A Gray Christmas

by S. E. Roberts

  “You really have no idea, do you?”

  I raise my eyebrows in question. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  He stands from the couch and starts pacing the room, which isn’t helping with my nerves. I decide not to tell him to sit down because there’s obviously something important on his mind.

  After what feels like forever, he sits back down.

  He exhales heavily, and then the words spill out of his mouth.

  “I liked you, and I didn’t want my fucking friend having you instead.” As soon as he says it, I can tell that he has surprised himself.

  He liked me?

  “What?” I ask on a whisper. “Why wouldn’t you tell me that?” Now my words come out on a choke. I liked him for years but didn’t think I had a chance with him. Now I find out that we could have been together, but neither of us did anything about it.

  He grabs the back of his neck.

  “I don’t think I ever stopped having feelings for you.”

  The room starts to spin. I don’t know if I should kiss him or be pissed at him for keeping this from me. But aren’t I just as guilty as he is?

  I stare at him in disbelief. “You acted like I was the biggest pain in your ass. Especially when you had friends over.”

  He scoffs. “Yeah, because they were always making comments about my sister’s hot best friend.”

  “And you were jealous?”

  “Hell yes, I was. And I was fucking jealous the entire time you were with that asshole. That’s why I didn’t stay in touch with Ty. I didn’t think I could face him while you were together.”

  Now it’s my turn to jump from the couch. I pull at my hair in frustration.

  “Why wouldn’t you tell me this?” I repeat.

  I look down at him, waiting for an answer, and I see the shock etched on his handsome face.

  “Would it have mattered? You seemed damn head over heels for him.”

  “Yes!” I say probably way too loud, considering my best friend is in the other room most likely hearing every word of our conversation. I have no idea how she’d react to any of this.

  He stands to his feet and immediately pulls me into his arms for a tight hug. Next, he grabs my face with his big hands and looks me straight in the eyes.

  “Did you feel the same way?”

  I only nod in response, because it’s clear he already knows the answer. The smile on his face tells me he’s happy about the news.

  “Do you still love him?”

  “I don’t think I ever did.”

  His face inches closer to mine, and my breath nearly stops. I’ve never wanted anything more in life than I want him to kiss me.

  “Nora?” he asks.

  “Yeah?” I whisper up at him, and I’m sure he can hear the shake in my voice.

  “I’m going to kiss you, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  I barely get the word out before his warm, soft lips land on mine. They feel like velvet, and if I died right now, I’d die a happy woman. He runs his hand through my hair and lightly tugs, causing a moan to escape me. If I wasn’t so caught up in this man, I’d probably have more dignity, but I can’t bring myself to care at the moment.

  The next thing I know, he’s walking us to the couch, but instead of sitting me next to him, he places me on his lap so I’m facing him. The bulge under his pajama pants does not go unnoticed. I want so bad to feel him up, but I’m a bit embarrassed at how much I want him. He probably thinks I’m acting like a horny teenager.

  His tongue finds mine as we continue to make out, and then he pulls back with a grin on his sexy face.

  “Damn.” He kisses the top of my nose. “I knew it would be good, but I didn’t know it would be that good.”

  I blush at his words. I’m freaking twenty-six years old. Why am I blushing?

  “You- you thought about kissing me?” I know I shouldn’t be surprised after what he just confessed, but I think I’m in shock.

  “You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?” When I don’t answer, he goes on. “Nora, you are the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever known, and yeah, I’ve most definitely thought about kissing you.”

  I don’t even know what to say to that. “I, uh,” I mumble out and pull myself off his lap, and he reluctantly lets me go. I jump to my feet and run my hand through my hair. “Jesus,” I say to myself, but I’m pretty sure he heard me. “I need to go to bed.”

  I turn on my heels fast, as if my ass is on fire, and make my way back to Maren’s room. I hear Gray calling my name but ignore him.

  What have I done? My best friend is going to kill me if she ever finds out that I was just mauling her brother’s face on their couch. She’s always telling me she wants me to be happy, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean with her freaking brother. Shit.

  Chapter 3

  The alarm on my phone blares, and I groan in protest as I reach for it.

  “It’s too freaking early.”

  I’m supposed to be getting up to go for a boat tour with Maren in an hour. As much as I want to spend the day with her, her bed is awfully warm, and it’s very tempting to fall back to sleep.

  I feel bad for sleeping so late, but after not being able to sleep last night, it was inevitable that I wouldn’t be waking with the sun today.

  Everything from last night, well, this morning, comes crashing back to me. Grayson freaking Pierce kissed me, and I let him. What the hell was I thinking? I felt like a bitch for running away from him like I did, but I didn’t know what else to do. Isn’t “no kissing your best friend’s brother” like rule number one in the bestie handbook? If not, I’m sure it’s up there somewhere at the top.

  Against my better judgement, I slowly crawl out of bed before grabbing my shower things, and then I quietly make my way across the hallway to the bathroom. I’d die for some coffee about now, but I’m not ready to face anyone yet, and I think hot water may help calm my nerves a bit.

  I let the scalding stream relax me as I wash my hair and then quickly soap up my body.

  Will Maren ever forgive me? It’s a given that I have to tell her what I did with her brother. Or, I guess I could place the blame on him, right? I mean, he’s the one that kissed me. Not that I protested, but that’s beside the point. It’s all his fault. Yep, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

  Fuck.

  But that kiss was the best one I’ve ever experienced. I was with Tyler for years and never was kissing him anything like that. He wasn’t much for intimacy, which should have been a red flag from the beginning. I was a dumb teenager when we first started dating. But I should have known better as we got older. I can’t believe I wasted so much time on that idiot.

  I hop out of the tiny stall and dry off before wrapping my hair in a towel. Shit. I forgot to grab my clothes before coming in here. I’m going to have to use my ninja skills to get back to Mare’s bedroom. If I knew Gray was gone, I wouldn’t even care, but I’m not letting that man see me like this. Especially after last night.

  I glance at myself in the mirror, my icy-blue eyes shining with more happiness than I’ve seen in a long time. I’d only be lying to myself if I said Gray didn’t have something to do with that.

  I carefully open the large wooden door, and just my luck, the dumb thing creaks like the rest of the old building. I poke my head out and look left and then right, and when I see that all is clear, I tiptoe back to Maren’s room.

  “Are you going to spend the next two weeks avoiding me?”

  Apparently, I wasn’t being as sly as I thought. I huff and refuse to look at him.

  “If you don’t mind, I’m kind of indecent.”

  I continue to my destination, but of course, he isn’t having it.

  “You’re the one running around in my apartment naked.”

  I grab the doorknob and then turn to glare at him. “You need your eyes checked. Or maybe you’ve never seen a naked woman.” The thought of him with another woman makes me want to throw up my
empty stomach.

  “You’re hilarious.” He makes his way toward me, but instead of turning into the room, I stand frozen. “Are we going to address the huge ass elephant in the room?” He’s now standing behind me and spins me around to face him. I can feel his breath on me, causing an ache between my legs. Damn him.

  “What are you talking about?” I ask, knowing full well what he’s talking about, but I’m not ready to discuss this with him.

  “Hmm…” he places his finger under his chin as if he’s deep in thought. “Maybe the fact that you attacked my face with your mouth and then ran away, leaving me wondering what the hell was going through your head.” He taps on my head gently with one finger, and I try to move away from him, but I’m halted by the door.

  “I… um…” I stutter. “We shouldn’t have done that last night,” I whisper, in fear of Maren hearing us. What would she think if she saw me standing nearly naked in front of her brother?

  “Done what?” He smirks at me. Smirks! The asshole.

  “You shouldn’t have kissed me,” I rush out, feeling like a child who’s about to get caught sneaking in the cookie jar.

  He tosses his head back in a laugh, and damn it if his freaking Adam’s apple isn’t sexy as hell.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask, placing my hands on my hips. This is a foolish move because now my towel is starting to slide down my wet body, and the stupidly sexy man in front of me is about to get a peek of what’s underneath. I adjust it when I notice him eyeing me like a perv.

  “I’m up here, mister.” I point to my eyes and try my best to glare at him, which causes him to laugh even harder.

  He shrugs as if checking me out is no big deal. It’s a huge ass deal, and I need to be done with this conversation so I can get some freaking clothes on.

  “Why shouldn’t I have kissed you?” he asks, now looking more serious. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long damn time. I wasn’t passing up another chance.”

  I look down the hallway, making sure we’re still alone.

  “What are you looking for?” He raises his eyebrows in question. “You know Mare isn’t here, right?”

  “What?” I shriek. “We were supposed to go on a boat tour this morning. Where is she?” I really am disappointed. I was looking forward to spending the day with her doing some sightseeing.

  “She got called into work early this morning. But don’t worry.” He tucks a wet strand of hair behind my ear before kissing the corner of my mouth. His lips drive me crazy, and I don’t know how much longer I can fight him about this. “I’m going to take you on your tour.”

  “But I wanted to spend the day with my bestie.” I whine like a two-year-old, even adding in a little foot stomp for effect.

  He grins in amusement as he turns from me, obviously entertained by my dramatics.

  “As much as I like looking at you in next to nothing, put some clothes on. It’s cold out there,” he throws over his shoulder.

  I stand in the middle of the hallway with my mouth nearly hitting the floor. Did he seriously just say that? I’m in so much trouble.

  Chapter 4

  “If I would have planned this for you, we would have taken a private gondola ride.” Gray squeezes my arm from beside me on the tour boat. His words warm me, even though I’ve been doing my best to avoid conversation since our earlier chat in the hallway, while I was half naked.

  We just boarded ten minutes ago, and the sights have already been breathtaking.

  “This is perfect. I just wish the pictures I am taking could do it justice.”

  Just as I say the words, he picks up his camera from around his neck and snaps a picture of something behind me, and I feel ridiculous using my phone to capture the beauty of this place.

  “We need to get you a real camera.” He smirks.

  “Hey, don’t bash the iPhone.”

  “You think the wedding I’m doing next weekend would mind if I used my phone instead?”

  “You should totally try.” I nudge him in the side, and he grabs my arm, and when I look up at him, I see the seriousness in his face.

  “Do you really think kissing me was a mistake?” He searches my eyes for an answer, and I can feel my throat starting to close up. Having him in my space like this does things to me, but his question also takes me by surprise. I try to pull away from his hold, but he doesn’t allow it.

  “Gray, Maren is my best friend. I would never want to do something that would upset her. We hardly get to see each other, and I really don’t want to ruin the short amount of time I have with her.”

  He throws his head against the back of his seat.

  “If Mare didn’t care, would you give us a chance?”

  I had never considered giving us a chance; one, because he was older than me in school, but also the obvious. Even so, I don’t have to think about his question.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  He leans into me and grips my face with his hands.

  “Then let me deal with her. She loves us both, and I know she wants us to be happy.”

  “I’ve been best friends with her since junior high. I couldn’t live with her hating me.”

  Then like a ton of bricks, reality comes crashing down on me. How could I have forgotten such a huge detail? I turn toward the window, suddenly getting the urge to cry, but I really don’t want him to see me break down. Nothing like ruining what’s supposed to be an amazing trip.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” He gently guides my face to look at him again.

  “Last night when I saw you, the feelings I had for you all those years ago came rushing back to me the instant I walked through your door.”

  “So, what’s the problem? I’ve already seen you mostly naked.” He bumps me with his elbow. “By the way, I liked what I saw.” He winks, which has me feeling a little better.

  “Did you forget that I live a world away from you? There’s no way we could ever make this work, even if Maren wanted us to.”

  He smiles, which kind of pisses me off, because I’m about to cry my eyes out in front of this guy, and he doesn’t seem to care that I’m a mess. Then it dawns on me that maybe I completely misunderstood him.

  “I’m not having a fling with you.” I bite the words out, and suddenly instead of crying, I have the urge to puke. How could I have been so stupid?

  “What? No.” He shakes his head. “I’m not looking to just hook up with you and then send you home in two weeks.” He runs his hand through my hair. “Even if I wanted that, which I don’t. I could never treat you like that, Nora. Ever.”

  His words touch me, but they don’t solve the problem of us living on completely different continents.

  “Then how would we ever make this work?” There’s no way we could ever make this work.

  “What if I told you I’m moving back to Wimberley?” The stupid butterflies go off in my stomach again. Calm down, Nora.

  “What? Are you serious? Like you’ve been planning this?” After spending time with him, I know I want to be with him, but I’d hate for him to move home just for me. What if this doesn’t even work out between us?

  “Yeah.” His smile grows. “I was offered a job at Edgar Photography doing weddings.”

  “That’s awesome!” I clap my hands like an idiot, but I really am happy for him. He’s always loved photography. “And that’s what you really want to do?” I wave my hand in the air. “Look at this place, Gray. You’d be giving up so much.”

  “It is amazing here, but I think I’ve been away for long enough. Mom has been begging me to come home, plus, I really do miss everyone there.” He grasps my face with both his hands, and his green eyes nearly steal my breath away. “And there’s a certain blonde I would more than love to be with every day and see where this thing goes between us.” Swoon.

  “But what if we don’t work out? Will you be upset that you went home?”

  “Don’t shoot this down before we’ve even tried, Nor.” He kisses the corner of my mouth, and I really wa
nt to tell the captain to let us off now so we can go back to his apartment. “But I was already planning this, so no, I wouldn’t be mad.”

  “Okay, but what about Mare?”

  “I’ll talk to her if you want. I really don’t give a damn, but if it makes you feel better, I’ll handle it.”

  “No. I think we should both tell her, but let’s wait. What if you get sick of me before I even go home?”

  “No way in hell will that happen, but yeah. We can wait if that’s what you want to do.”

  “So, are you like my boyfriend now?” I waggle my brows at him.

  “I’m whatever you want to call me.” Apparently, he’s done talking because he wastes no time before his mouth is covering mine again. How could I have doubted this? I feel like I’m in a dream. Grayson Pierce is kissing me. God, I hope I never wake up.

  We continue down the canal and pass gorgeous churches, palaces, and bridges like I’ve never seen before. Everything is so surreal, and I can’t believe I’m actually here. This is the stuff you only see in movies.

  After an hour, the boat docks, and Gray reaches his hand out to help me off.

  “Such a gentleman.”

  He doesn’t let my hand go as we walk along the dock. I really can’t say I mind.

  “Nora Watson, I’m far from a gentleman.”

  The way the words tumble from his mouth have me about to combust.

  “Whatever do you mean?” I playfully bat my eyes at him.

  He hauls me behind him through a crowd of tourists, and I have no idea where he’s leading me, but honestly, I can’t bring myself to care.

  We pass by what appears to be a quaint little coffee shop, and the next thing I know, I’m being pushed up against the side of the building. I can’t catch my breath as he towers over me, staring me down as if his life depends on it.

  “What are you doing?” I rasp out. I should be ashamed of how I’m acting, but he’s being so alpha, and it’s a damn turn-on.

  “You’re driving me fucking crazy with these skintight jeans and sweater that are giving me very inappropriate thoughts about what’s underneath,” he whispers seductively into my ear. He’s causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand at attention, and I try to cross my legs to relieve some of the pressure between them, but I can’t because he’s standing so close to me. It shouldn’t surprise me how blunt he’s being, but it does.