by Simon Archer
“We both know that would not have mattered, Godling.” It smiled at me, which was as creepy as it sounded. “You will have to journey inside me to retrieve it, and while I don't want to hurt you, there are things inside my body that will fight you on instinct.” Organus paused to let that sink in. “It will be very difficult.”
“So a dungeon within a dungeon.” I nodded. “Dungeception.”
“It is strange,” Organus said as he eyed me carefully. “I understand that reference, but only because I have consumed your memories, Godling.” He nodded at me. “You are quite clever.”
“I get that a lot, actually. And yes, it has worked out well for me,” I said as I swam closer to his open mouth. “So, do I just jump in?”
“More or less. I have placed the core’s location into your mind, so once you are inside, you should be able to find it.” He reached out then, and his tentacles very carefully grabbed onto Barnabas, Jodie, and Jane. Then he brought them close enough to me that I could reach out and touch them. “Take them by the hand, and when you are ready, I will eat you.” He nodded to Queenie, Gobta, and the others as if in answer to an unasked question. “You will have to resummon those once you are inside.”
“Thanks,” I said as I gathered my still-stunned friends into an impromptu hug. Time would tell if letting this thing eat me would wind up working out for the best, but for the moment, I was feeling rather confident about my situation. “We’re ready.”
“I bid you good luck, Godling.” Organus’s words reverberated in my skull as he gathered my companions and me up in a tentacle and shoved us into his gullet.
Hitting the void within his maw was a strange sensation that reminded me of the one time I’d went skydiving because it felt like I was falling forever. Sure, there was fear at first, but that soon passed as inky darkness swept by me. Then it was over, and I found myself in the strangest place I’d ever seen, well, ever… and I’d seen weird fucking places lots of times.
Everything around us seemed to be in a constantly shifting state of being, and I watched in confusion as the ground beneath my feet somehow seemed to be a gas, a solid, and a liquid all at the same time, and yet was also none of them. All simultaneously.
And that wasn’t the worst of it because not only was the ground transitioning from foul-smelling goo to ancient Egyptian sandstone to cherry-scented cotton candy in the time it took me to blink, but the colors all changed too. One moment, it was mauve. The next? Bright fuchsia. And then, just to round it out, lime green with neon pink stars that shattered into another kaleidoscope of colors.
“So, where do we go?” Jodie asked as she stared wide-eyed into the swirling void around us. “Because this place is like a bad acid trip.”
“How are you feeling?” I asked as I looked from her to Jane and then to Barnabas. “You guys were stunned for a long time.”
“We were?” Jane gave me a confused look. “The last thing I remember was activating the elevator above the acid.” She looked at the others who nodded in agreement. “Then I was here.”
“So, none of you saw Organus?” Several head shakes answered my question. “The giant squid thing?”
“No,” Barnabas cut in, “And it does not matter either because if we do not hurry, I worry that we might soon be consumed.” He pointed at the ground a few feet away. “Every few moments, the ground in that spot turns from solid stone to completely nonexistent, and the spot seems to be expanding with every pulse.”
“That’s going to make this a bit difficult.” I watched the place he’d indicated, and sure enough, he was right. Worse, I noticed several other spots where that primal chaos seemed to be spreading. “As soon as I summon Queenie and Gobta, let’s get going. Otherwise, this will turn into the world’s worst game of hopscotch pretty quickly.”
They nodded, and a few moments later, I had them resummoned. I’d thought about summoning more creatures like Crabface or Scout, but since every moment I spent regenerating my Aura caused the pulsing voids around us to widen, I didn’t want to risk it.
“Let me lead, my liege,” Gobta said when I’d summoned him from the Auric Pocket. “That way, if I fall to my death, no one dies since I can be resummoned. You all do not have that luxury.” He pulled his twin swords Sparkle and Burningdeath free as he spoke. “Queenie should stay behind so that if one of you falls, she will be able to fly forward and catch you.”
“Good plan,” I said and gestured for the Hobgoblin King to lead the way. “Let’s just tie each other off just in case someone falls.”
Once we had finished knotting ourselves together with some of the rope in my inventory, we were off, and aside from traipsing through some goo that smelled both strangely appetizing and wholly disgusting simultaneously, it wasn’t too hard to pick our way through a path between the pulses. It was strange because while they were erratic, they almost seemed to follow a pattern that made it relatively easy to pick our way through. Or maybe it was my imagination, who the fuck knew?
Either way, I just made sure to pick my steps carefully. Roped together or not, the last thing I wanted was to be waist-deep in a void when it decided it suddenly wanted to be made of stone or bird’s beaks.
“Does anyone hear that?” Barnabas asked as he glanced around. The big Amorphie had the spot nearest to Queenie, while I occupied the one closest to Gobta with Jane and Jodie in the middle.
“The snuffling?” Queenie asked with almost casual indifference. “Yes, I’ve been hearing it for a while, but I cannot sense anything at all so I’m trying very hard to not think about how there might be a gigantic carnivore behind me.”
“I don’t see anything,” I said as I did a quick sweep of the area with Overdrive, “but I’m starting to hear it. Like a dog scrabbling across tile almost.”
“What is that smell?” Jodie asked, her nose twitching in disgust. “Smells like week-old garbage left in the sun.”
“G-Unit!” Gobta cried, and as I swung my gaze back toward the Hobgoblin, he barreled forward and slammed the edge of Burningdeath into a… thing.
The light-grey nameplate above its head was just a series of random symbols, and its body itself was so unidentifiable that I couldn’t rightly describe it except to say that it reminded me of Missingno from the old Pokémon games.
Thankfully, they seemed to be able to take damage because Burningdeath easily cleaved through the creature, spilling viscous goo onto the ground that bubbled and popped before dissolving into grape-jam colored steam.
Your summoned creatures have killed creature: Q?!@#%.
“Good job,” I said as I raised my hand to use Auric Extraction on the creature, only when I did, I sighed. “Damn.”
Target contains no Aura to extract. Spell failed.
“Well, they bleed easily enough,” Gobta said right before six more creatures lunged out of him out of the swirling ground. It was hard to tell if they were the same things or different because their bodies seemed to be in a constant state of flux. Sometimes, they had innumerable tentacles or a dozen mouths full of jagged teeth and other times, a billion sword-tipped claws.
He tried to cut off the head of another creature with Sparkle, which probably would have killed it if its head hadn’t dissolved an instant before and reappeared above its ass. “So, you’re a politician then.” He brought his sword down again and cleaved its ass face down the middle. “That was strangely pleasing.”
“Let’s just push through,” I said as I spun to my left. The closest creature tried to lunge at me from out of the wall, so I buried The Sword of the Destroyer King into its exposed skull. Point of order: That wall hadn’t been there even a moment before.
The Sword of the Destroyer King has encountered a hostile element. Special ability: An Eye for an Eye has been activated. For the duration of this battle, The Sword of the Destroyer King has gained the power of Stability.
I had no idea what that actually did, but as my eyes scanned the message, a white glow exploded from the weapon in my hands, shrouding t
he inside of the void with light that, somehow, seemed to cause things to solidify into a shape. More or less, anyway. Goo became more goo-like while stone became more solid, etc., etc.
The only problem was that my cone of stability-causing light only extended a few feet around me, which wasn’t even enough to enshroud my entire party. Worse, if I moved, the void seemed to speed up its transformations as if to make up for lost time.
“I’m not sure if your weapon is making things better or worse,” Barnabas said as he caved in one of the creature’s skulls with his warhammer, killing it instantly. “The mutations you’re causing are almost too rapid to deal with.”
“I’m noticing that,” I said as I took off the head of another monster, and as it collapsed to the ground, my follow-through caused the entirety of the wall that had been there to stop its transformation from stone into goo somewhere in the middle. The whole thing collapsed into goo-covered rocks under its own weight that splashed foul-smelling ichor over me. “Maybe I just need to get higher up? Then the light will reach farther.” I wiped the goo from my face with the back of one hand.
“Give me a second before you try that,” Jodie said as she used her gun to blast a creature with a bolt of white energy that looked eerily similar to the light given off by my sword. The monster stumbled backward half a step, and as it shook itself like a giant wet dog, I realized it wasn’t changing shape anymore. “There, got the frequency. Now to just amplify it.” Jodie pulled out a blinking green canister the size of a coke can from who knew where, hit a few buttons on its side in rapid succession, and then tossed it to me. “Attach that to the pommel.”
“Okay,” I said as I grabbed the device and quickly hooked it to my sword. Man, oh man, do I wish that I’d been wearing sunglasses because what it did was amplify the light coming off my sword enough to enshroud the area around our party. Instantly, the world around us seemed to settle into a sort of static horror.
Buff: Tech Boost has been applied. Elemental Effects will be increased for three minutes.
And that brought its own set of problems as we moved forward inch by hard-fought inch because to maximize the light, I had to focus on holding up my sword, which meant I couldn’t fight, and since I couldn’t actually use Aura Extraction, I couldn’t rely on using Infusion or summoning other creatures.
“Do not worry, Garrett,” Jane said as she moved to my side, sword in hand. She contorted her body so that she sort of spiraled around me in a protective barrier while being careful not to actually touch me. “Focus on keeping the floor from changing into a pit of death, and I will defend you.”
With that, we moved forward, everyone crowded together beneath my light. All around me, the sounds of combat rang in my ears, but I tried my best not to focus on it as I led us forward through the twisting tunnels toward where Organus had put the core’s location into my mind.
Amazingly, we didn’t die as we moved forward. Sure, it got hairy, and I used what Aura I had to summon a couple Minders to keep us topped up, but for the most part, it was my team’s tenacity that got us to the core. Well, that and my keeping the entire world from spiraling into oblivion.
Even still, by the time we reached the core after what felt like a million monsters but only half a level because they were barely worth any experience, I almost couldn’t believe it when we got to the location Organus had thrust into my mind.
The core’s container wasn’t exactly as I’d have pictured it. Mostly a glowing sapphire coffin of glass in a sea of churning void. I mean, I’d grabbed dungeon cores in Terra Forma before, of course, but everything about the experience had always been different, which was probably because they were based on the dungeon from where they’d come.
That’s when it all made sense. This place was the crazy, shifting, chaotic mess that it was because it was, in essence, a proto-dungeon. An unplanted seed, and so everything in here was in eternal flux, waiting to take on the aspects of the environment the core was planted in.
Jodie’s words brought me out of my thoughts. “Are those supposed to be there? Because I don’t think those pulsing veins are supposed to be there,” the catgirl asked as she blasted another creature with her gun. She must have switched it to ice somewhere along the way because half of it froze like it had been doused with liquid nitrogen. The rest kept moving, of course, basically causing the creature to rip itself apart in its effort to get to her.
“I’m not sure. They’re always different,” I said as I looked at the two pulsing veins that crisscrossed the glass container housing the core. “I don’t care what they do. Cover me.”
Before anyone could even tell me if it was a good idea, I darted forward and slashed through the veins around the container before smashing the glass with the pommel of my sword.
There was a brief silence that was filled only with the sound of crystalline shards raining down on the not ground. Only, I barely noticed that or the way the monsters seemed to redouble their effort to kill us. No, I was only focused on the object within the cage.
So, as the torn veins sprayed me with gunk that smelled of rotten eggs and garlic, I reached into the container and grabbed hold of the core. It was the size of an ostrich egg, looked to be made of solid sapphire, and was covered in symbols I couldn’t even begin to discern.
Not that I had the chance, because as I pulled the core free of its sapphire coffin, the whole world exploded into scintillating shards of blazing light.
41
You have defeated The Amorphie Hidden Dungeon. You have received Dungeon Prize.
You have leveled up. You gain three stat points and one skill point to distribute.
You have leveled up. You gain three stat points and one skill point to distribute.
The return gate has now been opened. You may leave at any time.
Those words were the first thing I saw when I woke up, and it took me a few minutes to parse out what had happened exactly. I still had the Dungeon Core in my hand, and Jodie, Jane, and Barnabas were laying on the ground next to me in various states of unconsciousness, but the dungeon we had been inside was gone. Instead, we were in the entrance to the mine that Queenie and Gobta had come to check for precious materials what felt like eons ago. Only now it was an honest-to-God mine, and if my cursory glance around us was anything to go by, it was rich as hell.
Veins of gold, silver, and other precious metals glittered along the walls, and that said nothing of the gemstones that sparkled in every nook and cranny, and I was level fifty-four now.
“Damn,” I said as my party members started to recover and get to their feet. “Are you guys seeing this?”
“Yeah,” Jane mumbled, still somewhat groggy. “So, let me get this straight. We got absolutely no loot from the dungeon, this place is rich, and I have to mine it for basically free?”
“That is incorrect,” I said as I put the core into my inventory and pulled out the Dungeon Prize. It was a large octagonal box made of bright red paper. “We got this.” I held it out so she could see.
“Oh, well, I’ll just shut up then.” The slime girl smiled as she shifted about in anticipation, and truth be told, she should be excited. Dungeon Prizes had a chance to drop incredible loot that was also user specific for every member in a party as well as a bunch of other random valuables.
“Is that what I think it is?” Jodie asked as she gave a delightful bounce. “I crave shinies.” She stretched her hands toward me. “Gimme.”
“Okay, but before I open this, let’s set some ground rules.” I drummed my fingers on the box and waited.
“Well, what are they?!” Jodie exclaimed furiously.
“I am, likewise, okay with the rules,” Jane said with a nod. “Assuming I get what I was promised.”
“You will,” I replied before looking to Barnabas. “What about you?”
“It is your quest, and you can decide how to divvy up the loot.” He shrugged. “That is how things work.”
“Great.” I smiled at them. “Rule number one
should be obvious: If there is a piece of gear that will benefit someone the most, they can have it free of charge and before splits are taken.”
“That seems fair,” Jane hedged, “but--”
“But what if multiple people need it? Like what if it’s a really pretty amulet that increases Critical Strike or something so Fish Breath over there wants it?” Jodie asked, nearly breathless as she considered all the ways in which she wouldn’t get loot.
“Funny that you should ask,” I said with a laugh. “Because I have a system for that.” I leaned in close. “It’s called DKP.”
“What in gods’ name is DKP?” Barnabas asked as Jane let out a loud sigh.
“You’ve been keeping track?” Jane asked sullenly.
“Of course.” I nodded. “Boss room clears are worth fifty points, and boss kills are worth one hundred points.” I spread my hands. “So, in the event that multiple people want a piece of gear, we can do one of two things. We can roll a die.” I produced a glowing green and white hundred-sided-die I’d purchased in the Bazaar. “Then you guys can have the option to spend DKP to increase your roll. In the event there’s still somehow a tie, we’ll have a roll-off.”
“So, it’s an auction.” Barnabas nodded. “I am fine with this.”
“What happens if we don’t spend DKP?” Jodie asked a bit mirthlessly.
“Well, right now, we all have assorted splits of the treasure based on contracts, but I will reserve the last twenty percent of the treasure to be split according to DKP. We’ll just add everyone’s remaining DKP together and get a percentage before divvying it up accordingly.” I looked at the three of them. “Is that fair?”
“Well, it seems fair,” Jodie pouted, “though I think it’s going to result in me getting less treasure because of math.” She sighed. “And I used to like math. I can’t believe it has betrayed me in this way.”
