Learning To Live (Eternal Flames Book 11)

by Cree Storm

  “People think that only shifters or paranormals can sense danger, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Everyone has a sixth sense about things, but the difference is, shifters and paranormals trust in them, where humans often ignore them and keep walking in the park—if you know what I mean?” Donny stated.

  “Oh, I know what you mean, because I was one of those stupid ass humans. Not at first. I mean, I told him it was nice to meet him and then made my way out of the bathroom and went back to my friends. It wasn’t long before Trey showed up and joined us on the dance floor. We were having fun. I figured my reservations were just virgin jitters. We were flirting and having fun,” Rory softly said.

  “You were a virgin at twenty-one?” Donny asked in shock.

  Rory sadness at his next words about broke Snake’s heart. “I was a romantic, I guess. I wanted my first time to be with someone I really cared about—maybe loved.”

  “Hey, there is nothing wrong in wanting to wait. I was just surprised because you are so damn sexy. I mean you had to of had men and women clamoring to get to you. It’s impressive to know that you have that much willpower. I’m kind of jealous,” Donny replied.

  Rory snorted, “Yeah, well don’t. Trey made sure to teach me that ideals are stupid.”

  “What do you mean?” Donny asked hesitantly.

  “As the time went on into the night, my friends started finding hook-ups of their own, and Trey and I were left on our own. We had danced so much I said I needed a drink. Trey went and got me a beer and we sat down. It didn’t take me more than a few sips to know that something was wrong.”

  “Well shit,” Donny rasped.

  Rory sounded as if he was crying and it took everything in Snake not to go into the room and stop him from talking. Snake didn’t know if he could handle hearing what he knew was coming. However, he knew that in order to get past Rory’s boundaries, he would need to know as many facts as he could. Snake could hear Ozcog’s breathing changing and knew that he was struggling with the same hesitancy as Snake was at this point.

  “Trey asked me if I was okay, but I couldn’t answer. He helped me up, saying some fresh air would do me some good. But, instead of taking me outside, he took me to the other bar. I knew we were walking down a long hall, but I had no idea where we were going until…until we ended up in a room.”

  “Oh, Rory. This is why you knew how I felt and what I needed,” Donny rasped.

  Rory started crying in earnest. “Donny, he—did things to me that—Gods! How could I have been so stupid?”

  “Hey, it wasn’t your fault,” Donny replied with such care, Snake knew the man was holding Rory. Snake was glad that Rory had someone he could talk to, but he would be lying if he didn’t admit that he was kind of jealous that he wasn’t the one comforting him instead of Donny.

  “I’ll never forget what…what he said afterwards,” Rory snorted, “It was fun. Clean up the room before you leave,” Rory whispered.

  “That son of a bitch! I hope that fuck is getting what he has coming to him from “Big Bubba” in prison,” Donny hissed.

  “I didn’t report it,” Rory replied, his voice filled with shame.

  Donny gasped, “What? Why the hell not? Rory, that man raped you!”

  “What would I tell the cops, Donny? I was at a gay bar, drinking, and even my friends knew I was flirting with the man. I gave off a vibe or something. I—”

  “That’s fucking bullshit, Rory! No means no! I don’t care if you undressed a man and wiggled your dick with a dance. The second you say no, it’s no and when someone drugs your ass, that is definitely because you said no,” Donny snapped.

  “I bet Wade about killed the fucker,” Donny said sounding happy.

  Rory was so quiet, Snake almost didn’t hear him. “I never told him.”

  “Rory! Why wouldn’t you at least tell Wade? He would have kicked the shit out of the fuck’s ass,” Donny stated in shock.

  “How could I tell my brother? He’s not just a SEAL, Donny, he’s the leader of his own team. How do I tell my bad ass brother, that I was stupid enough to get myself into a predicament like I did? I’m already the geeky, little brother. I―”

  “If you say one more word that puts you down, I might be forced to shift and scratch the shit out of you,” Donny hissed.

  Snake was so happy that Donny was in there. Right now, he didn’t know if he would be able to hold his shit together. Just hearing Rory’s pain had Snake wanting to hunt this son of a bitch down and rip his dick off, shove it down the fucker’s throat, then make sure he died a slow and painful death.

  “I’m not trying to put myself down. I’ve worked hard to try and heal from my attack and honestly, I thought I had been doing a great job. I started an on-line group and although it’s great and so many are a part of it, sadly, so many more keep joining. I know that it’s helped many survivors begin to heal and even more continue to heal, and it’s helped even more be able to move forward to a healthy life. Some have even been able to start new relationships, but for me, I’ve never been able to take that last step,” Rory softly stated.

  “Then it’s a great thing that you have mates to help you with that next step, Rory,” Donny stated.

  Rory scoffed, “Why would that be a good thing, Donny? I’ve seen how the mates are around me. They can’t keep their hands off each other. Donny, I haven’t even held hands with another person since this happened.”

  “Rory, mates are not all about sex. Mates are a safe place for each other. Mates are patient, loving, kind, and the one or ones that you can trust over any and all that surround you. They will put their lives on the line to protect you and lend an ear if you need to talk. They will hold you close if you just need reassurance from the world around you. A mate is the other piece of your soul. It just requires you to communicate what it is you need, and they will gladly provide it. If you are not ready for sex, they will wait. It's not like Ozcog and Snake are just going to pounce on you, but you are going to have to tell them what happened. They have a right to know what walls they’re facing,” Donny softly insisted.

  “I don’t know if I can,” Rory rasped.

  Snake could hear movement on the other side of the door and realized Donny must have moved. “Wasn’t it you that just hours ago told me that I shouldn’t let my attack define who I am? Didn’t you say to me that the fault of what happened lay in the hands of the evil prick that grabbed me and tried to take what I was not offering?”

  Rory must have nodded because he didn’t hear a reply, but Donny continued to say, “Then you need to take your own advice. You have an opportunity that so many shifters and paranormals pray for every day. To find the piece of their soul is something we yearn for and many times die before ever finding.”

  “I don’t know how,” Rory whispered.

  There was silence for a few moments and then Donny gasped, “Angelo! Angelo can help us both.”

  “I don’t understand,” Rory said in confusion.

  Snake was just as confused as Rory. How could Angelo help Rory?

  Hearing a knock at the door, Snake was forced to go back into the living room with Ozcog behind him. Looking through the peep hole, Snake was surprised to see Angelo standing on the other side.

  The sound of the knocking grew louder, Angelo hissing, “I can hear you breathing on the other side of the door. Now open the damn thing or I’m going to have my mate bust it down.”

  CHAPTER 5

  The second the door opened, Angelo walked in looking around. “Where’s Donny and Rory?”

  Ozcog pointed down the hall, but before he could say another word, Angelo went in the direction the gargoyle had indicated, hearing Morgan say a bit grumpily, “He had a vision.”

  Ignoring his mate’s frustration, and the continued discussion in the other room, Angelo listened until he found the room the two men he sought were in and knocked.

  “Go away,” Rory shouted from the other end.

  Raising his brow, Angelo kno
cked harder, sternly saying, “Open up and let me in, Rory.”

  There was fast movement and the door was swung open forcefully. Donny stood there with his eyes wide. “Damn, Angelo. I heard you were psychic but shit I didn’t know you were a mind reader too.”

  “I’m not. However, I did have a vision and a compulsion to come here. Morgan isn’t too happy right now, we were kinda celebrating my baby bump when it came on.”

  Angelo laughed when both men’s eyes seemed to zero in on his midriff. “You can’t see it with my clothes on goofs and I’m not about to remove my clothes so you can.”

  “Male pregnancy is just crazy to me,” Rory murmured.

  Smiling wide, Angelo replied, “It is a blessing to me. I am happier than I ever thought I could be and I think that’s why I’m here.”

  “Huh?” Rory asked, sounding truly baffled.

  Angelo sat in a chair facing Rory. “I know you’ve heard about my abilities, Rory.”

  Nodding, Rory replied, “Yes. I don’t quite get it, and to be honest I never really believed in clairvoyants, but from what I’ve heard, you have honestly saved many lives because of the visions you have.”

  “That’s true, but I can still see the skepticism in your eyes,” Angelo stated and then raised his hand stopping Rory from continuing. “No, it’s okay. I’m quite used to people not believing in what I do. However, let me tell you about the vision that brought me here to you both now,” Angelo said quietly.

  Angelo started off with Rory finding Donny and everything they went through until coming to Rory’s home. When he got to the discussion Rory had been having with Donny saying every word Rory and Donny had spoken since being in this room. Angelo could see the shock, horror, and then shame racing across Rory’s features. Leaning in slowly, Angelo lightly squeezed Rory’s hand saying, “I lived with fear and shame, just as you are, for a very long time. It took years for me to come to terms with what happened and every time I thought I had gotten past it, something would happen, and I would find myself back in that alley hearing, seeing, and feeling everything. I didn’t date, I didn’t talk to anyone about it, and I always kept a piece of me from those around me—even my best friends.”

  Angelo could feel his eyes moisten, thinking about the darkest time in his life. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and continued, “I just knew that every time they looked at me, they would see my battered and abused body and I feared the pity that would follow. I knew that with each look they saw a weak and pathetic fool. Again, it took me years to figure out, it wasn’t Vik, Ethan, and the others seeing me that way. It was how I saw myself. The day I met Morgan, I about shit myself. Not because he was built like a brick shit house, or the fact that he was a walking ad for sex videos. It was because for the first time, since I was assaulted, I got a boner.”

  Donny blinked and smiled, but Rory turned his head and Angelo knew Rory understood what he was saying. “I thought I was broken in so many ways after my rape. It wasn’t just that I wasn’t strong enough to stop it from happening, but because nothing stimulated my cock anymore. I tried everything. I got the magazines I used to use to jerk off to, tried watching porn, and even went to an all-male review, but nothing I did made my dick hard. I think that made me feel less of a man than even the attack itself.”

  Rory wiped his eyes but said nothing. Angelo could see the man was struggling but listening and so he continued down that dark road, reminding himself that it was now filled so brightly with light. Taking in a deep breath, Angelo let it out slowly. Rory turned to him, whispering, “It’s okay, Angelo. You don’t have to talk about it.”

  Angelo gave a small smile to Rory. “I know I don’t have to, Rory, but I need to. I want to. If, by me sharing my path helps you walk in yours easier, than at least some good came from it all. If that makes sense?”

  Nodding, Rory replied, “It makes perfect sense. It’s why I started my on-line group.”

  Letting out another shaky breath, Angelo continued, “I know you’re human and mates don’t make much sense to you, Rory, but in our world our mate is someone we yearn for from the moment we are taught about them. It’s fate gifting you with that person or persons who will share your world and help you walk through your darkest, ugliest times, and bring laughter and joy into a world we might struggle to fit into. They are that piece of a puzzle that once you pick them up, you will find it was what you needed to see the full and real picture you’ve been trying to create since you were born.”

  “I don’t know if I can do that, Angelo. I’m not as strong as you are. Hell, I’m not even as strong as Donny. He didn’t hesitate to give every detail he could to help in the investigation of this serial rapist running around,” Rory whispered.

  “That’s because I had you with me every step of the way, Rory. Who did you have?” Donny asked.

  Rory just shrugged.

  Angelo looked at the young man in front of him. He remembered the terror that gripped his mind and body when he had met Morgan for the first time and realized his mate was looking back at him. The thought of intimacy had Angelo almost paralyzed with fear, but his mate listened and was so patient with him. Slowly, the wall Angelo had built had come down and with determination and the love from his mate, Angelo was finally able to get past all that fear and he had never been more thankful in his life for it. He just needed to find a way to help Rory see that his mates would be able to help Rory through this, just as Morgan had done for him. “Rory, I’m going to ask you a question and I want an honest answer.”

  “Okay,” Rory whispered.

  “What did you feel inside when you saw Snake for the first time?”

  Rory thought a moment, then stammered, “I—I—"

  Angelo could see that Rory was struggling to answer. Placing a gentle hand on Rory’s knee, Angelo whispered, “It’s okay, Rory. Take your time.”

  “It isn’t that, Angelo.” Sighing heavily, Rory said, “It’s that the first time I felt something was when I went to work for Wade’s team as the tech man. I would have to call and give information to Wade, and sometimes it was Snake that would take the message. Snake’s smooth baritone gave me tingles and my—my—” Swallowing hard, Rory’s voice became strained. “It was like you said. I had a reaction I hadn’t had since the day of my assault.”

  “And it scared you,” Angelo stated knowingly.

  “Terrified is more like it. Hell, I hung up on him,” Rory answered, then stopped and looked down at his hands. He was twisting them so hard the poor guy’s skin was turning red. “It took everything in me to pick up the phone and call him back. Then I went out of my way to limit our calls as much as I could. The first time I saw Snake, with his jet-black hair and light brown eyes, and the tattoo on his shoulder of those tonto knives crossed like they were, I remember thinking I would love to see how many other tats the man had. Then I froze. I started to shake and lost my ability to hear. I had tunnel vision, as it became more and more difficult to breathe. My heart felt like it was going a thousand miles an hour. I thought I was going to die.”

  “You had a panic attack,” Angelo whispered.

  Rory licked his lips, whispering, “I didn’t know that’s what it was at the time, all I knew was I had to get out of that room and fast. It took me close to ten minutes to get myself calmed down enough to go back to that office. I made up some excuse, I don’t remember what it was, and I got the hell out of there.”

  “But you work with him all the time. I’ve seen you together. You seem to have it under control,” Donny replied.

  Rory looked up, and Angelo could see shame all over the man’s face. “What? What did you do?”

  “The man that leads our group is a psychiatrist. When I told him what happened and how I was going to quit my job, he said that there might be a way to help with the situation,” Rory answered.

  “He put you on medications, didn’t he?” Angelo asked gently.

  Nodding, Rory replied, “I’ve been on them for almost four years now. It’s the
only way I could keep doing my job. Going to work for Wade’s team saved my life, Angelo. I didn’t want to have to give it up. Wade is the only family I have left in this world and damn it, I’m good at what I do. My tech abilities have gotten Wade and his team out of a shit ton of trouble more than once. I’ve helped bring down drug kings, saved dignitaries, rescued hostages, and so many other great things. Before Trey Mathus raped me, I was going to school to become an electrical engineer and only minoring in computer technology.”

  Rory sipped his now cold coffee, then said, “I tried to pretend it didn’t happen—you know? I had some bruises, but I said I fell down drunk in the alley and banged myself up. I grabbed my back pack and went to class, but I felt like everyone was staring at me. Like they knew what had happened, you know? I somehow made it through that class, but the thought of going to another and having all those people ogling me, was just too much. I know now they weren’t doing it, but I swear to you, it seemed that way to me at the time.”

  “Like you have a scarlet letter on your forehead for the world to see,” Angelo replied in understanding.

  Nodding, Rory answered, “Exactly like that.”

  “That’s normal,” Angelo replied.

  Donny sighed. “That’s good to know. I mean, I know I didn’t have it as bad as you two, but—”

  Angelo quickly turned to Donny. “What happened to you was no less a violation, Donny. Do not discount it or try and quantify the situations. You are most likely going to go through some really tough days, but when that happens, you call me or Rory or maybe even join the group. It’s helpful and you won’t feel so alone.”

  “Rory already introduced me to a few of the members, well, by phone, before I took my bath. He wanted me to have access to them in case I needed them during the night hours,” Donny replied.

  “Good. You are going to need a good support system if you are going to recover. You can count on myself and Rory, and honestly many others, but sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than it is to those that know you,” Angelo stated before he turned back to Rory. “So, is that how you ended up with Wade and his team? You switched majors? But how did Wade know if you two didn’t really talk?”