Awaken, Shadows of a Forgotten Past

by Marcia Maidana

  Dressed in a dark navy uniform, pockets full of honorary decorations, General Sterling stood well over six feet tall, with a straight back that supported a perfect posture. He was broad-shouldered and thin-hipped. His intense blue eyes were dominant and a complement to his fair skin and dark hair.

  “Alexander, my daughter, Florence.”

  “My lady, it is a pleasure to meet you.” The lieutenant general leaned forward and reached for my hand, holding it longer than needed. His penetrating gaze swept over me as thoroughly as he might reconnoiter an enemy threshold. I retrieved my hand, giving what I hoped was an equally cool gaze to hide the fact that my heartbeat was struggling to slow down, and it had little to do with my run across the fields.

  My father offered his arm to me, and the march to Forte Radici, resumed.

  My father spoke about his long journey, and occasionally I nodded to signal my attention, but General Sterling had stolen my focus. As we walked, I did my best not to look at him, but I failed miserably in the attempt. The temptation to inspect him further was irresistible. We had advanced a ways when I realized that he was aware of my scrutiny, and he was enjoying it. My gaze fell to the ground, my face hot in embarrassment; I wished I could magically disappear to erase my foolishness.

  Being the only living child of General Marcus Contini—head of the British Army—had its implications.

  My name, for example, was well recognized and respected wherever I went. All who visited our manor treated me according to my standing in society—especially the soldiers that accompanied my father on his trips, and which he so generously invited to our house for training and rest.

  More than once I had wondered if I would ever find someone who would really like me for who I was and not because of my father’s rank. The older I grew, the more I doubted it. I was now twenty-one and still under the constant watch of Mrs. Allerton, the housekeeper. She meant well and I loved her, but I wished I had a little more freedom to be myself. Perhaps, it was time that I claimed the right to speak and act without restraints. Maybe, then I would feel less foolish around others.

  “Mrs. Allerton—always so efficient,” my father observed as we entered Forte Radici’s gardens.

  The trucks were already parked off to the side of the manor. The group of soldiers waited close by, stretching their legs after the long ride.

  The servants formed a line in front of the house to welcome my father. I shook my head at the whiteness of the maids’ aprons and caps. Mrs. Allerton had them washed several times to achieve their brilliance.

  Mrs. Allerton was first in line, then Mr. Leroy, and Mr. Lewis the chauffeur, followed by the rest of Forte Radici’s staff. My father swiftly greeted everyone, and introduced the small group of about twenty soldiers.

  “You must be General Sterling,” said Mrs. Allerton, throwing a suggestive look at me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  “The pleasure is all mine.”

  “You are awfully young to be a lieutenant general,” she noted.

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.” His face lit up with the most breathtaking smile I had ever seen.

  I was making a fool out of myself and couldn’t help it; there was something about him that like a magnet drew me to him. Stop looking at him! I ordered myself.

  “I’m sure your family—your wife, is very proud of your career,” Mrs. Allerton continued with the sole purpose of obtaining personal information—on my behalf, I feared.

  “My parents are very happy for me,” he clarified. Was he married? I didn’t like the idea. As if guessing my thoughts, he answered my question, “I’m not married…yet.”

  “Surely engaged, then?” Mrs. Allerton pressed.

  “No, not engaged either,” he answered.

  “Oh, how can that be possible?” Mrs. Allerton tried to sound alarmed for his misfortune, but I knew how thrilled she was—she would do everything in her power to get the lieutenant and me together. I shook my head in dismay.

  “Shall we go inside?” My father’s invitation came as a relief.

  Guided by Mrs. Allerton the company moved inside, the servants dispersed. Tucking me under his arm, my father lingered behind to interrogate Mr. Lewis about “Silver.” Silver was my father’s last Christmas gift to himself, a 1910 Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost. Unlike all the other vehicles on the road, which looked like horseless carriages, the Silver Ghost was the breakthrough in automobile technology. Equipped with a six-cylinder engine, three-speed manual gearbox, and rear-wheel drum brakes, it was capable of reaching over twenty miles per hour on a good road, making it the most luxurious car ever made.

  “We’ll have to take it for a ride tomorrow,” my father said to Mr. Lewis.

  “Yes sir, first thing in the morning.” Mr. Lewis was more than happy to comply.

  I picked up one of my favorite books and plunged on my four-poster bed to shake off whatever had overtaken me earlier. The call for dinner would come too soon; I wasn’t sure I wanted to be exposed to General Sterling’s inquisitive eyes again. For now, I was safe here, hiding in my room.

  Unfortunately, my peace wasn’t meant to last. “How strange,” I muttered, putting the book down to attune my ears to the unexpected commotion just outside my room.

  Curious, I marched out into the hall. There shouldn’t be anyone staying in this wing of the manor—only for closest friends or family would there be an exception—but I hadn’t invited anyone. Then, like a violent slap in the face, the request from my father’s letter to prepare an upper room for General Sterling pierced my memory—but surely, he’d stay on the opposite wing, away from me…

  By Lucca’s door stood Mrs. Allerton, giving instructions to a maid to prepare the room. Behind them, another servant appeared carrying a pair of military bags. To my astonishment, instead of turning right, the servant took a left turn and placed the bags on the floor by Mrs. Allerton’s feet.

  “What is going on?” I narrowed my eyes at Mrs. Allerton.

  “Nothing dear.” The studied calm in her voice belied her.

  “Why are these bags here?”

  “What bags? Why?” Mrs. Allerton rubbed her hands nervously.

  “What do you mean ‘what bags’?” I kicked one of the green sacks, hard. “Whose bags are these?”

  “They are mine.” Of course, it had to be him. His voice came loud and clear from behind me. I gave Mrs. Allerton a piercing stare. She was a traitor, and she knew it.

  “Why are they up here?” I turned to face the lieutenant general, feeling my anger rise.

  “Your father said I should stay in this room.” General Sterling’s tone was serene but determined.

  “That’s General Contini to you, lieutenant,” I snapped. “And there must be a mistake. This is my brother’s room. You can’t stay here.”

  “I’ll go speak to the general.” Mrs. Allerton took the easiest way out. The whole thing was ridiculous. There were plenty of nice rooms available. My brother’s room wasn’t an option, and she was well aware of its limits.

  “Yes—you go do that!” I fumed.

  “What’s all the unnecessary fuss about, miss? It’s just a room.” He gave me a crooked smile.

  “It’s not just a room, and you can’t stay in it!”

  He folded his arms across his chest, took a step towards me, and held my gaze. “Would you rather I stay in yours?” The maid, who had been serious as a stone, let out a shocked laugh before covering her mouth with her hand.

  Dumbfounded, my eyebrows raised, my mouth agape, I stared at him. In my entire life, I had never been so humiliated.

  “I’ll take that as a no.” Releasing me from his deep eyes, he picked up the bags off the floor. “Well, lady, orders are orders, and I wouldn’t dare to disobey General Contini’s. So, if you’ll excuse me—” He walked into the room. I was about to follow him, to throw him out of my brother’s room, but he was quick to shut the door behind him, and even quicker to secure the lock.

  His arrogance was beyond unbelievabl
e. My rage surfaced like hot lava—my eyes, my mouth, my entire body was trembling with it. He had to be removed from Lucca’s room at once.

  “Don’t worry about cleaning this room. Nobody is going to stay in it!” I said to the maid, raising my voice to ensure it reached his ears. I stormed down the stairs and stomped into my father’s office.

  “Why?” was the first word that came out of my mouth.

  “Sit down, Florence. Please.” Calmly, my father pointed to a chair, he had expected my furious reaction.

  “Do you know how much this hurts me? How could you?”

  “Let me explain before you jump to any conclusions, and I’m sure you’ll agree with my decision.” My father’s calmness helped me compose myself, at least temporarily.

  “All right, I’ll listen,” I said grudgingly. My father brought a chair to sit next to me.

  “When your brother died, a part of me died with him. Besides losing your mother, losing Lucca was the hardest thing I ever had to endure.” His gaze fell to the floor. “I see people die all the time, Florence. I see families grieving their dead almost daily. But it wasn’t until I lost my own son that I understood their despair.”

  “Father—I know.” His words were a painful reminder of my own feelings. I released my arms from a folded position and took his hands in mine.

  “General Sterling came under my command soon after we lost Lucca. He is an amazing young man. I can’t tell you how much his support and help have comforted me.”

  “He can never replace Lucca.”

  “No, of course not. No one could ever take your brother’s place. But someone could be good like Lucca was.” Seeing the stubbornness in my countenance, my father pleaded—something he wasn’t accustomed to do, but a great general knows which weapons to utilize. “Florence, listen to me.”

  I sighed and averted my eyes from him, but listened.

  “General Sterling has saved my life more than once during combat. He even took a bullet for me,” his voice slowed a little. “When I saw him falling to the ground bathed in blood, the first thing that crossed my mind was that he was someone’s son. Someone who would grieve his loss as much as I have grieved Lucca’s. I still don’t understand how he recovered from the wounds he received, the bullet barely missed his heart. He should have died. But one thing I know with certainty—if it wasn’t for that young man’s loyalty, I would be buried next to your brother. I owe him my life. He is definitely not afraid to die for others. Do you know how few men are like that? How few are born fearless? That’s one of the reasons he is the youngest soldier to have achieved the rank of Lieutenant General in this country.”

  As my father spoke, I felt anger draining away, replaced by gratitude to have my father alive. “I’m so afraid you won’t return one of these days,” I admitted. “Why haven’t you told me this before?”

  General Contini ran his fingers through his mustache, something he did when he was nervous, before answering. “I couldn’t. It would have only made you restless when I was gone.”

  “I’m already restless. I hardly sleep anymore. When is this nightmare going to end?”

  “I don’t know. All I know is that we need to enjoy the time we have been given.” His reasoning skills were disarming.

  “I agree, Papa.” I leaned my head to rest it on his shoulder. “But I still don’t understand why he has to stay in Lucca’s room.”

  “Apart from yours, your brother’s room is the largest and nicest in the manor—you know that.” He was ahead of the discussion again. With the most expensive furniture resting on top of thick Arabian rugs, its own fireplace, powder room, sitting area, and the best views of the magnificent gardens, the room was a hidden paradise in the immense house.

  “Yes, but he probably wouldn’t even know the difference,” I retorted. General Sterling’s arrogance was a fresh wound to my ego.

  “I’m sure he would’ve been happy anywhere in the house, even in the stables, but I wouldn’t be satisfied unless I provided him with the best. He deserves it.”

  I was smart enough to know that I had lost this battle to the lieutenant. But there would be more to come, which, no matter by what means, I would win. “All right—I won’t say one more word about it.”

  “Thank you, Florence.” My father helped me up to my feet and gave me a strong hug.

  I pressed my lips, but the words still came out. “It doesn’t mean I like it. I would gladly give him one of the stalls in the stables.”

  My father laughed.

  15

  ~ Falling in Love ~

  I knew that he was the reason that my father was still alive, but after all, wasn’t that his duty as a soldier?

  I shook my head at the memory of the arrogant Lieutenant General Sterling as I hurried to breakfast in hopes of being done before any undesirable company showed up. His comments from the previous night were still vivid in my mind.

  After dinner, I had fired the words at him, “I’m sure, any soldier would’ve done exactly the same,” to bring him down from his high pedestal. The general’s impoliteness and disregard about my feelings concerning Lucca’s room was still a fresh wound in my heart.

  “For your father, I’m sure they would have, but for you—” He paused, provoking my anger.

  “For me, I assure you, lieutenant, that any soldier would gladly give his life without a second thought.” I smiled remembering my quick comeback, but as soon as I stepped into the breakfast room, my smile was wiped away. My father wasn’t here yet, nor were any servants present. The person I’d hoped to avoid sat alone at the table.

  It had been a long night, which I spent tossing and turning. Mrs. Allerton’s insistence that I get out of bed at a decent time, as she called it, didn’t help matters. I felt wretched, and the sight of Lieutenant General Sterling only compounded my misery.

  I sat at the end of the table, as far as possible from him, ignoring his presence.

  “Good morning, Miss Contini.” From the corner of my eye, I saw him smiling.

  “There is nothing good about it,” I groaned.

  “Well, it’s good to see me, isn’t it?”

  Letting the brunt of my irritability fall on him, I said, “Were you born simple-minded or is it a side effect of the war?”

  His deep blue eyes filled with a shine that almost made me laugh at my own words, but I kept my somber disposition.

  “I won’t take your rudeness personally. I understand that you’re upset because you had to arise early. I heard you whining about it to Mrs. Allerton this morning,” he mocked.

  “I wasn’t whining, lieutenant.” My fingers squeezed the knife sitting by my plate. I had to stay in control of myself. Where is the maid to serve breakfast?

  “It’s lieutenant general to you, miss—or if you prefer, general.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind—lieutenant.” I smiled with false sweetness.

  He smiled back and quickly attacked again. “Well, if it wasn’t whining, what should I call the screechy sounds you were making?”

  “It’s good to see you two conversing,” my father said, entering the room. A maid followed him with a tray in hand.

  I bit my tongue; my reply to General Sterling would have to wait.

  “Your daughter is a delight to be around,” said General Sterling and stood briefly as my father took his seat.

  “We agree on that much, Alexander,” my father replied. “Please, do come sit closer.” He followed his invitation with a brief glance, first at me, then at the general, and back at me. Father was an intelligent man; at once, he knew that my distance at the table from his favorite soldier was not a coincidence. General Sterling happily obliged to his superior’s request, situating himself straight across from me.

  I wanted to leave, but my hunger for breakfast constrained me to stay. Besides, leaving so soon would be a sign of weakness—I would stay.

  Almost imperceptibly, the maid moved about the room to serve our hot drinks and to place fruits, toast, butter, and m
armalade on the table. She then served the cold cuts of meat. I passed on the meat; it made me sick in the morning. I noticed that General Sterling took two pieces of meat, some fruits, and a toast that was unrecognizable after he drowned it in marmalade. I wondered how he could eat so much.

  “How did you two sleep last night?” father asked. I didn’t like the words ‘you two’ and ‘sleep’ together.

  “Excellent, thank you sir,” the young general answered.

  “Fine,” I retorted.

  “How about you, sir?” General Sterling asked.

  “Better than I have in a long time. It’s wonderful to sleep in a comfortable bed,” father acknowledged.

  “I must say that I agree with you, sir. The bed in the room I’m staying in is perfect.”

  “Sure, it is,” I said, under my breath. “Better than you’ve ever had.”

  “I’m glad you find it to your liking,” said father, and turned to face the maid, who was standing by the serving table alongside the back wall. “Is there any porridge today?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Before she could retrieve the porridge’s serving bowl, father stopped her. “It’s all right, I’ll get it myself.” He left the table.

  I reached for a piece of toast and General Sterling did the same, but instead of taking the bread, he grabbed my hand. For an instant, I thought he would let go, but when he didn’t, I looked up at him, and he whispered, “I heard what you said.”

  I tried to free my hand but his grip was strong. “So, you did.”

  He nodded. “And you are right.”

  I looked at him curiously. Was he really saying that I was right on something? What was I supposed to answer?

  He was quick to catch the conflict in my eyes and end it—still holding my hand and my gaze, he finished his statement, softly, so my father couldn’t hear, “I’m not used to having such a nice bed.” He winked at me, and let go of my hand. I felt my face grow hot in astonishment. What did he mean by that? I didn’t think I wanted to know.