Party Hard

by David Petrie

  "Umm," Corvin spoke up, clearly waiting for a moment to break into the levity. "I could be wrong, but if Carver is working off the same list that most television and games use for the horsemen, that means that we are either here to fight War or Death. And I'm guessing from the frozen bodies and overall depressing tone here, that this is where we'll find death."

  "Yeah, probably." Max leaned on one hand with little enthusiasm.

  Corvin paused. "So if that's the case, we might want to go to the castle's crypt. There is one, right?"

  Kira made a face at Max that seemed to question him for not thinking of it.

  He ignored her. "Good idea." He scratched his head, trying to remember how to get there. "We just go down, I think."

  “Oh, that helps,” Ginger criticized.

  “Yeah, not vague at all,” Kegan added.

  Kira and Farn snickered.

  Max groaned and pushed himself up from the throne. It was going to be a long walk.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Kira trailed behind with Farn as Max led them down several wrong turns. She made a point of asking him questions like, "Are we there yet?" and, "Are you sure you know where you're going?"

  His eyebrow twitched, though he never brought up the fact that she had been there as much as he had and that she was just as lost, which would have been accurate. That was when the spherical form of an ice poplo rolled in behind them as they triggered an ambush attack. Max slapped a hand to his face.

  Kira opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off.

  "I know, I forgot about it," he said between his fingers as they rested against his shaking head.

  Kira let out a chuckle. "It's cool. I did too."

  As far as monsters went, poplos were kind of silly since they were nothing more than a big elemental ball and their faces were always different. Some were cute; some were scary. They were pretty much the jack-o'-lantern of Noctem's monsters.

  This one made an attempt to look frightening, but the positioning of one of its eyes, sitting a bit lower than the other, made it appear sort of dumb. They were probably added to the area to help counteract the overall dreary feeling of the place and keep it from becoming too depressing. Although, with an arsenal of ice spells and the ability to give frost status on contact, they were no pushovers. At least, they weren't the last time Kira had been there, but after two years, the creature was around a hundred levels below her party's. Therefore, it was soon reduced to a melting pile of snow. Afterward, they pushed on, encountering a few more of the things as they searched. Each time, their rotund aggressors met the same end. One was even cleaved clean in two by Farn with a single strike. Its face looked a bit confused as it parted in the middle.

  This continued until Corvin spotted a spiral stairway leading down. It was there that the poplos got the last laugh by spawning at the top and chasing the team down comically. The group toppled on top of each other in a lump as a couple of the monsters rolled over them at the bottom.

  Kira let out a muffled protest from underneath Max and Farn, who had thrown themselves on top of her to keep the bouncing balls of snow from touching her. Their skin turned a light shade of blue for a minute, and they gained a significant weakness to ice attacks from the resulting status effect - though Kira removed it before they had time to worry about it.

  After having dealt with the oversized snowballs, Kira found herself in a dim crypt, their destination apparently reached. They recovered and continued their search without skipping a beat, clearing out a few weak enemies under the incandescent crystals of ice that lit their way.

  Despite being a place filled with death and loss, the gentle blue glow reflecting off patches of frost was almost beautiful. There was a peace to the place that Kira found calming as they proceeded down the main corridor to stand before the largest of the area's tombs. It belonged to Eustace Alderth's father, who had ruled over the castle before him. If they hadn't already beaten the dungeon, they would've had to fight the old man's ghost, but since they had, all they found was his grave.

  Kegan gave a short bow, placing one hand across his chest. "You gotta feel bad for the guy. His own son destroyed everything he cared about."

  Kira bowed as well. It was a respectful gesture for a man that never existed.

  Finding nothing other than pity at the large tomb, the others spread out to search the rest of the crypt. It didn't take long for them to find a clue.

  "Hey, what does this look like to you?" Kegan stood under an archway leading to a side path, his finger pointing up at a small bell hanging in the center.

  Max stepped closer to examine it. "That looks like the bell we fought in the Famine dungeon."

  "Probably means we go that way," Farn tapped it with her sword so that it rang as she passed under it.

  The others split up to search the tombs that lined the narrow passage, reading the text on each for a hint. Kira noticed Farn sticking close her as if she wanted to be near, just in case something happened. A moment later, the Shield stopped in front of a small alcove.

  "That's odd." Farn rested a hand on her chin.

  "What?" Kira scanned the space up and down.

  It didn't contain anything out of the ordinary, just a wide tombstone with a statue of a young woman on top. Although, it was strange that the figure sat with its back to the viewer, its face turned away toward the wall as if looking at something of interest.

  Farn pointed down with an armored finger at the simple line of text inscribed on the stone. "There's no name or date on this one."

  Kira raised an eyebrow as she read it. "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." It sounded like some kind of quote, though she didn't know where from. She pondered its meaning but was distracted as she noticed a circular marking on the wall behind it in the direction of where the statue was facing.

  Farn noticed it too, stepping past the stone to investigate. Kira took a step back as the Shield pushed on it with one hand. When nothing happened, Farn went ahead and rapped on it with the back of her gauntlet, like she was knocking on a door. Again, nothing. She shrugged and turned around to leave. Then she froze.

  "What is it?" Kira asked as a shiver crawled across her skin.

  Farn didn't answer her. Instead, she just called out to the others, "Guys! I think I found something!"

  Max and the rest fell in behind Kira, forcing her to step closer to the stone. Each of them glanced at the inscription.

  "It's Mark Twain, I think," Corvin said, inadvertently demonstrating that despite being younger than Kira, he might also have been smarter.

  Farn shook her head. "Not that." She pointed to the statue sitting on top, its back to the others. "This."

  Kira's eyes fell to the woman on the stone. Like many statues in the crypt, it was nude with sculpted stone made to look like cloth draped around it, probably to keep it from being too risqué for the game's overall rating. The figure leaned on one arm and clutched the cloth to its chest with the other, its gracefully curved back fully exposed. It almost seemed alive, as if it might take a breath at any second.

  She had passed by the figure before, more than once even. It was just a statue. She had never given it a second thought or even a first thought. It was background, nothing more, but background or not, Farn was staring at it like it was something otherworldly.

  The others squeezed in closer, and Kira stepped around the stone to make room. She fell backward as soon as she did, gasping as Farn caught her. She continued to step away from the stone until she ran out of room, her back pressed against Farn's armor, the Shield holding her shoulders for support. A muffled sound escaped through her fingers as she clasped her hands over her mouth, her own face looking back, carved in stone.

  Its head was cocked to the side in an almost friendly manner while amethyst crystals sparkled in its eyes, filling its expression with life. A replica of her unwanted pendant hung around its neck.

  "No way," Max said in a hushed tone
as he joined her.

  Kira removed her hands from her mouth. "How?" was all she could get out, but the implications of the word were clear.

  Corvin brushed a hand against his chin. "This castle was part of the first expansion. That was two and a half years ago."

  "Oh god." Farn tightened her grip on Kira's shoulders. "Carver knew it would be her from the start."

  "He must have picked her back then," Corvin added.

  "Why me?" Kira dropped her eyes to the stone the statue sat upon. "My willpower stat isn't even that high." She lifted her face toward Max. "Yours is almost double."

  His expression turned with a sudden twist, bearing his teeth as a growl rose in his throat. "Damn it!" He slammed the side of his fist against the wall. "There has to be something Alastair's not telling us. There's no way he didn't know about this."

  Ginger looked over Kira's stone doppelgänger. "How did he get it to look so real?"

  "It's probably a copy of her avatar rendered in a different material," Corvin explained while reaching toward the statue's slender back. He stopped just before touching it, pulling his hand back as if it might burn him.

  Kira shuddered as she imagined Carver positioning her naked body on the stone like a doll and draping only a sheet around her for clothing. A part of her felt violated, although she knew she shouldn't. It wasn’t real, but real or not, she had been sitting there on that stone for over two years, alone in the crypt. She had even passed by herself and hadn't noticed. Even if she had, she just would have ignored it as a coincidence. Her eyes started to well up, but she shoved the emotion back down before she fell apart.

  Max's face softened, and he stepped to her, holding up a finger in her face that snapped her back to him. "This doesn't change anything. You got that? We're still just here to kick Death's ass and save the world, nothing more."

  Kira understood what he was trying to do. It was just like when he had called out to her while she crawled through that claustrophobic passage in the last dungeon, like he knew she was teetering on the edge. She closed her eyes and took a breath, letting his words sink in. Then she snorted. "Well, aren't you sounding heroic." She forced a laugh, unable to remove the quiver in her voice. She shook her head, feeling stupid at her lack of control. "Sorry, this quest is really screwing me up." She lowered her head.

  Ginger stepped forward, putting her arms around both Kira and Max before pulling the two figurative brothers close and tussling their hair playfully. "It's okay; I like you when you're all fragile. It makes your cuteness tolerable, and Max is kind of hot when he gets protective."

  Kira groaned in unison with Max, and they pushed her away in a unified effort.

  Ginger laughed, bringing back some of the light-hearted mood from before so that Kira could move on.

  She did her best to ignore the face staring back at her as she forced her own to harden with determination, only wavering a little. "Okay, we're here because Carver thinks we're badass enough to fight Death. I gotta start acting like it."

  Max slapped her on the back and gave her an encouraging, "Damn right!"

  She stumbled from the sudden impact and responded by punching him in the arm before turning back to the statue. "No more being a baby. Let's get this done." Her words did their best to chase away the fear in her voice, and the party got behind her, both figuratively and literally, as they packed into the small alcove. An awkward moment passed before Kira spoke again, "Now, does anyone know what I'm supposed to do?"

  The group released a collective breath.

  "That was anticlimactic," Kegan commented.

  "I don't see you doing anything." Kira glared at him over her shoulder before shrugging. "Any ideas?"

  "Try touching it," Corvin suggested.

  "Yeah! Touch it everywhere," Kegan added.

  "Touch all the things!" Farn raised a fist in the air.

  Kira placed her hands on her double's shoulders, its gray skin feeling warm under her palms as if it was immune to the cold just as she was. Nothing happened. She ran her fingers along its collarbone and onto the pendant. Still nothing. She poked it in the eyes, Three Stooges style, being sure to accompany it with the appropriate comedic sounds. Clearly, that wasn't the answer.

  The others watched her as she groped herself all over, bursting into laughter behind her several times.

  She pushed it, pulled it, slapped it, and even gave it a kiss on the mouth, which had been Kegan's suggestion, but after everything, still, nothing happened. Finally, she plopped herself down on the tombstone next to it.

  "That's it; I got nothing." She leaned to one side to rest on her arm, mimicking the statue's pose without realizing it. Suddenly, there was a click, followed by a clack, and her eyes widened. The whole stone slid into the hall, taking her with it and revealing a rectangular hole with a ladder heading down.

  Kira looked around at herself and the statue trying to figure out what she had done to activate the mechanism. She felt like an idiot when she figured out what it was. "Seriously, I had to copy its pose. How the hell was I supposed to figure that out?" She hopped off the stone as the others gathered around the hole.

  Max peered in. "Well, at least we know what's waiting for us down there."

  "You mean Death?" Kira asked matter-of-factly.

  Max set one foot on to the ladder. "Yup."

  Chapter Forty

  Max led his team with his guns drawn as they followed him in single file through the narrow underground passage. For a group of people about to face Death, he was surprised that the mood was rather light.

  Farn opened her journal and browsed through a playlist from a music app she had purchased. She switched the output from her ears to include her whole party. A version of Queen's ‘We Will Rock You’ faded in combined with an orchestral score that gave the familiar song more impact and revved up the group as they broke into a run.

  Kira belted out the words of the song, every now and then revealing a decent singing voice that Max didn't know she had. Ginger jumped to touch the ceiling like the grown-up that she was. The others copied her, looking like a high school football team running down the hall toward the field before a big game. Well, all except Kira who couldn't reach.

  The passage came to an end, and the group spilled out into a large room with a wide stairway leading up in the middle.

  Max froze, looking up at the chamber’s contents. "Well, crap."

  "Ha! It's not just me." Kira pointed in his direction with a wide smile on her face.

  The others stood with their mouths hanging open at the forty-foot statue before them of Max locked in combat with a massive skeleton.

  His form was placed low against one wall, resting on the floor as if he was in the middle of leaping backward. One leg was tucked up against his stone body while the other extended, arching over the stairs. Both arms were extended, pistols ready to fire at a skeleton dressed in rags coming at him at an angel from above. It reached out for him, its face contorted in a silent scream.

  With that, Kira's mood seemed to recover from the shock of seeing her own statue back in the crypt above. She materialized her wings and flew up to land on the on the statue's head. "I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that yours is so much bigger than mine." She placed her hands on her hips, looking dissatisfied.

  Max shrugged, resisting the urge to make the obvious joke. "At least it looks pretty badass."

  "Yeah, what the hell?" Kira let out an indignant growl as she stepped onto Max's giant stone nose and sat down on it, leaning forward with a huff. "Why do you get to be fully clothed while all I get is a little sheet. Is that sexist? I'm not sure."

  "Kinda," Ginger said while Farn nodded in agreement.

  Corvin stepped up the first few stairs, so he was standing under the statue's knee. "Obvious sexism aside, this thing gives me a thought."

  "About?" Kira asked.

  "Well, Max has the highest willpower, right? So if the point of this quest really is to make one of us strong enough to overpower the
system, then putting Kira in danger would certainly be a good way to create an emotional response to push you further. So maybe the whole point of choosing her is to use her as a hostage."

  "Okay, so my life could be in your hands," Kira said, sounding more casual than one would expect.

  It struck Max as odd that she didn't seem as worried as she had been up in the room above, looking at her own statue. Great, like that makes me feel better, Max thought, not wanting to worry about what might happen if he failed. "I guess it makes sense. If Carver watched our recordings, then he would know that I spend most of my time protecting you."

  Ginger laughed. "If that's the case, he probably thinks you two are lovers."

  "Eww." Max recoiled with an exaggerated gesture.

  Kira grimaced. "Don't say lovers."

  Ginger said it again, dragging out the word, "Loooovvverrrs."

  Farn climbed onto the statue, standing on its lap and leaning on its raised leg. "Wouldn't it be crazy if this whole quest was just because of a misunderstanding, and Carver just thinks you two are a couple." She looked from Kira down to Max.

  "Ugh." Max dragged a hand over his face. "Why the hell do people even think that?"

  Farn snorted and hooked a thumb up at the fairy. "Well, she is sitting on your face right now."

  "Ha! Nice." Kegan called out as Farn let on that her sense of humor was a little dirtier than Max and the others had thought.

  Kira looked down at the placement of the statue's nose. "Yikes." She shifted her view back to Farn. "At least I'm not standing on his junk."

  The Shield looked down as well, her boots planted on top of his massive stone crotch. She snorted. "So I am." They both laughed, though neither of them made any motion to move.