

  “You drive a hard bargain,” I said with a sigh as I watched the wealth of my system begin to vanish under contracts with the guild. Part of me wanted to join just for the discounts, but I also knew that one day I’d have to make my own guild. That would be demonstrably harder in the long run if I joined the Adventurers’ Guild on the Bazaar world.

  “My mother always told me, ‘Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free?’” She grinned. “I’ll send over the contract.”

  There was a ping, and I got a notification that said I agreed to hire a Legendary Guild Fisherman at a price that was truly astronomical with two terms: month-to-month and a three-year term.

  “We’ll do month to month,” I said as I accepted the terms and sent it back. “After all, if it works out, the Amorphie can take over his contract. If not, well, he can go back from whence he came.”

  “Sounds good,” Jane replied with a smile. “It was a pleasure fleecing you today. Think about joining, okay?” She winked. “He’ll be over in a minute.”

  “Thanks, Jane.” I smiled back at her. “You’re a doll.”

  “It’s really no trouble. I am quite fond of money.” She winked. “Oh, and don’t be a stranger, Garrett. If you wanna come by, I could definitely make it worth your while.” She licked her lips in a way that sent a shiver down my spine. “If you’re catching what I’m throwing.” She leaned in closer and covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m talking about sex.”

  “I’ll definitely swing by as soon as I’m done here,” I said as I tried to keep the memories of my time with the slime girl from causing every last bit of blood in my brain to rush downward.

  “I’ll expect you to do just that.” Then she was gone, but I was only alone for a moment because there was a ping on the crystal.

  A traveler from the Bazaar wishes to come to your location. Do you accept? Yes or no?

  Please be aware that all fees and taxes will apply.

  “I accept,” I said even though the bastard had basically called collect. Still, it was just money, and what was the point of money if you didn’t spend it on cool shit?

  Confirmed. Transmission will begin shortly.

  There was a whir and a beep as the crystal began to vibrate, and then a tear of space and time appeared in front of me. Frothy pink and gold light spilled forth as a tanned, leather-faced man with a beard that could rival even the greatest Viking stepped through the void and onto the reed mat.

  “Hello, Captain,” I said as I held out my hand.

  He looked at me for a moment before coming forward, and that was when I realized the man only had one leg because the other had been replaced by a peg-leg made of what looked like bleached white whalebone.

  “You must be Garrett,” he growled in a gravelly voice that was likely due to the pipe stuck between his lips. He took my hand in a firm grip and shook it. “Call me Ishmael.”

  “Will do,” I said as I smiled at the man. “So, I hired you because we have a big problem.” I gestured at the sea. “The things that live down there are ginormous predators, and we need to find a way to fish them up.”

  “Son,” Ishmael said as he looked over the waves with a sense of understanding I could only one day hope to attain. “Do you know how I lost my leg?”

  When I shook my head, he nodded and continued, “There I was in the water surrounded by the remains of six boats that had been destroyed by the biggest bastard of a fish that had ever been seen. I gripped my six-inch blade,” he patted his leg where there was, in fact, a knife strapped there, “and readied myself for an attack. Then as the bastard came up beneath me and took my leg in one bite of his
sickle-like jaws, I struck. See, I knew once that bastard got a taste of me, he’d want more, and I was right. So, as he opened wide to take the rest of me, I dove straight down into his mouth and stabbed him in the heart with all the fury of hell!” He stared right at me. “Then I carved the bastard up and made me a new leg from his corpse.”

  Ishmael gestured out at the sea. “So, yes, if you’re willing to give it your all, and remember to always stab things with all the fury you can muster, I can and will help you cleanse the sea of anything you like.”

  I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It seemed a bit insane, but I’ll admit, as I saw the fire in his eyes, I couldn’t help but believe him.

  “Sounds good,” I replied. “How about I show you the footage my team gathered earlier, and we can go from there? I’m sure you’ll need more supplies.”

  “Aye, that we will,” he growled with a hearty laugh that made me think I was about to become very, very poor. “I hope you have deep pockets.”

  28

  “I’m surprised you didn’t want more stuff,” I said as I looked at what Ishmael had purchased from the bazaar. There were two small wooden rowboats, a few fishing poles with line thick enough to reel in a whale, assorted hooks, and a dozen or so harpoons and gaffs, but not much else. “I mean, you saw what’s down there. They can probably swallow one of those boats whole.”

  “They could if we were going that deep, laddie,” Ishmael agreed. “But consider this.” He pointed at the pair of boats that were tied to the mat beside us. “How many Amorphie know how to use any of this equipment, much less run a larger boat?”

  “Um… none,” I agreed. “They probably don’t even know how to use a fishing pole.”

  “Exactly.” Ishmael sucked hard on his pipe for a moment before blowing out a cloud of smoke. “So, I mean to teach the fishermen from the ground up, unless, of course, you wish to blow a whole mess of coin on a big boat and the men to crew it. Then we could sail out there and still be eaten.” He shrugged.

  “I’d rather not do that, no,” I said with a laugh. “But is this really enough? Those are, like, three-person boats, and if I recall, we have almost a hundred able-bodied Amorphie fishermen.”

  “How about you let me handle this part of it, and then when I need more money, I call you?” Ishmael asked. “Unless, of course, your Fishing skill is level three-hundred-seventeen.” He tapped his chest with his pipe. “Because that’s what mine is.”

  “You know what, that’s a fair point.” I smiled at him. “I’ll send the Amorphie down.”

  “I knew I liked you.” The old man ruffled my hair. “You’re one of those smart ones.”

  “Thanks,” I replied as I shot Gobta a mental note to have Hudson send the fishermen back down so Ishmael could properly train them. “They’ll be here in a minute. Mind if I stay and learn a thing or two?”

  “If you would like.” Ishmael shrugged. “You’re the boss after all--”

  “Master,” Queenie’s voice said over the link. “We have finished with the baskets and are ready to deploy them now. Zemia would like you to come in case there is trouble. I have assured her that I am more than capable of fending off any and all comers, but she is being rather insistent. I even tried to pull rank by saying that I was a Queen and she was merely a princess, but she pointed out we were on her planet, not mine, and as that is a good point, I decided to just relay her request to you.”

  “It’s not a problem, Queenie. I’ll be right there,” I told her over the link before turning my attention back to Ishmael. “Sorry, I’ve just been informed that my presence is required elsewhere.”

  “Darn.” Ishmael sighed over-dramatically. “And here I was hoping I’d have you here the whole time I tried to work.”

  “Yeah, well, you got lucky this time, but I still want to learn at some point,” I insisted as I made my way toward the elevator. I arrived just as the first group of fishermen came down. “So expect it to happen.”

  “I shall cherish the possibility,” Ishmael said before turning his attention to the six Amorphie that stepped off the elevator. “You lot, come here so I can tell you how to rig a pole.”

  Leaving them to it, I got on the elevator and made my way back up to the town. Then I pushed my way past all the Amorphie fishermen who were waiting in line to go down before heading toward Queenie and Zemia.

  It didn’t take me long to find them since they were in the center of town. It looked like they had made several rather large baskets as well as what seemed like a mile of rope.

  “Thank goodness you’re here,” Zemia said as she came up to me and wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace. That caused the crowd to begin talking among themselves, and if my time around paparazzi back on Earth had taught me anything, we were about to be the talk of the town.

  “It’s nice to see you too, Zemia,” I said as she released me. “Queenie said you guys were ready to test things?”

  “Yes.” Zemia nodded sharply. “The villagers have gathered up all the seeds we could find and have put them in the baskets.” She indicated the trash-can-sized baskets full of seeds with a wave of one hand. “And we should have enough rope to lower them down to the ocean floor.”

  “So, let’s get to it?” I offered.

  “Well, there is a problem.” Zemia bit her lip before looking nervously at Queenie who merely looked annoyed. “I am worried that when we go outside the walls and lower these, we will attract beasts both in the water and above. And with all the hunters out with Gobta and the fishermen down on the mats… I worry we may all be destroyed.”

  “And you worry for naught, princess,” Queenie growled. “Because I am more than capable of keeping you safe.”

  “It’s not a problem,” I said as the gathered Amorphie picked up the baskets. “Where are we heading?”

  “I want to take them out to the east side of the village,” Zemia explained. “Hudson told me there used to be mats there, so even though the mats there were destroyed, it still has a working elevator system. We can use that to lower the baskets down to the water and then tie them off.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” I said as I turned to Queenie. “Can you summon us some guards just in case? After all, everything here does seem dangerous, and while I’m sure you and I will be more than enough to take care of everything, there’s no reason to take unnecessary risks.”

  “I will summon an assortment of creatures then,” she said before stopping. “Um… master, if you wish me to do that, you will need to tell Gobta to unsummon some creatures.”

  “What?” I asked, and as I went to check, I saw that Gobta had, in fact, used up my entire quota of minions. There had probably been a notification about it, but since I’d silenced them, I hadn’t gotten it, and the bastard hadn’t bothered to say anything. “Well, that’s a pickle. Do you think he really needs all of them?”

  “I’m not sure,” Queenie rubbed her chin, “but here is what I think happened. He probably went out there with minimal men and tried to be a badass. Then he nearly died and said ‘Fuck it, let’s go big or go home,’ and then he summoned everything so he could just slash and burn everything in his path.”

  “That sounds exactly like what probably happened,” I said with a sigh as I reached out to the Hobgoblin King.

  “Busy. Fighting.” Was the only response I got before silence filled my ears, and while I could have pushed the issue, I didn’t see the point because a quick glance through his eyes showed me that he was surrounded by some kind of tree monsters that reminded me of the Ents from Lord of the Rings, only made from seaweed. Still, curiosity was killing me, so I took a moment to switch on his notifications.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Spiguar.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Spiguar.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Spiguar.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Spiguar.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Spiguar.


  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Spiguar.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Gnarl Tree Mother.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Gnarl Tree Offspring.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Gnarl Tree Offspring.

  You have leveled up. You gain three stat points and one skill point to distribute.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Gnarl Tree Offspring.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Gnarl Tree Guard.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Gnarl Tree Offspring.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Gnarl Tree Offspring.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Gnarl Tree Guard.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Gnarl Tree Guard.

  Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Gnarl Tree Guard.

  You have leveled up. You gain three stat points and one skill point to distribute.

  It continued on like that for a long, long while with the level up message mixed in occasionally.

  “Well, that was an easy six levels,” I said when I’d finished reading everything and returned his messages back to silent. I’d had half a mind to leave them on, but even in the thirty seconds it took me to read through them all, I’d gotten a dozen more, and besides, getting levels all at once was way more fun.

  I quickly distributed my stat points by dropping three into Strength, Agility, Fortitude, and Intelligence, and six into Charisma. Satisfied that my relationship with the Amorphie had again increased thanks to my Charisma modifier, I put my four of my Skill Points into Auric Extraction and two into Auric Infusion.

  “Okay,” I said when I was done. “Give me a second.” I used my new capacity for monsters to summon up several minions before Gobta could. The best part was when he growled into my ear about it.