Frenetic (Arcane Mage Series Book 4)

by T. S. Snow

  “You sure?” he asked, not bothering to lower his voice.

  I loved him for it.

  “Yeah, I’m sure,” I lied.

  I was not sure. In fact, if there was one thing I was sure of, it was that I wasn’t sure.

  Abort mission. Abort mission.

  And because Bast was, well, Bast, he nodded before heading towards the bedroom.

  Just like that.

  He left me to deal with my own problems. How was this fair?

  Okay, so, I had like three minutes before he got dressed and came back here to get rid of Blaze for me. Which would be great, except it was about damn time I put my big girl panties on and dealt with it. Him.

  Besides, I couldn’t have Bast fight all my battles for me. Not when he trusted me enough to let me fight them myself.

  The banging on the door stopped, and Blaze’s voice was softer, his tone gentler when he spoke again. “Please, Char. Please just listen to me. And then if it’s truly what you want, I’ll leave and never bother you again. But I have to at least try.”

  Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.

  Why did he have to sound so sad, so broken? So… So in love?

  I took a deep breath and opened the door again, even as my heart tried to beat right out of my chest.

  “Talk,” I said, not letting him into the apartment.

  I needed the physical reminder that I could get away from it. It might’ve been cowardly, but it was also comforting, like I had an easy out, a backup plan.

  Blaze’s eyes were full of sorrow as he looked at me. He brought up a hand and pulled on his hair before taking a deep breath.

  “It was about five years ago, right after I turned eighteen. Classes hadn’t started yet, but there were a lot of parties. You know how it goes.”

  I nodded. I did indeed know how much Arcane society liked a party, and right before the Academy started, it seemed like there was one almost every single day. The reasoning they used was it was “a way for us to get to know our peers,” but the events were just excuses to flash status and see which family could throw the best parties. From what I’d heard, a lot of crazy shit happened in these things, like college gone wild or whatever. I did hear about this one particular party where the drunks had organized an escape room on steroids, using a lot of illusion magic. It had been a power move—a test to see who was strong enough to either break through the illusions or to just survive the mental strain.

  I’d have killed to try it out, minus all the people and alcohol, that was.

  “Well, Cara Silverstorm was a senior, and she took an interest in me. The fact that she belonged to another House just made it all the more thrilling, you know? I was young and stupid, and I thought she saw something in me nobody had before. I don’t know, I thought because she was the heir, she’d understand me in ways others didn’t. That she was interested in me for me, you know? Not…not for the power I had or the things I could do.” He gave a self-deprecating smile and shrugged.

  Every word out of his mouth was a fucking dagger to my heart. Hearing him talk about another girl was ripping me up inside. Especially when that girl was Cara...my cousin, the girl who had stolen everything from me. The girl who had been put in place and given the world so she could replace me, even to my own parents. I wanted to flinch, to close the door in his face again. But I said I’d hear him out, and I owed it to him to do it. Even if it hurt like a bitch.

  “We kept it a secret because of the taboo over it, but it felt like I had found something meaningful…until our one-year anniversary. My brother called me up to his house so we could discuss something, and I found him balls deep inside of her, while she shouted his name.”

  I just stood there, gaping.

  What in the name of plot twists? I knew Cara was rotten inside, but that? That was a whole new level of fucked up. Blaze did not deserve to have his own brother and my stupid cousin treat him this way. Fuck. I wouldn’t wish that kind of thing on my worst enemy, let alone...let alone someone I cared about.

  I kinda wanted to stab Cara with multiple tiny swords for what she’d done to Blaze.

  “Turns out, Dean was the reason she hit on me in the first place, and when he deemed it was time for me to know, he set everything up. I never touched her again, never spoke to her again unless we were at some function and it was required.” His face blushed, although whether it was in anger or humiliation, I couldn’t tell. “She never sought me out, either, until that day at the hospital. Little Spitfire, I have no idea what she’s up to, but I assure you, we’re not together and we haven’t been together in a long time. I realize I should’ve told you about it, but…truth is, I was embarrassed. It’s so stupid, the way I fell for their lies.” Blaze grimaced, even as his eyes sought out mine, begging me to understand.

  The worst part was, I did. Well, I kind of did, anyway.

  I knew Cara. I’d grown up with her, which meant I knew exactly the kind of person she was. While I’d been surprised to learn about her relationship with Blaze, her betrayal and the fact she’d been chummy with his brother did not surprise me one bit.

  In fact, I’d caught wind of her messed-up relationship with Dean Futhark, and I’d always thought the two of them deserved each other.

  Cara had been in it for the power, and apparently, Dean had been in it to mess with his brother. Or who knew? Maybe his motives were worse, different. But after a couple years, they’d kind of broken things off.

  At least if her warning for me to stay away from Logan was any indication, she was on the lookout for a new powerful plaything.

  Why she kept going after the men from other families, I had no idea. Cara had to know she couldn’t marry outside of the Elemental mage line. Having affairs was all well and good, but if she married one of them, there would be hell to pay.

  Goddess forbid a Head of the family had a hybrid baby with someone and didn’t know what kind of magic they’d have. Oh, the scandal would be enough to keep people up for days.

  I felt bad for Blaze and what he’d been through. Really, I did, but two wrongs didn’t make a right. And besides…

  “What about the bet?” I asked, and watched Blaze flinch and shift his weight from one foot to the other.

  “Do you really want to talk about this here? In the corridor? Blair is about to arrive.” He looked over his shoulder as if to illustrate his point, and I frowned.

  “Speaking of, why isn’t she here yet?” We’d scheduled a time but only Blaze had shown up, and it hadn’t occurred to me to find it weird until just now.

  Blaze had the decency to look flushed.

  “Right. Yeah. Uh, I asked her to. Or not to. I…I convinced her to let me arrive alone so I could try to talk to you. She agreed with the promise that if you told me to get lost, I would.”

  Even Blair was on his side? What the hell? She should be on my and Bast’s side.

  Oh wait, no. Blair firmly believed I should get a harem of my own, so it probably shouldn’t surprise me she’d agreed to let Blaze arrive alone.

  Urgh.

  Instead of talking, I stepped to the side to let Blaze in. After closing the door, I walked to the kitchen, knowing he would follow.

  The kitchen was the place with less Bast stuff, and while I wasn’t hiding Bast from Blaze—there was no way I could possibly hide the six-foot-something of yummy goodness perfection that was Bast—I didn’t know if Bast had any Necromancer stuff hanging around that would compromise him.

  Kitchen was safe, though. I’d spent a lot of time sitting there while I watched him cook.

  Ten out of ten, would recommend the view, especially when he was shirtless.

  I wasn’t sure if I wanted Bast to get out of that room now or if I’d rather he remain there. On one hand, it would show Blaze I was over him and his stupid bet was pointless.

  On the other hand, it was a major bitch move, especially considering what had happened between him and my damn cousin.

  Difference being, I wasn’t planning on keeping my
relationship with Bast a secret at all.

  In my next life, I wanted to come back as a dog—a very spoiled, adorable house dog whose main concern would be whether to sniff my own butt or take another nap.

  No more dating, no more having to juggle men and their demands, no more emotional rollercoasters.

  It would be just me and my treats. Maybe some belly rubbing too.

  Talk about goals.

  “Char, will you please at least look at me?” Blaze grabbed my arm lightly right as I was about to pass the kitchen island and head to the fridge. His touch threw off my momentum, though, and I tripped on my own damn feet.

  Thankfully, touchy-feely tattooed hottie was already holding me and prevented me from making a complete fool of myself while I was trying to play the badass scorned woman.

  Way to make an impression, Char. How are we supposed to pretend to be a strong, independent woman when we can’t keep ourselves from embarrassingly falling around?

  Ugh.

  I wanted a do-over.

  Where were the super-cool powers that would allow me to turn back time so I could try this whole thing again, this time with no mistakes, no pity, and absolutely zero tripping?

  All I had was some lame-ass elemental power.

  Okay, well, not lame, but still. If I could turn back time as often as I wanted to, or even fast-forward it, my life would be so much easier.

  “Little Spitfire, are you okay?” Blaze’s soft question had me blinking at him and realizing my face was waaay too close to his.

  More specifically, my eyes were level with his mouth, and boy had I missed the taste of him.

  No! Bad, Charisma. Heartbreak and fury, remember? Blaze bad. Kissing Blaze even badder.

  Or, you know, worse.

  I almost rolled my eyes at my internal voice.

  Instead, I jumped away from Blaze’s arms a minute too late and stood upright, walking around the island so the counter would be between us.

  My move didn’t go unnoticed, and both hurt and resignation flashed in Blaze’s eyes.

  “Yeah. I’m okay. I was just doing a random gravity check, you know. It’s totally a thing,” I added when he just smiled at me like I was being cute.

  I wasn’t.

  I was being a wimp. This had to stop. Right now.

  “Blaze, I know about the bet, so I’m sorry if I don’t just forgive and forget and welcome you with open arms. What I do not know, nor can I understand, is why. If Andres is to be believed, you agreed to the bet after we had already broken up. It makes no sense to me why you would agree to something like that when you’d already had me. Was it just…a challenge? Is the bet the reason you want me back?”

  Blaze flinched, and I felt awful for all of a second before I steeled my resolve.

  No. I would not be made to feel bad for calling out someone who had hurt me.

  Never again.

  “Fuck that stupid bet, Charisma. I don’t care about it, never did. In fact, I planned on warning you about it, but I couldn’t get you to talk to me.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, messing it up completely and ruining the cool edgy look he’d had when he knocked on the door. “I wanted you back. No, I still want you back. That damn agreement the other heirs made was just that—an agreement to let you date us all so you would pick your favorite. But I was against it and I said so. I just… It happened right after you ran away from me, and I was barely thinking straight. That Soulbinder fuck, your ex, was being crazy, and I think all of us just kind of…snapped.”

  I rubbed my eyes as a headache from hell started to manifest. There was so much wrong in all of it, and yet…yet it kind of made sense.

  Theo could be annoying as hell. I knew that firsthand, and I’d loved him despite it. Or because of it, maybe.

  When we were kids, he’d always been a bit possessive of his things, be it toys, friends, or…well, me. But when we were kids, I’d thought his possessiveness was charming, a show of affection, a proof of his love.

  My mistake was encouraging it, just a little.

  But then again, I’d had literally two people in the whole world who cared about me and being wanted by anyone had felt marvelous.

  It still did, even if my little group of friends had grown slightly since my childhood.

  “Char…did any of them act dishonorably towards you? Because I swear to the Goddess, if they did, I will—”

  I shook my head. “No, nobody did anything. That’s not to say I can trust anyone’s motivation from now on, is it? How am I supposed to know if any of you are pursuing me for me, or because I’m yet another conquest to give you guys brownie points in your messed-up rivalry?”

  That was the thing bugging me most of all—the fact I’d doubt their reasoning from now on.

  Not that I had any reason to even entertain the idea of dating any of them when I was already with Bast, but still.

  Part of me wasn’t ready to give them up, and my ego was more than a little bruised.

  It wasn’t just my pride, either, but I was throwing that tidbit of information in denial land.

  Blaze walked up to me, cupping my cheek and forcing me to lift my head when I refused to look at him. “Little Spitfire, I don’t think you have to worry about that at all,” he murmured softly.

  I shook my head, but his grip remained.

  “No, you’re the only one who doesn’t see how extraordinary you are, Char. We were all interested in you and wanted to date you, to court you, and I’m pretty fucking sure it isn’t because of your amazing social abilities or even your Magical Engineer skills, though you’re a remarkable engineer. Any guy would be lucky to have you, and it would be enough to leave the rest of us bastards jealous. You’re this amazingly bright, dorky light in our gloomy lives. There’s no denying the effect you’ve had in my life and in their lives too. The Soulbinder might be a creepy, stupid, stubborn fucker, but I can understand his difficulty in letting you go, because I’m pretty damn sure if I were in his shoes, I’d be experiencing much the same. And the Nightshade fooled no one with his fake indifference to you. The minute your name was spoken, he lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. We’ve all been bewitched by you and your fire, Char, and whoever you pick is going to be one lucky fucker. Please stop doubting yourself or your worth. Just because your family was stupid enough not to see it, it doesn’t mean we’re all blind.”

  That was the moment something inside of me just burst free, and I almost did the stupidest thing I could ever do.

  I grabbed him by the shirt and leaned in close, then closed my eyes and felt his breath hovering over my lips.

  That was when the doorbell rang, breaking our moment.

  Shit. I was literally just saved by the bell.

  5

  Andres

  I wrung my hands together as I stood right outside Bastille’s door and took deep breaths, trying to calm down. I was more nervous than I’d been as a teenager right before my first date.

  And this wasn’t even a date.

  Of course, I was to blame for that. I’d fucked things up with Charisma, and I’d made her cry. I mean, she had every right to be upset, and I probably deserved a damn beating, but fuck.

  Granted, Charisma probably wasn’t even inside. She wasn’t the reason I was here right now, anyway. Bast had made it perfectly clear when he agreed to help me out.

  We were going to smuggle Gran into my parents’ mansion so she could have a look at my father and confirm our suspicions. Alma Siela-Tumba was my last hope.

  Not that I thought she could fix my father, but if she could figure out what exactly was wrong with him, then maybe there was a chance.

  I could worry about pulling my foot out of my mouth and making things right with Char later, once this was solved or at least settled.

  Bast’s only condition to helping me was that I wouldn’t pressure Char into forgiving me, not until she’d had time to process things and decide if she wanted to talk to me. Which was more than fair.

  She’d
already done more than I’d ever hoped when she agreed to help me with that fucking duel despite what I did.

  I raised my fist to knock on the door, but stopped midair and dropped my hand again.

  What if she was inside? Would I be able to prevent myself from crawling to her feet and asking for forgiveness?

  You have to, Andres. Father’s life depends on it.

  “Are you just going to stand there all day, or do you plan to actually ring the doorbell?” Blair’s snarky words had me turning my head to face her, eyes wide.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, instead of letting loose the many curses I had on my tongue.

  Blair raised an eyebrow. “You do realize my brother lives here, right?”

  “Our brother,” I corrected, almost automatically.

  Blair’s eyebrow rose even higher, and she was smiling that damn superior smile she loved to do whenever she knew she had won. “Well, if I were to be really pedantic about it, I’d point out he is my brother, not yours. I’m the only link you have with Bast, baby brother.”

  Damn, I hated that fucking nickname.

  And she knew it too.

  “Oh, c’mon now, sis, you know that when I adopted you as a sister, I adopted him as a brother too. Besides, if it all goes well, he’ll be my brother-husband, which means he’ll be my brother twice. That’s one time more than he’s your brother, in case you’re not keeping count.” I walked to her and threw an arm over her shoulder, enjoying the easy banter that kept my head away from…other things.

  Blair shrugged my arm from her shoulder, walked to the door, and rang the doorbell.

  “You’re assuming she’ll want your sorry excuse for a mage. Sorry, baby brother, but I think that girl is way too much sand for your little toy truck,” she teased.

  If only she knew how true her words actually were, Blair would probably kick my ass.

  There was some scuffling, a loud yelp, and then the door swung open, revealing Charisma herself.

  Her hair was up in a ponytail, highlighting the beauty of her gorgeous eyes. They shone like liquid silver, drawing me in, hypnotizing me. Especially since her cheeks were a shade of pink that almost matched her hair, and she looked…flustered.