The Heartborn Mate

by D. Brumbley

  Their senses were at their sharpest, their power almost painful as it pushed at them from within. Most wolves around them had already shifted in preparation for the onset, and Nick normally would have as well, but for some reason he was resisting it that night. He stepped closer to her, fighting the urge that was rising up in him to break his human form and run on four legs until the moon took hold completely. “That’s how I want to die someday. Not in battle, not because my son felt he could rule better than I could, but in peace, at the end of a long life with the ones I love.”

  Slowly she lifted up her hand and caressed the side of his face. “That’s a beautiful death to want.”

  “No.” He said calmly, his voice not betraying how much of a struggle it was to keep himself calm at the moment. “It’s an unlikely one.”

  “That’s not true.” She said softly as she only moved a step closer. “It wouldn’t hurt so much to want it if you really believed that you couldn’t have it.”

  “Maybe not.” He said without moving away, sighing once almost in defeat as a spike of power went through them both, the first of many warnings the moon always gave those who were resisting its pull and remaining human as it rose. He ran a hand up her arm as he looked down at her, his fingers trailing up to her shoulder over the fabric of the dress she wore. Slowly, his fingers went down over her collarbone to the first button in the center of her chest and undid it for her, his fingers going to the second as his eyes met hers again.

  Her heart started to race as he touched her, but she only moved closer so that he could continue. Her eyes remained glued to his beautifully intricate hazel ones, and her hand that had been on the side of his face dropped to the side of his neck, her fingertips caressing his bare skin before her hand dropped again to the edge of his shirt. Zara tugged it upwards slightly so that her fingers could run across his stomach and around his belt without actually touching it.

  When she did so, he obligingly lifted up his arms so that she could get his shirt off, then stepped in closer to her to continue with her dress, barely a hand’s space between them. It was the first time she’d seen him without a shirt on, and the chain tattoos that wound around his shoulders and arms looked almost more real than those that formed the fence beside them, moving with their own life along his skin.

  Both of her hands moved to trace the ink on his skin while he continued his torturous pace of undressing her. The need to shift was burning at her muscles, but she kept fighting it to continue the moment with him. After her last button came undone, all it took was a shrug for the dress to fall to her feet. When she stood there completely exposed to him, she looked up into his face again as her hands went further to help him get completely undressed.

  He didn’t stop her, having no need to hide himself from another wolf, and enjoying the fact that she was so unabashed about herself as well. As she stood back up, his fingers traced over her arm, completely unmarked by scars or tattoos or any other blemishes that he could see, and he could see all there was of her to be seen.

  With only a moment’s hesitation, his fingers ran over the frail gold chain she wore at all times around her neck, unclasping the pendant without breaking eye contact. With a smooth gesture, he tossed the chain up to the top of the barrier wall, where the tiny golden links tangled themselves with the steel links of the fence. He’d retrieve it for her when the Fulness had passed.

  When he looked back at her, she could hear his thoughts take her in, the simple perfection of everything about her. Her only adornments were her eyes, each a more beautiful gem than the one fastened in her pendant. You are beautiful, Zara. She could hear the simple honesty of his thoughts as he appreciated the sight of her, wanting her to know what he thought of her as clearly as he could make it known.

  Zara dared to step in closer to him still, their bodies nearly touching. He could hear her thoughts as well, her sincere desire for him as well as her attraction to him. He was strong and sure, and she wanted to help him feel even more so. Be with me. She traced a single finger along his bottom lip. All I can think about is how much I’m drawn to you. I feel like I need you.

  She could feel how much he wanted to give in to her at that moment, but even as he leaned in towards her, his hands along her waist, he shook his head, his nose very nearly brushing hers. Not on the Fulness. Not like this. His nose actually touched hers at that point, as he drew her in against him lightly. After…He could feel her take in a sharp breath as their noses touched, as he drew her in and their skin barely touched in all sorts of places.

  She couldn’t completely resist him, so she leaned in and stole a kiss. As soon as their lips touched, Nick understood, at last, everything he’d ever heard about Heartborn. Even the simple touch was intoxicating for both of them. Her power, heightened by the Fulness that was pulling at them from every direction, rippled through him and made him aware of how much she wanted him in ways that weren’t possible with any other kind of wolf.

  He returned the kiss, and his fingers dug into her skin as the sensation rocked through him. It didn’t last long, though, before he had to actually push himself away from her to shift, falling backward away from her on all fours as he allowed the Fulness to draw out the wolf within him. He wasn’t an especially large wolf, but he was much more obviously strong as a wolf than he was as a human, with short fur the same dirty brown color as his hair. There were spots of blonde above his shoulders and in a line down his back that generally faded into his hair when he was human, but were much more pronounced otherwise. He looked back up at her as if waiting for her to follow him, but she could feel him taking in another long look at her form in the newly-risen moonlight.

  It was only moments after him that the Fulness took her as well, and gracefully she shifted into a smaller dark brown wolf. Her fur was just as unblemished as her body, a solid brown color that actually shimmered a little in the moonlight from the gloss that was similar to the gloss in her hair.

  As a wolf she went over to him and licked the side of his muzzle and then she buried her face into the side of his neck for a moment, inhaling the scent of him. I’m running out of patience already.

  So was he, but he couldn’t afford to admit that at the moment. It would be too much of a risk, and he had to stay clear-headed enough to remember that, for the next two days at least. Run with me instead, then. He answered her kiss, then ran off towards the center of the compound. Other wolves were already starting to raise a cry in the chaos the Fulness brought about in their kind, impromptu races and games of all kinds breaking out as the moon took hold of them all.

  Zara barked a few times in something that resembled a giggle and she took off running after him, since races and games were one of the most fun things of the Fulness. If she couldn’t convince him with her first choice of activity, she could accept the second best. For a few days, at least.

  * * * * *

  Outside the compound in their home without windows, Orlando rested his head on one of the pillows of their bed, his fur sighing against the singed black fabric as he sighed out the deep breath he’d taken before he shifted. He should’ve known better than to fear it that time, he was so completely filled with energy, but the anxiety of the Fulness wasn’t something that was likely to go away just in a single month, no matter how good that month had been.

  Are you alright? He asked her as she jumped up onto the bed with him, her fur still the only source of light in the dark room.

  Candra circled around a few times, then plopped down right next to him and snuggled close. She licked his face a few times and then nodded. I’m always alright this way. I like being a wolf, remember?

  I thought you preferred being human? “Especially recently,” he thought to himself, but didn’t say so, even silently.

  I like being human too. I just didn’t know that it could be as easy as it is. With you. I’m used to being a wolf out in the open.

  He licked her fur and adjusted the pillow beneath them so it was beneath her head as well, staying ri
ght up against her without even considering moving away. The Fulness has never been like this for me. I’m usually…or…I was usually never a wolf unless it was on a night of the Fulness. I never had enough power to be one, unless I’d just been a part of a lightning storm. Even then…those were not fond memories for him, and she could hear the pain in his tone.

  Candra rested her head on top of his paws. She loved everything about being near him, and the more she got to know him, the more she realized that it wasn’t just about the attraction they were born to have with each other. Orlando was kind and gentle, and he was always as concerned about her as he was fun and funny. He was everything she had ever wanted in a friend and more. It was easy to want to be around him. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.

  So you keep reminding me. She could feel the smile in his words as he bit playfully just behind her ear where he knew she was ticklish.

  Candra barked as she tried to roll away from his attack, but she only rolled inches away. Hey!

  Hey, you knew the risks when you signed on here. I’m a wild animal. And I do bite on occasion. Orlando continued to tease her unrelentingly.

  Candra tried biting him back in places that she had discovered were a bit ticklish on him as well, but he was adept at dodging her. She was learning all sorts of things about him, and about herself. Two can play at that game.

  They were interrupted in their game by the sound of howling outside the house, and a loud chaos of barks and yips that carried even through the windowless walls of their home. He stopped and his ears perked up to listen as he stood on the bed, looking out at the wall where the sounds were just beyond their home. Moving with her, he jumped down off the bed and walked into their outer room, which had a single window with blackout drapes over it. With one claw, he undid the tie of them and let them roll up, so that he could see the wall to the compound nearby.

  Beyond the fence, the world was a mass of fur and teeth and claws and twisted metal. Any human passing by would have thought the fence was a cage to keep the animals in as they ran mad, but it was actually the opposite, built to keep the rest of the world from getting hurt inadvertently by the insanity let loose every month.

  Candra stood beside him and watched, but she had to back up a little bit in fear after only a few moments. They aren’t going to get out, right?

  No. He turned around and licked her face once in encouragement and comfort, then looked back out the window. They built the fence themselves. They know their own boundaries when they set them.

  Candra didn’t really know what to think about the chaos, since she had never seen anything quite like it. The Fulness for her was always spent in her room in the Council chambers, by herself, possibly with neighbors in the rooms around her, sometimes not. Are all wolves like that a lot?

  No. He laughed a little as he said it. No, they’re usually much wilder than this lot.

  She couldn’t really help feeling a little horrified, and her eyes widened a little as she looked at him. Really? That’s…terrifying. How are you supposed to protect yourself?

  He couldn’t help the sadness in his voice as he answered. You learn to run. Fast. And you learn who you can trust to run with you. He looked back at her, turning his back on the raging pack nearby. It’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s just the way the world is. You of all people don’t need to be afraid of it.

  I don’t need to be afraid of it? She looked past him at the insanity caged in not far from them. They could tear me to pieces. Or worse. The warning of the masters in the past rang loudly in her head. The ‘or worse’ was mainly about being around males during the Fulness, and there she was, standing in close proximity to one.

  He looked at her for a moment and then stood out of her way so that she could step up next to him by the window, nodding out at the mass of bodies. Do you see all those people out there? Every one of them, no matter what color their eyes are, all of them put together, even including the Heartborn bitch who switched sides from your masters to be here, he turned to face her again, meeting her eyes, all of them together are still weaker than you are on your weakest day. You could overwhelm any one of them with a single scratch.

  Not you. Candra countered, since Orlando was her match, her other piece, in every single way.

  That was a fair enough point, and so he had to shrug his agreement. I tend to be an exception to most rules, you’ll find.

  I know. She licked his face and then met his eyes and stared into them for a moment. I know that this is crazy. I barely know you in some ways. It hasn’t even been…but I…I think I love you.

  I know. She could feel his smile as he returned the kiss with a lick of his own. You talk in your sleep.

  Oh. Well, that ruins the moment. I thought I was being original.

  He licked her face again and closed his eyes against her fur as he spoke. It was original anyway. Because as much as you talk in your sleep, you don’t listen very well. Since you didn’t seem to hear me when I answered and told you I felt the same way.

  Really? It almost seemed like her eyes became even brighter and she licked him several more times as she buried her face into his fur excitedly, her whole body trembling with emotion.

  A few bits of laughter actually escaped him as yips at her enthusiasm, despite the small note of resolution and sadness in his tone when he’d said it. It’s not like you’re a terribly difficult person to love, you know. Which was true, she wasn’t. For a while, he had worried that she was more or less than she appeared to be, feigning surprise and shock with all the realities of the world outside her prison cell beneath Geneva. But he had been around her for too long and answered too many of her questions to think she was anything but completely earnest in her curiosity and her ignorance about the world in general. She was just so…innocent about everything in life, and yet so excited about it all at the same time. She was everything that the wandering years of his life had made him forget how to be.

  Candra couldn’t help but bark a few times in her continued excitement, and then she pounced on him, pinning him down to the floor with a playful growl. She was just so happy that she was bursting with energy, the type that didn’t have anything to do with the light, and that was the type that she actually liked. That makes me so happy!

  They wrestled and chased each other around the house for what seemed like hours after that, leaving the entire place in shambles as chairs and tables were overturned, rugs torn to pieces by their claws and most lamps knocked from most tables as they danced away from each other. Always they ended up rolling across the floor, wrapped up in a glittering web of light punctuated by the sparks that flew between his fur and everything he touched, including her. Nothing in the house was safe as they attacked each other, never to run out of energy or fits of laughter between them.

  They ended up tumbling into a corner that had already been cleared of the chair that was there previously, and she was starting to tire, though just barely. She landed in a heap on top of him, and for the moment, she didn’t even move.

  Nothing I read prepared me for this. It didn’t prepare me for the way I feel being close to you. It didn’t prepare me for all the things I didn’t know. It didn’t prepare me for how happy I could feel away from everything I’ve ever known.

  Some things I don’t think you’re supposed to be prepared for. He nuzzled his face against her neck, feeling the same kind of peaceful exhaustion coming over him as it was over her.

  What else should I look out for? Candra asked curiously, but she was always full of questions.

  I don’t think I even know. You’ll just have to let me know when things surprise you. He laughed. Which I imagine will be pretty often, considering your past experience.

  She pressed her nose to his for a moment and then she licked him again. How old are you, anyway? Candra never thought to ask before, but now the thought crossed her mind and she wanted to know.

  That question made him laugh even more. Please make sure you really want to know before you ask that qu
estion.

  I do. Come on, tell me.

  He sighed. I’ll be seventy-six in three months.

  Candra was definitely surprised, but she just started barking in giggles after her eyes widened. Wow. You’re old. He wasn’t, really, with at least two centuries left in his life at the conservative end of their usual life expectancy, but he was nearly a third of the way through his lifespan.

  Orlando just rolled his eyes. I’m aware of that, trust me. He licked the side of her face after he spoke. But I feel like I’m still your age. Even though I’m not. My brothers used to tell me that they’d heard wolves like me live longer than most. About as long as wolves like you, even though you still weren’t supposed to exist.

  I’m nineteen. She said to add insult to injury about his age, but obviously the gap didn’t bother her.

  I know. He sighed again and laid down a few inches from her. Which, according to most, makes me a very, very dirty old man.

  Why does it make you dirty? You haven’t done anything. Candra cocked her head in confusion, since he was very respectful toward her and the relationship between them.

  Yet. He left a kiss on her cheek that came with a slow jolt of power that ran the length of her fur down her spine.

  Candra trembled and shook out her fur, but she liked the feeling of it, the feeling of him and his power. She snuggled even closer to him, and then looked into the depthless, dark eyes that she loved so much. Yet? Really?

  Really. He pulled her back against him with a paw, and looked up at the window, barely visible from where they were but already beginning to lighten against the darkness of their home around it.

  She curled into him and felt even more excited, even though she was scared too. She wanted intimacy with Orlando, but she also knew that he had to be ready too. They both had to be ready, and his heart was still recovering from Aura. I don’t really know how to do any of that. The books don’t really give pictures that might be helpful.

  He laughed again at that, and at her innocence. Some books do, but I imagine they didn’t exactly give you those books down there.