Better When He's Bad

by Jay Crownover

  He shoved his hands through his golden hair and started to pace in front of me. “Of course I care. Every move I’ve made has been to keep everyone safe. I knew Bax would find you. Would stand between you and Novak.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest and leveled him with a look. “What if he hadn’t? What if he had gotten out of jail and taken off? That’s a big risk you took with my life without talking to me about it, Race.”

  “I know Bax.” His gaze drifted to the rumpled bed. “At least I thought I did.”

  “I thought he was like your brother, your best friend. Isn’t that why you told me to trust him if he showed up? Even if he was scary, even if he seemed dangerous, you told me to trust him.”

  “That was before I knew he would sink so low to pay me back.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He lumbered to his feet and started pacing back and forth. “I never thought he would sleep with you to get back at me for sending him to jail.”

  I sucked in a breath so hard it hurt. I shook my head and frowned at Race. Even though I missed him, was worried about him, I wasn’t going to let him waltz in and start getting things all tangled up.

  “He didn’t. He didn’t know about the setup until tonight when he cornered Lord Hartman. He suspected you had something to do with it, were involved somehow, but he called Titus tonight for the real story. He took me to bed way before that, Race.”

  “Jesus, Dove, I don’t need details.”

  “Then stop being an idiot. You pulled a gun on the only person in the world who gives a crap where you’ve been and if you’ve been okay besides me.”

  “I wasn’t expecting to find you naked, in bed with him.”

  “That justifies putting a gun to his head after everything he’s already been through?”

  Race’s eyes flicked up at me and then he squeezed them shut and shoved his fists into them.

  “You’re in love with him.”

  I lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “Maybe a little bit. Regardless, he’s been here and he’s done what you intended him to do. Benny, Novak . . . none of those guys have gotten close to me, and they want to because whatever you have going on is making everyone very nervous, Race.”

  The door to the apartment swung open and Bax stalked back in looking no less pissed and battered than when he left. His face had fared better than Race’s, but his knife wound was all broken open again and the scab looked like something out of a horror movie. He made his way over to where I was standing. He put a finger under my chin and tilted my head up and looked at me hard.

  “Okay?”

  “Fine. You need to rewrap up your side.”

  He looked down where he was steadily leaking blood and shrugged. “It won’t kill me.”

  He took a position similar to my own and crossed his arms over his chest and glared at my brother.

  “So, Race, why don’t you tell us what you have on Novak that’s enough for him to want you alive, even though you threatened to take him down? Why don’t you explain to your sister why you brought her back here, knowing everyone was going to be all over you?”

  Race muttered something under his breath and folded back into the chair. He clasped his hands in front of him and looked at something on the floor between his feet.

  “The night I grabbed the old guy, I knew there was no way you were going to kill him and no way Novak was going to let him live. I set up a bunch of wireless remote cameras on the meeting point.”

  Bax shook his head. “Smart bastard.”

  Race heaved another sigh. “Yeah, only the footage is blurry. You can tell it’s Novak, you can see him pull the trigger, but then everything kind of went crazy because you took off in the Aston Martin. I was supposed to stick around and give the footage to Titus, and Novak was supposed to go away for murder, only none of that happened. After you went to jail, Novak told me if I didn’t scram he was going after Dovie and after you behind bars. I told him he didn’t want to mess with me, but I didn’t want to tip my hand too early. When I knew you were getting out and could protect yourself, I knew it was time to come back.”

  He tossed his head back at the ceiling and looked up at the peeling plaster while Bax shifted restlessly next to me.

  “I was all set to turn the footage over to Titus when my idiot father decided to let me know that he had been laundering all of Novak’s money for the years I had been gone. I didn’t keep in touch with my parents too much until Dovie and I came back to the Point. I didn’t know how tangled everything had gotten. I didn’t know how to take Novak down without dragging my dad through the quicksand with him.”

  Bax grunted at that and asked coolly, “What does your old man have to do with anything? He tried to put a hit out on Dovie so what do you care if he gets swallowed in quicksand?”

  Race swore.

  “Not the old man, but my mom. She probably wouldn’t survive having all of this unravel on her. Dad in jail for RICO and Dad’s illegitimate kid shoved in her face. Not to mention Novak would probably kill her just to keep me in line.”

  “Why did you bring Dovie back here? Why risk it if you were safe in another city?”

  “I was never going to be safe. Novak was always going to use me to hold over your head. He’s not stupid, Bax. He knew the first thing you would do when you got out of jail was try and find out answers. He knew you would come after me. I came back to show him I wasn’t scared, no matter how awful this place is, it’s still my home. I wanted him to know his time was running down and I wanted to be closer to Titus because right now he’s the only person I trust.”

  He looked at the bed and then glared at me. “I couldn’t leave Dovie alone, so she had to come with me. I was just waiting until she was older, out of high school. I wanted her to have enough time to find her footing here before the shit hit the fan. I feel like everything has been stuck in suspended animation, everything just on pause waiting for you to get out of prison. It’s like time has been standing still and everything comes down to you and Novak, to this moment.” He gave Bax a really pointed look, which had him shifting uncomfortably. “Plus I knew that if something happened to me, you would be here, Titus would be here. She doesn’t need to be alone in her life anymore. There is family here in the Point, as hard as you might try to forget it.”

  “What do you mean you didn’t want Dovie left alone? You left her alone after Benny kicked the shit out of her.” Bax sounded furious about it and Race had the good grace to flush and look at me with remorse. I knew how my brother’s head worked. He was always trying to pull things apart and figure out what made them run. This situation was no different. To Race, I was a cog in the wheel of whatever Novak’s big picture was. It should offend me, make me mad, but by now I was getting kind of used to being a means to an end for men playing dangerous games I didn’t fully understand.

  “I know and I’m sorry. But something strange happened when I marched into Novak’s compound, something that changed the course of what’s going on here.”

  I could feel Bax stiffen even with the space between us and could feel the heat of anger blazing off of him. “What happened?”

  Race’s green eyes flashed between the two of us and then landed heavily on his friend. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened. I walked in there yelling about a hidden tape with an execution on it. Threw around words like ‘feds’ and ‘lifetime behind bars’ and Novak just looked at me like I was an annoying fly buzzing around his head. He knew I was confident moving back here, that I felt like I had leverage. And I thought they roughed Dovie up to find out what I had because you were getting released, but then I walked out of the compound without so much as a scratch. It didn’t add up. We both know I should’ve ended up with a bullet between the eyes.”

  I gasped at the graphic image and Race shifted his gaze to me with a wince. “I only meant to stay away for a day or two, to see how things were going to play out. I crashed with Carmen for a few nights, paid Lester a few bucks to be on alert, and
imagine my surprise when there was no Benny, no Novak. It didn’t make sense, so I wanted to dig further into it. Something else is working and I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to figure out what it was. It’s like a giant game and the only person with the rules is Novak.”

  His gaze went back to Bax and he sighed heavily.

  “I feel like you’re the prize right in the center of the game board, Bax. I just don’t know what moves Novak is making to collect you.”

  I gulped and wanted to lean against Bax’s side, but didn’t want to set either Race or him off again. I was just going to have to comfort myself. Just like I always did.

  I rubbed my arms up and down the soft fabric of the sweatshirt and looked back and forth between the two men. “So what now?”

  “I don’t know. That’s why I came to find Bax. I can’t stay hidden, because sooner or later Benny is going to come after you to get me to make a move one way or the other. They’ll grab you to get me to come out of hiding; whatever Novak’s plan is, he wants me to be part of it. They know about the tape now. I told him if he ever came near you again after they knocked you around, I would send it to the feds. I thought that’s why they have been looking for me but now I’m not so sure. No one knows where the tape is besides me. Novak has cops on the take, he has eyes everywhere. I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to figure out where his reach ends.” His blond head dropped a little and his shoulders slumped. “I don’t know who we can trust beyond Titus.”

  We were all quiet, the weight of having to deal with any and all of Novak’s machinations heavy in the room around us. I could hear Bax’s steady breathing, could see the fear and anger stamped on Race’s face, and I thought Bax was right, I did deserve more than this in life.

  Bax pushed off the counter and scraped his hands hard over his scalp. He looked at me and then at Race. “Give me the tape.”

  I winced and Race scowled.

  “No!” I screamed it out of fear for Bax’s safety, Race barked it out of indignation. Bax just shook his head.

  “What other option is there? Novak already has a hard-on for me. He never would have involved you or Dovie in any of his machinations if he didn’t want to have me over a barrel. It’s my fault. I break the law. I steal shit and end up tied into guys like him. Neither one of you needs to suffer for it anymore. This is my mess, I’ll clean it up. Whether it’s about the tape and blackmail or something else altogether.”

  I grabbed him. I couldn’t help it. I wrapped my hands around his biceps, but like when I thought he was going to run away from me earlier, I could already see the dark barriers folding down as he looked down at my panicked face.

  “So what? You’re going to offer yourself up as the sacrificial lamb? That doesn’t solve the problem, it just places you in the line of fire instead of Race.”

  “Yeah, Bax. I followed you willingly down this path. You didn’t have to drag me kicking and screaming. I knew it was wrong, knew the risks we were taking, and you already gave up enough in this nightmare. Novak is my problem.”

  Bax swore and I think my heart started to fracture when he purposely untangled himself from my clutching grip.

  “Novak is the Point’s problem.”

  I gulped back all the sour things I was feeling, the bitter taste of Shane disappearing behind everything that was Bax right before my eyes.

  “And you have to be the one to take care of it?” It was a stupid question to ask and I almost choked on it.

  There was nothing in his eyes when he looked at me, he was back to that dangerous stranger that I was equal parts scared of and fascinated by. He pulled out the big guns, the ones that there was no way Race could argue against. I knew, just like that, the battle was over.

  “I went to jail for you, Race. I spent five years hating you, being disappointed in you, and convincing myself not to kill you when I got out. I might understand why you had to do it, but that’s five years I won’t get back and you owe me for it. Give me the fucking tape and let me handle Novak. You keep your sister safe and make sure no more of this nasty shit blows back on her.”

  I wanted to argue, wanted Race to protest, but he just nodded, and like that, everything shifted. I wasn’t Bax’s lover, his friend, or his partner in the shared goal of finding Race; I was just some girl and he was just some guy and this was the kind of life we lived in the Point. No one got a happy ending, and I should have known I was not the exception to the rule.

  CHAPTER 13

  Bax

  I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN Gus knew more than he was letting on. That old coot didn’t let anything get by him, and I should’ve been more clued in by the fact that he wasn’t more alarmed by Race’s disappearance than he was. As it turned out, my friend was hiding out in the apartment Gus kept above the garage for personal reasons. Reasons that involved more than one girlfriend and a jealous wife. Race had been right under Novak’s nose all along, so close it was really going to chap his ass when everything played out. Served the bastard right. That’s what happened when any one man tried to play God over so many other people’s lives. I couldn’t wait to laugh in his face and put my boot on the back of his neck.

  Of course I was going to have to get the bitter taste of the last look Dovie had given me out of my mouth before I did anything. I could see it in her eyes; she wanted me to ask her to stay with me, to change my mind about going into the lion’s den. I couldn’t do it. Not only because she would be eaten alive if she tried to stay by my side, but because tonight I had come very close to crossing a line I never would have imagined myself crossing. She got under my skin, made me want to make things different, but that wasn’t going to be possible, so I put her in the passenger seat of Race’s cherry ’66 Mustang without a kiss good-bye and closed the door. I watched her eyes turn from the color of the forest to the color of the night sky, and it twisted something up inside my chest so hard, I thought it was going to take me to my knees.

  Race watched the entire thing with a frown, and when I told him if anything happened to her I would hold him personally responsible, instead of getting offended or hostile, he just nodded his head solemnly and told me, “I understand, Bax. Be careful.”

  There was no such thing as careful when playing Russian roulette with a guy like Novak, so I didn’t bother to respond. I lit up a cigarette and watched as the taillights disappeared around the corner. It was already close to dawn and there was no going back to bed, not after having a gun in my face and the ensuing tussle with Race still thudding in my blood. Plus I felt like I was choking on the disappointment I could feel bleeding off of Dovie as she walked away. I couldn’t pretend like she didn’t matter, but I also couldn’t pretend like I didn’t know she needed something better than what I would end up bringing her way. She didn’t need to spend one second of her time visiting a grave or the penitentiary, and those were about the only two options she was going to get if we kept going the way we were together.

  I dug my phone out of my back pocket, and for the third time, which was more than I ever had in my entire life before, called my brother. He didn’t answer right away, so I finished the cigarette and went back up to the now thoroughly trashed apartment. I hadn’t really wanted to hurt Race, but no one was going to pull a gun on me and get off lightly, even if I could understand his displeasure at finding me naked and totally wrapped around his sister. That wasn’t anything a big brother wanted to walk in on.

  I was stripped down and getting ready to rinse the entire night away in a scalding shower when my phone decided to ring from the other room. Sighing, I wrapped a towel around my waist and went to answer the callback.

  “Now what?”

  Titus sounded annoyed and I couldn’t really blame him. He had called off the cavalry when the neighbors had reported the disturbance earlier. He was pissed Race had shown up out of the blue, and even more pissed when I told him about the nine-millimeter wake-up call. I think he was starting to regret forcing this brotherly-bond thing when he knew good and well it only mattered
to me as long as I could use it to my advantage.

  “I have the flash drive.”

  I didn’t think he was going to need any more information than that, and I was right. I heard him suck a breath in.

  “Race gave you the video?”

  “A copy of it. It’s stored on a hard drive somewhere in Gus’s shop, which is where he’s been this entire time, by the way.”

  Titus swore. “Shoulda known that old bastard knew more than he was letting on.”

  “That’s what I said when he told me.”

  “So you’re going to turn the video over to me so I can arrest Novak.” It wasn’t said as a question.

  I scowled at my ragged reflection in the mirror over the bathroom sink. Every single week since I had been let out, I had managed to find myself in some kind of physical altercation. My life was violent, filled with blood and uncertainty, and there was no place in it for a girl like Dovie, even if I already felt like there was a hole where she had been.

  “I’m going to take Novak down.”

  Silence met the bold declaration, but I expected nothing less. My brother was a law-abiding citizen, a cop, a man who saw things clearly as right or wrong, which is why we could never really operate on the same wavelength. His world was all solid shades of black and white; mine was a muddy gray, tinted with vibrant shades of red and green. Red for blood, green for dirty money.

  I was surprised he didn’t immediately launch into a lecture or give me the runaround about how it was the law’s job to handle Novak, to protect the Point. Instead he grumbled something foul and asked, “Wanna grab breakfast in a couple?”

  My eyebrows shot up. “Sure, why not.”

  We made plans to meet at a diner close to the precinct Titus worked out of, and I finished trying to wash Dovie’s memory and scent off of my skin. The cut on my side was open again and Race had gotten a couple good blows to my ribs, so I was moving a little slower than normal. It wasn’t until I went to get dressed that I realized Dovie had left still wrapped up in my new hoodie. I didn’t want to admit that the idea of her holding on to something of mine made something in my gut settle down. I had never really been possessive of anything in my life, aside from my car and my friendship with Race. Whatever I was feeling for Dovie trumped all of it. It felt like hope and promise and all the things in life I had never imagined would apply to me.