by Jane Henry
“Jesus, I’m sorry,” I mutter. “Hate that I’ve brought this to you.”
Nolan’s brows rise. “You serious, Carson? Don’t fucking apologize for that. You defended Megan, and we all know that. We don’t blame you. In fact, we’re bloody grateful.”
The others murmur in agreement. I have to look away for a minute, when my rush of gratitude nearly fucking overwhelms me. Jesus, I’m growing soft these days, that I’m grateful my brothers have my back.
Still. I was the one who fucking brought the trouble of Stone City on our doorstep. I’m the one who could make it even worse and fucking easily.
I’m the one who’ll solve this.
We talk at length about what we’ll do, how to act proactively to defend the brotherhood against potential attack from the O’Gregors. Tully, Boner, and Lachlan will go undercover, incognito, and see what information they can find. Nolan will stay out of the fray, as he’s got three children he’s responsible for and one on the way. Keenan will oversee all of us.
But I know that the plan we have on paper, what we’ve agreed to, is only part of the plan. Keenan and I will talk privately when the others are dismissed. He doesn’t want to advertise that detail, though, and neither do I.
So when he dismisses the others, it doesn’t surprise me that he jerks his chin in my direction. “Carson. A moment?”
Nolan eyes me curiously but doesn’t ask questions. He may suspect Keenan wants to know what’s going on with me and Megan. They take their leave, and Keenan and I are left alone.
“Y’alright, brother?”
I nod. “I am. You?”
He smiles. “Aye. Caitlin’s saying she’s ready for another child, but honest to God, they’re already doing my head in.” But the way he shakes his head belies the way his eyes crinkle around the edges and he smiles. He has traces of gray in his hair and beard he didn’t have when he took the throne, but I know him well enough to know he wouldn’t trade it for the world.
“Don’t I know it. One’s keeping me on my toes,” I say.
“But you have a little help these days, don’t you?”
I nod. “Aye, your mother’s helping me hire a nanny.”
Keenan shakes his head. “That’s not who I’m referring to.”
I hide absolutely nothing from Keenan. The truth is, he’s the only one in the world who knows everything there is to know about me, from the days I was adopted by his father, Seamus McCarthy, to my meeting and falling in love with Eve. And he knows what I do now.
“Right, then,” I say with a nod. “No bloody use denying it.”
“You’ve got feelings for Megan?”
I clear my throat and meet his eyes. “Aye.” I won’t hide it any longer, won’t deny it. I’ll deal with whatever shite the brotherhood gives me if I have to. She’s worth it.
Keenan nods. “I suspected as much. It’s why I’ve put you in charge of her surveillance.”
Ah. So he did that on purpose, like I suspected.
“And is she giving you crap about it?” he asks with a chuckle.
“Aye, of course,” I say. “You know how it goes.”
“I do.”
“I mean, she does pretty well. Doesn’t give me too hard of a time, for the most part.”
“Except when she does,” he says with a shake of his head.
I think of how she wouldn’t look at me at breakfast and how she ignored my text, and I barely stop an eye roll.
“Aye.”
“She’s a good lass,” Keenan says, sobering. “She’ll do well by you. She’s feisty as hell, but she knows the ways of the Clan. And in the end, a woman who knows who we are and what we do will prove more loyal. I trust you, Carson.”
I nod. “Thank you.” I’m glad he does. I would never intentionally hurt her. Never.
“Come closer, please,” he says in a low voice. “We’re safe here, but I don’t want anyone to know what we’re talking about.”
We don’t keep secrets in the Clan. It’s a rule I’ve known since my youth.
“Will we tell them soon, then?”
“Aye,” he says. “Absolutely. But I want to get to the bottom of this issue with the O’Gregors first.”
I nod.
“Tell me the latest.”
I tell him everything, details he and I alone know. How I’ve been spying on the O’Gregors, trying to find out who was responsible for Eve’s death. How I’ve tracked every transaction and hacked into their accounts and even garnered their trust.
“And what have you found?”
“They’re singlehandedly responsible for the vast majority of opiates in this country.”
He nods.
“They’ve cut a deal with London, in exchange for intel from Rome. And their connection in America leads me to believe they have big plans there as well.”
“America?” Keenan looks mildly surprised. “Thought they had nothing to do with them.”
“They didn’t, until recently. Irish mob in Boston’s got roots deep over here, though.” We talk at length about my research, the work I’ve done, and what I have yet to do.
“Any word on Eve?”
I hate this discussion. It feels like lancing a wound, a necessary evil, but painful and ugly.
“Not much, but enough to confirm they very well could have had a hand in her death.”
“I’m sorry, brother,” Keenan says. My throat tightens, and it takes me a moment to compose myself. Nothing makes me angrier. Nothing makes me more ready to kill, than the thought that Eve’s death wasn’t an accident. It’s the only reason Keenan’s allowed me the privilege of going undercover to begin with. He’d want to do the same.
“Thank you.” I tell him every detail. How I’ve hacked into their bank accounts and transactions. How I’ve followed their travel to London, Madrid, and Boston. How they’ve come to trust me as their top contact in opiate trade, and how I’ve used every means possible to hide my whereabouts and identity.
We know what’s at stake. We know if they find out what I’ve done, my life, and the life of every member of the brotherhood, is on the line.
“I trust you’ve been careful.”
“I have. I’ve blocked every possible means of tracking. They have no idea who I am. They believe I’m located somewhere in South Africa.”
Keenan nods, thoughtfully stroking his chin. “We’ll have to make our plan watertight,” he says. “But it’s time to stop observing and start acting.”
I know exactly what he means. I nod.
“I agree. I’m not playing with them anymore. If I can confirm they were responsible for Eve’s death, I’m bringing them down.” I swallow hard, fire rising in my chest at the thought of their implication. My gut tells me I’m not far from the truth, I’m right on the cusp of a breakthrough. “I’ll destroy them, Keenan.”
“Which is exactly what we want,” Keenan says. “We could go to bloody war, but we don’t win in the end. If the O’Gregors killed one of our own as you suspect… well, all the members of the brotherhood ought to know how and why. And we’ll need to end them, once and for all.”
Keenan reaches for my hand. I take his and we shake.
It’s decided, then.
I’ll pull together the strings of information I’ve gathered. If they add up to what I think they will… it’s time to destroy.
“And brother, don’t let Megan out of your sight. She’s a feisty one, and if she’s got a bee in her fucking bonnet, she might give you the slip.”
She’d better not even think of such a thing.
“Aye,” I tell him. “Absolutely.”
I leave the meeting with Keenan intent on what I have to do. Breena’s off with Maeve, but where’s Megan? I pull out my phone and hit the surveillance feed. I blink in surprise.
She’s right outside this door?
My pocket buzzes. Burner phone. I slip into a nearby office and pull it out of my pocket.
Shipment coming in this evening. Pier four.
Th
is isn’t a message to me but one I’ve infiltrated and sent to my phone. I scroll through the rest of the messages. There’s a message about retaliation in Limerick City, a trade in Cork, and someone in Boston coming to visit. I shake my head. They’ve got spies and connections bloody everywhere.
But why? Father Finn gave me enough information to get me started, and I feel as if I’m right on the edge of finding out everything I need, but there’s a missing piece to the puzzle. One more little piece to click in place, and I’ll have my full picture.
I glance back at my private phone, and see Megan’s coming closer. She must be in the garden, and now she’s returning to the house.
She’s my charge, whether she likes it or not. I shove both phones back into my pocket and exit the meeting room. It’s when I shove the burner phone back in my pocket, I remember.
Yesterday, she found me on my burner phone, and I lied to her, told her I was working on Tully’s. Tully was at breakfast. Did she catch me in the lie?
Bloody hell, I hate fucking lies. I scrub a hand across my brow. I’ll have to find her.
I leave the room, intent on finding her, when I hear voices coming my way. Maeve, Breena, and Megan.
“And isn’t that the best?” Megan says, in a soft voice that tells me she’s talking to Breena.
Breena chatters on in her way, only a handful of words intelligible, but Megan carries right along with her, as if she understands every damn word. She can’t know exactly what it is she’s saying, but maybe that doesn’t matter.
Maybe all that matters is Breena know she’s heard.
I walk briskly out of the office and toward my girls. My girls.
It doesn’t matter why Megan’s in her head about whatever the fuck she is, both of those girls are mine, and I’ll fight for them until the day I stop drawing breath.
I come around the corner to see Megan and Maeve with wee Breena between them, holding hands.
“Daddy!” Breena lets go of their hands and makes a run for it. I bend, brace for her crashing into me, and when she does, I lift her in the air.
“Hello, sweet girl,” I say to her, the cloudy thoughts and the jobs before me fading when I hold Breena. She nuzzles her head against my neck, her wisps of curls making my nose tickle. I brush it away and kiss the top of her head, only to find Megan eyeing me hesitantly.
What the bloody hell is going on?
“You were in the garden with Granny and Megan?”
“Aye,” Breena says with her little voice. She goes on and on about suckers and bees and flowers. Maeve smiles and Megan grins at her.
“Tell daddy about the little rosebud you found, the one that hasn’t opened yet. We’ll wait for it to bloom, won’t we?” says Megan.
Breena nods and shows me with her hands, how her fingers are all tight, then they open again. “Bloom, daddy.”
“Just like the other pretties,” Megan says.
“Can’t wait to see that,” I tell her. “Now will you go off with Granny a moment? Megan and I need to talk about a few things.”
Megan’s eyes narrow on me, but I don’t miss the way she swallows hard. She knows she ignored my text. She knows she’s under my protection and surveillance.
“Aye, let’s go see to the kitchen,” Maeve says. “I know someone was baking some biscuits for us.”
Breena runs away with Maeve, heading to the kitchen.
“Well, then,” Megan says briskly. “I ought to be going. I have to get upstairs to—oh!”
I don’t let her get a word in edgewise as I drag her back into the meeting room. I shut and lock the door, press her up against it, and with my hand to her jaw, hold her in place.
“What the bloody hell is going on?”
She swallows, and her eyes flash at me. “Carson.”
“That’s sir.”
She takes in a deep breath as if to steady her nerves, then releases it again. “Sir,” she says, but there’s nothing deferential in her tone. She’s angry with me and fighting this, hard. But for that one moment in time, I don’t care, I bloody don’t. All I see is those bright eyes, her full lips, and before I know what’s happening, my mouth is on hers and she’s moaning into my kiss.
I grasp her wrists and pin them to the wall, holding her in place when I kiss her harder, deeper. She whimpers and melts into me, and I release one wrist so I can cup her arse. Her leg hitches up on my side, and her sex presses against my trousers. The scent of her arousal permeates my senses, until I’m near heady with the need to take her.
I just wanted a kiss, one kiss to bring us back together again. I don’t even know what was wrong, but it’s a distant memory now as I drag down her panties to her ankles. She shimmies out of them, helping me along by grabbing my t-shirt and yanking it up over my head. Our clothes tumble to the floor like leaves from a tree, and then she’s up against the wall, her hands bracing herself as I glide my cock in her sweet, slick entrance.
We don’t speak. We don’t wait. I spread her legs and impale her with my cock, and she stifles her whimper of need and want. I pump into her with conviction, needing to claim her, to mark her, so she knows with every thrust of my hips that she belongs to me. I thrust in then out, our bodies pressed together in this quiet, intimate space.
Her sex clenches when I thrust, her core tightening to perfection. I watch as her hands splay on the wall in front of her, and with every solid thrust, a little of her anger dissipates. Her eyes are closed, her mouth parted, as she’s drowning in pleasure with me.
“Come,” I whisper in her ear. I give her arse a good, hard slap. “You fucking come.”
I don’t know if she could hold back if she tried, but just as my own release shatters through me, her head falls back onto my shoulder, she shudders, and her body spasms beneath mine. I work her harder and faster until she’s writhing in ecstasy as my own climax rips through me.
I love you, I say to her silently, my mind echoing the words again and again. I love you. I love you.
We are meant for each other, two lonely travelers who found their way on the same path. She slumps against the wall, satisfied and boneless, as I milk the last of my own release. I draw out and slide myself back in my pants. She presses her forehead up to the wall.
“What the bloody hell was that,” she mutters.
“Punishment,” I tell her.
“If that’s punishment, I’m going to fuck up a bit more.”
I grin. “You should feel remorse, young lady. You ignored my texts, and you bloody know the rules.”
We dress in silence. She’s smiling gently to herself and I’m pretty sure I’ve got a grin of my own. Finally, we’re ready.
Her wild, crazy hair is all damp and frizzy. “Do I look okay?”
“Um…” I point to her hair. “Sort of got the ‘wind-blown, freshly fucked’ hair.”
She waves a hand. “Oh, that. Telltale sign, eh?”
I chuckle. “Maybe, if anyone’s watching.”
“Oh, they’re watching.”
“Breena’s with Maeve and I have work to do back at my flat. Come with me?”
She sighs and bites her lip. What’s that all about? We just made love. Doesn’t that mean anything?
“Aye,” she says. “I’d like to. But we have to talk.”
I grunt. “We do. Would rather have the conversation about what we need to talk about at my place, though.”
She looks around and finally nods.
“You have some explaining to do,” I tell her.
“As do you,” she says, the freshly fucked pinkness in her cheeks returning.
“My place,” I snap. Seems a good fuck didn’t really solve the underlying issue.
We will, though.
We walk together to my place, barely talking along the way, until we get into my flat, and when I have her alone, I kiss her all over again. This time, we end up on the carpet of the living room floor, her riding me to completion.
Jesus Christ, we’ll never get anything done at this rate.
>
When we’re naked, still tangled in each other’s limbs, I grab throw pillows from the couch and we both just lie here.
“No denying there’s… chemistry here,” she says, panting, reaching for my hand to hold it. She places our folded hands to her bare chest.
“There’s fucking chemistry,” I agree.
“You should punish me with sex more often,” she says. “I’m seriously going to have to think on this…”
I tug a lock of her hair. “Should’ve strapped you again with my belt.”
She moans.
“Or maybe I should’ve given you a round with the cane.”
She grins. “Trying to turn me on again?”
I shake my head and grin back.
“Tell me, Megan. What got into you?”
“Wellll….” she begins. “You see… well, I saw Tully with his phone at breakfast. I mentioned to him that you were fixing his.”
Why the bloody hell did she do that? I stifle a groan.
“And?”
“And he said he didn’t know what I was talking about, that you didn’t have his phone.”
I feel a muscle twitch in my jaw. I have two choices: continue to lie or tell the truth. The truth may hurt her, but a lie definitely will.
“Alright, the truth is, I did lie to you, and I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widen. “Really.”
I nod. “I can’t tell you everything, but I can tell you this much. I’m doing undercover work only Keenan knows about, and it’s bloody crucial the people I’m in with don’t find out. I didn’t want you to worry or find out something that will make it that much harder for you.” It’s the absolute truth.
She nods thoughtfully.
“Something you need to understand, lass, and mark me well. The men of the Clan don’t share every detail of every job with their significant others. Sometimes, it’s safer for you not to know. Doesn’t mean it will always be the case, but there are times when it’s best not to ask questions.”
“I can understand that,” she says. “I don’t like you lying to me, though.”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Next time, I’ll just tell you, it’s not something I can talk about.” I never lie. I’m not sure what the bloody hell got into me.
