Looking for Trouble

by Stacey Lewis

  “I get it, but Marc, fighting isn’t my thing. I was a football player. Just because I use the punching bags and shit in the gym doesn’t mean I’m trained for this kind of thing.” I gesture at the room around us where guys, some of whom make me look small, talk to their trainers and get ready for the fights to begin. I don’t mention the fact that I invited Kat here for the express purpose of hashing things out with her. It would only have Marcus and Liam making jokes at my expense. And honestly, I don’t even know what I’m going to say to her. I know she’s probably freaking out about last night, and I need her to know it wasn’t just a one-night thing for me. I want more than that with her. I just hope she wants that too.

  Liam’s voice grabs my attention. “Your girl just walked in.” My mind immediately goes to Kat, so I go over to where he’s looking out at the crowd.

  “Where?” I ask, not seeing her.

  He points out into the sea of bodies. “Right there.” I still don’t see it, but then he clarifies, “See, Meghan’s standing right in front.”

  I step away. “She’s not my girl.” Hell, she hasn’t even been a friend since the frat party a few weeks ago, the night things started changing between Kat and me.

  Liam scoffs. “Well, if she isn’t yours, you won’t mind if I go talk to her.” He says it like he thinks I’m going to balk, but I honestly don’t care.

  “Do whatever you want, man.” He gives me a look that says he thinks I’m full of shit, so I lay it out for him. “Dude, she’s great in bed, but I never wanted anything more with her. If you want her, have at it. I. Don’t. Care.” I don’t know a way to make it any plainer than that. Meg is a great girl; she’s just not the girl I want.

  Liam holds out a fist for me to bump, then heads out of the room, his chest puffed out in a way he thinks girls find attractive. It usually works for him, so I guess they do. Just one more reason I’ll never understand women. Before Marcus can start back in on his shit, Max comes storming in, frown on his face and looking more pissed than I think I’ve ever seen him. He turns to Marcus and says, “I need to talk to my brother.” Marcus just looks at him, and he grits out, “In private.” Putting his hands up in a placating gesture, Marcus scuttles past Max to go out into the gym area, leaving the two of us in here alone.

  “What the hell are you doing, Clay?” Max explodes. His arm sweeps around the room we’re in, but his eyes never leave mine. “Dad would have your ass if he knew you were here to fight. He wouldn’t even want us here to watch. This shit is illegal, and if we get put in jail, he is not going to bail you out when he finds out you were one of the fighters.”

  I run a hand through my hair and look away. “Fuck Max, it’s not like I wanted to fight tonight. I’ve been telling Marcus since the fall that I’m not interested in being one of his guys.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  My mouth opens, but I close it, unable to tell him the truth. I can’t say “well, I was too busy worrying about Kat and how she felt about last night to pay attention to what Marcus was asking me to do.” He stares at me, eyes narrowed, waiting for an explanation, but I’ve got nothing. Finally, I shrug. “It seemed like a good idea at the time?”

  “Bullshit,” Max shouts, putting his hands on my chest and shoving me backward.

  I’m so surprised by the action I stumble back an extra step before catching myself. “What the fuck, Max?”

  His hands drop to his sides, flexing into a fist before releasing twice. “Don’t fucking lie to me.” I have no idea what he thinks I’m lying to him about, but he’s quick to clue me in. “I saw her this morning.”

  My back stiffens. “Max …” I start, but he cuts me off.

  “No.” He glares up at me, betrayal obvious in his expression. His breathing gets choppy, and for a second, I think he might actually hit me. “I can’t … you fucked Kat! How could you do that to me?”

  Uh … say what now? “How could I do what to you?” I ask slowly, confused at the direction this conversation has taken. “It had nothing to do with you. And, for the record, it’s none of your damn business.”

  “Oh, that’s such bullshit. You fucking Kat had everything to do with me. Goddammit Clay, you knew she had a thing for me, and you just couldn’t handle a girl wanting me more than they wanted you, so you took her away from me. She’s nothing more to you than a piece of ass, a way to show me that no matter what, you’re better than me.”

  When he stops his bitching, Max is breathing heavily, his cheeks ruddy with anger and his nostrils flaring. The only thing I can do is look at him. Is that honestly how he sees me? He’s my brother. Yeah, I give him shit constantly, but if I thought there was actually something between him and Kat, I never would have gone there. He’s been saying all semester that he’s into Sophie, not Kat, but now that I went there he’s all butt-hurt? I don’t get it. “What the hell are you talking about? You didn’t want her, remember? And besides, you have a friggin’ girlfriend. I’m sure Sophie would love to hear you talking about Kat the way you are right now.” It’s a dick move, bringing up the girl, but I’ve got enough conflicting emotions about what went down with Kat last night. I’m not going to let my brother cheapen it.

  “Maybe, if Kat were who you wanted, you would have manned up a long ass time ago, taking what she was offering to you.” I step up to him, so we’re standing toe to toe, the fact that I’m a few inches taller forcing him to look up at me, and push my index finger into his chest. “That’s all on you, pal.” I lean over just a little further to say, “Someone was going to notice her eventually. Not my problem you weren’t prepared for that inevitability.”

  I expect him to shove me back again, or same something dickish, but he doesn’t. His face blanks like a shutter comes over it at the hard truths I’ve given him. Before I can ask if he’s okay, Max turns and leaves the room, slamming the door and leaving me to stare after him, wondering if there was a way I could have said that a little nicer. Screw it. Tough love is necessary at times, and this was one of them. If my brother had asked how I felt about Kat or asked his questions in a way that didn’t make it out like I’m an asshole who only slept with her to one up him, I would have told him just how wrong he is. He’s the one who chose to act like I took away his favorite toy.

  Marcus walks back in not a minute after Max storms out, chest puffed out and smiling smugly. “Tonight’s going to be a good night.”

  “Why?” I ask warily, not taking my eyes off him. I don’t like the tone of his voice or the way he’s basically preening in his suit. It’s the first time I’ve seen him dressed up. Normally, at the gym, he’s wearing sweats or cut off shorts and a wife beater.

  He gestures out to where the crowd is getting louder. It’s packed in here tonight, and the guy you’re fighting is new. He’s never fought before, and no one knows much about him other than that he’s huge. Just his size, the fact that he has at least forty pounds on you has everyone betting on him to win. But, they don’t know you like I do. You’ll beat his ass, if only because people think you can’t.” His smile widens, and the look in his eyes turns calculating. “Plus, you’re pissed. I don’t know how much of it is because you didn’t want to fight tonight, and how much is because of whatever your brother said before he stormed out looking for his own fight,” Marcus looks down at his watch, then claps me on the shoulder. “Let’s go, son. Only ten minutes until your fight.”

  He leaves, not waiting for me to follow. I say a silent prayer I don’t get my ass kicked, but I know he’s right. I don’t ever like to lose, and I’m just angry enough to take out my emotions on the jackass I’m meeting in the ring. I blow out a long breath, shaking out my hands a final time before I come out behind him. My eyes immediately search the room for Kat, seeing her standing at the back with Anna on one side and Max on the other. My hands immediately clench into fists, and I have to force myself to relax them. Our eyes meet, but she breaks the connection right as something flashing in hers. I want to ask what’s wrong, but it will have to w
ait until after the stupid fight. There’s no way I can get to her right now, and even if I could, I don’t have the time to coax it out of her.

  Forty

  The gym is packed when Anna and I walk in, and I don’t see Clay anywhere. Anna, as always, walks in like she’s been here a hundred times, though, completely comfortable in a way that makes me jealous. I wish I had the kind of confidence she does. She’s so confident in who she is, and I’m just not. Guys watch her as she scoots through the crowd, holding my hand, so she doesn’t lose me, finally coming to rest at an open spot against the wall. Turning, she leans back against it, and I do the same. She’s beside a guy who looks like he should be one of the fighters tonight, all tatted up and muscular, while I’m beside a skinny, kinda nerdy looking guy who stares at us like he might pass out if we speak.

  “Where’s your boy?” Anna leans sideways to ask. “I don’t see him or your other boy. Are you sure this is where they’re supposed to be?”

  I roll my eyes. “Do you know of another illegal fight going on tonight? This is the address he texted. I’m sure they’re here somewhere.” After all, while this isn’t a huge building, it’s packed to the gills with people. My eyes continue to search for him, and after a few minutes, I see Liam come out of a room next to the ring where I’m assuming the fight is going to take place. Turning to Anna, I practically shout, “I think he’s in there,” and point toward the door Liam just left. “I’ll be back.” I want to at least let him know I’m here. Plus, we can’t talk about last night with all these people around.

  It’s takes me more than a few minutes to push my way through the crowd, mainly because I hate to be pushy, and that’s what you have to be to get to the front of the room. Everyone automatically thinks you’re trying to take their place, and they don’t like that. I have to say more than once, pointing towards the door, “I’m just trying to get up there,” and even then, most people give me incredulous looks. By the time I make it to the red rope cordoning off the area where the fighters hang out waiting for their turn in the ring I’ve been pushed and elbowed so many times I know I’m going to have bruises tomorrow.

  Luckily, there isn’t anyone up here manning the rope, so I’m able to duck under it and walk over to the room I saw Liam come out of without anyone questioning what I’m doing. When I reach the door, I freeze, hearing Max and Clay arguing. It only takes three words for me to know they are fighting about me. “You fucked Kat.” Max is irate, asking Clay how he could have sex with me, which makes me want to punch him. What … just because he doesn’t want me, no one else should either? How is that fair? Clay says exactly what I would say, telling Max it had nothing to do with him, because duh, it didn’t. Max wasn’t even on my radar last night. Jeez, that’s one of the reasons I was so freaked out this morning. I thought I was head over heels for Max, but then, sleeping with Clay, he never entered my mind. If I truly loved him like I thought I did, I would have felt guilty. Part of the freak out was the fact that I didn’t.

  Thoroughly pissed, I grip the doorknob, ready to give Max a piece of my mind, but his next words stop me in my tracks. “You fucking Kat had everything to do with me. Goddammit Clay, you knew she had a thing for me, and you just couldn’t handle a girl wanting me more than they wanted you, so you took her away from me. She’s nothing more to you than a piece of ass, a way to show me that no matter what, you’re better than me.”

  Suddenly, I feel like I can’t breathe. I wait for Clay to tell him that’s not true, that he cares about me, but when he responds, it’s all about Max and how he didn’t want me. He doesn’t dispute any of his brothers’ claims. That’s when I realize Anna was right. I do have feelings for Clay. Feelings that are a hundred times stronger than any I thought I had for Max. Not only do I have feelings … I’m in love with him. Anna was right, and him not saying he feels the same to his brother makes my heart beat overtime in my chest. The breath I couldn’t find earlier is now back with a vengeance. I’m breathing way too fast, and barely paying attention to the remainder of the conversation. I need to get out of here. I don’t want to see either of them, and I definitely don’t want to speak to Clay now.

  I push my way back through the crowd to where Anna’s still standing, a smirk on her face. “Did you find …” her voice trails off when she gets a good look at me, and she reaches out a hand to pull me closer. “What on earth happened?” Her eyes search my face, and I can feel tears prick the backs of my eyes.

  Shaking my head, I tell her, “I don’t want to talk about it right now. Suffice it to say; you were wrong about Clay and how he feels about me.”

  Anna looks stunned, but she honors my request, saying only, “Okay … but we are absolutely talking about this later. You can’t come over here looking like that and expecting me to just let it go.” I turn away from her, still afraid I’m going to cry and watch Max storm out of the room. Anna’s murmured, “Oh shit,” from beside me makes me laugh, even though it’s the most inappropriate time, but at least I’m not in danger of crying anymore. Her voice in my ear says, “Oh yeah, we are definitely talking about this when we get home.”

  The two of us watch Max make his way through the crowd, and when he gets close, our eyes meet. I watch him try to cover the anger on his face, schooling his features into a blank mask as he walks over to stand beside me. Part of me wants to tell him to go away because the things he said about me are not okay, but the rest of me remembers that Max has been my friend for years. Anna leans around me to talk to him. “What’s up, Mad Max? Haven’t seen you in forever.” One eyebrow raises, and when she says the next words, he looks away, jaw clenching. “I hope you’re treating my sister right.”

  We barely hear his response. “Better than some people I know.”

  “Oooh, big words there Maxy … care to elaborate since this one,” she jabs her thumb at me, “won’t tell me anything. Isn’t that rude?” I glare at her, but she just grins, never taking her eyes off Max.

  He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t think it’s rude. You’re just nosy, Anna.”

  She pulls back, shocked he would say that to her, and for once she has nothing to say. I roll my eyes at both of them, and keep watching the door. Dummy me keeps hoping Clay will come out and have something to say, some sort of explanation for a conversation he doesn’t even know I heard. I never said I was logical.

  A few minutes later, while I’m still going over the parts of the conversation I heard, Marcus, the guy Clay is here because of, walks out, Clay following a few seconds later. He looks around the room, finally settling on me. There’re so many emotions in his eyes, but when his eyes register Max is beside me, the emotions narrow into one—anger. I don’t want him to see how conflicted I am, so I look away. When I finally turn back, he’s moving, and the crowd, or more accurately, mostly the women, is cheering for him as he gets in the ring. Unconsciously, I reach out to grab Anna’s hand, practically crushing it with mine when I see the guy he’s going to be fighting tonight.

  Clay is a big guy, but the guy he’s fighting is massive. He easily has three or four inches, not to mention forty or fifty pounds—if not more—on Clay, and Clay doesn’t even look mildly worried. Marcus steps into the middle of the ring to introduce both guys, but my heart is beating so fast I don’t catch Clay’s name. His opponent is nicknamed “The Crusher,” and that’s more than enough information for me.

  The two men meet in the middle of the ring where Marcus stands and shake hands. “Crusher” says something that makes Clay smirk in a way I can see all the way back here, but he doesn’t say anything in response. He only nods his head before turning his attention back to Marcus who continues giving the rules of the fight: fists only, three rounds, tapping out loses the fight. As the guys go back to their corners, Max leans in to say, “I need to talk to you.”

  Hard as it is, I manage to turn my head away from the ring to focus on Max. He’s giving me his puppy-dog eyes, knowing that usually gets me to do whatever he wants. Not this time, though. I narro
w my eyes at him, my words more blunt than normal when I say, “I don’t think we have anything else to say. I heard plenty across the room earlier.”

  Max’s eyes widen when he realizes I heard the conversation between him and Clay. “You weren’t supposed to hear that, Kat. That was between me and Clay.” He sounds like he’s chastising me when they are the ones who were talking about me behind my back, and that immediately puts my back up.

  “I didn’t go over there with the intention of eavesdropping. Clay wanted to talk to me, and I wanted to get that over with. Lucky for me,” I say sarcastically, “I heard how both of you really feel. You think I’m your possession, and don’t like the fact that your brother played with one of your toys. Clay sees me as nothing more than a vagina to stick his dick in. I don’t think it can get much clearer than that.” My voice breaks, and I take a deep breath, trying to keep myself from crying. I hate the fact that I cry when I get mad. It’s so annoying, and no one ever takes your anger seriously. You’re just the crybaby, the hormonal girl who cries to get her way when that’s not it at all.

  Max sputters out a reply, but sounds from the crowd distract me from whatever excuse he’s trying to make. My attention goes back to the ring where Clay is standing, a trail of red dripping down from the corner of his mouth, and a bruise already forming on his jaw. “Crusher” is on the mat, his chest heaving, but unmoving. Marcus climbs into the ring as I watch the events unfolding, crouching down beside Clay’s opponent and saying something in his ear. I don’t see him respond, and after speaking to him a couple more times, Marcus stands, an ecstatic look on his face as he raises Clay’s arm, declaring him the winner.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Max move; then he’s moving as fast as he can through the crowd to where his brother is getting ready to leave the ring. Before he gets the chance, Max darts under the ropes and gets right up in his face. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but whatever it is, it’s not good. Clay rears back just as Max turns to point at me, before turning back to yell at him some more. Clay turns wide eyes to me, and though he’s across the room, the regret in them is plain.