by Simon Archer
I was Garrett fucking Andrews, chosen by the goddess Rhapsody to defeat the Devourer himself. How was I going to do that if I couldn’t reel in a fucking fish?
Sure, maybe that wasn’t exactly a rational thought, but it stuck with me all the same. I knew where that road would lead. To self-doubt. Then to the Dark Side.
“Fuck that,” I snarled, and this time, instead of fixing the line and pole with Aura, I sent all my remaining Aura into it at once. I wasn’t quite sure what I’d hoped to gain exactly beyond wanting to punch that stupid fish in the face, but I sure as hell didn’t expect the water to erupt in a geyser of force that reverberated through the ocean and up into my stomach. The force threw Ishmael backward, and as he landed on his ass a few feet behind me, I sucked in a ragged breath a moment before the line in my hands went limp, and the pole stopped bending.
Horror filled me as I gave the pole a tentative reel, and that’s when I realized something. There was still something on it.
As my chest heaved from effort, I saw a message I’d never expected.
You have learned the Subskill: Auric Fishing.
“No way,” I mumbled as I opened the help menu and looked up my new skill. Auric Fishing did almost exactly what Auric Smash did in that it let me direct Aura into a specific attack, only this would allow me to direct Aura into my fishing rod to stun the fish it had hooked.
“What the fuck?” I mumbled as I thought over the implications of Auric Fishing. If I leveled it up, I might be able to catch fish a lot stronger than I’d have otherwise been able to given my fishing skill.
“Don’t give up now,” Ishmael said, and I saw that he was next to me looking down into the water. When I followed his gaze, I realized I could see the black shape of the fish in the water.
“I won’t,” I said and began to reel more earnestly.
“You almost got it!” Ishmael called, and when I looked over, I saw him lying on his belly on the edge of the mat with a large net in his hands. Then, as the black shape started to break the surface, he scooped it up with the net and pulled it from the water. Only, it didn’t struggle like a fish out of water normally did.
Its sleek back body lay limp in the net, and as I stared at it, I started to wonder if I’d somehow killed it.
“I think whatever you did knocked it unconscious,” Ishmael said as he reached a pair of fingers into the creature’s gills and pulled it out of the net. Then he moved his hand like he was weighing the beast. “This one’s definitely a keeper.” He slapped me on the back. “Not bad for your first one.”
“Thanks,” I said as I stared at the fish.
“Don’t thank me yet.” The old seaman grinned. “You still need to clean it.”
A little while later, I’d managed to level up my fishing skill to level three, thanks to Auric Fishing. Better still, while I’d been busy with Ishmael, the diplomats we’d sent to the other three local tribes, Ameliate, Krawnfih, and Feiefe reported that their talks had gone surprisingly well, and we suspected several of the tribes would wind up moving here. After all, the ones that had come were quickly won over by sea-tree-battered fish and pancakes.
“Just to be clear,” I said as I checked the food and water reserves. “Everyone is back inside the town?”
“Yes,” Gobta said as he walked with me around the perimeter we’d had the princesses erect around us. “And I have trained the archers and pikemen as you required.” He gestured at a pair of Amorphie that stood at attention beside what we’d dubbed the “main entrance.” “They are not as good as my hobgoblins, but the archers can definitely take down a Spiguar before it reaches the perimeter.” He shrugged. “If something does get through, the pikemen can handle it.”
“You’ve done well,” I said as I glanced at the closest Amorphie, and thanks to my high level of reputation with Zorak (Revered), I could tell he was level thirty. “Considering most of these guys were level five or less and now the lowest level one is thirty.”
“It took a lot of threats.” Gobta sighed. “But, in the end, I only had to turn one into a zombie to get the others to fall into line.” He shrugged before I could ask him more. “Anyway, they will be more than adequate to stand guard while we are gone.” He paused. “Are you sure you do not wish to come?”
“I do want to come,” I said as we finished our rounds and headed back toward the village square where Queenie, Hudson, and the others waited anxiously. “But if something happens, I need to be here to defend Zorak.”
“Nothing will come.” Gobta paused and looked at me. “But I think you should stay, anyway. After all, if you are killed, I die.”
“Glad to know where your priorities are,” I said with a laugh.
“Were our positions switched, you would feel the same way.” He shrugged.
“I suppose you’re right,” I hedged, “but at the same time, how am I supposed to get the pattern for a Sharktopus if I’m here?”
“I will bring one back to you.” Gobta smiled. “Trust me. The briny deep and I have a score to settle.”
“That I can believe.” I smirked as we neared the others. “Let’s hope everything goes well.”
“It will.” Gobta smacked his chest with his fist. “After all, I will be there.”
I was inclined to agree, and not just because the hobgoblin was going. The plan was pretty simple, after all. Everyone would remain inside Zorak just in case something happened, including Ishmael and the fishermen (we might need their advice, after all) while Queenie and Gobta swam down there with about thirty King Fishers.
Then, once they were there, Gobta would work on securing the entrance to the mine while Queenie and her ants went to work on it.
“All preparations are complete, Master,” Queenie said proudly. “The King Fishers are assembled just below the mats. We can leave as soon as you give the word.”
“Perfect.” I gave her a hug and a kiss. “I look forward to your triumphant return.”
“What about my hug and kiss?” Gobta asked as I stepped back from Queenie.
“Do you want one?” I raised an eyebrow at the Hobgoblin.
“I would like your affection, yes.” He stepped closer to me like he was going to hug me, but then, at the last moment, he socked me in the shoulder. “Psyche.” Then he spun on his heel and dashed off in the direction of the elevator that led to the mats.
“Okay… is it me or is he a bit loopy?” I asked no one in particular.
“Gobta is an interesting person, that is for sure,” Zemia said with a laugh. “But he means well and clearly is fond of you.”
“Yeah, well, he likes being alive.” I smirked. “Can’t say I blame him.”
“I think you underestimate Gobta’s affection,” Jodie said, which was surprising, and when I turned to look at her, she smirked. “I mean, I don’t think he wants to drop trou and bone you, but I think he cares for you more than he lets on.”
“I agree.” Elephelie smiled brightly. “Gobta really likes you. After all, he always declines my pancakes though he likes them very much, and do you know why?”
“Because he is a fool,” Queenie muttered as she licked her lips longingly.
“No, it is because he knows Garrett likes them. He gives his entire share to you.” Elephelie’s cheeks turned bright green, and she clapped her hands over her mouth. “Oh, no! I wasn’t supposed to tell you.”
“It’s alright,” I said as I processed that. “Remind me to get Gobta something special when this is over.”
“Master,” Queenie said hesitantly. “Would you like my pancakes as well?” Then she looked at the floor, her lips quivering in fear.
“No, it’s fine,” I said with a laugh. “You eat your pancakes.”
“Thank the gods,” the Ant Queen said with visible relief. “I would have given them to you though because you’re my master and I love you beyond all words.”
“I know, but really, please, no one has to give me their pancakes.”
“I wasn’t going to give you mine, an
yway.” Jodie shook her head. “That’s, like, the only upside to being on this stupid planet.” She stuck out her tongue. “I mean, can you imagine? A planet full of fish, and they all taste like ass.”
“And on that happy note,” I clapped my hands, “let’s roll out.”
33
Queenie
“Squidertonling!” Gobta yelled, and I turned my head toward him in time to see the giant pink squid-like creature snatch him off his King Fisher like he was a very small child’s plaything.
And then it stuck tentacles where tentacles should not have been. Admittedly, the sight made me briefly wonder what it would be like if master had tentacles, but now was not the time or place to indulge such fantasies.
Instead, I readied my army of King Fishers to attack the giant tentacled-beast. They struck like a pack of ravenous wolves, snaking in to take bites out of the Squidertonling’s fleshy tentacles. It almost wasn’t a fair fight because, thanks to our ceaseless patrols around the town of Zorak, the King Fishers were all significantly higher level than the Squidertonling.
The only problem was the creature’s massive health pool. Even with my army attacking it, I knew that it would tear Gobta to shreds long before we finished it.
“Not on my watch, squid!” Gobta screamed as the creature brought him closer to its gaping jaws. Then he slammed his forehead into the Squidertonling’s gnashing beak. There was a resounding crack as the creature seemed to stumble backward despite being much, much larger than the hobgoblin. Then again, Gobta was much higher level.
The next hobgoblin headbutt punched a hole straight through where the Squidertonling’s mouth would have been, and as it spasmed in death, Gobta began to laugh maniacally.
“Rise!” he snarled, and the creature twitched before returning to unlife at the hands of its new monster.
Then as it released its hold on him and daintily set him back on his mount. My King Fishers immediately stopped attacking.
“Man, this never gets old,” Gobta said as he looked over at me, a huge grin on his face. “Imagine how awesome we’ll be with a Squidertonling by our side.”
“Hopefully this one lasts longer--”
There was a loud crunch as a huge white whale-like beast with spear-sized teeth made short work of the Squidertonling before swimming off into the briny deep.
“Nevermind,” I said as Gobta began to pout. It was understandable, though. Every time he reanimated a corpse, it seemed to get eaten within minutes despite his undead aura thingy that supposedly made them taste bad. “Maybe you stop wasting Aura on that?”
“No!” He shook his head violently. “Firstly, you don’t tell me what to do, Ant Queen. Secondly, it will eventually work. I just need a bigger corpse. Something so large it cannot be eaten in a single bite.”
“Or we can just focus on the mission,” I said as I shut my eyes for a second and focused on the Sense ability granted to me by Scout. I almost would have felt bad for the tiny ant since he was tied to the King Fisher directly behind me, but he was an ant, and I was his queen. His feelings meant little to me.
A moment later, the cave we sought appeared in my mind’s eye. Though we had been traveling relatively quickly for a good long while, we were still many kilometers away. Part of the problem was we’d had to avoid the larger predators. Originally, we had taken some of them down and then reanimated them, but that soon proved fruitless.
The more fighting we did, the more came, and like always, the corpses were often broken and bloody from battle. Therefore, they did not last long in these predator infested waters.
“There’s something big ahead,” Gobta said, and his words over the link made me lose focus on the cave. The immediate scenery swept back into view, and as it did, I saw that the white whale had returned and was gaining on us with furious speed.
“I’ll send off a contingent of King Fishers,” I said before willing a pair of the creatures to break off and head in the opposite direction. Thus far, such a tactic had worked well because the predators were at least smart enough to recognize that a pair of King Fishers would be a lot easier to eat than our massive swarm.
“It’s not working,” Gobta said even though that was obvious because the whale swam right by the two King Fishers as it headed straight for us. “Maybe they’re not big enough for it to care?”
“That is likely,” I agreed. I considered trying to outrun it, but even though it was still rather far, I knew we were not faster than it. Eventually, this would become a fight, and since it was both huge and had an orange nameplate, I was worried that we would not all survive it.
“What should we do?” Gobta asked as he pulled his swords free. It would have been brave if it were not so woefully inadequate.
“I could blow it up,” I offered, even though that was a stupid plan. If I killed myself to take it out, master would only be able to resummon me at his position, many kilometers away. Worse, unlike me, Gobta did not have the ability to summon or control anything other than Hobgoblins. While he could potentially finish the mission given those handicaps, I sincerely doubted it.
“No.” Gobta shook his head. “I think you should push on ahead. I’ll deal with it.” Then, before I could tell him that was a stupid plan, he spun on his King Fisher and swam right at the whale.
Like what had happened with the pair I’d sent at the creature earlier, the whale ignored him. That was when I realized this was exactly what the Hobgoblin wanted. He managed to get right up to the whale and stabbed it in the side with his swords before it even noticed him.
The whale bucked as blood streamed from the wound, but Gobta didn’t stop there. The Hobgoblin King clambered over the thrashing whale, gouging wounds out of its hide. While the slashes seemed mostly superficial, they seemed to bleed a lot.
And that’s when I saw the Sharktopus. I had believed Gobta when he’d said it was large, but it was one thing to watch the memory and another to see one of the creatures in the flesh. It came out of nowhere and slammed into the whale with enough force that Gobta was thrown sideways into the water like a rag doll. Crazier still was that the massive whale had nearly been bitten in half by the Sharktopus’s massive serrated jaws.
Bloody bits of whale floated about in the water in the space of time before tree-sized tentacles whipped out in a frenzy and grabbed hold of the broken creature and hauled it into its ravenous maw. The sound of the first bite was disgusting even from here.
“Come on! It will turn on us next if we’re still here when it's done with its meal,” I cried as I made the King Fishers swim for all they were worth. It was almost laughable really because we were but minnows compared to the sheer mass of the Sharktopus.
“A Hobgoblin King never runs!” Gobta screamed as he grabbed onto his King Fisher by the fin and then headed toward the Sharktopus.
“You’re going the wrong way!” I snapped. “Think about the mission.”
“I am!” he replied and then he hit the Sharktopus in the side like an exceptionally tiny flea attacking a direbear. Then he did something quite un-flea-like. He began to draw an intricate set of symbols on the creature with glowing green necromantic energy.
“Gobta, what are you doing?” I asked as he began to cackle maniacally while the symbols glowed brighter and brighter.
“Watch and learn, Ant Queen,” was his only reply before he smacked his right palm into the flesh of the Sharktopus, which did not even deign to notice him because it was too busy eating the whale it had bitten in half. Then he raised his other hand high into the air. “Kali Ma Shakti de!”
There was a flash of sickly green light as the symbols lit up like miniature stars. Then, somehow, his right arm sank up to his elbow into the Sharktopus’s flesh while emerald sparks danced across the creature’s suddenly seizing body.
“Kali Ma!” the Hobgoblin King repeated as he drew back his right arm, and as he did, I realized he was holding a rather large pulsating organ that, surprisingly, seemed to be free of blood. Not only that, but the wound whe
re he’d struck the creature seemed to fill in with decaying black flesh.
“Did you just tear out its still-beating heart?” I asked, eyes wide with shock as the Sharktopus began to slide into shuddering death.
“I did.” He grinned at me as he tossed the now useless heart over his shoulder before fixing his gaze on the totally dead Sharktopus. “Rise.”
“Holy shit!” master’s glorious voice exclaimed over the link. “What did you guys just do? I just got a level and a half.”
“I ripped the still-beating heart from a Sharktopus and then resurrected it as my undead servant,” Gobta replied a little too smugly for my liking.
“You did what?” master replied, clearly confused, and then, a moment later, I felt him looking through my eyes. “How the fuck did you manage that? A Sharktopus is, like, twenty levels higher than you.”
“Through the power of Kali’s dark arts,” the Hobgoblin King replied with an evil laugh. “Since we’ve been leveling so much, I put a bunch of points into Rituals, and they gave me an added modifier to my death magic. I combined those together to create this ritual based on a story Hudson told me. Did you know there’s an ancient Amorphie called the Heart Ripper?”
“The Heart Ripper?” There was a brief pause, and I felt master’s vision separate from my own. “Oh wow, Elephelie says you’re right. Evidently, there are legends of him being sealed away because he was too powerful. He consolidated his power by ripping out the hearts of his victims and offering them to the gods Aztec-style in order to gain immortality.”
“And if that doesn’t sound like necromancer behavior, I don’t know what is,” Gobta said in triumph though I wasn’t sure what he’d won. “And I figured if he could do it, I could as well. Sure enough, it was right there in the skill tree.”
“Well, good job then.” Master laughed, and it was music to my ears, even though his pleasure was directed at the Hobgoblin King. “And you too, Queenie. I’ve been spot-checking, and you are doing a great job.”
